Cultcow EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan / cannotgoogleme - Edgy weeaboo coomer with pedo tendencies and 15+ years internet history as a lolcow, now known as a disaster developer behind eternal debug build called "Yandere Simulator", confirmed groomer and dollfucker

[Snacker]

Alex, I know you're reading this:

• Get your act together. Working 70h/week is pointless, creative work output starts dropping after about 50h/week, so you would literally work faster if you worked only 40–50h/week. (And if you actually work for 15h/week, like most people here think... well, then you'd obviously work faster if you switched to 40h/week.)
  
• Hire a programmer. A good programmer with both Unity experience and some business software experience. Hire him for a month. It will cost you, but you need to do it. Go for Eastern Europe if you want to be cheap, they're cheap as Indians but without all that Indian outsourcing bullshit. Or go for an American like a true patriot, but that'll cost ya.
  
• But most importantly, don't be a Jew and pick a volunteer just because he's free – unless that slave is experienced, it would mean two spaghetti benders instead of one, which is as bad or even worse than before.
  
• Give the programmer a single task: refactoring and optimizing the whole codebase. And I mean deep refactor, not some lipstick on a pig that was done recently thanks to TinyBuild.
  
• While the programmer is working, you are not allowed to touch the code. Just check on him every two days to see if you aren't paying him for nothing and learn from his code, because that code will be the base your work will be built upon from now on.
• If the programmer asks you if he can remove or simplify some easter eggs or some other bullshit, consider allowing him. Scratch that. Allow him. The easter eggs are one of the main reasons the code is shit. It's not like people care about them for more than a week.
  
• Spend the remaining time on reading programming books and game design books, designing the game, "research", story writing, fixing the copyright status of your assets, dicking around, whatever. Just let people smarter than you fix your mess. And don't cry like a little baby when you see your code totally changed and different – that means that it's no longer such a hot mess
• Yes, I know this plan means no new features for at least a month. Doesn't matter – it's not like you churn out new features that fast anyway. You don't have deadlines, so stop trying to add haphazard things to your katamari ball of spaghetti and look at the bigger picture.
• Don't be afraid of removing things from the game. No one gets things right on the first time. Fans will whine, but they'll finally accept it. Start by fixing the ridiculous character names and backstories.
• It will be still your game even if you don't make everything yourself. It's a sign of maturity knowing when to give up on something and asking someone else to do it. Your tween fans would adore you even if you were just a façade for a large faceless company.
• Or you can continue as usual and nothing will change.

Such solid advice. Such a shame that he is incapable of taking criticism and will never listen to it.

 

[No Nails]

fftopic:So Alex and I got into a bit of a spat on the Discord, but Alex did apologize. I was going to drop it and not post on here, but the server founded decided to basically blackball me when I asked that Alex receive a warning for being so rude for no reason.

Spoiler: Lots of Screenshots

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Now today the founder decided to strip me of my VIP role and claimed that I was "strawmanning" when I pointed it out. I was going to not mention the issue above, but the Discord is going to shit really quickly. The founder claimed he would speak to Alex about following the rules, but I highly doubt he will. He also said:

Spoiler: More Screenshots

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Wow. I thought Alex was being rather rude the time I posted Screenshots of the Stream, but oh was I wrong. That is not okay if he wants to be taken seriously by everyone. Why, in gods name, would you just go and insult someone who's just giving you advice ? Alex, do you know what 'advice' is ? SHE, btw, not he, tried to help you. The :autism: is huge in this one, I see.

 

[Adamska]

Wow. I thought Alex was being rather rude the time I posted Screenshots of the Stream, but oh was I wrong. That is not okay if he wants to be taken seriously by everyone. Why, in gods name, would you just go and insult someone who's just giving you advice ? Alex, do you know what 'advice' is ? SHE, btw, not he, tried to help you. The :autism: is huge in this one, I see.

It's a big reason why his pity posts don't work with me; he's that much of an ungrateful shit.

 

[Yeeb-Renzo]

Wow. I thought Alex was being rather rude the time I posted Screenshots of the Stream, but oh was I wrong. That is not okay if he wants to be taken seriously by everyone. Why, in gods name, would you just go and insult someone who's just giving you advice ? Alex, do you know what 'advice' is ? SHE, btw, not he, tried to help you. The :autism: is huge in this one, I see.

He really has not learned that much from the Mike Z incident has he? Except this time he’s blaming the “haters and shit talkers” and even his own game for his intense amount of stress and uses it to beg for even more asspats.

 

[lolnope]

News Flash: That 2019 release estimate was actually the best-case scenario.

https://www.reddit.com/r/yandere_simulator/comments/7wz0ke/comment/du5e27o

Apparently, if Alex is going to keep all of his promises, then the game will release in 2021! Add a few “unforeseen circumstances” and that will bump it up to 2022 or 2023.

