Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Maggots on a Train]

I've got to wonder if there's more to it than that.

Why BB-8? Does he do anything R2-D2 can't? Is R2-D2's actor getting too old? It's not like the property needed another cute robot.

Maybe it's about selling the new toy, maybe it's about wanting to use this cool new effect they thought of, but I don't know. There's this overwhelming sense of "Let's get rid of the old characters and replace them with cooler ones!" that wafts from the new trilogy like the odor of my unwashed socks.

Some white guy's attempt to appeal to the urban market.

The thing is: Precisely for the reason that Disney is nothing but a money-hungry, soulless megacorporation that would sell their own grandmother for the right money, I would have never guessed that they'd fuck up a movie this badly for no fucking reason. I would have expected them to coast through a couple movies on nostalgia and vaguely trying a few new things here and there. I did not expect them to essentially remake ANH in a way that shits all over the canon (by retconning the good end of the OT) and then crap out a turd as putrid and rotten as TLJ (in terms of story and characters, that is).

I agree. I predicted that they would treat it like a soulless tween pop show and and insist on including a white male character, white female, black male, black female, Asian male, Asian female, Hispanic male, Hispanic female. Just to have them in there on a marketability basis. I did not expect them to abandon any concept of a plot, just let the characters mill around on screen for ten hours, make sure every soulless token character gets their 15 minutes of screen time, overall film be damned. Now I am amazed that there are Disney shills stupid enough to think this casting is some great societal revolution, and not just a cynical corporate move that has been going on for decades already.

 

[RockVolnutt]

I still think one of TLJ's biggest mistakes was killing off Luke. This could somewhat be corrected if Rey was his daughter, though considering reactions to her and the direction they took I'd more recommend her being a Meetra Surik type, his journey and by extension his family's is a central thing. Going beyond that is perfectly fine but ultimately it serves to give the Skywalker narrative more depth. Basically keep in mind the series was almost "The Adventures of Luke Starkiller: The Star Wars" which should remind you of the serials George Lucas had a boner over.

Currently Star Wars has no main protagonist. Sure, Rey is the protagonist of the Sequel trilogy but she's disconnected from previous stories outside having a copy of Kylo Ren's training floating around in her head. Is the conclusion to this legacy going to be "The nephew kills everyone but it's okay as an autistic desert waifu reminds him that killing is bad"? They should either figure out a way to undo that or at least avoid any big timeskips so Episode 10 can kick off the "Actual Sequel Trilogy" with some unmentioned young adult Skywalker which isn't that unreasonable considering the OT cast is supposed to be in their early 50s right now.

Edit: Disney even refers to the movies as "The Skywalker Saga" which is highly puzzling as (nearly) all of them are dead and failures.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I still think one of TLJ's biggest mistakes was killing off Luke. This could somewhat be corrected if Rey was his daughter, though considering reactions to her and the direction they took I'd more recommend her being a Meetra Surik type, his journey and by extension his family's is a central thing. Going beyond that is perfectly fine but ultimately it serves to give the Skywalker narrative more depth. Basically keep in mind the series was almost "The Adventures of Luke Starkiller: The Star Wars" which should remind you of the serials George Lucas had a boner over.

Currently Star Wars has no main protagonist. Sure, Rey is the protagonist of the Sequel trilogy but she's disconnected from previous stories outside having a copy of Kylo Ren's training floating around in her head. Is the conclusion to this legacy going to be "The nephew kills everyone but it's okay as an autistic desert waifu reminds him that killing is bad"? They should either figure out a way to undo that or at least avoid any big timeskips so Episode 10 can kick off the "Actual Sequel Trilogy" with some unmentioned young adult Skywalker which isn't that unreasonable considering the OT cast is supposed to be in their early 50s right now.

Edit: Disney even refers to the movies as "The Skywalker Saga" which is highly puzzling as (nearly) all of them are dead and failures.

Episode IX will feature Jedi-Ghost Luke telling the Resistance about that one time he went to Shili an shagged a Togruta and now the Resistance has to go and look for his TRUE and HONEST daughter.

 

[The Valeyard]

Episode IX will feature Jedi-Ghost Luke telling the Resistance about that one time he went to Shili an shagged a Togruta and now the Resistance has to go and look for his TRUE and HONEST daughter.

