Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

Come to think of it, if you are oldskool, you've got strength, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, charisma, and constitution.

And for Jake, all six of them are dump stats!

What non-dump stat does Jake have?

Just for the hell of it. Here's jake's stats I pulled out of my ass

strength 8, dexterity 7, constitution 9, intelligence 12, wisdom 6, charisma 6 level 5 middle aged human expert

 

[Kosher Dill]

What non-dump stat does Jake have?

Anal circumference. Obviously we've wandered into a game of FATAL if characters this stupid are wandering around.

Also, returning to this: Jake advocates making a huge scene when confronted with wrongthink;

I really wonder if he's ever tried this. It would have to have been on his mom, if so.

 

[Ruin]

Come to think of it, if you are oldskool, you've got strength, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, charisma, and constitution.

And for Jake, all six of them are dump stats!

What non-dump stat does Jake have?

Maybe a 4 or so in luck since he got lucky and landed a parent who doesn't mind his mooching and unemployment at 35+.

 

[Hiragana]

Picking the 1/8 CR Garden Gnome race nuked his stats. That's why he's still in the beginner area of his parent's home. If he was a Goblin or Kobold there's at least a chance he could survive going outside, but a Garden Gnome would die to a stiff wind or another of a few dozen Environmental Hazards.

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

Picking the 1/8 CR Garden Gnome race nuked his stats. That's why he's still in the beginner area of his parent's home. If he was a Goblin or Kobold there's at least a chance he could survive going outside, but a Garden Gnome would die to a stiff wind or another of a few dozen Environmental Hazards.

Maybe some adventurers should explore the house dungeon and see if Jake is still alive. Maybe his ghost is doing all the tweeting with how long and often it does so

 

[Kosher Dill]

Maybe some adventurers should explore the house dungeon and see if Jake is still alive. Maybe his ghost is doing all the tweeting with how long and often it does so

"The door is bound to be trapped. Look, the wall is just made out of sheet rock or something, I'm going in through the wall."
"You swing your axe against the wall. It shears easily through the sheet rock, but behind that wall is another wall of 'The Massive Vs. The Masses', fossilized into granite hardness."

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

"The door is bound to be trapped. Look, the wall is just made out of sheet rock or something, I'm going in through the wall."
"You swing your axe against the wall. It shears easily through the sheet rock, but behind that wall is another wall of 'The Massive Vs. The Masses', fossilized into granite hardness."

Pretty good. In all seriousness though, I'm going to pull this kind of a stunt with my players just to get their reaction in a campaign in august

 

[C3PBRO]

He thinks WoLF is a "wolf in sheep's clothing."

He thinks an openly radical feminist organization called the Women's Liberation Front is wearing "sheep's" clothing. An organization that, among other things, helps train women in how to defend themselves and even disarm attackers is, according to him, trying to be thought of as a "sheep." Agree or disagree with their platform but I don't think anyone should think a "liberation front" is trying to seem harmless.

In addition to this, I think the analogy of a "wolf in sheep's clothing" aligns more closely to a man in a dress trying to appear harmless to gain access to women's spaces.

 

[valis]

'Smug assholes living in bubbles dismissing real concerns' is pure projection, but you know if anyone shouted at Jake he'd claim to be being violently sexually assaulted, probably by lesbians.

How can anyone be so very deluded? It's bewildering.

 

[MyOtherNicknameIsAPun]

Troons hate glinner now?

A reminder, Glinner's most popular work have a woman portrait as a vapid, shoe buying, going insane while on period, unable to comprehend technology, and a fight between a CEO and his trans lover, who is shown as a "passing man in dress" (getting drunk, getting into fights).

How did this man got to be a face of current year feminism is a mystery.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

Jake Alley: "...my expertise..."

 

[Hellfire]

Looks like Jake went to bed maybe around 3 AM, woke up around 1 PM, stayed on Twitter for what looks like at least 8 hours minimum total, with continued use spread over the course of 15 hours.

"This field does not pay as tremendously well as you might think" as If Jake "$20,000-$30,000+ debt from self publishing makeshift insulation" Alley knows what the "field" pays like.


Jake linked his "correctively raped by lesbians" fantasy yet again.


Cow crossover. Jake, who is not transgender and does not even believe GID exists and has no reason to 'transition,' wasn't planning to change his name from Jacob/Jake Lawrence because those would just be "weirdly masculine sounding names." RRREEEEbecca does not even appear to be talking about changing her actual name, just her stupid Twitter handle.

If Jake got a job he could go to GenCon, of course he'd rather sit on Twitter whining that he "can't afford to go" instead.

"Thanks Google for trying to radicalize my son."

No like, no response.



"Back when we were friends"



After sperging out for a few hours he randomly tries to ebeg.


Cow crossover with Kyle Garrett and Aaron Simpson. Jake claims an actor is a "chaser" for wanting to "play a woman at some point in his career."


Jake claims someone who was "banned for life from [Twitter] for" (with nothing after the "for") has "come back on an alt to make violent threats." In typical Jake fashion there is absolutely no context as to who this is supposed to be, and for someone who slaved away (for free) as part of CHELSAY's "Twitter safety partner" scam, you would think he would know how to report an account for ban evasion.

