- Joined
- Oct 4, 2017
I never realised it that way. Now I have to tell my Wife and my 2 Russian wives in the basement that our marriage is a sham.
Plagued Nice Guys
- Thread starter Cosmos
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2018
He didn't really react poorly though
He didn't complain about how she hooked up with other guys instead of a "perfect gentlemen" it was just pointing out how her relationships turned out bad
There's a difference between having negative emotions about being rejected and being a "nice guy"
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2017
He himself characterized his response as "flipping out" and even felt the need to apologize for it. This is even according to his own version of events.
Then when he apologized, he again pressed her to date him in spite of having already been told "no."
He called her a "ghetto trash skank" for her relationship choices involving other guys and not him, literally years after briefly interacting with her and being rejected. For him to investigate her relationships over this time, and feel compelled to refer to her as a "skank" when reminiscing about this even today, is obsession. It is not healthy or normal.
I agree. But perhaps you would like to further delineate what you consider that difference to be.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2018
It doesn't matter what he said,in what world is "have a nice life" "flipping out" it's bitter but it is by no means "flipping out"
That's not the same as saying "she's going after them and not a true gentlemen like me" it's just pointing out that her relationships don't look to good so (to him) he dodged a bullet(although it's more like a bullet dodged him) it really didn't come off as him comparing himself to them
It would be "Nice Guys™" if he said something similar to "she wouldn't have such a rocky relationship if she chose me!" or "Those guys were total douchbags how did they get her but not me" or if he "flipped out" more than just saying "have a nice life" and started spewing insults.
He might be a creep,but I really don't think he's a "nice guy"
grumbleBum
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2017
When he says he “flipped out”, that implies that he felt very angry or upset and reacted in a way which he found embarrassing later on.
Calling her a ghetto trash skank implies that he held her responsible for managing his own feelings of anger or frustration or inadequacy and her failure to do so gave him the perceived right to belittle her and cause her pain in return.
She is not responsible for his hurt feelings. She has no responsibilities towards him other than basic courtesy. He is entitled to feel his feelings, but not to expect another person to fix them for him. He was throwing a tantrum because he had an emotional booboo and she didn’t kiss it better. That is exactly the entitled Nice Guy attitude which we have been laughing at.
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2015
I don't know if this counts but I just received this on my professional facebook page...
I haven't used my pof account in years, you'd think me not responding is a sign not to contact me.
I haven't used my pof account in years, you'd think me not responding is a sign not to contact me.
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2017
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2018
There is nothing wrong with FEELING angry,negative feelings aren't automatically negative it all has to do with how you express them,it's impossible to know if all he said was really that bad since we don't know exactly what he said
You're looking way too deep into it,insulting someone is not "holding them responsible for your own feelings" that doesn't even make sense
Where are you even getting this from? nowhere is he "expecting another person to fix them for him"
Found another person misusing the term
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2017
Tell us all how Stacy broke your heart and left you for Chad Thundercock. We're all ears!
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2013
That's refreshingly honest at least. Was there a second message? Something like "Seriously though I think your torso would be perfect for the womanskin suit I'm making"
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2018
So if you don't think that literally everyone on the planet is a "nice guy" then you're a "nice guy"
OK.
grumbleBum
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2017
Like I said, he is entitled to his feelings. He has every right to feel bad that he can’t have what he wants. If he thinks she’s a skank because she made him feel bad, even though she didn’t actually do anything wrong, then he’s holding her responsible for his feelings. The language he uses to express his disappointed entitlement is beside the point.
What’s your beef with this, anyway? Seems to be hitting a nerve.
What’s your beef with this, anyway? Seems to be hitting a nerve.
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2017
No, I'm saying you are a Nice Guy. Your defensiveness over another Nice Guy's creepy behavior is the evidence for that. You're taking white knighting him way too personally, which leads me to suspect you identify with him. Nowhere did I say every guy was a Nice Guy, or that you should think everyone is a Nice Guy; I just called you out as one. Trying to put words into my mouth doesn't work.
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- Joined
- Feb 17, 2018
That's some pretty shit evidence
I never defended his behavior,I just said he wasn't a "nice guy"
He never said that,the post was (I think) saying that based off whatever he saw on her facebook,the content must have made him think she was a skank
Also I don't have any beef,this just didn't seem like an instance of him being a "nice guy"
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2017
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- Joined
- Feb 17, 2018
Uh huh.
These aren't defending certain things
These are claiming he didn't do certain things
"He didn't complain about how she hooked up with other guys instead of a "perfect gentlemen" it was just pointing out how her relationships turned out bad"
He didn't
"There is nothing wrong with FEELING angry"
There isn't,there's a difference between FEELING angry and BEING angry
"insulting someone is not "holding them responsible for your own feelings""
It isn't
None of these are me "defending him" these are me claiming he didn't do it at all
I never said "it's ok to hold them responsible for your own feelings" that would be defending it
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2017
What kind of line was that last sentence though?
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2017
You are sooooo defensive about this. Why? Why this overwhelming need to white knight someone else in the thread? Why not let him defend himself? This is why I'm saying you're a Nice Guy. They always defend other Nice Guys' behavior as 'not that bad' because they do it themselves.
He didn't even date the girl, got turned down, got butthurt, lashed out, apologized long after, asked for another chance after she already told him no, got turned down again, and is now creeping on her page years later calling her a 'ghetto trash skank' because she's been in some bad relationships. That's classic Nice Guy behavior. So is yours.
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- Joined
- Feb 17, 2018
Nice of you to dodge my entire post just to say the same exact thing
I didn't have an overwhelming need I just responded saying that I didn't think that particular instance was a "nice guy"
"If you defend someone who I think is (x) then you must be (x)"
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2017
Nice of you to dodge my entire post just to say the same exact thing
I didn't have an overwhelming need I just responded saying that I didn't think that particular instance was a "nice guy"
"If you defend someone who I think is (x) then you must be (x)"
There you go putting words in my mouth again. But I've chatted off topic with you long enough. Hope you get over your rage at Stacy someday so you can have a functional relationship!