You forgot that Disney's Star Wars only cares about human diversity, not alien diversity so his daughter would be half-black instead.

 

[BScCollateral]

Every time I am reminded of the current state of Disney-led Star Wars I am just outright baffled.

Kennedy had, on paper, every advantage going into this;

...

Yet, somehow, someway she has figured out a way to lose money. How do you do that? Why would you do that? I'm starting to believe its deliberate, that after years of working with George Lucas she just spitefully wishes to destroy Star Wars. If she was just genuinely stupid you would expect that she might make a good decision every now and then just by chance, but whenever presented with a choice she chooses the most destructive option.

I don't think this can be answered without a better sense of what she did on previous projects. Yes, she was a Producer, but how, exactly, did she leave her fingerprints on the films in her (quite impressive) resume? I'm sure her job was more substantial than making coffee, but it's really hard to point to these films and say, "Well, they did X really good." They aren't well written, they aren't coherently edited, with Solo they don't look particularly good, especially since it's 2018 and all films look amazing, and they sure as hell aren't being produced smoothly. I think Force Awakens was the only one without insane drama behind the scenes.

I agree, it's a mystery, and I can't help but wonder if she was George Lucas' poisoned chalice.

I suppose that's my major disappointment with TLJ. Episodes 1-6 tell a largely cohesive story, imperfections notwithstanding. As I left the theater after seeing TLJ, I felt there was a disconnect between it and TFA and a huge disconnect between it and the original six films. I'm sure the switch from JJ Abrams to Rian Johnson as director played a big part in that.

There is a book called Heads You Lose. The book purports to be a murder mystery being written by two collaborators, whose working relation falls apart midway through and their communications turn into passive aggressive snipes as they kill off the other's favorite character and resurrect them. It's hilarious.

One of the funniest things about the book is that it is absolutely ridiculous that two writers would collaborate on a book, and of all things a murder mystery, without a solid outline of whodunnit, how, why, and so on. Oh, sure, they'd disagree about minor stuff here and there but the broadest outlines of the murder would pretty much be in stone. No, it is ridiculous to think two people would collaborate on a novel without some sort of outline.

But this is how Kathleen Kennedy runs a four billion-dollar IP into the iceberg called Last Jedi.

 

[SuperSheep]

Then Karen Traviss, aka the Travissty, heralded the end of Star wars novels, stating that the clone army was only 3 million soldier, then acting like a Lolcow online when faced with criticism over the rediculously small number.

Hey, Traviss deserves a lot of the crap thrown at her, but the clone troop numbers thing predated her by a good 2 and a half years in the AOTC novelization (which at the time, was the second-highest tier of canon). She didn't come up with the stupid numbers, the numbers were always stupid, and some of the fans that went after her weren't exactly right in the head. I remember one dude expressing his distaste by making a machinima of himself shooting up a library where a Traviss-analog was signing books.

 

[Vault Boy]

So, this is my take on what I posted after some thought. From the sounds of things, Disney is in a hard place if this is true. They fully realize identity politics isn't working, as I've said China considers these films "white left" or Baizuo and are put off by these politics. In addition, Lucasfilm and it's staff has been insanely hostile to any criticism as well as making numerous attacks on the Star Wars fandom. Throw in the history of troubled productions, increased budgets, the underperformance of TLJ, the flop of Solo and in general how many people are commenting on franchise fatigue.

The hard part is that Disney is a very bad position to fire her and her staff. If they do, the backlash from the media would paint a very bad picture in the eyes of the regular public. "Disney caves to manbabies! Star Wars betrays women and minorities," "Star Wars no longer for everyone as Disney fires a bunch of progressive voices." The same outlets that defended TLJ would rip Disney apart, something Disney doesn't want. Disney wants to be for everyone in order to take their money, and the politicization of Star Wars has made it impossible to cut the fat without taking some heat.

They can't fire the unprofessional shitheads at Lucasfilm, and no one wants to take them over.

I think they should just bite the bullet and go through with their plan, be it firing Kennedy or "convincing" her to retire. Sure, the media and SJW sites will be frothing at the mouths, but they'll be doing that at some point anyway since they love outrage and have no loyalty to anyone.

