Tupacalypse Baseless Speculation Thread

[DeagleDad420]

So I'm just catching up on Eli's videos and I've got a question: How did he upload these things?
Some inherent problems if Eli is an idiot:

1. He is filming on an actual camcorder and not his phone, as evidenced by the CCD streaking. He must be uploading from a laptop
2. If he's on a laptop, he's either using his phone or some free wifi, but...
3. There isn't a lot of free wifi in Tel Aviv (from personal experience), and
4. It actually takes some planning to stay connected to a cell network overseas.

Any ideas how a retarded stoner like Eli managed to find both shelter and internet so quickly when he couldn't even find a currency exchange for days? Is it possible that he's actually part of Gamerfood?

He has a laptop with him and he's staying at fancy hotels which feature Wi-Fi. These hotels are paid for by Jace. In nearly ALL of the videos he's within literally like two blocks of the same fucking hotel, so it isn't a stretch to say he could have just walked back to his room and uploaded them there. Not sure about #4 but like, that's a really simple answer: "they planned it".

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

He has a laptop with him and he's staying at fancy hotels which feature Wi-Fi. These hotels are paid for by Jace. In nearly ALL of the videos he's within literally like two blocks of the same fucking hotel, so it isn't a stretch to say he could have just walked back to his room and uploaded them there. Not sure about #4 but like, that's a really simple answer: "they planned it".

I thought he was staying in a cheap hostel since he uploaded the video of those turkish guys he was sharing a room with who were (in his eyes) planning an Islam plot, but most likely (in my eyes) trying to figure out where to score some hash

 

[DeagleDad420]

I thought he was staying in a cheap hostel since he uploaded the video of those turkish guys he was sharing a room with who were (in his eyes) planning an Islam plot, but most likely (in my eyes) trying to figure out where to score some hash

He moves between hotels because he thinks it makes him harder to track down or something. See the time he was staying in that hostel and literally ran out of the kitchen and jumped off the fucking 2nd story balcony and ran away because he thought that Turkish guy was a Gamerfood spy who poisoned his morning cereal.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

He's at Torah Camp, goddammit! Then again, the only way out of any kind of religious summer camp or whatever is to kill yourself or parkour over the fence with two sick deagles in your hands which only Commander Stryker himself can pull off, so yeah, he's probably dead.

 

[Sammy]

Eli used all the same drugs the rest of Deagle Nation did, right? Unless he somehow managed to smuggle some weed rations over when he travelled (HIGHLY doubtful), or built a jenkem farm in an alleyway (and somehow avoided local law enforcement), He's probably pretty sober right now. My current baseless speculation makes me wonder if he simply dried out, looked at his situation with a clear head, realized how utterly fucked up he was for agreeing to assassinate a world leader in a war zone using a toy wooden crossbow in payment for an Xbox One at the whims of a paranoid psychopath whose really no real friend at all but someone who manipulated Eli's drug addiction and put him into absurdly dangerous scenarios, and just kinda said, "No" to it all.

 

[The Mass Debater]

I just don't understand why he would be ok with being alone in a foreign country he understands nothing about and has no interest in for months. It would take a normal person like what, two weeks of achieving nothing to get sick of that? He's a brain damaged stoner presumably with an attention span below that of the mice currently destroying his home whose life up until this point was hanging around with other people like him. How did he not have a complete breakdown within two days of stepping foot in Tel Aviv? How the fuck is he content with runescape, jacking off and no meaningful contact with anyone he knows for months? Even Chris would hate that.

 

[DeagleDad420]

How the fuck is he content with runescape, jacking off and no meaningful contact with anyone he knows for months?

This is why Eli is my favorite person. He is a teen stoner/hedonist but to it's logical conclusion, to the point where nobody on earth besides him can even conceive of how anything he does could be considered "fun". He is literally a complete nihilist who has no concept of absolutely anything in life existing other than the dumbest shallow pleasures he can find and he would be totally fine (in fact ecstatic) if you locked him in a sensory deprivation tank for the rest of his life as long as you gave him a Fleshlight, plenty of weed, and a laptop with which to play Runescape.