Basically, this game isn’t going to be finished for 4-5 years unless he decides to copy and paste Osana into the game nine times.

 

[princess13456789]

News Flash: That 2019 release estimate was actually the best-case scenario.

https://www.reddit.com/r/yandere_simulator/comments/7wz0ke/comment/du5e27o

Apparently, if Alex is going to keep all of his promises, then the game will release in 2021! Add a few “unforeseen circumstances” and that will bump it up to 2022 or 2023.

Basically, this game isn’t going to be finished for 4-5 years unless he decides to copy and paste Osana into the game nine times.

Expected lazy Alex to do this.

Not happening in years.

 

[Yeeb-Renzo]

News Flash: That 2019 release estimate was actually the best-case scenario.

https://www.reddit.com/r/yandere_simulator/comments/7wz0ke/comment/du5e27o

Apparently, if Alex is going to keep all of his promises, then the game will release in 2021! Add a few “unforeseen circumstances” and that will bump it up to 2022 or 2023.

Basically, this game isn’t going to be finished for 4-5 years unless he decides to copy and paste Osana into the game nine times.

Literally almost 10 years in development, and there’s going to be nothing good to show off from it. Reeeeally hope that when his tweenage fanbase grows up, they’ll finally be mature enough to actually see through his bullshit.

 

[Ido]

This game is so boring you can't even make a trailer for it passable.

 

[Colloid]

News Flash: That 2019 release estimate was actually the best-case scenario.

https://www.reddit.com/r/yandere_simulator/comments/7wz0ke/comment/du5e27o

Apparently, if Alex is going to keep all of his promises, then the game will release in 2021! Add a few “unforeseen circumstances” and that will bump it up to 2022 or 2023.

Basically, this game isn’t going to be finished for 4-5 years unless he decides to copy and paste Osana into the game nine times.

Why does he act like it's impossible to start off with a bare-bones option first and then add all of the extra stuff later? Is his spaghetti code really that restrictive or is he just that conceited about his development plan. This way he'd make both the people who want option 1 and 2 happy.

 

[coachmuppet]

This guy should just cancel the game, give the project to someone else, or open source it.

Afterwards, what he can do is learn Python, read the Ren'Py documentation, change his OL name to "Eva-senPy", dust off that slave fan-fic, and make that shit into a visual novel. Since he more about story than actual gameplay, that's something eva can handle without getting stressed out, and he can sperg all he wants in his fetish writing.

He can even get mulberry to draw some "disproportionate body features, only one perspective angle, piss poor understanding of tone/shading, use of bland colors, every character has a female face, sick fuck fetish outlet, hayao "anime was a mistake" miyazaki was right, generic" animu characters.

But then, I would feel sorry for the Python community when eva takes a shit on the PEP20.

 

[princess13456789]

This guy should just cancel the game, give the project to someone else, or open source it.

Afterwards, what he can do is learn Python, read the Ren'Py documentation, change his OL name to "Eva-senPy", dust off that slave fan-fic, and make that shit into a visual novel. Since he more about story than actual gameplay, that's something eva can handle without getting stressed out, and he can sperg all he wants in his fetish writing.

He can even get mulberry to draw some "disproportionate body features, only one perspective angle, piss poor understanding of tone/shading, use of bland colors, every character has a female face, sick fuck fetish outlet, hayao "anime was a mistake" miyazaki was right, generic" animu characters.

But then, I would feel sorry for the Python community when eva takes a shit on the PEP20.

It'll take a year for Alex just to make a visual Novel.

 

[Diesel Boogaloo]

Archiving the whole thread: http://archive.is/xtVSb

He won't make it to those deadlines without reevaluting his gamedev approach. Most fans who got into the fandom when the game was most popular (2015-2016) will get bored and new ones won't arrive. And the game is looking to be shit when it comes out.

 

[almaden]

This game is so boring you can't even make a trailer for it passable.

Ow the edge.
This reminds me: there was a time when some 14-year-old Croatian girl made a decent animated “trailer” for Yan Sim in about a month. It was no masterpiece, but it kind of disproved Alex’s statement that making an animated intro for a game would be too time consuming and expensive.

Spoiler: Video in question:

 

[Slap47]

Expected lazy Alex to do this.
View attachment 381443
Not happening in years.

The patreon donations will run too low for his liking and he'll poop out a garbage product that looks extremely similar to what we've already seen.

When it's done is an irrelevant question because he isn't planning on finishing it.

 

[Diesel Boogaloo]

The patreon donations will run too low for his liking and he'll poop out a garbage product that looks extremely similar to what we've already seen.

