Organic Fapcup
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
Ditto.I...I am actually currently playing a Jace character...
Well, alternating between Jace and robot Courier.
X-Com 3: The Final Fight
- Thread starter Tavern Explorer
- Start date
Well, alternating between Jace and robot Courier.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
Unrealistic dude, the thing's unmanned and we don't have the tech to take it back to base. We don't send the craft home yet though--while the night's young we're gonna check out that other building dude, like make sure no tangos are trying some false-flag attacks in the night or some shit.
COMBAT REPORT:
The team enters with Max Stone, another member from the porn block, at the front. Basically he and his buddy Norman are like ready to go dude, like #Roleplay he's just like "Look man, mee an' you are gonna get through dis juuuuust fine man, let's go dude."
There's not nearly enough of us to try splitting up, so the team stays in one squad and moves nice and slow. Geeky's like tactical from the earlier mission, so he tells the recruits what's what.
A civvie bursts from around the corner running around and flailing and shit but there's a method to this. Norman moves up and starts clearing apartments while Geeky and Max cover him.
FUCK I was right, there are tangos here and it looks FUCKED UP as FUCK! FramerBot and SlothParty open fire on the fucker!
That one's dropped but Norman's found more, basically Max is like "NO NORMAN BE CAREFUL DON'T BE CAREFUL NORMAN DON'T DON'T NORMAN"
FUCK A BRAINFUCKER
Max is like "NO NORMAN DON'T, NORMAN PLEASE BE CAREFUL NO NORMAN PLEASE, GUYYYYYYYS, GUYS HELP NORMAN NOOOOOOOO"
Max shoots it off Norman's head!!!
The fight in the hallway ends with the brainfucker dead and that FUCKED UP worm thing stunned, but Max has ben injured. We gotta finish this fast okay, I don't wanna lose someone so badass
Geeky tosses Norman his extra pistol and the three start tactically moving on.
One fast engagement later Norman has survived two more brainfucking attempts thanks to his wingmen's good shooting. FUCK yeah dude, you don't FUCK with the #Geek and the #Fag okay.
FUCK yeah dude, that's what I like to see. No doubt about that screen okay, this is an actual win!
It's been a productive night gamers. We've had our scares but we've had a hell of a lot of successes too. Congrats to all five of the soldiers that went out on that op, that was some fudcking tactical work you did gamers, and that's basically and/or what I believe.
I think it's finally safe for us all to toke up and turn in dudes; this day's ours.
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2013
Sir, this might be hard to believe but I'm the same John Titor from the first war. I woke up in the middle of a park bench and this future is gay and unrealistic. Either way, send me in.
PS - If I died in 1999, who the hell is in my grave?
PS - If I died in 1999, who the hell is in my grave?
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- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
Well thanks to the latest livestream you have no shortage of new lines to say while roleplaying.
Shit, I never had any children. I joined X-COM at age 17, then spent 40 years wandering around an alien weed farm because the transport had taken off without me. When I emerged to report back for duty after decades of toking up and fucking around with the alien entertainment units (top brass don't need to know, secret blazing, yo!), everyone was wearing gay-ass neon coloured diving suits and before I knew it, some aquatic motherfucker head-butted me to the grave with wrestling moves. Any chance you could use my remains to build an android or for some fucked up alien-human-McChicken hybrid clone experiment?
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
DAY 2
A new day and a new building clearing, dudes. Looks like we missed a few from last night but we handled it well; no new casualties to start the day.
We took a few of them alive but we didn't have anything to carry them back with so we had to take them out. It's FUCKED UP but hopefully that'll be the last time we have this issue--we have some of our finest engies building a carrying node for us to bring this shit back with us next time.
Heh, and on the way back the soldiers have a little fun. We see one of those cult speds driving on the road and the skyraider blows him up without missing a beat, like BOOOOM, MOTHERBITCH, basically.
Back home safe and sound, gamers. A sick way to start the day.
We don't know how much cash the government will be throwing our way at the end of the week so basically we're being pretty stingy, and I'm a little worried at how it'll affect us. Redesigning where our nerds worked at means we won't be started on researching some of the tango intel for five more days, which might put us at a disadvantage. We can't worry about that now though okay, we just got to like do what we can basically, and that means manufacturing something to carry live tangos home with. We order some more engineers to come in and help with the project for like, maximum tactical efficiency.
The sun's starting to set now and I notice there's another thing we have to worry about. Are troops may have been coming back alive but they've been coming in pretty shit condition. Less and less of are armed forces are fit for combat, and we don't have any extra soldiers we can bring in until the end of the week. If the tangos try to raid the city like they did last night, we won't even have five soldiers fully ready for combat. This could be a problem, gamers.
