DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Wing Zero]

At this point I think even Phil does not even know what is and isn't a lit at this point

Revolver Ocelot in MGS5 has some dialogue that's directed at Huey Emmerich that fits Phil almost perfectly:

"Changing your lies to suit the listener, and getting by slipping through the cracks. Building layer, upon layer of convenient stories until nothing means anything to you anymore. You're happy all the time, because you don't even notice you're doing it. Think hard - who are you really? You're not a victim, and you're not the silent majority. You're a perpetrator, and a petty hypocrite. The real world doesn't make you suffer - it's the other way around."

 

[gaarashatan]

Is it true Phil lives in a triplex?

Thats sad as fuck. Dumbass moves across the country into an overpriced housing market for a triplex with a concrete strip for a 'backyard'

hes never been one for good decisions....ever...

 

[Monday Michiru]

Is it true Phil lives in a triplex?

Thats sad as fuck. Dumbass moves across the country into an overpriced housing market for a triplex with a concrete strip for a 'backyard'

It's sad as fuck that he wants the good life, but keeps having to settle for imitations. A "gated community" of questionable prestige, and a flimsy as fuck gate that's like 4 feet high. Jackie Chin could clear it easy were he so inclined. Either way, by Dave's own account, he's surrounded by elderlies. So, it's not even a hype gated community full of directionless yuppies and millenials like himself.

Also the BMW. His BMW model choice was ridiculed by /cow/ for being the sort that rich kids get gifted as their first car.

 

[actually]

Is it true Phil lives in a triplex?

Thats sad as fuck. Dumbass moves across the country into an overpriced housing market for a triplex with a concrete strip for a 'backyard'

Not only lives in a triplex condo that he paid ~$250k for, but he's the middle unit. So he has neighbors on both sides. Who the fuck would buy that over a house with a goddamn yard?

 

[Wurstbrot]

Listening to PUBG on the night stream.
"Do your neighbors smoke weed?"
"I live in a private gated community. I don't know anything about my neighbors."

They are not protected by the FBI with a false identity, Phil. Your neighbors are just gated with you, it's a closed community. If you're not interested in talking to them, just say it.

 

[NursezillaX]

I was looking for the DSP affirmative action video (I know it's from Ask The King), and it's always amazing to see some of the questions that he has the balls to answer with complete lack of self-awareness...

 

[FalsePositive]

The meme cheers are on fire tonight. The new cars, the snorts, the valedictorian speech. Which one of you autists is pozloading my neghole-poo right now?

 

[dsflfdsl23012]

Holy fuck he looks like the guy from the 2nd human centipede movie from that angle...



Thats fucking hilarious! I've always wondered what would happen if an A-list Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp went on Fallon or some talk show and namedropped DSP.

Maybe he'd finally drop the whole "Mentally Ill Detractors" shit...or just close up shop altogether.

 

[Monday Michiru]

Floated more mystery medical issues, this time with his stomach to explain why he belches so often.

One of our guardian angels asked Phil about his valedictorian speech, and I'm genuinely stunned. He had an answer ready. But then, the story trails off into the parents of the kids approaching him, and making sure to give congratulations on the best VD speech they had ever heard. Then the President and Saddam Hussein clapped. (@Sparkletor !!!)

Maybe he'd finally drop the whole "Mentally Ill Detractors" shit...or just close up shop altogether.

HE'S mentally ill now. Self-diagnosed, but his self diagnosed all of us, so...

Refused to sing the lyrics to Ocean Man in a donation. Afraid of getting rused.
With that I'm going to bed. This has been a full 72 hours or so of gout. Ugh.

 

[Draza]

Floated more mystery medical issues, this time with his stomach to explain why he belches so often.

One of our guardian angels asked Phil about his valedictorian speech, and I'm genuinely stunned. He had an answer ready. But then, the story trails off into the parents of the kids approaching him, and making sure to give congratulations on the best VD speech they had ever heard. Then the President and Saddam Hussein clapped. (@Sparkletor !!!)


HE'S mentally ill now. Self-diagnosed, but his self diagnosed all of us, so...

Refused to sing the lyrics to Ocean Man in a donation. Afraid of getting rused.
With that I'm going to bed. This has been a full 72 hours or so of gout. Ugh.

Have a good sleep.

 

[actually]

Floated more mystery medical issues, this time with his stomach to explain why he belches so often

He belches so damn much because he eats shit junk food and has multiple carbonated beverages throughout the day (notice that he always, ALWAYS has a mountain dew kickstart of some kind on the day-time stream). I know this because I've fallen into the same trap. Phil needs some leafy greens, some greek yogurt, and fewer carbonated drinks. That would eliminate the vast majority of the burping.

Otherwise, just learn to mute the fucking mic, ya goddamn pig.

Edit: Also, congrats to Phil on surpassing June's Twitch total for cheers/subs/tips (~$5600-5900). On track to hit about $6200-6300 for the month, which would be his best since Jan. 2018 and his 3rd best month over all on Twitch.

