Skitzocow Dana Marie Cain / Oracle of Venus / The Scorpion - Divorced Unlovable Batshit Space Demon Waitress with NPD, Gangstalked by Alphabet Agencies, "Pretending to be Rеtarded", #SaveJoelIrish, running from the long arm of the law

[Lucricitous]

Still a better love story than Twilight.

 

[Zarkov]

For some reason she reminds me of Lois from Malcolm in the Middle.

 

[Doctor Stan]

Do you really want that thing to go mostly naked during her transformation sequence?

DIDN'T FUCKING THINK SO.

Dear God no

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

I've never laughed this hard at an OP before, good job.

I imagine her losing her waitressing job probably involved her going apeshit at a customer or coworker.

 

[MormonofID]

OK, as a Mormon, we don't put people under surveillance. Also, and this is something that could be said of most, if not all, conspiracy theories about a secret plan/organization ruling the world, if it were really going on, it would be covered in so much secrecy, that anyone who found out about it would likely be killed before they could tell anyone, even if it's someone no one would believe like this crazy lady.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Good lord, this woman's fucking nuts. This woman makes Alex Jones look like a normal person.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Also, and this is something that could be said of most, if not all, conspiracy theories about a secret plan/organization ruling the world, if it were really going on, it would be covered in so much secrecy, that anyone who found out about it would likely be killed before they could tell anyone, even if it's someone no one would believe like this crazy lady.

And how many people would they have to suborn in order to prevent leaks? Watergate only lasted a few years before someone ratted it out and that was with only a handful of conspirators.

 

[Clop]

former Scientologist

At first I was going to call bullshit on anyone escaping Scientology and managing to create a YT account before they were brutally murdered, but then I read the rest of the post and realized that Scientologists probably thought she was too fucked in the head for their group.

 

[Dr. Cossack]

if it were really going on, it would be covered in so much secrecy, that anyone who found out about it would likely be killed before they could tell anyone,

I've found that those who are effective at demystifying what JFK called a "monolithic and ruthless conspiracy to enslave every man, woman and child" very rarely die of old age. It's always sad to see someone, like Dana, destroy themselves with a conspiracy theory; due to their delusions of grandeur. It's always them against a conspiracy (coming after them for nonsensical reasons that make sense only to them) of whatever shadowy group spooks them the most. I guess you even combine them into the Masonic Naval Mormon Alliance Against Dana Marie "Venus" Cain and add bonus points to your Venusian God Powers.

 

[DrJonesHat]

OK, as a Mormon, we don't put people under surveillance. Also, and this is something that could be said of most, if not all, conspiracy theories about a secret plan/organization ruling the world, if it were really going on, it would be covered in so much secrecy, that anyone who found out about it would likely be killed before they could tell anyone, even if it's someone no one would believe like this crazy lady.

Or there'd have to be so many people in on the conspiracy, it would be impossible to keep it secret.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

I want to live in the world where the shit she says is true.

 

[MormonofID]

Or there'd have to be so many people in on the conspiracy, it would be impossible to keep it secret.

Exactly. And yet, when you point this out to a conspiracy theorist, they throw a hissy fit about how you're just brainwashed.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Exactly. And yet, when you point this out to a conspiracy theorist, they throw a hissy fit about how you're just brainwashed.

Anyone who doesn't believe in the conspiracy is either brainwashed by it or a full on shill for the conspiracy.

 

[DefunctChip]

The fact that I knew exactly what kind of person I would be reading about when I saw /x/ in the title makes me reconsider ever having fucked around on that board. Christ Almight. Anyone wanna tell me what the hell is up with the Dadcest thing? Like, is there a video where she just flat up admits she was fucking her Dad? Because man that is some shit you don't just casually admit.

I did get a chuckle out of how her age kinda reflects in her nuttiness, though. Older women just seem to have this odd thing for celestial beings guiding their vagina.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Older women just seem to have this odd thing for celestial beings guiding their vagina.

This explains Gwyneth Paltrow's thing for steaming hers and shoving a pebble up it.

 

[MarissaXD]

At first I was going to call bullshit on anyone escaping Scientology and managing to create a YT account before they were brutally murdered, but then I read the rest of the post and realized that Scientologists probably thought she was too fucked in the head for their group.

When the Scientologists can't even find a redeeming quality yet keep couch jumping Tom Cruise around speaks volumes of how FUBAR this woman is.

 

[Doctor Stan]

The fact that I knew exactly what kind of person I would be reading about when I saw /x/ in the title makes me reconsider ever having fucked around on that board.

Same, /x/ was a mistake

When the Scientologists can't even find a redeeming quality yet keep couch jumping Tom Cruise around speaks volumes of how FUBAR this woman is.

She might have been too broke to keep being a scientologist, since like everything involving it costs a few grand from my understanding

 

[Ruin]

We should set her up with @Brad Watson_Miami. They'd have a lot to talk about both being Gods and all.

 

[Budgie]

She looks like a cracked out version of the mom from A Christmas Story.

Spoiler

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I love the delusions of schizophrenics. I mean, this is the kind of world building you'd get if Jack Kirby spent a week with Hunter S. Thompson. I'd love to get someone really schizo and pair them up with a decent ghostwriter and see what science fantasy madness results.

How thirsty were these guys to stick their dick in this much crazy?

By the sounds of things, she's hypersexual and, being crazy, is no doubt up for the kinky stuff. Like, you've had a few beers, it's getting late, you could try for someone younger or better-looking or not bugfuck insane but this woman is right there. I'd imagine there are plenty of guys who, under the circumstances, wouldn't think too hard.

At first I was going to call bullshit on anyone escaping Scientology and managing to create a YT account before they were brutally murdered, but then I read the rest of the post and realized that Scientologists probably thought she was too fucked in the head for their group.

You vastly overestimate the amount of power the Church of Scientology has these days.

Spoiler: Where Scientology is at

So it used to be the case that the Church of Scientology would go after its critics - they weren't really about the murder, although Hubbard was deluded enough to think he could just straight-up order hits on people. However, they did conduct massive harassment campaigns against critics, and particularly against former members who spoke out.

Unfortunately, the Internet has made this much more difficult. Firstly, because it is now possible to publicise the shady shit they do - your guy in shades parked outside the house looks a whole lot less scary when you video him trying not to answer questions and put it on YouTube. Secondly, there are now a whole lot more critics - far more than the Church could ever deal with. Thirdly, networks of former members have made it a lot easier for current members to leave. And finally, because it's now common knowledge that the Church is a destructive cult, they're desperately short of new members.

Membership is currently estimated at under 20,000, which is probably considerably less than the number of people who have criticised or made fun of the church, and a small fraction of the number of members who've left. They simply don't have the resources to conduct the kind of campaigns they used to. They do attack some of the more prominent defectors (Mike Rinder, Paul Haggis, Leah Remini), but you have to really scare them to get that kind of attention.