Artcow WogglebugLoveProductions / Cynthia Hanson / Cherie Anne Hapney - One Womanchild's Fruitless Quest to Make Her Cockroach Husbando a Household Name

[The Knife]

SO I SKIPPED TO CHAPTER FIFTEEN FOR THE "SHOCKING" TWIST.

Spoiler: So help me, I thought I was joking about them making out...

This was the very first time [Terry Sue] held [the Wogglebug] in her arms. The first thing she couldn't help but observe was ow very frail his outer body actually was. Almost as though she could barely feel him in her arms. She held him very tightly, but was fighting the urge to hug him tighter for fear she would hurt him physically.

"There there," she whispered soothingly. "I've got you...just let it all out...just let it go...it's all right now...I've got you now...you are all right with me now."

His sobs went on like a torrential downpour from beneaht a thunderstorm. She cuddled and caressed his weak and frail body as it trembled rather violently with the vibration of his outpouring torment. He lay pressed against her with the tears from his eyes rapidly falling against her, thus beginning to quickly soak her upper clothing. She laid her hand against the back of his head and cradled him all the more closely and tenderly.

Terry...felt her heart overflowing rapidly with her love for him. For who he really was, and still was on the inside. She could see this now, just under the surface.

"I know..." she whispered in tones only he could hear. "i know...how you feel...I've felt the same way all my life also...That is why I love you! I know you are inwardly all as wise and lovable as I can feel that you are...and you know you are also! This is who you are. This is the real you. That is why I love you so much!"

As she spoke, the Wogglebug as he laid in her arms began to slowly move his arms more upward and around her own body. His sobs went on, but they began slowly to become less agonized and pained. His breathing became more steady and gentle as it seemed to be regulating to its natural way again.

Terry began to really cuddle him in the ways a child cuddles with a beloved plush toy. She closed her eyes ever tighter and began remembering in her mind's eye very vividly all of her dreams she'd had of him from when she was a child and onward [...]

But now as she cuddled and caressed him in her arms like a child while still being a grown woman [...] Terry suddenly felt the Wogglebug becoming warm in her arms, and also felt a very slight tingling sensation all about him also. A bit startled, she opened her eyes. For now the Wogglebug had started to glow a very soft shade of pale gold all about him. She tenderly moved her arms over around his back and moved him slowly into a position to where she could look him in his face.

[...]Then as he gazed up into her own eyes as she looked at him in his most vulnerable state, all he could see in hers was her boundless love and respect for him just for who he really was on the inside.

Terry suddenly gasped in shock and astonishment, but certainly with great delight and ecstasy at the same time. {...]Terry was in a state of absolute bliss with the thrill of this moment. All of time seemed to have completely stood still right then.

"Goodness! I never knew how delightful it can be to feel so much humility...and altogether so much love...all at once!" he said with awe.

 

[Dilbertmann]

SO I SKIPPED TO CHAPTER FIFTEEN FOR THE "SHOCKING" TWIST.

Spoiler: So help me, I thought I was joking about them making out...

This was the very first time [Terry Sue] held [the Wogglebug] in her arms. The first thing she couldn't help but observe was ow very frail his outer body actually was. Almost as though she could barely feel him in her arms. She held him very tightly, but was fighting the urge to hug him tighter for fear she would hurt him physically.

"There there," she whispered soothingly. "I've got you...just let it all out...just let it go...it's all right now...I've got you now...you are all right with me now."

His sobs went on like a torrential downpour from beneaht a thunderstorm. She cuddled and caressed his weak and frail body as it trembled rather violently with the vibration of his outpouring torment. He lay pressed against her with the tears from his eyes rapidly falling against her, thus beginning to quickly soak her upper clothing. She laid her hand against the back of his head and cradled him all the more closely and tenderly.

Terry...felt her heart overflowing rapidly with her love for him. For who he really was, and still was on the inside. She could see this now, just under the surface.

"I know..." she whispered in tones only he could hear. "i know...how you feel...I've felt the same way all my life also...That is why I love you! I know you are inwardly all as wise and lovable as I can feel that you are...and you know you are also! This is who you are. This is the real you. That is why I love you so much!"

As she spoke, the Wogglebug as he laid in her arms began to slowly move his arms more upward and around her own body. His sobs went on, but they began slowly to become less agonized and pained. His breathing became more steady and gentle as it seemed to be regulating to its natural way again.

Terry began to really cuddle him in the ways a child cuddles with a beloved plush toy. She closed her eyes ever tighter and began remembering in her mind's eye very vividly all of her dreams she'd had of him from when she was a child and onward [...]