Look at what happened with Yooka-Laylee. When the developers removed JonTron at NeoGAF's whims, they were practically over the moon and praising them. But when the game came out, they became outraged when one of the main characters was a "horrible racist" (basically, being snarky to just about everyone in the game). You might temporarily appease those people, but they are more than happy to turn on your ass as soon as they see you do something "problematic".

Basically, Disney is in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario, and they should go through with their plans.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I think they should just bite the bullet and go through with their plan, be it firing Kennedy or "convincing" her to retire. Sure, the media and SJW sites will be frothing at the mouths, but they'll be doing that at some point anyway since they love outrage and have no loyalty to anyone.

Look at what happened with Yooka-Laylee. When the developers removed JonTron at NeoGAF's whims, they were practically over the moon and praising them. But when the game came out, they became outraged when one of the main characters was a "horrible racist" (basically, being snarky to just about everyone in the game). You might temporarily appease those people, but they are more than happy to turn on your ass as soon as they see you do something "problematic".

Basically, Disney is in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario, and they go through with their plans.

Their best bet would be to just silently replace her in the hierarchy without throwing her out. Just put someone into the hierarchy below Kennedy who calls the shots while Kennedy just keeps her mouth shut.

It would allow Disney to have someone else take over the reigns, it allows everybody to save face and it spares Kennedy the emberassement of being fired. All it would take is for everyone to just play along and not rock the boat.

 

[Raging Capybara]

I think Disney should just kill Kennedy the same way Nintendo did with Gunpei Yokoi.

 

[Vault Boy]

I think Disney should just kill Kennedy the same way Nintendo did with Gunpei Yokoi.

Which is the Virtual Boy in this case, TLJ for splintering the fanbase, or Solo for being the first box office bomb?

 

[Mola Ram]

I think Disney should just kill Kennedy the same way Nintendo did with Gunpei Yokoi.

Maybe they should just kill Kennedy like Sirhan Sirhan.

 

[BScCollateral]

Which is the Virtual Boy in this case, TLJ for splintering the fanbase, or Solo for being the first box office bomb?

I'd vote for TLJ. It did make a profit, apparently, but I believe it was only because it did its business before word of mouth spread, and very likely sank Solo.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Can't believe I'm posting a video from the buck toothed spasmo. But I'm posting a video from the buck toothed spasmo.

 

[Flexo]

Alright lesser mortals, infobot is here to enlighten you. (that's my name now, Flexo is my slave name)

Now, I understand that JJ did not leave a lot of good plot hooks. The expected "mystery" inside the boxes he wrote were all exceptional and answering any of them in a way that wasn't pants on head stupid and boring would be difficult. Rey being Luke's daughter for example would be stupid, pointless, and attempted justification for her Mary Sue qualities, but it would be an answer.

Like MauLer pointed out, ANYBODY could be Rey's parents as long as you - wait for it - DO SOMETHING with them. Rey's father could have literally be a random First Order officer and the sequel could have had a compelling story of her struggle convincing him to turn over a new leaf (you know - Finn done right). Everyone keeps saying there was no way to answer the questions - there was, just not by a writer of Rian Johnson's caliber.

I mean had they REALLY want to be daring, they would have made Rey Palpatine's descendant (Galactic Emperor? You know that kind of power he was getting laid) and then fanfic writers would swoon as Rey/Kylo would be an enactment of the Vader/Emperor dream they always had.

Or just put the top SW theories into a bowl and draw out one at random. Reveals are only doomed to fail if you take too long on them and there was just 1 movie so they could have pulled it off easily.

If there isn't a thread for outside writers fucking up established franchises in Art and Literature I might consider researching and writing up a better synopsis of The Travissty to start one. I enjoyed reading about Kevin J Anderson's Dune abortions, and even though I know little about Halo, I'm curious about Travis's work there.

If you guys do that, let me know.