 

[The_MmmBop_Gang]

He takes forever to get to something. Just to finish a sentence he's always like "UHM, Uhhh.. Alright? Okay? Sound good?" and it takes FOREVER and sometimes goes through like 5 minutes of history we don't need to get to his point.

I drove ten whole blocks and this 36 year old idiot did nothing but drone on about his time in high school.... Also, how the fuck does he look worse when using his dumb iPhone 20Xi as opposed to his potato web cam? This dude is so fucking bizarre...

 

[JamFlowMan]

Floated more mystery medical issues, this time with his stomach to explain why he belches so often.

Early vote for acid reflux, something a lot of people deal with but like post nasal drip since Phil suffers from it's the worst most terrible incurable disability a person could have, and you better not make fun of it either you mentally ill nudniks.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

I preface this post with "I don't like DSP" and I expect some major disagreements with my opinion, but some people are being hypocrites. I realized I can't have it both ways and laugh at his transgressions and then chide him for trying. Phil is without a doubt a hypocrite, a liar, a cheat, and a pig and deserves the jeers he gets. I can point and laugh at his delusional sense of self worth, and pick out all the times he's double backed on his word. I can easily hate his crass nature and lord over him his failures. But after that I cant also crucify him for trying to do the very things I make fun of him for not doing before. Saying "you need to edit your videos stupid" and then when he does (granted years later) say "I thought you don't edit videos stupid" is a double standard no one can defend against. Damned if you do or don't. Phil will always deny and lie his way out of taking blame but let's see what happens when he starts to actively listen and try. Could be a disaster that resets in a week or it could be a whole new spinoff. Let the imp work his magic.

(I know I'm delayed in responding to this but still catching up on like 20 pages)

I respect how measured & fair-minded you are with what you're saying, I just think it offers a level of generosity that this dude just doesn't warrant.

Spoiler: My Take

I take the position that he isn't publicly owed what he doesn't publicly afford others. Grace, benefit of doubt, due credit, good faith & fair dealing, respect, solid sportsmanship, empathy. All columns are in the negatives. And this is the kindest statement I can make about him.

To use your example:

Not a fag because he doesn't edit. Fag because he isn't satisfied with just spamblasting his unedited meat-cleaved filler trash, he also needs to sermonize about his moral & intellectual superiority to those who do edit + see more success than him, & the audience that enjoys them.

Not a fag because he couldn't comprehend the editing software. Fag because he soapboxes constantly about how any simpleton can edit videos. Fag because he spergulates about how editing is hard & time-consuming. Fag because the only energy he channels into anything is his crusade to convince the world that he's not at all a derp turkey. Fag because his signature, low-rent, canned response to anyone who rustles his jimmies, is always some snotty, smug indictment of their intelligence. Fag because an average 7 year old can figure out that software. Fag because "the sahftware is bunk", never him. Fag because proven history indicates that the fucker is lying anyway, & he never even tried to edit anything. ... you get my point, although I could go on for fucking hours.

In my mind, he's irredeemable for countless reasons, none of which I've even listed above. He exists in my world only to embarrass himself for my entertainment, & then to entertain me further with how hard he hates knowing he's a perpetual & self-renewing laughingstock across the far reaches of the internet, & then I get to see those flailing, screamo diva public pissrages over it. If that ever goes away, so will I.

I have zero investment in his story arc other than how hilarious I find it to watch bad things happen to someone who more than satisfies my personal standards for a piece of shit. If he did have a sincere change of heart he would just stop being funny & then I'd simply have no further use for him. This guy wouldn't piss on my gums if my teeth were on fire & I wouldn't put my day on hold to do it for him.

So I have no problem with almost everyone looking thru the lens of "damned if do/damned if don't" because he has never earned anything gentler, & he sure as fuck doesn't hesitate to live by that canon. I just don't see it as hypocritical. I feel zero sympathy or need to take the high road w this doughy prick. He's the one that created the precedent & I don't take issue with using his own architecture in any way it can be applied to anything, to just laugh at him even harder.

TL;DR: Fuck that guy. He built this mountain he is dying on, & he deserves to be judged by the same fire & brimstone that he created & rips such an intergalactic boner over unleashing on everyone else.

 

[Haunter]

I was trying to explain who DSP is to someone today. To give an example of how often bizarre non-sense happens to him, I listed what's gone down this week alone:

-Gets dropped by his partnership network, Curse. Is now unable to monetize his DSPGaming channel, half his income, because of shit he pulled with AdSense 8 years ago (if I understand that whole thing correctly).

-A "conspiracy" that was "uncovered" among a group of his chat regulars leads to at least 3 of them getting banned (from what I know, Kozatof is somehow back, despite geneticgamer being the one who did the least and was asking for forgiveness).

-His internet goes down. He senses that this is a "systematic attack" against him by "Detractors".

-A professional victim, he slips up, revealing he has a new car.

-Gets in a Twitter fight at 2 AM with Diction. Diction turns out to be a fellow Twitch partner, and has a vastly superior position on the platform. He appears in DSP's chat and titles his own stream "Detractor in Training."

