Horrorcow Zoe Quinn / Chelsea Van Valkenburg / Locke Valentine / @UnburntWitch / @Primeape / CrashOverride / Hat Box / Old Uncle Anime - Con Artist, Abuser, Sexual Harasser, Drove Alec Holowka to Suicide.

[Starscreams Cape]

View attachment 525517

And the idea of a warm, genuine smile continues to elude these millenial fucks.

 

[Gorilla Tessellator]

And the idea of a warm, genuine smile continues to elude these millenial fucks.

But do we really want to see her smile? At least we can avoid seeing her yellow teeth and greasy crow feet.

BTW, she slapped a ton of foundation on her in a wrong color, and applied a highlighter apparently to accentuate her pimple. Yeah, these are makeup skills of middle school girl. I though that provincial sluts at least watch makeup tutorials?

 

[Judge Dredd]

TNT is apparently turning one of her shit books into a tv show. I bet it doesn’t make it past the pilot.

Wasn't there supposed to be a film of her GamerGate book at one point? Just another unfinished project to go onto the pile.

I vaguely remember a while back that some indie book no one had heard of reached the top of the New York Times best seller list. Turned out to be some kind of elaborate scam so the author could sell the movie rights and be the star of her own film. It didn't work, but I can imagine Quinn trying something like that.

 

[Water-T]

Rebel Jam was probably put on indefinite hiatus to make Camp. There's a pattern here.

The Rebel Jam site is now up for grabs, since the domain rights have lapsed: http://www.rebelgamejam.com/
(Wayback Machine gives me an error when I try to pull snapshots past April 1, 2018, when the site last touted Rebel Jam. How apropos it happened on April Fool's Day)

The site's Twitter page hasn't been updated since May 2014: https://twitter.com/rebelgamejam?lang=en
(archived link: https://web.archive.org/web/20180823130611/https://twitter.com/rebelgamejam?lang=en)

 

[Starscreams Cape]

It didn't work, but I can imagine Quinn trying something like that.

At this point I'd be shocked if there was a scam she hadn't either tried or given serious thought to.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

Want to actually make money off of writing? Don't fucking write on the basis of winning awards. Aim for Simon Scarrow, Bernard Cornwell, Suzanne Collins hell, even fucking J.K Rowling. Don't aim to win awards. They really don't offer much of a boost to you and people who write only to win awards are paper thin hacks with ego's to rival the Chrysler Building.

Quite true. Terry Pratchett once remarked that while awards were nice, going home and falling backwards into sacks of cash helped.

Larry Correia unashamedly writes what amounts to the literary equivalent of SyFy made-for-TV movies (okay, they're a LITTLE better than that. But not by much). He's building a mansion in Utah now.

Heinlein was right: the most beautiful prose in the English language is, 'Pay to the order of...'

 

[Mellorine]

I vaguely remember a while back that some indie book no one had heard of reached the top of the New York Times best seller list. Turned out to be some kind of elaborate scam so the author could sell the movie rights and be the star of her own film. It didn't work, but I can imagine Quinn trying something like that.

You're thinking of Lani Sarem's Handbook For Mortals, which even had traced cover art. It's a pretty great story, if anyone's interested. However, doing bulk-buys of your own book requires a fair amount of cash on hand that's tricky to recoup. (Scientologists were infamous for doing much the same to keep Hubbard's novels as actively charting big-sellers.)

 

[Haramburger]

Quinn covets that undefined narrative design role(I'm pretty sure her desired role is being the "idea guy"), and now that comic book adaptions are huge she probably sees this as THE chance to get a foot in the door, god knows that Paul Blart Staring Contest Simulator won't ever get her any opportunities like that.

Your life is pretty sad when you aspire to upgrade your life into Dan Harmon-mode.