But now as she cuddled and caressed him in her arms like a child while still being a grown woman [...] Terry suddenly felt the Wogglebug becoming warm in her arms, and also felt a very slight tingling sensation all about him also. A bit startled, she opened her eyes. For now the Wogglebug had started to glow a very soft shade of pale gold all about him. She tenderly moved her arms over around his back and moved him slowly into a position to where she could look him in his face.

[...]Then as he gazed up into her own eyes as she looked at him in his most vulnerable state, all he could see in hers was her boundless love and respect for him just for who he really was on the inside.

Terry suddenly gasped in shock and astonishment, but certainly with great delight and ecstasy at the same time. {...]Terry was in a state of absolute bliss with the thrill of this moment. All of time seemed to have completely stood still right then.

"Goodness! I never knew how delightful it can be to feel so much humility...and altogether so much love...all at once!" he said with awe.

 

[wheat pasta]

SO I SKIPPED TO CHAPTER FIFTEEN FOR THE "SHOCKING" TWIST.

Spoiler: So help me, I thought I was joking about them making out...

This was the very first time [Terry Sue] held [the Wogglebug] in her arms. The first thing she couldn't help but observe was ow very frail his outer body actually was. Almost as though she could barely feel him in her arms. She held him very tightly, but was fighting the urge to hug him tighter for fear she would hurt him physically.

"There there," she whispered soothingly. "I've got you...just let it all out...just let it go...it's all right now...I've got you now...you are all right with me now."

His sobs went on like a torrential downpour from beneaht a thunderstorm. She cuddled and caressed his weak and frail body as it trembled rather violently with the vibration of his outpouring torment. He lay pressed against her with the tears from his eyes rapidly falling against her, thus beginning to quickly soak her upper clothing. She laid her hand against the back of his head and cradled him all the more closely and tenderly.

Terry...felt her heart overflowing rapidly with her love for him. For who he really was, and still was on the inside. She could see this now, just under the surface.

"I know..." she whispered in tones only he could hear. "i know...how you feel...I've felt the same way all my life also...That is why I love you! I know you are inwardly all as wise and lovable as I can feel that you are...and you know you are also! This is who you are. This is the real you. That is why I love you so much!"

As she spoke, the Wogglebug as he laid in her arms began to slowly move his arms more upward and around her own body. His sobs went on, but they began slowly to become less agonized and pained. His breathing became more steady and gentle as it seemed to be regulating to its natural way again.

Terry began to really cuddle him in the ways a child cuddles with a beloved plush toy. She closed her eyes ever tighter and began remembering in her mind's eye very vividly all of her dreams she'd had of him from when she was a child and onward [...]

But now as she cuddled and caressed him in her arms like a child while still being a grown woman [...] Terry suddenly felt the Wogglebug becoming warm in her arms, and also felt a very slight tingling sensation all about him also. A bit startled, she opened her eyes. For now the Wogglebug had started to glow a very soft shade of pale gold all about him. She tenderly moved her arms over around his back and moved him slowly into a position to where she could look him in his face.

[...]Then as he gazed up into her own eyes as she looked at him in his most vulnerable state, all he could see in hers was her boundless love and respect for him just for who he really was on the inside.

Terry suddenly gasped in shock and astonishment, but certainly with great delight and ecstasy at the same time. {...]Terry was in a state of absolute bliss with the thrill of this moment. All of time seemed to have completely stood still right then.

"Goodness! I never knew how delightful it can be to feel so much humility...and altogether so much love...all at once!" he said with awe.

Okay, someone just had an orgasm. and I think it was the author

 

[Jaimas]

I bit the bullet and bought the book.

I barely made it through the Author's Note.

1) DEAR GOD THE FORMATTING. On one page she's double-spacing, the next two are single-spaced, then back to double-spacing. In addition, there's some problem with the coding that causes my e-reader to skip half-paragraphs between pages. This is an occasional problem with Kindle but in this case I believe it's because she didn't both to double-check the formatting before letting it be released.

2) She's trying to use very lofty, elevated syntax, which leads to her throwing around things like "thus" and "therefore" and "unto".

3) She states upfront that she's not writing for the Oz fandom, she hate the Oz fandom, she doesn't care for the Oz fandom, and if the Wogglebug wasn't so irrevocably linked to Oz, she would have nothing to do with that setting at all. In other words, she's telling off the only group of people who would conceivably be interested in reading this book (other than the trolls, of course).

4) Her ultimate goal is to start a Wogglebug fandom completely independent of the idea of Oz.

