0:10 A talking-to-cat intro.
0:40 She's looking bloated.
1:11 She has increasingly been using the term "food addiction" recently, I think she uses it to shut-down criticism of binge weeks.
1:21 Regarding the week of avoiding giving her promised vlogs on her smoothie diet "I've learned a lot", "[this whole journey] has just been a mind-fuckery [...] more than any time in my life".
1:35 Begins to rattle off a bewildering amount of mitigating words in a rambling couple of run-on sentences: "confronted", "I'm really conflicted", "things are at a boiling point in my life", "I'm just coming to a lot of realisations", "I don't know if I'm growing up", "Sometimes I feel like I'm so immature".
1:40 Nervous side-eye.
2:00 Chantal is a 30 year old woman who is still having 'how does it feel to grow up/become adult' thoughts.
2:06 "[adulthood] is learning from experiences in life".
2:25 "My face right now is very red, I did give myself a facial", "I have very sensitive skin and the mask I used doesn't agree with my skin" (A Lush mask that she got for free, didn't a Kiwi call her out for applying new products to her skin without spot-checking first?).
2:50 She claims not to have make up on so maybe her odd skin is a filter? There is no way that her cratered face has nothing of that nature going on atm.
2:55 She got her hair fixed but thinks it looks like a puritan.
3:07 Her smoothie diet lasted "a couple of days". Claims it was "fine" but she still "caved".
3:30 Mentions cravings for a specific type of junk food (a grocery store in Ottawa that sells "huge pizza buns"). She drove at 1am to the store and binged on three of them. She flashes up a Binge > Guilt > Restrict cycle chart overlay.
3:55 Claims she intended to return to the smoothie diet after this, but alas things did not work out.
4:02 Says "there's a learning process here, so don't worry" with the implication that this made her realise some things and improve, although I don't think "don't binge on junk food" is something she was unaware of to this point.
4:20 The next day "I caved".
4:25 "I think Bibi was working, and I was alone, and I had the car [...] and I decided to drive 200km/2 hour drive" for that damn unhealthy orange drink she was posting about early in her diet. Mentions they also sell veggie dogs and other things she desires, so clearly she bought and ate a lot.
This reaffirms a theory that mentally Chantal writes-off any excess as long as she puts labour into achieving it. This is sort of the way a fat person rewards themselves with a burger after the gym, but if anything even dumber with car travel. I can only imagine her epic night-drives in terms such as
this or
this, high on the texture of the night and the excitement of incoming satiation, knowing that psychologically she can defer all of the regret until afterwards.
5:18 She watches Youtube videos while driving, in this instance, a documentary about a cannibal. She also listened to a Shining audiobook and confirms that the experience was "very pleasurable for me". She makes this disturbing binge trip sound like her equivalent of casual sex or something.
5:43 "That's the type of food addict I am, I'm obsessive, and it was an escape".
5:53 "I was by myself". This deferring of blame and subtle implications that Bibi is partly to blame from bringing his absence up repeatedly is textbook unhealthy relationship behaviour.
6:04 Brings Bibi up directly (possibly referring to a Zachary video where he mentions him) "Does your boyfriend support you? He does, but he doesn't understand food addiction".
6:37 "We prefer to keep our relationship out of the public eye".
6:45 "I was successful the last couple of days of the smoothie diet".
7:02 She is going for another fad diet she learned from the Binge Code. She's using more pseudo-scientific waffle "Juice Detox" to justify her behaviour. This whole passage is genuinely impossible to follow due to the rambling and appears to be a window into how Chantal tries to justify her behaviour and shut-down criticism, but in this instance these excuses are not yet fully-formed.
7:40 "I need to stop comparing myself to other people [...] and their weight loss journeys", like that woman who criticised you and you said was doing worse than you are despite her losing 100+lb and being far less mentally-fucked?
7:48 "Focus on what works for me". Chantal is DEEP into the "self love" train of thought here. She's already said "I deserve this" at 7:18. This is not just classic Chantal, but classic fatlogic, in which she conflates her unwillingness to do something that works for everyone (not eating as much) with her body being so unique that she is immune to conventional dieting, and so must find "her path" - and coincidentally her path appears to be things that are stupid like filling herself with empty sugars from juicing. If you criticise this then you don't get it, man, you're just looking into her life through a window, Chantal has LIVED this life and knows what works. She is 100% impartial. "Nothing has worked", no Chantal, you have REFUSED to follow anything. Adding more fad diets won't do shit when it's your mental problems that are causing this mess.
