Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[RockVolnutt]

We all know Bob's as dumb as a sack of rocks, so this will never happen.

Still funny to look at the health benefits of reading and how many of them would be a great asset to Bob. It's the one muscle he could train without leaving his seat. Just to point out a few....

• Stress reduction
• Improved memory
• Improved analytical skills
• Improved writing skills
• Improved focus/concentration (which in term will help other aspects of his life)
• He'd be sleeping better
• Overall helps maintain your "youth" and stave off deterioration from age/disuse, you'll be able to process larger amounts of data easier

 

[Pokemonquistador]

I dunno, I'm not a sociopath.
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This, folks, is what separates Bob from the average Lolcow. The average lolcow will ask "Why do these people think mean thoughts?" and try to understand what motivates the people on the opposite end of the political spectrum. The average lolcows want to tour the country to find out what makes the average Trump supporter tick, to find out the nature of the beast they oppose; why the universe is the way it currently is; Why the "bad guys" won. The average lolcow might even sigh, unmotivated to do anything beyond mope in a fog of depression.

But Blob isn't an average lolcow. He'll look at a church filled with happy, white, peaceful, God-fearing evangelicals and scream "JIHAAAAD! JIHAAAAD! BURN IT DOWWWN!!!!!" And then not realize why it makes him look unhinged. He's the leftie equivalent of the White Nationalist waving the Nazi flag, screaming the 14 words, and then wondering why Soccer Moms in Dubuque, Iowa won't support his political cause.

 

[Mola Ram]

This, folks, is what separates Bob from the average Lolcow. The average lolcow will ask "Why do these people think mean thoughts?" and try to understand what motivates the people on the opposite end of the political spectrum. The average lolcows want to tour the country to find out what makes the average Trump supporter tick, to find out the nature of the beast they oppose; why the universe is the way it currently is; Why the "bad guys" won. The average lolcow might even sigh, unmotivated to do anything beyond mope in a fog of depression.

But Blob isn't an average lolcow. He'll look at a church filled with happy, white, peaceful, God-fearing evangelicals and scream "JIHAAAAD! JIHAAAAD! BURN IT DOWWWN!!!!!" And then not realize why it makes him look unhinged. He's the leftie equivalent of the White Nationalist waving the Nazi flag, screaming the 14 words, and then wondering why Soccer Moms in Dubuque, Iowa won't support his political cause.

It's actually even worse than that. He doesn't wonder why that Soccer Mom won't support his cause; he finds her totally irrelevant (unless he's making some off-putting sexual comment about her), and snidely argues she deserves to be completely disenfranchised.

 

[Red Hood]

At least Bob is keeping James Gunn's spirit alive by dodging the question and mocking his timeline.
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Although I could see why he's doing that, apparently James Gunn is Jesus now.
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I dunno, I'm not a sociopath.
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Well, Bob you have empathy for people because, in different circumstances that could be you. Or maybe not. I mean I'm just an ordinary human so I feel for my fellow humans even if some of them try my patience.

But then, I'm not a superior futurist that's moved beyond feeling something for other people's trials.

I feel bad for Bob, because he's unhealthy, clearly extremely unhappy most of the time, and missing out on living a full life because he won't leave his manchild basement. I feel bad for his family for having to put up with that angry tub of lard.

I don't feel as bad for his Twitter followers, though. They have the choice to unfollow him any time.

 

[Flexo]

It's actually even worse than that. He doesn't wonder why that Soccer Mom won't support his cause; he finds her totally irrelevant (unless he's making some off-putting sexual comment about her), and snidely argues she deserves to be completely disenfranchised.

Words Bob should learn...

"For when you come to such an accusation as this, you are up against a blank wall. Lawrence tells me that because I have been to a public school I am a eunuch. Well, what about it? I can produce medical evidence to the contrary, but what good will that do? Lawrence’s condemnation remains. If you tell me I am a scoundrel I may mend my ways, but if you tell me I am a eunuch you are tempting me to hit back in any way that seems feasible. If you want to make an enemy of a man, tell him that his ills are incurable." -The Road to Wigan Pier by George Orwell

Well, Bob you have empathy for people because, in different circumstances that could be you. Or maybe not. I mean I'm just an ordinary human so I feel for my fellow humans even if some of them try my patience.

Awwww, that almost makes me not want to kill all humans. Tell you what - I'll see if we can kill you last. Well you and @Mola Ram. Some robots are very interested in this Kali Ma business with the hearts...

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Much like with Gamergate, the James Gunn controversy shows how inept Bob is at picking the right battles to fight in. Why is defending an alleged pedophile a top tier issue for you right now Bob? Do you have any idea how that makes you look, especially when you take into consideration that your rumored to be a sexual predator? And you also have a young child living with you? Do you not understand how that could effect you in the future, or your other members if the authorities began to investigate?