Cow crossover.

"work schedule"

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I find it hard to keep up with Jake. He makes so many face-palmingly stupid posts in a short space of time that I don't even know where to begin. I'll read his first tweet and want to say something, but then he'll say something asinine on a different topic and I want to correct him on that, and by the time I've got to his eighth tweet there's just so much to say that I've got an essay's worth of criticism and I just can't be arsed. It's like the sheer volume of his idiocy makes him immune.

 

[Jaimas]

Is it just me, or has Jake supplanted Nora for all intents and purposes? He was much closer to a definitive goal before failing, he's such an unmitigated prick that he's a joy to watch fail, he manages to be, if anything, more of a miserable jobless failure than Nora Reed, and he's more than one note so he's hilarious to try to watch operate in the adult world. Topping it all off, he has no ability to operate in the Troonersphere he so loves, and his getting outed is a fucking inevitability. He's easy to hate, but good god is he fucking entertaining for all the wrong reasons.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Is it just me, or has Jake supplanted Nora for all intents and purposes? He was much closer to a definitive goal before failing, he's such an unmitigated prick that he's a joy to watch fail, he manages to be, if anything, more of a miserable jobless failure than Nora Reed, and he's more than one note so he's hilarious to try to watch operate in the adult world. Topping it all off, he has no ability to operate in the Troonersphere he so loves, and his getting outed is a fucking inevitability. He's easy to hate, but good god is he fucking entertaining for all the wrong reasons.

I think Nora is at essentially rock bottom. I’m just waiting for her to commit suicide. I see that as the inevitable conclusion to her life.
Jake is interesting because I don’t think he has an endgame. I think eventually he’s going to step on the toes of someone who will expose him as the fraud he is. And that’s what interests me, what happens when Jake crosses a SJW that outs him as the dirt white male he is?

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Is it just me, or has Jake supplanted Nora for all intents and purposes? He was much closer to a definitive goal before failing, he's such an unmitigated prick that he's a joy to watch fail, he manages to be, if anything, more of a miserable jobless failure than Nora Reed, and he's more than one note so he's hilarious to try to watch operate in the adult world. Topping it all off, he has no ability to operate in the Troonersphere he so loves, and his getting outed is a fucking inevitability. He's easy to hate, but good god is he fucking entertaining for all the wrong reasons.

At this point I'd throw both of them in a trash compactor if it meant more Tim Whitbeck content.

 

[Maggots on a Train]

Cow crossover.
View attachment 463532

Hmmm... I wonder why so many troons are randy for poon. It's almost like they are actually heterosexual men or something.

 

[AnOminous]

Is it just me, or has Jake supplanted Nora for all intents and purposes? He was much closer to a definitive goal before failing, he's such an unmitigated prick that he's a joy to watch fail, he manages to be, if anything, more of a miserable jobless failure than Nora Reed, and he's more than one note so he's hilarious to try to watch operate in the adult world.

Almost all of the Noraverse is more interesting than Nora REEEEE herself. Her main significance in the Rat King is being a Judas goat who willingly brings other lolcows to us than in her own personality, which is dull as dishwater. She would otherwise be completely insignificant, as her tedious whining and screeching really has no quality of its own.

Topping it all off, he has no ability to operate in the Troonersphere he so loves, and his getting outed is a fucking inevitability.

He has one piece of insurance on that, and it's that anyone who did it would basically have to admit to reading Kiwi Farms.

The fact is that most of them do and probably anyone who cares about Jake already knows it, unless they're deeply dumb, but I think they just mute him and don't respond to his googleshnging rather than actively outing him.

 

[Von Wolf Demon]

I find it hard to keep up with Jake. He makes so many face-palmingly stupid posts in a short space of time that I don't even know where to begin. I'll read his first tweet and want to say something, but then he'll say something asinine on a different topic and I want to correct him on that, and by the time I've got to his eighth tweet there's just so much to say that I've got an essay's worth of criticism and I just can't be arsed. It's like the sheer volume of his idiocy makes him immune.

Completely relate to this... it's easy to start to get mad at him, then you remember that he is mostly shouting into a vacuum and most of his "followers" likely have him muted and rarely see his posts. I used to think that Hellfire was capturing ALL or most of Jake's Googleshnging (thanks for the wonderful archiving, Hellfire!), but after going direct to Jake's feed a few times, I realized that they were only capturing a fraction of Jake's posts. It was like the difference between a squirt gun fight and getting hit with a fucking fire hose.

The guy is a fucking machine.

Just doing some quick math, he has been tweeting approximately every 12 minutes of every waking hour since joining in 9/14. I suspect there were probably much slower rates during his early months on the platform, so I think it is safe to guess that in recent years, that rate is probably even higher.

 

[pozilei]

lol, what glorious times we're living in:

notice when it was archived

Since Jake used it a lot, it may be a good idea to archive his storify links. Storify is shutting down in May.

Posted on the 9th of January. I archived a bunch of his stuff, sure other kiwis have too.

Jake is such a lazy, useless waste of space he has to rely on linking to stuff kiwis archived now.