7:55 SAM
8:05 Mercifully begins to talk about something else (her journal) for a moment. Apparently people ask her how many journals she has(?). The answer is one.
8:22 "So I decided to try this juice thing". She went as far as buying new jars(?) - is she starting a business or something? Fat people make blending fruit and vegetables sound like some kind of advanced science.
8:27 She bought SIXTY DOLLARS of food to juice, for ONE DAY of juice.
8:48 SAM and cut to Sam and crows at him.
9:04 Launches into some vintage Chantal healthsplaining about pollution of the body and detoxifying.
9:47 Chantal accidentally stumbles something that if she wasn't retarded could have led her to understand the core of what keeps her fat, but she then lapses into more bs armchair psychology.
10:00 Claims to have physical side-effects from eating healthily including "bad withdrawal" and headaches.
10:11 Apparently getting the shits from going from a full-meat to full-plant diet is surprising to Dr. Chantal PhD.
10:15 "So moody/miserable", as much as she wants to chalk this up as more side-effects, it's also possible that you're just being a bitch because you hate not eating pounds of processed meat every day.
10:20 "I would just pass out for a couple of hours at a time to just escape", this does not sound physical, this sounds like a fat baby chimping out.
10:28 "I don't know if I'm hungry", "I can't tell", "I don't think I know what it is to be hungry". Ties this into validation of her choice of the juice cleanse, as though only liquidised food can teach Chantal the arcane mysteries of not eating all the time, despite the smoothie diet disaster.
10:48 Brings out the Binge Code, which apparently she ignored upon purchase but is now reading.
11:00 Once again refers to her weight loss "journey". Is it actually a journey if you look at the starting line, turn around, and walk backwards? Restates praise for the Binge Code. She clearly enjoys how it provides her with more ammunition for her health and nutrition deflections, now she can never lose weight while further claiming to be an expert on what it takes to lose weight. This book is clearly aimed at people who are not deceptive and riddled with excuses and unwillingness to change.
12:18 Chantal is going to latch so hard onto the book's perfectly reasonable assessment that if you fast, it will cause you to binge. Unfortunately Chantal has never properly fasted so she's just going to use this advice as an excuse to continue overeating.
13:00 Chantal appears very relieved to have learned the word "physiological", I sense it will be used a lot in future to justify all kinds of shit. Launches into euphoric "diets/low carb doesn't work" nutritionsplaining.
13:30 Chantal discovers micro-portions after all these years.
14:10 "I have not weighed myself"
14:20 I can't even summarise how disgusting I find Chantal's nutritionsplaining here.
15:28 Veganism is too "restrictive" for her right now.
16:00 She mentions vegetarianism and seafood/poultry diets but it appears to be idle thoughts and not a commitment.
17:00 "I'll show you guys what I'm eating", until she binges and hides of course.
17:05 "I'm not going to do a weigh-in for a little while", "I want to give time for my body to adapt", "I don't want to get discouraged or overly criticised by a number on the scale", "people are very dismissive and critical"
17:20 Goes full fierce-girl, "I don't need that on my journey", "If you're just here to criticise me/be petty/kick me when I'm down", "if you don't understand food addiction and the struggles, then I'm sorry".
17:50 Chantal previously has claimed she only deletes troll comments, but here confirms anything "critical" will be blocked "as I always do".
17:58 Mensturation talk. Hormones are "regulating", reveals her true mindset when she uses this as an excuse for not weighing when she has already admitted it's because she binged and gained weight. What a liar and persistent excuse-maker she can be.
18:26 Wants to start using her Fitbit and walking every day(!) Her walking plan of 5 mins warm-up, 5 mins brisk, 5 mins slow she is currently incapable of. Not to mention the walking time increases each week with the plan she is following.
19:18 Bizarre nutrition talk comes in again, apparently each meal being nutritious is the primary concern of this 400lb woman. She still claims to get up at normal hours like 8am, despite constantly being up into the small hours.
20:00 People who want a weight-loss channel owner to lose weight are "just going to be disappointed", they should be real supporters.
20:20 She will continue doing other videos: cooking, mukbangs, scary stories.