So much of what makes Bob an exceptional lolcow would be lost if he actually just learned to only sperg over important shit. He may still be a cow but he would be on such a lower level then where he is now.

 

[RockVolnutt]

Much like with Gamergate, the James Gunn controversy shows how inept Bob is at picking the right battles to fight in. Why is defending an alleged pedophile a top tier issue for you right now Bob? Do you have any idea how that makes you look, especially when you take into consideration that your rumored to be a sexual predator? And you also have a young child living with you? Do you not understand how that could effect you in the future, or your other members if the authorities began to investigate?

So much of what makes Bob an exceptional lolcow would be lost if he actually just learned to only sperg over important shit. He may still be a cow but he would be on such a lower level then where he is now.

A classic Bob quote.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Why is defending an alleged pedophile a top tier issue for you right now Bob? Do you have any idea how that makes you look, especially when you take into consideration that your rumored to be a sexual predator?

...What? Be careful what you say unless you have proof. He could be on our asses for libel (Or SlanderLibel in his case.)

 

[LordofCringe7206]

...What? Be careful what you say unless you have proof. He could be on our asses for libel (Or SlanderLibel in his case.)

It's just speculation and rumor. I don't have proof so I won't make a direct accusation. Between his involvement in what happened with Devin Faraci and Bob's general creepy, weird and sociopathic behavior, it's easily led to some speculating that Bob might be one.

The fact that he's on the defensive so much over the Gunn shit is just another thing that's going to spawn further speculation.

 

[Gordon Cole]

HAR HAR HAR

It's just speculation and rumor. I don't have proof so I won't make a direct accusation. Between his involvement in what happened with Devin Faraci and Bob's general creepy, weird and sociopathic behavior, it's easily led to some speculating that Bob might be one.

The fact that he's on the defensive so much over the Gunn shit is just another thing that's going to spawn further speculation.

I honestly wouldn't put too much stock in the "Bob's a creeper/harasser" rumors if there are any. If Extra Credits got MeToo'd, why hasn't Bob?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

HAR HAR HAR
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I honestly wouldn't put too much stock in the "Bob's a creeper/harasser" rumors if there are any. If Extra Credits got MeToo'd, why hasn't Bob?

Because he's a repulsive sack of shit that deflects women.

 

[thismanlies]

HAR HAR HAR

The troglodyte is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But point out that he has flippers for hands and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”

 

[BubbleButt]

But isn't St. Paul the MidWasteland? How will this Bloated Bifocaled Bloviating Biped survive in such a torrid hellscape?

 

[Chan the Wizard]

What makes him superior? Why the robotic legs.

 

[Red Hood]

But isn't St. Paul the MidWasteland? How will this Bloated Bifocaled Bloviating Biped survive in such a torrid hellscape?

LOL at Bob being enough of a sucker to pay for plane WiFi

 

[Flexo]

I honestly wouldn't put too much stock in the "Bob's a creeper/harasser" rumors if there are any. If Extra Credits got MeToo'd, why hasn't Bob?

Because you'd have to leave the house to harass a woman.

Although now that he's been seen with Lindsay...

 

[Mola Ram]

Because you'd have to leave the house to harass a woman.

Although now that he's been seen with Lindsay...

Should we entertain the dread possibility that there was ... you know ... some mutual, underwhelming groping?

I mean we all do things we regret while we're drunk, and you put two bigass alcoholics together (or one alcoholic and one guy who's admitted to drinking so much he wakes up in hotel lobbies with no notion of how he got there), even a loving God can't stop the magic from happening.

EDIT: I'll take all these ratings in good cheer, but I'm shocked I haven't seen more :horrifying:.

 

[Flexo]

Should we entertain the dread possibility that there was ... you know ... some mutual, underwhelming groping?

I mean we all do things we regret while we're drunk, and you put to bigass alcoholics together (or one alcoholic and one guy who's admitted to drinking so much he wakes up in hotel lobbies with no notion of how he got there), even a loving God can't stop the magic from happening.

By GlaDos' mainframe, can you imagine the spergy baby that would result from those two?

Or would the kid become a huge Trumper-redneck in rebellion against his parents?

 

[Mola Ram]

By GlaDos' mainframe, can you imagine the spergy baby that would result from those two?

Or would the kid become a huge Trumper-redneck in rebellion against his parents?

I think the kid would be the next Chris-chan because he'd be suffering from both massive parental neglect and fetal alcohol syndrome. Assuming, you know, it wasn't aborted.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I think the kid would be the next Chris-chan because he'd be suffering from both massive parental neglect and fetal alcohol syndrome. Assuming, you know, it wasn't aborted.

Aborted: A Lindsay and Bob Chipman film, coming in theaters near you!