DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Done]

If he quits NNK2 it won't be because of the difficulty. I'm not sure where people are getting that it's some difficult game; dodging is in it but you don't "have" to do so because the game is NOT calibrated for such. Phil isn't THAT terrible at games.

The nigga managed to fail numerous tutorials, yes you heard me right, he regularly fails at fucking tutorials.

No matter how forgiving or easy the game is, Phil will always find a way to fail it, he is the 1st and only volunteer game QA tester.

 

[neger psykolog]

The nigga managed to fail numerous tutorials, yes you heard me right, he regularly fails at fucking tutorials.

No matter how forgiving or easy the game is, Phil will always find a way to fail it, he is the 1st and only volunteer game QA tester.

That's why he'd actually get hired as a playtester or even maybe a QA tester.
It's like movie test audiences, they're not hired for being intelligent. They're hired for trying to play games in ways that no one ever thought were possible.

Test audiences hate movies that they don't understand. They whine about maps that they can't navigate. They criticize stories that they don't get.

He's perfect for that. You couldn't ask for a more ideal employee. As soon as they hired him, they'd finally have a playtester so stupid, that hates every single game that they'd make sure to dumb down all future releases appropriately.

Guaranteed that if the game industry had the foresight to hire someone as stupid as DSP 10 years ago we'd only have games with regenerating health, autosaves and no complex inventory systems...

 

[PieceofShet]

That's why he'd actually get hired as a playtester or even maybe a QA tester.
It's like movie test audiences, they're not hired for being intelligent. They're hired for trying to play games in ways that no one ever thought were possible.

Test audiences hate movies that they don't understand. They whine about maps that they can't navigate. They criticize stories that they don't get.

He's perfect for that. You couldn't ask for a more ideal employee. As soon as they hired him, they'd finally have a playtester so stupid, that hates every single game that they'd make sure to dumb down all future releases appropriately.

Guaranteed that if the game industry had the foresight to hire someone as stupid as DSP 10 years ago we'd only have games with regenerating health, autosaves and no complex inventory systems...

Except... i think... playtesters and QA testers play a game for a looong time, not just 1 or 2 sessions. Today's dsp HATE GAMING. He hates it. He couldnt do it.

 

[MMX]

Why would he ragequit Far Cry 5? It's a braindead shooter with large potential for side content if he feels like just reading cheers, it seems like the perfect game for him.

Personally I don't see a rage quit coming but it's going to be a repeat of farcry primal.
Beat the story mode and declare it done regardless of the amount of side content available.
It's pretty much Phil standard go to for ubisoft stuff - bare minimum and move along to the next AAA title.

Side bet - he's going to do the same faux outrage against non pc attitude he did during his mafia 3 playthrough whilst being his usual toxic self.

 

[neger psykolog]

Except... i think... playtesters and QA testers play a game for a looong time, not just 1 or 2 sessions. Today's dsp HATE GAMING. He hates it. He couldnt do it.

QA testers do play for a long time, but normal playtesters just play the game once or twice. They don't have some special technical ability and are just what you expect your regular customers to be. You just see how they try to use it.

This kind of explains how stupid a playtester generally is. You want them to be this stupid so that they point out small issues with design and layout that you might not notice after playing through 1000 times:

QA testers typically have a more hands on approach than "just playing the game" and try to go to lengths to bug the game out by jumping in areas they're not supposed to and spamming stuff until the game breaks. QA testers actually have to write stuff and play through areas several times with different weapons/skills to make sure "everything" works well.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Except... i think... playtesters and QA testers play a game for a looong time, not just 1 or 2 sessions. Today's dsp HATE GAMING. He hates it. He couldnt do it.

Yeah, if given the choice, DSP wouldn't pick up another video game in his life if it meant being paid the same amount of money from idiots to fund his make believe "baller" lifestyle.

QA testers do play for a long time, but normal playtesters just play the game once or twice. They don't have some special technical ability and are just what you expect your regular customers to be. You just see how they try to use it.