5) She regurgitates an old literary theory that the Wogglebug represents author L. Frank Baum, who never met a pun he didn't like. Short version: the Wogglebug makes puns; the other characters groan and tell him to shut up. The other characters represent Baum's contemporary critics, who frequently wrote about how Baum's puns marred otherwise humorous books. Therefore (concludes Cynthia) if you're hatin' on the Wogglebug, you're actually hating on Baum, who created the Oz fandom you love so much. In your face, Fandom! She goes on to say how only she is clever enough to have done the research to have discovered this great truth, and that she hopes she's offended the Oz fandom by showing them what hypocrites they are.

4) The reason it took her this long to write the "truth" about the Wogglebug is because she spent the whole first novel honing her literary skills.

As soon as I'm finished reading it, I'm returning this book. Even if I wasn't reading it out of spite, I'd be returning this book for the numerous formatting flaws that make it nearly unreadable. It's plain she's just writing off the top of her head and that she didn't bother to go back and edit.

GodJesus BearChrist, Knife. Sounds like you jumped face-first into R'lyeh on this one. Let's see if I have this damage report accurate:

1. Cannot format worth shit, a facet shared with the likes of Gloria Tesch.

2. Uses archaic syntax in inappropriate/unusual locations just for the purposes of sounding more intelligent; motion fails.

3. Hates the fandom, but has a work which is a splinter of said fandom, whilst at the same time saying that her work represents the only good part of it.

4. Plans to use this work to launch a fandom nobody sane is interested in.

5. Uses an almost-reasonable theory to support her work and give it official clout.... After badmouthing the work it came from in #3, further cementing her as bugfuck (teehee) insane and giving her zero credibility (as if #1-4 weren't evidence already).

6. Spent earlier works diddling about and essentially only made the earlier book(s) to stroke her own ego and try to finance later works.

Good fucking god. She's like some horrid eldritch abomination spawned from the castoffs of creator-driven nonsense artists. We have a bit of Gloria Tesch in here, a little sprinkling of Golden Knight, a dash of Peter Chimaera, a little Chris-Chan, and a pinch of Moleman, just to name a few.

I sense a great potentiality for hilarity in this one.

 

[For The Internet]

Is that you singing??

No. It's from the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Might be in other things as well, but it's a cover of Disturbed's Down With The Sickness.

I have a somewhat encyclopedic knowledge of zombie films, not Disturbed, ha ha. It was a great match to the video though!

 

[Poison_Ivy]

No. It's from the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Might be in other things as well, but it's a cover of Disturbed's Down With The Sickness.

I have a somewhat encyclopedic knowledge of zombie films, not Disturbed, ha ha. It was a great match to the video though!

I never as the remake so that would explain why lmao. Still, that is an amazing cover.

 

[For The Internet]

I never as the remake so that would explain why lmao. Still, that is an amazing cover.

I love that cover too, the swing style works so well (and it goes flawlessly with the Wogglebug's disturbing nature). Romero's Dawn of the Dead is a masterpiece of cinema as far as I am concerned but there were many things I liked about the remake, and this cover was one of the main things. They kind of lost me with the baby, though, even though I like to tell myself it was an homage to Braindead.

 

[OBAMATRON]

SO I SKIPPED TO CHAPTER FIFTEEN FOR THE "SHOCKING" TWIST.

WOW WTF! I was weirded out by how much she loves the Wogglebug, but then I thought she was going to have a graphic sex scene. Biggest wtf of today.

 

[For The Internet]

I read the book on amazon too and my critique is pretty much the same as Knife's. The formatting is all over the place and she has goals that are too lofty for her to reach. Adding 'therefore' or 'thus' to a sentence doesn't lend it class or make the writer sound smarter. It just sounds like she's trying hard to sound lofty, which she is. She can't afford to be dismissing a readymade fanbase, and nor can she afford to be telling fans what they should accept as canon or discard based on her say-so.

She needs to go back to the absolute fundamentals of writing and rebuild this series piece by piece if she ever wants to make any headway with it. She'll also have to dump her posturing and ego at the door as well.

 

[hm yeah]

resumed listening to the knife's reading, finished ch09 and

cynthia hanson likes the feel of spiders in her hair.

canon.

 

[The Knife]

WOW WTF! I was weirded out by how much she loves the Wogglebug, but then I thought she was going to have a graphic sex scene. Biggest wtf of today.