I still think one of TLJ's biggest mistakes was killing off Luke. This could somewhat be corrected if Rey was his daughter, though considering reactions to her and the direction they took I'd more recommend her being a Meetra Surik type, his journey and by extension his family's is a central thing. Going beyond that is perfectly fine but ultimately it serves to give the Skywalker narrative more depth. Basically keep in mind the series was almost "The Adventures of Luke Starkiller: The Star Wars" which should remind you of the serials George Lucas had a boner over.

Originally George planned for the sequel trilogy to be the struggle against the Emperor and the saga of "the Other" - Luke's twin sister. When he decided to ditch the trilogy (because he was getting tired of it all), he moved up the Emperor to RotJ and had to reveal who "the other" was (thus by process of elimination - it was Leia).

Which sucks because if you think about it, this sequel series might have worked if George had left the other unrevealed, and then years later we would find out with Rey being Luke's niece (the daughter of his long-lost sister). Then there could be all sorts of storytelling possibilities...

I agree, it's a mystery, and I can't help but wonder if she was George Lucas' poisoned chalice.

If you want to know her deal, watch the last video (part 6) on this page. It goes over the whole transition to Disney and how reluctant George was to do so at the time.

All it would take is for everyone to just play along and not rock the boat.

So... like the sequel films.

I've been searching for a RLM takedown of both TFA and TLGJ but can't find a good one.

Here you go.

You're welcome.

 

[RockVolnutt]

Originally George planned for the sequel trilogy to be the struggle against the Emperor and the saga of "the Other" - Luke's twin sister. When he decided to ditch the trilogy (because he was getting tired of it all), he moved up the Emperor to RotJ and had to reveal who "the other" was (thus by process of elimination - it was Leia).

Which sucks because if you think about it, this sequel series might have worked if George had left the other unrevealed, and then years later we would find out with Rey being Luke's niece (the daughter of his long-lost sister). Then there could be all sorts of storytelling possibilities...

That could've worked and I wouldn't be here asking why Disney calls the movies "The Skywalker Saga" when they jettisoned them and any accomplishments they've made. You could point out "He inspired the remaining Resistence members with his sacrifice" as continued influence but he never would've had to project himself over there had Rose not stopped Finn from destroying that laser.

Picture if Iron Man 3 had Tony Stark dying out in the woods in the middle of nowhere because that kid got into some stupid shit and then Marvel Studios/shills gets anal about complaints because "HE INSPIRED THAT KID TO STAND UP TO HIS BULLIES" followed by promises of more Iron Man movies that now lack Iron Man.

 

[Flexo]

He inspired the remaining Resistence members with his sacrifice" as continued influence but he never would've had to project himself over there had Rose not stopped Finn from destroying that laser.

Which is funny because if you watch the film - there's no real way for Luke to inspire anyone - because the Resistance is at the back of the cave, trying to find a way out while Luke is doing all his Matrix stuff in front of the FO.

So the question is... when the kids are telling Luke's story at the end of the film . . . how did they find out about it?

(my headcanon is that hux is spreading the tale around because he's mad at Kylo)

 

[Godzilla@1989]

You're welcome.

Thanks!

 

[Flexo]

Thanks!

NP. And yes that user has promised a TLJ video too. I'll post it here when I see it go up.

 

[Zaryiu]

Any predictions for Episode IX? I would be surprised if Rey ends up the Eternal Perfect Mary Sue that create an order based on SJWisms, no white males or Aliens allowed and she lives forever to force everyone to follow her and Rose teachings

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Any predictions for Episode IX? I would be surprised if Rey ends up the Eternal Perfect Mary Sue that create an order based on SJWisms, no white males or Aliens allowed and she lives forever to force everyone to follow her and Rose teachings

I have a feeling that Darth Maul will appear and would feel connected to all of the eight previous films. I mean, I'm sure Disney will make something like that happen in a retarded manner. It may sound retarded, but given the shitstorm that was Last Jedi, I'm sure something like that or something similar will happen.

Also, bigger shitting on the triumphs of the original trilogy, more nostalgia and SJW pandering.

In terms of box office predictions, I'm smelling a Last Knight dud. If the last two movies' performances are a indication, is that Star Wars has become another saturated movie franchise that's being pumped out by a soulless corporation run by predatory capitalists that lack originality and are currently about to fuck over fair competition at the box office with the Fox merger (which I'm baffled nobody is protesting against this).