She just can't stop justifying her actions with lies. It's so stupid, she thinks if she just lies she can then go on to eat/behave however she wants, as if the only problem is the judgement of others. She'll be bedbound soon, if not already, and she still doesn't understand.
Perhaps she's reading this. If so, Amber, if you take nothing else with you then understand this: the ONLY person getting TRULY fucked over by your rationalizing, lying and incompetence is YOU. You think it's a game of justifying your actions and proving that you can make the right decisions for yourself; it's not. You are a 5'2 female who weighs well over 500 lbs because you try to rationalize the irrational. Objectively, you've already proved you can't make good decisions for your health. If no one was watching, you'd still be rationalizing to yourself, and until you understand this you will never change.
Perhaps deflecting blame is more important to you than living past 30. And I get it, I truly do. Addiction is not a rational response, it makes us champion our own deaths, live in poverty, sell our bodies, lie, cheat, steal, worry everyone we are close to and ignore blatant signs that our health is failing. This "diagnosis" of BED will be used as a crutch to further justify your behaviour and it will probably kill you.
Regardless of your diagnosis, the fact will always remain that the only person who can change your situation is you. The first step of 12 (not advocating either way, just illustrating a point) is admitting you are powerless against your addiction. I have known people who attended one meeting and went completely off the rails afterwards because they found justification in that step. Higher power or not, your fate is in your hands and no amount of excuses will ever change that.