But you know what, with five soldiers or two we'll pull through tonight, okay. And you know what, maybe it'll be bloody. Maybe we'll be seeing hell tonight gamers, but you know what, like as sure as life's like a movie and shit the sun will still rise in a couple hours, and tomorrow is sure to be better okay.
A new day and a new building clearing, dudes. Looks like we missed a few from last night but we handled it well; no new casualties to start the day.
We took a few of them alive but we didn't have anything to carry them back with so we had to take them out. It's FUCKED UP but hopefully that'll be the last time we have this issue--we have some of our finest engies building a carrying node for us to bring this shit back with us next time.
Heh, and on the way back the soldiers have a little fun. We see one of those cult speds driving on the road and the skyraider blows him up without missing a beat, like BOOOOM, MOTHERBITCH, basically.
Back home safe and sound, gamers. A sick way to start the day.
We don't know how much cash the government will be throwing our way at the end of the week so basically we're being pretty stingy, and I'm a little worried at how it'll affect us. Redesigning where our nerds worked at means we won't be started on researching some of the tango intel for five more days, which might put us at a disadvantage. We can't worry about that now though okay, we just got to like do what we can basically, and that means manufacturing something to carry live tangos home with. We order some more engineers to come in and help with the project for like, maximum tactical efficiency.
The sun's starting to set now and I notice there's another thing we have to worry about. Are troops may have been coming back alive but they've been coming in pretty shit condition. Less and less of are armed forces are fit for combat, and we don't have any extra soldiers we can bring in until the end of the week. If the tangos try to raid the city like they did last night, we won't even have five soldiers fully ready for combat. This could be a problem, gamers.
But you know what, with five soldiers or two we'll pull through tonight, okay. And you know what, maybe it'll be bloody. Maybe we'll be seeing hell tonight gamers, but you know what, like as sure as life's like a movie and shit the sun will still rise in a couple hours, and tomorrow is sure to be better okay.
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- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
DAY 3
The night went without a raid and the sun rose to see some more purchases, gamers. Things are looking up again.
Are armed forces have all made nearly full recoveries, too. We'll be able to send a full team out on the next op, which is sickness--if we could be this tactical with five guys, imagine what we could do with seven or eight.
Oh, and the nerds have researched their first piece of tango gear--
...to find out it's completely useless to us.
If we can't at least sell it for a decent buck I'm gonna be pissed.
Pff, whatever. One thing they researhed that WASN'T completely worthless is done being manufactured, at least. The Skyraider is ecquipped with a bio-transport module now, so we'll be able to take our tango captives back to base for more intel now.
Night falls again, gamers. By tomorrow we'll be at full strength--
But tonight we have a fight on our hands
Okay we know what to do okay, I set the screen to tactical mode and start ordering the squadrons around. FGGTs 1 through 4 are already en route, like #Prepared motherbitch--
FUCK, that's too many of them!
Shit, that one's unloading! This is FICKED EHHHHHHHHP!
Oh god there's explosions everywhere dude, I can't watch all these fuckers at once! It's like hell on WHEEEELS, and WE'RE THE WHEEEEEL!
Dammit, we finished the fight on all their ships both of their troop carriers have dropped tangos into the city! Not even hours after they made it out of the hospital, all are armed forces have more work to do, dude. MAN, this is FUCKED UP.
The night went without a raid and the sun rose to see some more purchases, gamers. Things are looking up again.
Are armed forces have all made nearly full recoveries, too. We'll be able to send a full team out on the next op, which is sickness--if we could be this tactical with five guys, imagine what we could do with seven or eight.
Oh, and the nerds have researched their first piece of tango gear--
...to find out it's completely useless to us.
If we can't at least sell it for a decent buck I'm gonna be pissed.
Pff, whatever. One thing they researhed that WASN'T completely worthless is done being manufactured, at least. The Skyraider is ecquipped with a bio-transport module now, so we'll be able to take our tango captives back to base for more intel now.
Night falls again, gamers. By tomorrow we'll be at full strength--
But tonight we have a fight on our hands
Okay we know what to do okay, I set the screen to tactical mode and start ordering the squadrons around. FGGTs 1 through 4 are already en route, like #Prepared motherbitch--
FUCK, that's too many of them!
Shit, that one's unloading! This is FICKED EHHHHHHHHP!
Oh god there's explosions everywhere dude, I can't watch all these fuckers at once! It's like hell on WHEEEELS, and WE'RE THE WHEEEEEL!
Dammit, we finished the fight on all their ships both of their troop carriers have dropped tangos into the city! Not even hours after they made it out of the hospital, all are armed forces have more work to do, dude. MAN, this is FUCKED UP.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
The full team gets onto the Skyraider and prepares to move out. They're totally geared up for this okay, it's time for like some FUCKING #PAYBACK, gamers, and that's what I believe.
First, they do some cleanup and retrieve the crashed ships. The nerds will have a fun time figuring all this shit out.