 

[KingofManga420]

This is why Eli is my favorite person. He is a teen stoner/hedonist but to it's logical conclusion, to the point where nobody on earth besides him can even conceive of how anything he does could be considered "fun". He is literally a complete nihilist who has no concept of absolutely anything in life existing other than the dumbest shallow pleasures he can find and he would be totally fine (in fact ecstatic) if you locked him in a sensory deprivation tank for the rest of his life as long as you gave him a Fleshlight, plenty of weed, and a laptop with which to play Runescape.

This is exactly why I want him to live and come back so you and CIADude420 can write him into the script as a reoccurring character.

 

[Linako 2.0]

Eli's story will become a modern retelling of Homer's The Odyssey.

 

[get-tar hero]

I'm assuming he ran out of money and he used the precious little battery life in his devices to watch porn and play runescape. He was then stranded with no way of communicating with his commander at which point he died.

 

[Burned Man]

Eli is an orphan that Jace raised as a child soldier and that's why no one cares he is missing.

 

[ChuckSlaughter]

This is why Eli is my favorite person. He is a teen stoner/hedonist but to it's logical conclusion, to the point where nobody on earth besides him can even conceive of how anything he does could be considered "fun". He is literally a complete nihilist who has no concept of absolutely anything in life existing other than the dumbest shallow pleasures he can find and he would be totally fine (in fact ecstatic) if you locked him in a sensory deprivation tank for the rest of his life as long as you gave him a Fleshlight, plenty of weed, and a laptop with which to play Runescape.

This describes me

 

[KingofManga420]

Well guys this thread had a good 4 day run.

 

[Dutchbash]

We can still discuss what is going to happen to Jace and Tyce now that Eli is coming home to an mice infested cottage-turned growning op with possible jenkem farming.

More important: are we ever going to hear more from eli after he returns?

 

[KingofManga420]

We can still discuss what is going to happen to Jace and Tyce now that Eli is coming home to an mice infested cottage-turned growning op with possible jenkem farming.

More important: are we ever going to hear more from eli after he returns?

Well DD fucking loves Eli judging from his post up there, so I'm pretty sure Tupacalypse will not be the last we hear from him if he has his say.

 

[DeagleDad420]

Well DD fucking loves Eli judging from his post up there, so I'm pretty sure Tupacalypse will not be the last we hear from him if he has his say.

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I'm not God. I have no real way of coercing Eli/Tyce to do anything much because its kind of a crapshoot whether they will listen. Jace is the only one who is nearly 100% suggestable.

 

[KingofManga420]

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I'm not God. I have no real way of coercing Eli/Tyce to do anything much because its kind of a crapshoot whether they will listen. Jace is the only one who is nearly 100% suggestable.

Yeah. Didn't mean to make it sound like you were god, only that you want Eli around more and that you'll probably try. So there's a small bit of hope.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Eli used all the same drugs the rest of Deagle Nation did, right? Unless he somehow managed to smuggle some weed rations over when he travelled (HIGHLY doubtful), or built a jenkem farm in an alleyway (and somehow avoided local law enforcement), He's probably pretty sober right now. My current baseless speculation makes me wonder if he simply dried out, looked at his situation with a clear head, realized how utterly fucked up he was for agreeing to assassinate a world leader in a war zone using a toy wooden crossbow in payment for an Xbox One at the whims of a paranoid psychopath whose really no real friend at all but someone who manipulated Eli's drug addiction and put him into absurdly dangerous scenarios, and just kinda said, "No" to it all.

From what I've heard, it's pretty easy to get drugs in Israel.

 

[Konstantinos]

What if Eli gets to the pyramids and he tries raiding them to see if there's any #EasyMoney inside and he ends up getting attacked by Islam mummies?

 

[exball]

What is Eli gets to the pyramids and he tries raiding them to see if there's any #EasyMoney inside and he ends up getting attacked by Islam mummies?

Dude, that is realistic content on this site.