 

[BrigadeLeader]

Is Zoe lower then Harmon? Genuinely, Zoe had a "career" and influence over an entire industry, but that waned as she squandered her empire. Harmon is massively successful with Rick and Morty, but also called like half of the country Nazi's, is revealed to have a strange obsession with child rape jokes, and if his PBS comedy where he humps baby dolls as stand ins for rapists and murders as infants, is any indication, doesn't understand the raping kids fucks them up in the first place.

Edit: Forgot to wrap it up
Zoe at least doesn't seem to buy into her own bullshit, Harmon does and when he does fall wouldn't believing that the "Nazi's" beat you make him fall lower then a cheap and unsuccessful scam artist?

 

[Haramburger]

Is Zoe lower then Harmon?

Simply put, yes. Dan's a successful TV writer and even if most of his shit is stealing credit or managing people, he's getting legit paychecks from corporations and contract money. Chelsea is still panhandling and crowdfund scamming to get by, and has created nothing.

 

[TheMonkeyMan]

Take this with an ocean's worth of salt:

"I think she's going to have to be taken to court before any of this gets resolved. Not that anyone seems willing to do that.

Anyway, I recently became privy to an interesting bit of information that was put together from bits of info collected from various sources since before GG even started, including from Morgan Webb herself (allegedly).

The reason why Quinn is constantly in need of cash, is such a flake on her deals, and why her physique is always changing is because she's a cocaine addict. Moreover, that's how she, Adam Sessler and Phil Fish know each other; Fish is/was their dealer. MOREOVER, Fish and Sessler are the two missing "Five Guys." That's why Lifshitz went radio silent years ago, she was bringing the kind of heat into things that his daddy finally had to put his foot down on. Morgan supposedly put her foot down with Adam about his drug habit and his involvement with Quinn as a requirement for her to keep trying to get work for him; Sessler's wife is her friend and knew what was going on.

Anyway, I still don't have all the deets and no one has publicly put their names to this, but it explains a lot if true."

When someone asked "Any proof? This sounds pretty extreme.", the poster responded:

"Unless someone is willing to put their name on it, not likely. Maybe Webb would say something, but talking about Quinn as anything less than a saint is career poison.

This was mostly put together via small details on Kiwi farms, 8ch and something awful archives with some testimony from a couple of her exes filling in some gaps. Lifshitz would be the one to put the nail on this, but good luck even finding him now. Shit, he might even be dead."

I think that the whole thing is too ridiculous to be true, even by GG standards.

 

[DrPrincessMeatball]

I think if she was doing blow she wouldn't be so doughy.

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

Simply put, yes. Dan's a successful TV writer and even if most of his shit is stealing credit or managing people, he's getting legit paychecks from corporations and contract money. Chelsea is still panhandling and crowdfund scamming to get by, and has created nothing.

I mean Dan's a piece of shit, but nobody can seriously argue he isn't also an enormous success.

 

[Oh Shit I'm Sorry]

Take this with an ocean's worth of salt:

"I think she's going to have to be taken to court before any of this gets resolved. Not that anyone seems willing to do that.

Anyway, I recently became privy to an interesting bit of information that was put together from bits of info collected from various sources since before GG even started, including from Morgan Webb herself (allegedly).

The reason why Quinn is constantly in need of cash, is such a flake on her deals, and why her physique is always changing is because she's a cocaine addict. Moreover, that's how she, Adam Sessler and Phil Fish know each other; Fish is/was their dealer. MOREOVER, Fish and Sessler are the two missing "Five Guys." That's why Lifshitz went radio silent years ago, she was bringing the kind of heat into things that his daddy finally had to put his foot down on. Morgan supposedly put her foot down with Adam about his drug habit and his involvement with Quinn as a requirement for her to keep trying to get work for him; Sessler's wife is her friend and knew what was going on.

Anyway, I still don't have all the deets and no one has publicly put their names to this, but it explains a lot if true."

When someone asked "Any proof? This sounds pretty extreme.", the poster responded:

"Unless someone is willing to put their name on it, not likely. Maybe Webb would say something, but talking about Quinn as anything less than a saint is career poison.