Since Graphtreon data got reliable, by the half of a month the pledges for YandereDev were always higher than 45 days prior (i.e. on the day of the penultimate monthly drop).
I know it's tomorrow, but it looks that it won't be the case this month.

Spoiler

Now I feel like some bitcoin speculator.

Spoiler

Anyone wanna invest in some yandere beanie babies?

 

[KlusterCurleyBrow]

fftopic:So Alex and I got into a bit of a spat on the Discord, but Alex did apologize. I was going to drop it and not post on here, but the server founded decided to basically blackball me when I asked that Alex receive a warning for being so rude for no reason.

Spoiler: Lots of Screenshots

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Now today the founder decided to strip me of my VIP role and claimed that I was "strawmanning" when I pointed it out. I was going to not mention the issue above, but the Discord is going to shit really quickly. The founder claimed he would speak to Alex about following the rules, but I highly doubt he will. He also said:

Spoiler: More Screenshots

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Ouch. Alex ought to avoid chat rooms if he can't control his outbursts.

Alex is a major factor in this hell he's created for himself, but the one thing I can understand his disgruntlement with is when he said, "I know exactly what you'd fucking say if I was to take a vacation... ...'What a lazy piece of shit, taking vacation when he hasn't made enough progress!'" I don't necessarily agree with that in terms of you specifically, @MaddieNolan. I'm not in your head so I'm not going to pretend like I'd know if his assumption is right. But when I first was browsing the Alex's KF thread many months ago, I would see instances where that would happen. A bunch of users would say, "What an idiot Alex is for not doing X!" and then if he were to later do that thing, they'd rake him over the coals by saying he should've done the opposite. I don't see that a lot though. If I felt this thread was more unfair than fair, I wouldn't be here.

Ow the edge.
This reminds me: there was a time when some 14-year-old Croatian girl made a decent animated “trailer” for Yan Sim in about a month. It was no masterpiece, but it kind of disproved Alex’s statement that making an animated intro for a game would be too time consuming and expensive.

Spoiler: Video in question:

If that's what a 14-year-old kid could do for free in a month, he could probably find a fan to make a more refined version just by chucking $1k at them. There's really no excuse not to do it, unless he simply didn't want a cool animu trailer.

Also when I was looking through related videos, I found this: "Oh, shit!" (Very obviously dubbed in post-production.)

 

[princess13456789]

Since Graphtreon data got reliable, by the half of a month the pledges for YandereDev were always higher than 45 days prior (i.e. on the day of the penultimate monthly drop).
I know it's tomorrow, but it looks that it won't be the case this month.
View attachment 381517

Spoiler

Now I feel like some bitcoin speculator.

Spoiler

Anyone wanna invest in some yandere beanie babies?

Seems like the graph is going up and down.

 

[Diesel Boogaloo]

Seems like the graph is going up and down.

The main thing you need to keep in mind when reading Graphtreon charts is that Patreon processes pledges at the end of the month. This means that there will be a sharp drop at the end of the month and then a steady increase throughout the month, followed by another drop and so on.
To analyse any trends, you need to focus on the monthly dips, because that's what Alex is actually getting (minus Patreon's share and taxes, obviously).
You can use the growth rate between the dips to judge the spontaneous interest in the creator, which may not actually turn into actual monetary support, but still indicates that the word of mouth is working.
In this case however, it's not working any more.

As a side note: I checked some other random gaming creators on Graphtreon and it looks like other graphs have much smaller dips. Maybe Alex attracts an audience that inputs their credit card data first and thinks second?

 

[DespotCTM]

Ow the edge.
This reminds me: there was a time when some 14-year-old Croatian girl made a decent animated “trailer” for Yan Sim in about a month. It was no masterpiece, but it kind of disproved Alex’s statement that making an animated intro for a game would be too time consuming and expensive.

Spoiler: Video in question:

Sad thing is the video looks way more interesting. It gives the setting, the characters in question and the reason everything happens

Hell it even hints at a personality for Ayano and the rest of the 'cast' without it being supah3dgy5u.

 

[Colloid]

As a side note: I checked some other random gaming creators on Graphtreon and it looks like other graphs have much smaller dips. Maybe Alex attracts an audience that inputs their credit card data first and thinks second?

I've definitely noticed this too. Between every patreon account I've been involved with, his is the most extreme with short-term support.

These are what normal Patreon stats look like:

Note: The guy below hid their total earnings back in August which is why the green line stops short.

As you can see everyone has at least a little loss towards the end of the month, but good projects still have a clear, upward trend in spite of this. Meanwhile Alex has never been truly stable (no doubt because the parent's of his tween fandom realize what their kids are really doing with their cash and cancel the transaction before the month's over). Now we sit back and watch as the numbers fall, dragging what's left of Alex's professionalism and sanity along with it.