Now that it's not eleven at night and I'm no longer in shock...the actual "shocking twist" is that Terry Sue is watching Wogglebug transform into the more lovable character he was when he was first introduced--essentially a death/resurrection (which isn't exactly dissuading anyone from the Wogglebug-is-Jesus thing).

But I was completely blown away by how sexually charged the language was. This is the language another book would use to describe a softcore sex scene: ecstasy, bliss, mounting excitement, hands moving slowly down bodies, and then a moment of time being suspended. This kind of rich emotive description is nowhere else in the book. At best she says very generic, stereotypical things like "she felt her heart was breaking" or "they were very happy."

Tl; dr: HELLO GROWN-ASS LADY WHO WANTS TO BONE A BUG

 

[hm yeah]

^ sssoooooo.... is there another reading in the works?

Spoiler

do you have a cynthia impression cooked up?

 

[Ronald Gaygun]

Now that it's not eleven at night and I'm no longer in shock...the actual "shocking twist" is that Terry Sue is watching Wogglebug transform into the more lovable character he was when he was first introduced--essentially a death/resurrection (which isn't exactly dissuading anyone from the Wogglebug-is-Jesus thing).

But I was completely blown away by how sexually charged the language was. This is the language another book would use to describe a softcore sex scene: ecstasy, bliss, mounting excitement, hands moving slowly down bodies, and then a moment of time being suspended. This kind of rich emotive description is nowhere else in the book. At best she says very generic, stereotypical things like "she felt her heart was breaking" or "they were very happy."

Tl; dr: HELLO GROWN-ASS LADY WHO WANTS TO BONE A BUG

I'm resisting the urge to show you guys Blowfly Girl right now.

 

[OBAMATRON]

do you have a cynthia impression cooked up?

Microsoft Sam with an auotuner.

 

[Slowboat to China]

The Knife, I salute you. I thought about getting the book but chickened out at the last minute; you pushed on through to bring us the goods. You deserve to be elected Pope of Wogglebuggery.

... or maybe Wogglebugdom instead.

 

[WWWWolf]

I bit the bullet and bought the book.

Stuff of Bravery, right here.

1) DEAR GOD THE FORMATTING.

I know the formatting is shitty because I read the previous ebook. Still... is it worse than George R.R. Martin's formatting? Just curious.

4) Her ultimate goal is to start a Wogglebug fandom completely independent of the idea of Oz.

@WogglebugLover, I have one pretty damn serious question: why don't you just do that?

Look, I'm a fantasy writer. I loved reading about J.R.R. Tolkien's worldbuilding stuff. I love worldbuilding. I started a fantasy world of my own, and in less than an year, I had something interesting thought up. I wanted other people to use my world, but at the same time, I realised that if I could build my own world, then everyone else could do the same. And that's what I've been encouraging everyone to do. Do it. It's fun. It's one of the most awesome hobbies out there. I can see why Tolkien got so enthusiastic about it.

 

[The Knife]

^ sssoooooo.... is there another reading in the works?

Spoiler

do you have a cynthia impression cooked up?

I tried to do a reading! It was murder. I couldn't even get past the author's note.

 

[UltraSonichu]

God damn, that excerpt - is it just me or does Cynthia seem to have one of those weird "comforting" fetishes for the Wogglebug? She seems to always have him crying and the Mary Sue insert comforting him in the most sexually charged way.

 

[wheat pasta]

God damn, that excerpt - is it just me or does Cynthia seem to have one of those weird "comforting" fetishes for the Wogglebug? She seems to always have him crying and the Mary Sue insert comforting him in the most sexually charged way.

Shit, that's kinda disconcerting. :S I legitimately wonder if she, uh, 'gets off' on this...
edit: I mean specifically the whole administering comfort to this poor misunderstood bug-man thing.

 

[Shadow Fox]

Some things from WBL's ff.net account:

She hates Christians, Christianity and religious faith in general, yet likes the Narnia character who is the epitome of unshakeable, unquestioning faith in God. Of course.

People Types [WBL dislikes]: Anyone who has unhealthy obsessions about anything.

Spoiler

ANYONE with ANYTHING in common with Alyssa Kane!

Is that the Dracohumper chick she has such a hateboner for, or some other poor dope who got on her bad side?

I also find it a little disconcerting when grown-ass adults watch nothing but shows aimed at tiny children. I mean I fully understand enjoying cartoons or kid-oriented media, but when literally everything you consume is designed for the under-12 set it doesn't imply "retaining one's childlike innocence" so much as "desperately trying to avoid moving into adulthood at all costs." To me, at least.

And how can she like Tiny Toons but hate Animaniacs? Girl needs to reevaluate her life.