This was mostly put together via small details on Kiwi farms, 8ch and something awful archives with some testimony from a couple of her exes filling in some gaps. Lifshitz would be the one to put the nail on this, but good luck even finding him now. Shit, he might even be dead."

I think that the whole thing is too ridiculous to be true, even by GG standards.

The idea of Fish being competent enough to actually be a drug dealer is a hilarious one.

Spoiler

We should send this to KoP and see if he'll verify it.

 

[SiccDicc]

The idea of Fish being competent enough to actually be a drug dealer is a hilarious one.

Spoiler

We should send this to KoP and see if he'll verify it.

Much more likely he bought it from an actual dealer and just shared it to those leeches.

 

[AnOminous]

The idea of Fish being competent enough to actually be a drug dealer is a hilarious one.

Spoiler

We should send this to KoP and see if he'll verify it.

Someone who acts like Fish and was a drug dealer would have been shot in the face long ago.

 

[Trombonista]

Take this with an ocean's worth of salt:

"I think she's going to have to be taken to court before any of this gets resolved. Not that anyone seems willing to do that.

Anyway, I recently became privy to an interesting bit of information that was put together from bits of info collected from various sources since before GG even started, including from Morgan Webb herself (allegedly).

The reason why Quinn is constantly in need of cash, is such a flake on her deals, and why her physique is always changing is because she's a cocaine addict. Moreover, that's how she, Adam Sessler and Phil Fish know each other; Fish is/was their dealer. MOREOVER, Fish and Sessler are the two missing "Five Guys." That's why Lifshitz went radio silent years ago, she was bringing the kind of heat into things that his daddy finally had to put his foot down on. Morgan supposedly put her foot down with Adam about his drug habit and his involvement with Quinn as a requirement for her to keep trying to get work for him; Sessler's wife is her friend and knew what was going on.

Anyway, I still don't have all the deets and no one has publicly put their names to this, but it explains a lot if true."

When someone asked "Any proof? This sounds pretty extreme.", the poster responded:

"Unless someone is willing to put their name on it, not likely. Maybe Webb would say something, but talking about Quinn as anything less than a saint is career poison.

This was mostly put together via small details on Kiwi farms, 8ch and something awful archives with some testimony from a couple of her exes filling in some gaps. Lifshitz would be the one to put the nail on this, but good luck even finding him now. Shit, he might even be dead."

I think that the whole thing is too ridiculous to be true, even by GG standards.

Yeah, this is bullshit.

 

[Judge Dredd]

That much detail makes it seem like a conspiracy theory. Most of that stuff isn't needed to explain what's going on. It doesn't explain why Quinn keeps getting so much work. If being addicted to coke was enough to get you your own DC comic and 2k a month on Patreon, why isn't Charlie Sheen running Marvel at this point?

I didn't follow the 5 Guys side of GG that much, so I guess someone like @Jaimas would be the one to ask, but didn't the last 2 guys get confirmed by Gjoni at some point?

As for that being the leverage she has against the indie devs and game journalists? It's certainly possible, but I think we would have seen it by now instead of vague accusations that such and so is abusive or sexist or whatever other accusations she's thrown at people who crossed her.

That said, being a stoner or drug dealer fits right in with Quinn's list of "quirky" career choices and personality. I can easily imagine her starting one of those legal dispensaries and then giving up as soon as she had to fill out the paperwork, or acting like she's some kind of cartel leader because she has a window box of cannabis in the attic.

 

[Richard Stabone]

Her weight fluctuates because she's a lazy pig who likes to eat. She is in need of cash because she doesn't have a job outside of grifting.

 

[NotAWeeb]

So I guess after that failure of an FMV game Kickstarter, she sucked out every last bit of good will from the gaming crowd and is now trying to squeeze into the comic industry. Hopefully her work in the comic industry amounts to more than her work in the games industry which was just a few paragraphs about being depressed for no reason.