This kind of explains how stupid a playtester generally is. You want them to be this stupid so that they point out small issues with design and layout that you might not notice after playing through 1000 times:

QA testers typically have a more hands on approach than "just playing the game" and try to go to lengths to bug the game out by jumping in areas they're not supposed to and spamming stuff until the game breaks. QA testers actually have to write stuff and play through areas several times with different weapons/skills to make sure "everything" works well.

The problem with Phil trying to be a playtester is that he legitimately fails to understand basic controls. There'd be no telling what he was whining about was an actual problem with the game or an actual problem with his ability to perceive how to acomplish simple tasks.

 

[neger psykolog]

The problem with Phil trying to be a playtester is that he legitimately fails to understand basic controls. There'd be no telling what he was whining about was an actual problem with the game or an actual problem with his ability to perceive how to acomplish simple tasks.

That's the point.
That's exactly why in a lot of games when you're going around the same area for items for a while it'll start hinting at what you should be doing.

Like DSP's infamous crouch jump moment:

Your playtesters are so stupid that some of them would get caught in similar areas, so if enough of them did, you'd probably make the crouch + jump tooltip pop up.



Just as I wrote this post I went back into a PC game I was playing.
I'm half way through the game and while its loading it displays a fucking tooltip:

"HINT: Press [SPACE] to Jump"

 

[MMX]

That's the point.
That's exactly why in a lot of games when you're going around the same area for items for a while it'll start hinting at what you should be doing.

Like DSP's infamous crouch jump moment:

Your playtesters are so stupid that some of them would get caught in similar areas, so if enough of them did, you'd probably make the crouch + jump tooltip pop up.

Or his inability to kick in the dark souls series
Because obviously Phil was doing it right but it just wasn't coming out and everyone else just mashes it

 

[Clop]

Phil wouldn't make any sense as a playtester. Playtesters are like retarded gerbils (in a game-skill sense) that you observe to find out how far you can get something with the IQ of a dead rock in a maze. Nobody wants an retarded gerbil that keeps telling you you're doing your job wrong and there's nothing it could do because you don't know how to build a video game maze correctly.

Phil might be as skilled as the average playtester, but it's problematic when he thinks he's more skilled than the average video game developer.

 

[clownpiss]

if kat is working a normal job now and he barely gets to see her as he puts it why is he taking off on friday instead of saturday or sunday?

 

[OneDaySon]

The list of games released in 2018 that have had some sort of attraction and gets some sort of views on Twitch and Youtube, they're not big AAA releases, some aren't even A-tier releases but they're decent games that have gotten recognition that he could play and people would watch, seeing as how DSP keeps saying there's "No games out":
Digimon Cyber Sleuth - Hacker's Memory.
Subnautica
Iconoclasts
Dragonball FighterZ
Monster Hunter: World
Dissidia Final Fantasy NT
UFC 3
Shadow of the Colossus
Civilisation 6
Rust
Dynasty Warriors 9
Kingdom Come
Owlboy
Secret of Mana
Metal Gear Survive
Fe
Armored Warfare
Warhammer Vermintide
Scribblenauts Showdown
Burnout Paradise Remastered
Assassins Creed Rogue Remastered
Attack on Titan 2

Games coming out for the rest of March and April which he claims there's "absolutely none":
Sea of Thieves
Valkyria Chronicles 4
A Way Out
Detective Pikachu
Ni No Kuni 2
Far Cry 5
Long Gone Days
Yakuza 6
God of War
Dark Rose Valkyrie.

Updating this since it got some responses and Sea of Thieves came out with the games he played out of this entire list:
Dragonball FighterZ (Ragequit)
Monster Hunter: World (BETA ONLY)
Dissidia Final Fantasy NT (BETA ONLY, BOUGHT FULL GAME, NEVER PLAYED)
UFC 3 (Bored quit)
Shadow of the Colossus
Secret of Mana (Ragequit)
Burnout Paradise Remastered (Bored quit)
Sea of Thieves (Wants to be contrarian quit)

Congrats on completing one full game this year DSP.

 

[neger psykolog]

Phil wouldn't make any sense as a playtester. Playtesters are like exceptional gerbils (in a game-skill sense) that you observe to find out how far you can get something with the IQ of a dead rock in a maze. Nobody wants an exceptional gerbil that keeps telling you you're doing your job wrong and there's nothing it could do because you don't know how to build a video game maze correctly.

