Social Media Indians - DESIGNATED SHITTING THREAD

[KimCoppolaAficionado]

Frankly I find it equally horrifying and fascinating just how many languages those are. That ought to throw a wrench into the indian goverment's workings. Their forms must not be in triplicate but ... centicate?

Hungarian a thousand years ago differed as much from current one as American English from Scottish English. For one who could very well read the writing of a thousand years dead ancestors, more than a hundred languages existing at the same time in a single country, no matter how big, sounds extremely .... outre and weird. Like something from a bizarro world style comic book.

Even in the US, which is lolhueg, you can still get by if you speak English, Spanish, and ghetto. That's three at best, not a hundred! I think the situation that a hundred+ languages put on a goverment must be equally hilarious, annoying and horrifying.

Do they got at least a single language that all speak? Or are intranational translators required if a northern indian wants to buy a cow from a south indian?

Most know some form of pidgin Hindi or Tamil that allows them to get by.

 

[Corn Sake]

 

[Linako 2.0]

I had a Pakistani co-worker once who really didn't like how Indian immigrants act here in the USA. At one point he hung up the phone and said, to me, "Indian people, they are all so cheap!" like he was expecting me to agree. Then he mentioned they're really obnoxious on Facebook and and said he hates being mistaken for Indian. I didn't get it until I read this thread.

Semper Fi, former Pakistani co-worker.

Had an Indian coworker who hated Indian people. He was from a northern well to do family and I guess most of the immigrants in the area were from poorer southern India. So they’d ask him for discounts all the time at his sales and restaurant jobs. He called them lazy a lot and would rant about how shitty southern Indians are. They’d try to talk to him in mudspeak but I guess the regional dialects are so different he couldn’t understand them. Not even native born Indians like native born Indians.

As someone who lived in a city with alot of pahjeet in it, I can tell you that your coworkers are absolutley on point.
did they also mention how Pahjeets always try to negotiate and can never take "no" for an answer?

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

Most know some form of pidgin Hindi or Tamil that allows them to get by.

A lot them also speak do the needful Hinglish. One of the things the British Raj did was mandate that English be taught in the education system as an effort to modernize the country, but, you know, India. It was a broken fucking mess. It ends up with them shouting at/over each other in a language that neither of them fully understand.

 

[Spunt]

Yeah, English is still the governmental language of India over 70 years after the British left because picking another "official" language from the hundreds spoken in the country would effectively be massively favouring one of its many fractious and angry ethnic and religious groups over the others and would probably lead to civil war. So everyone bumbles along using various pidgin versions of the old colonial language because it's more conducive to keeping the peace to use a language that nobody speaks well rather than one that some speak well and others don't speak at all. Much of Africa is similar.

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

Frankly I find it equally horrifying and fascinating just how many languages those are. That ought to throw a wrench into the indian goverment's workings. Their forms must not be in triplicate but ... centicate?

Hungarian a thousand years ago differed as much from current one as American English from Scottish English. For one who could very well read the writing of a thousand years dead ancestors, more than a hundred languages existing at the same time in a single country, no matter how big, sounds extremely .... outre and weird. Like something from a bizarro world style comic book.

Even in the US, which is lolhueg, you can still get by if you speak English, Spanish, and ghetto. That's three at best, not a hundred! I think the situation that a hundred+ languages put on a goverment must be equally hilarious, annoying and horrifying.

Do they got at least a single language that all speak? Or are intranational translators required if a northern indian wants to buy a cow from a south indian?

the official languages of India are Hindi and English - all official publications are in Hindi and English, and English serves as a lingua franca for the 1/3 of the country that doesn't (and/or won't) speak Hindi

in newspapers and government publications, the written English reads like pre-war British English and is of a much higher grammatical standard than it is in comparable publications in the UK (because the writers have not been subjected to the myriad of fuckwitted educational experiments and reforms that have taken place over here during the last 50 years)

(fftopic:: on the subject of linguistic variations, English itself has changed at such a rapid rate that the English spoken 1,000 years ago is closer to Icelandic or ancient Germanic than modern English, and is for the most part utterly incomprehensible to modern readers or speakers)

 

[float]

Also somewhat fftopic: - At an old IT gig, an Indian co-worker (shockingly, one of only two who worked there!) informed me there are over 3000 languages spoken in India. Three thousand. I'm not quite sure if I believe that, but with a population over a billion, I guess it's not entirely far-fetched.

That and the indigenous populations of the Andaman islands (just south of India proper) have multiple languages unrelated to anything else in the world. Don't get your hopes up though, those people live in Bronze-Age (or Stone-Age) conditions. One group can't make fire. But luckily other Indians can.