Next they fly out and shoot a sped cult car--and blow up the road along with it
The government's not gonna like that...
Anyway, the next stop is the first invaded building.
COMBAT REPORT:
The troops touch down and holy shit, this place is big. Geeky calls for the squad to stay close; they'll go building by building basically, spreading out would mean too many people alone and away from friendly help.
The first tango is spotted on a walkway. Safety Scissors, back from the med ward, opens fire for some payback, dude.
The engagement's almost too quick to tactically catch man, this is SICK. The squad drops a brainfucker and chases off a blue faggot and a couple FUCKED UP spitting things before Geeky leads a group to take the first tower. They spot a FUCKED UP thing on the floor above them...
Heh, like, tango down dude.
The strike team moves up the lift to OH FUCK
FUCK that was a scare! Geeky drops the thing no problem but outside, Norman and Safety Scissors are having some trouble.
MoherBITCH! I turn to one problem and something happens on the other fron dude, this is FUCKED UP! Max Stone barely dodges a fudcking skydiving brainfucker and takes it down.
SHIT, he missed one! The fucker flies straight for SlothParty!
Like #Roleplay dudes, Norman's like "NO SLOTH NO DON'T NO PLEASE SLOTH, GUYYYYYYYS, GUYYYYYYS HELLLLLP"
Holy shit he snipes it mid-jump
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT CONCLUSION:
The strike team has to split up some to cover each walkway...this may not work, gamers. I keep a tactical eye out for tangos--if an engagement starts I may just call back one of the split off pairs and keep the squad together.
Meanwhile, Foulson holds his spot outside. If a tango tries to come out of one of the buildings on the bottom floor he'll be ready for it, dude.
Speak of the tactical devil...
With some quick ammo switching Foulson snipes the FUCKED UP FUCK with AP rounds and chases away a giant worm thing with an HE burst. FUCK yeah dude, that was some tactical shit.
At the same time, the second building clearing's going well. Max and Geeky take down some weird goo thing and keep moving.
Shit, that last worm thing got away. All other tangos are down, though. Hopefully security can handle that last fucker, are forces have more work to do.
One building down, one to go. Geeky's been promoted to sergeant on the fly; hopefully this next op will go well, and he'll be able to get back to base safely to get his new rank for real.
The second op...doesn't happen? The fuck? I guess we shot the ship down before it could unload any tangos. Damn, and now the building owners don't like us as much for springing a false alarm. Whatever okay, those fucks should be GRATEFUL dude, be HAPPY that we fudcking care about them
Ignoring that little mistake the night has been mostly success. The first week's almost over gamers, and overall we've been doing pretty good. Just a couple days to go and we'll have some extra cash to use on smoking future-bones and finishing this fight.
The strike team has to split up some to cover each walkway...this may not work, gamers. I keep a tactical eye out for tangos--if an engagement starts I may just call back one of the split off pairs and keep the squad together.
Meanwhile, Foulson holds his spot outside. If a tango tries to come out of one of the buildings on the bottom floor he'll be ready for it, dude.
Speak of the tactical devil...
With some quick ammo switching Foulson snipes the FUCKED UP FUCK with AP rounds and chases away a giant worm thing with an HE burst. FUCK yeah dude, that was some tactical shit.
At the same time, the second building clearing's going well. Max and Geeky take down some weird goo thing and keep moving.
Shit, that last worm thing got away. All other tangos are down, though. Hopefully security can handle that last fucker, are forces have more work to do.
One building down, one to go. Geeky's been promoted to sergeant on the fly; hopefully this next op will go well, and he'll be able to get back to base safely to get his new rank for real.
The second op...doesn't happen? The fuck? I guess we shot the ship down before it could unload any tangos. Damn, and now the building owners don't like us as much for springing a false alarm. Whatever okay, those fucks should be GRATEFUL dude, be HAPPY that we fudcking care about them
Ignoring that little mistake the night has been mostly success. The first week's almost over gamers, and overall we've been doing pretty good. Just a couple days to go and we'll have some extra cash to use on smoking future-bones and finishing this fight.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
WOW dude, respect are armed forces please, they are not going to die okay
We all die eventually. I'm just hedging bets on the next KIAs. You want in?
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
NO, I do NOT want in on these slanders okay, this is disrespectful to muhreens!
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Will you relax, they haven't even happened yet! It's just a prediction (that is more specific than usual). I bet once they die they'll turn up again revealing more descendants that were mysteriously never mentioned before.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
I'll take that action, but do both have to die in the same op? Oh and do you accept caps?
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
CRUCIAL COMEBACK GAMING SITUATION:
Promotions are passed out and the team heads for home. Basically we're all pretty psyched to be alive. But that suicide bomber's got my head all FUCKED UP dude...I'm making connections that I didn't before, and it's not just because of the 8 pills I took today. Space turbans in the first war, islamic water music and dicks in the second one, and now fucking suicide bombers...the nerds say this tango threat is from a different source than the last two, but I'm not so sure anymore.