Phil might be as skilled as the average playtester, but it's problematic when he thinks he's more skilled than the average video game developer.

But they actually want people to be vocal. It's the same thing with "screening audiences" for movies:

You want people who are:

• Dumb
• Stupid
• Morons
• Opinionated
• Think they're right about everything
• Think their opinion matters

Then you take a really good movie, from a director who has poured his heart and soul into his creation and you actually listen to idiots and cut 90% of the movie based upon their feedback.

A good example is the movie Leon in which they cut out a bunch of shit because the test audiences couldn't deal with the idea of a teenaged girl exploring her sexuality:
http://variety.com/1996/film/reviews/leon-version-integrale-1200446098/

 

[Clop]

But they actually want people to be vocal. It's the same thing with "screening audiences" for movies:

You want people who are:

• Dumb
• Stupid
• Morons
• Opinionated
• Think they're right about everything
• Think their opinion matters

Then you take a really good movie, from a director who has poured his heart and soul into his creation and you actually listen to idiots and cut 90% of the movie based upon their feedback.

A good example is the movie Leon in which they cut out a bunch of shit because the test audiences couldn't deal with the idea of a teenaged girl exploring her sexuality:
http://variety.com/1996/film/reviews/leon-version-integrale-1200446098/

Story-wise? Yes. Agreed. But gameplay-wise? No, that one I'd disagree with. With story you always hear mewling shits complaining if the ending isn't a happy one (thank god for directors' cuts) but with gameplay it's about trying to hit the rats' pleasure receptors with all sorts of 'DING!' and "WOW YOU'RE AWESOME" and heavenly choirs descending on you with radiant light. A playtester doesn't even know to want a massive orchestral loop to celebrate their ascension to level 2.

The commentary-clip from earlier with the turn to the right in the tunnel? That's not necessarily an important thing to cut out, just a looping tunnel. It's not an axe to the story or dumbing down the game's mechanics, it's just turning the game more linear in a game that's supposed to be linear anyway. Games and movies are tested differently.

 

[BrunoMattei]

QA testers do play for a long time, but normal playtesters just play the game once or twice. They don't have some special technical ability and are just what you expect your regular customers to be. You just see how they try to use it.

This kind of explains how stupid a playtester generally is. You want them to be this stupid so that they point out small issues with design and layout that you might not notice after playing through 1000 times:

QA testers typically have a more hands on approach than "just playing the game" and try to go to lengths to bug the game out by jumping in areas they're not supposed to and spamming stuff until the game breaks. QA testers actually have to write stuff and play through areas several times with different weapons/skills to make sure "everything" works well.

I do remember that some time after the infamous Crouch Jump incident. For reference:

The Black Mesa team did eventually remove the requirement to Crouch Jump. I don't know if I agree with that change.

 

[neger psykolog]

Story-wise? Yes. Agreed. But gameplay-wise? No, that one I'd disagree with. With story you always hear mewling shits complaining if the ending isn't a happy one (thank god for directors' cuts) but with gameplay it's about trying to hit the rats' pleasure receptors with all sorts of 'DING!' and "WOW YOU'RE AWESOME" and heavenly choirs descending on you with radiant light. A playtester doesn't even know to want a massive orchestral loop to celebrate their ascension to level 2.

The commentary-clip from earlier with the turn to the right in the tunnel? That's not necessarily an important thing to cut out, just a looping tunnel. It's not an axe to the story or dumbing down the game's mechanics, it's just turning the game more linear in a game that's supposed to be linear anyway. Games and movies are tested differently.

It probably really depends on the type of game and the developer. Not all games have the same audience or try to get broad appeal like others.

But for a huge game from a big studio where they're aiming for hundreds of millions of dollars, they will definitely change gameplay elements to appeal to a larger audience. Especially when its someone like Activision or EA where their stock price is affected, they will do anything to make more money.

 

[Done]

Phil wouldn't make any sense as a playtester. Playtesters are like exceptional gerbils (in a game-skill sense) that you observe to find out how far you can get something with the IQ of a dead rock in a maze. Nobody wants an exceptional gerbil that keeps telling you you're doing your job wrong and there's nothing it could do because you don't know how to build a video game maze correctly.