-Loses his first sponsored stream before it begins.

This is within the last 6 goddamn days.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Not only lives in a triplex condo that he paid ~$250k for, but he's the middle unit. So he has neighbors on both sides. Who the fuck would buy that over a house with a goddamn yard?

Protection, probably. Phil has no need for a yard and having more people around - especially in a gated community - means more security around that he isn't directly paying for (I'm sure homeowner's fees apply) so common thieves won't break in.

I was trying to explain who DSP is to someone today. To give an example of how often bizarre non-sense happens to him, I listed what's gone down this week alone:

-Gets dropped by his partnership network, Curse. Is now unable to monetize his DSPGming channel, half his income, because of shit he pulled with AdSense 8 years ago (if I understand that whole thing correctly).

-A "conspiracy" that was "uncovered" among a group of his chat regulars leads to at least 3 of them getting banned (from what I know, Kozatof is somehow back, despite geneticgamer being the one who did the least and was asking for forgiveness).

-His internet goes down. He senses that this is a "systematic attack" against him by "Detractors".

-A professional victim, he slips up, revealing he a new car.

-Gets in a Twitter fight at 2 AM with Diction. Diction turns out to be a fellow Twitch partner, and has a vastly superior position on the platform. He appears in DSP's chat and titles his own stream "Detractor in Training."

-Loses his first sponsored stream before it begins.

This is within the last 6 goddamn days.

I've actually been fairly distracted and unable to follow Phil, so thanks for recapping all that I missed. What I'm most curious about is why he has a new car - didn't he already have a brand new car from 2015 or something, or did he trade up?

 

[BrunoMattei]

I drove ten whole blocks and this 36 year old idiot did nothing but drone on about his time in high school.... Also, how the fuck does he look worse when using his dumb iPhone 20Xi as opposed to his potato web cam? This dude is so fucking bizarre...

It's the distance from the camera that doesn't show all the imperfections of his face.

 

[PieceofShet]

Guys, I think I got it. I found out the true reason behind this whole dspgaming thing. Its gonna blow your mind, so I put it behind spoilers!

Spoiler

There is no adsense problem, he just stopped monetizing his channel and uploading to it for a while. Reason? To reach a million sub. It will take some time but so far so good!

 

[Schmeckel]

Dammit - Now I feel bad.

Spoiler: I'm sorry

@LordKaT - Please forgive me, but this picture of Mr. Piggy reminded me far too much of you.

 

[Il_Duke]

I was trying to explain who DSP is to someone today. To give an example of how often bizarre non-sense happens to him, I listed what's gone down this week alone:

-Gets dropped by his partnership network, Curse. Is now unable to monetize his DSPGaming channel, half his income, because of shit he pulled with AdSense 8 years ago (if I understand that whole thing correctly).

-A "conspiracy" that was "uncovered" among a group of his chat regulars leads to at least 3 of them getting banned (from what I know, Kozatof is somehow back, despite geneticgamer being the one who did the least and was asking for forgiveness).

-His internet goes down. He senses that this is a "systematic attack" against him by "Detractors".

-A professional victim, he slips up, revealing he has a new car.

-Gets in a Twitter fight at 2 AM with Diction. Diction turns out to be a fellow Twitch partner, and has a vastly superior position on the platform. He appears in DSP's chat and titles his own stream "Detractor in Training."

-Loses his first sponsored stream before it begins.

This is within the last 6 goddamn days.

What a jackass. I was going to bullet-point this, but it basically amounts to a few pieces of paranoid Dave-vomit that his few remaining sycophants seem to gobble up:

- My pattern of unemployable behaviors and insults makes me unemployable. While I'll gladly wear that crutch as an example of why I can't transition back into the real world, I refuse to see why MCNs, Developers, and other streamers want nothing to do with me.

- I can't see why the world around me refuses to view me in the same light as I view myself. I'll gladly defend under-developed 'supporters' like Sidella while ignoring the 'creators' that cultivate the audience I want to have long-term, because the sperg that gives me 10 bucks in tips now is worth more than the relationships that will give me tens of times that in the future.

- I'm so detached from the real world that basic road blocks or obstacles that 99.999% of the country have to deal with are grand conspiracies to defraud or diminish my self-obsessed 'contributions' to the world. Everyone on the planet has to pay taxes, but somehow mine are an 'emergency' caused by divine providence instead of my ability to read into basic business law. Regional internet outages faces by hundreds of thousands of clients aren't the cost of doing business with a low-tier ISP, but instead a massive Detractor Conspiracy or "l33t h4xor5" wreaking havoc on my internet half a decade after that was actually a risk.

Even ignoring his unpleasant personality and physical appearance, this dude's shitty attitude would turn 99% of people off in a vacuum. I almost respect that the guy can somehow keep 4-5 people funding him at a time, if only because it suggests that he's fit into that perfect little sewer niche to keep a few pigs happy. At the same time, it means he can't challenge people like Sidella who melt down in his chat - all of his overtures towards pahsitivity are useless if he's cultivated an audience that depends on detractors and negativity to stay afloat.