Sorry for the radio silence gamers, tactical school is a bitch Don't worry okay, I know that I have many fans, so basically THIS ONE'S FOR THE FANS GAMERS! Press 1 for continuing the fight!!111111!
Okay so shit's been going down, okay. Apparently the sped flying the transport landed in the wrong building--the really invaded house called us into action, and the #Squad answered. SlothParty, Robo-Framer and Safety Scissors just dropped the first tango.
This is FUCKED UP dude, this place is so big...it's tough keeping guys from going too far apart from each other. Safety Scissors's team tactically parkours down to the bottom floor to check for more tangos...
While Geeky's squad holds in place. With an op range this wide and this tall, we're gonna have to stagger who moves and who stays put or this'll get FUBAR if there ever was one.
Geeze, there's more to the place?! FUCK, and there's hissing everywhere. There's probably a shit-ton of these FUCKED UP snake things waiting for us somewhere in here--
Shit, speaking of the fuckers...!
The thing rushes right at Geeky! Basically like #Roleplay dude, he just fucking opens up on it like "AHHHHHH GRANDPA THIS IS FOR YOUUUUU"
O H M Y G O D
Fuck you FUCK YOU FUCK YOU! Dude what the FUCK was that! Geeky's fucking bleeding out man holy FUCKING GOD! That was a FUCKING SUICIDE BOMBER dude, this is an ASSINATION OF LIFE that is FUCKED UP beyond belief! FUCK this, just FUCK THIS dude!
This is FUCKED UP, they're coming out of the woodworks now! There's gotta be every fucking type of the tangos in this place dude this is FUCKED UP!
Goddammit this is too much, Geeky's losing blood fast and Foulson got grazed by some of that tactical vomit that the pink things spit up. The exit's so close, if this is gonna go south then we may have to scrap the mission--
GRENADE!
BRAINFUCKER!
Holy shit, he somehow survived By some miracle Geeky got out of the tactical combat zone okay!
Foulson and Norman move in to check out the mess. FUCK that was intense, but we somehow got through with no casualties.
The last fucker bolts out of the building. He'll be dropped by authorities in a moment. We were lucky as hell gamers, we're all going home again today.
Don't worry okay, I know that I have many fans, so basically THIS ONE'S FOR THE FANS GAMERS! Press 1 for continuing the fight!!111111!
Okay so shit's been going down, okay. Apparently the sped flying the transport landed in the wrong building--the really invaded house called us into action, and the #Squad answered. SlothParty, Robo-Framer and Safety Scissors just dropped the first tango.
This is FUCKED UP dude, this place is so big...it's tough keeping guys from going too far apart from each other. Safety Scissors's team tactically parkours down to the bottom floor to check for more tangos...
While Geeky's squad holds in place. With an op range this wide and this tall, we're gonna have to stagger who moves and who stays put or this'll get FUBAR if there ever was one.
Geeze, there's more to the place?! FUCK, and there's hissing everywhere. There's probably a shit-ton of these FUCKED UP snake things waiting for us somewhere in here--
Shit, speaking of the fuckers...!
The thing rushes right at Geeky! Basically like #Roleplay dude, he just fucking opens up on it like "AHHHHHH GRANDPA THIS IS FOR YOUUUUU"
O H M Y G O D
Fuck you FUCK YOU FUCK YOU! Dude what the FUCK was that! Geeky's fucking bleeding out man holy FUCKING GOD! That was a FUCKING SUICIDE BOMBER dude, this is an ASSINATION OF LIFE that is FUCKED UP beyond belief! FUCK this, just FUCK THIS dude!
This is FUCKED UP, they're coming out of the woodworks now! There's gotta be every fucking type of the tangos in this place dude this is FUCKED UP!
Goddammit this is too much, Geeky's losing blood fast and Foulson got grazed by some of that tactical vomit that the pink things spit up. The exit's so close, if this is gonna go south then we may have to scrap the mission--
GRENADE!
BRAINFUCKER!
Holy shit, he somehow survived
By some miracle Geeky got out of the tactical combat zone okay!
Foulson and Norman move in to check out the mess. FUCK that was intense, but we somehow got through with no casualties.
The last fucker bolts out of the building. He'll be dropped by authorities in a moment. We were lucky as hell gamers, we're all going home again today.
Promotions are passed out and the team heads for home. Basically we're all pretty psyched to be alive. But that suicide bomber's got my head all FUCKED UP dude...I'm making connections that I didn't before, and it's not just because of the 8 pills I took today. Space turbans in the first war, islamic water music and dicks in the second one, and now fucking suicide bombers...the nerds say this tango threat is from a different source than the last two, but I'm not so sure anymore.