Phil might be as skilled as the average playtester, but it's problematic when he thinks he's more skilled than the average video game developer.

Actually that's the whole point of QA testing, to have peepul who can tell your devs that their designs and controls need to be dumbed down a touch, not necessarily make the game less difficult, but make it more intuitive to your average rando gamer.

Phil would be seriously great at this job, the devs will hate his guts, but that won't matter.

The Black Mesa team did eventually remove the requirement to Crouch Jump. I don't know if I agree with that change.

That actually makes sense, because if you look at the visuals of the area itself, it's clear that (visually) there's enough height clearance for a normal jump, but the game seemingly arbitrarily wants you to crouch jump, I didn't play either Black Mesa or Half-Life in the 1st place, but I dare say that Phil was actually justified in fucking up so much, doesn't make it any less hilarious of course.

 

[Keystone]

That's why he'd actually get hired as a playtester or even maybe a QA tester.
It's like movie test audiences, they're not hired for being intelligent. They're hired for trying to play games in ways that no one ever thought were possible.

Test audiences hate movies that they don't understand. They whine about maps that they can't navigate. They criticize stories that they don't get.

He's perfect for that. You couldn't ask for a more ideal employee. As soon as they hired him, they'd finally have a playtester so stupid, that hates every single game that they'd make sure to dumb down all future releases appropriately.

Guaranteed that if the game industry had the foresight to hire someone as stupid as DSP 10 years ago we'd only have games with regenerating health, autosaves and no complex inventory systems...

View attachment 409729

It's funny because Metokur said basically the same thing when he was commentating over one of Phil's streams. I'm 99% certain it was the Starwars Battlefront one where Phil also woke a sick Leanna to make him dinner. It's true, too. Exceptional individuals like Phil are the reason you have dumbed down mechanics and in-game tips/tutorials that hold your hand and treat you like a child with Downs.

I do remember that some time after the infamous Crouch Jump incident. For reference:

The Black Mesa team did eventually remove the requirement to Crouch Jump. I don't know if I agree with that change.

fftopic: While Phil is still a complete tard for not figuring that out (or playing the tutorial to begin with), the jumping and crouching in Black Mesa was a bit lackluster and stiff feeling compared to other Source games, namely Half-Life 2. It felt like Gordon had a 50 lb. weight vest on top of the HEV in BM. Did they ever tweak that? fftopic:

 

[PieceofShet]

if kat is working a normal job now and he barely gets to see her as he puts it why is he taking off on friday instead of saturday or sunday?

Maybe she is doing a sunday to thursday in a warehouse somewhere.. dont rush to conclusion dude. Here, take this olive branch.

 

[neger psykolog]

That actually makes sense, because if you look at the visuals of the area itself, it's clear that (visually) there's enough height clearance for a normal jump, but the game seemingly arbitrarily wants you to crouch jump, I didn't play either Black Mesa or Half-Life in the 1st place, but I dare say that Phil was actually justified in fucking up so much, doesn't make it any less hilarious of course.

The crouch jump thing is a bit unique because its not easy to do on a console and Phil is a console gamer. It's not really essential for most PC games, and since games started being released on both console + PC you see it less and less than before.

There is actually more to the "crouch jump" mechanic than just shown in that video, its actually the base version of what you can do in the game until you get a jump module, which you then use with the same keys to jump quite far. If you ever played Half Life multiplayer then you'd know how essential it can be.

Black Mesa is also a bit weird because not many people have said "I'm not going to play that shit until they do an HD remake". Its a staple PC game, it plays on almost any computer, still looks pretty good, still plays really well and never really needed a remake (depending on who you ask). It can also already handle almost all resolutions including 4K with almost no fucking around and it has no FPS cap like many console games that get remastered (meaning if you play it on a potato computer it will run at like 600000 FPS already)

(btw if anyone is wondering why shit is so "kinda offtopic" in here its because DSP has a day off today)

 

[Noob-Noob]

Hope Phil is enjoying his day off. He's gonna wake up to this drama tomorrow.