 

[Linako 2.0]

Also somewhat fftopic: - At an old IT gig, an Indian co-worker (shockingly, one of only two who worked there!) informed me there are over 3000 languages spoken in India. Three thousand. I'm not quite sure if I believe that, but with a population over a billion, I guess it's not entirely far-fetched.

That and the indigenous populations of the Andaman islands (just south of India proper) have multiple languages unrelated to anything else in the world. Don't get your hopes up though, those people live in Bronze-Age (or Stone-Age) conditions. One group can't make fire. But luckily other Indians can.

D4NNY is a credit to the Dravidian race

 

[Kršćanin Čendlervic]

Yammy pleasure water dear

 

[Jaded Optimist]

 

[queerape]

Frankly I find it equally horrifying and fascinating just how many languages those are. That ought to throw a wrench into the indian goverment's workings. Their forms must not be in triplicate but ... centicate?

Hungarian a thousand years ago differed as much from current one as American English from Scottish English. For one who could very well read the writing of a thousand years dead ancestors, more than a hundred languages existing at the same time in a single country, no matter how big, sounds extremely .... outre and weird. Like something from a bizarro world style comic book.

Even in the US, which is lolhueg, you can still get by if you speak English, Spanish, and ghetto. That's three at best, not a hundred! I think the situation that a hundred+ languages put on a goverment must be equally hilarious, annoying and horrifying.

Do they got at least a single language that all speak? Or are intranational translators required if a northern indian wants to buy a cow from a south indian?

Most people in India speak either Hindi or Tamil, but in the South, most people living in major cities like Chennai at least know some Hindi. The different languages in the North (Punjabi, Bihari, Bhojpuri, Gariwali, Urdu, Haryanvi , Gujrathi, Marathi etc) don't differ terribly much from each other and from Hindi, are usually at least partially if not fully mutually intelligible with each other and Hindi. In addition, more and more people speak English in India, and English is quickly becoming a language that almost anyone can use no matter where.

 

[AmpleApricots]

India is like the entire world would be when everyone was re.tarded. When I google something, especially something IT-related, and see either the authors' name or profile pic is indian I just close the site because in most cases it's utter nonsense. I'd pay extra for an indian-free internet at this point.

 

[The Decimator]

but theyre not niggers

they're asians

Wrong! They’re SOUTH Asians! Think about that next time, you ableist!

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

Wrong! They’re SOUTH Asians! Think about that next time, you ableist!

i feel bad for chinese/japanese/koreans/etc. who get lumped in with indians. and actually there's a big problem with indian men raping women in northeast india who are asian in the mongoloid sense.

 

[uncleShitHeel]

India is like the entire world would be when everyone was re.tarded. When I google something, especially something IT-related, and see either the authors' name or profile pic is indian I just close the site because in most cases it's utter nonsense. I'd pay extra for an indian-free internet at this point.

They shit up stackoverflow, by asking nonsensical questions, offering fucking moronic solutions (build management tools are for jerks, manually import all the jars), or my favourite of all time, which is simply asking for a complete solution and then bitching when one is delivered by some naïve idiot.

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

They shit up stackoverflow, by asking nonsensical questions, offering fucking moronic solutions (build management tools are for jerks, manually import all the jars), or my favourite of all time, which is simply asking for a complete solution and then bitching when one is delivered by some naïve idiot.

Don't forget clogging up the boards with "I'm scamming the guest worker visa system, do my job for me" hinglish panic posts.

 

[Corn Sake]

 

[Corn Sake]

I could go on and on...

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

 

[ADN_VIII]

I'm working on tracking down the social media profile of a guildmate in SWTOR. Guy occasionally slips Hinglish in both our guild discord and game chat but what drew my attention was his recent interactions with an ERP guild, The Escorts.

For those blessed among us who don't know, ERP is when two presumably male adults who play as female characters in a game have sexual roleplay. If you've heard of healslutting, that's what it is.

Anyway, every Friday night the escorts have a cantina night on their guild flagship/HQ. Pajeet, being horny and dimwitted, goes to it in the vain hope of getting e poontang. From what I gather, in the hour or two he was at the event he managed to try and get with every escort there and not pay. So fleet chat lights up with statements that pajeet is a liar and a cheat and no self respecting (lol) escort would ever work for him. He comes back to our guild flagship, all dejected, and starts filling guild chat with "woe is me" style invective about how he was just misunderstood and didn't mean to not pay and that he's just a F2P without a lot of credits. I didn't have the presence of mind to grab screenshots but I'm betting there's more funny shit if I can track it down.