r/polyamory

View attachment 547695 https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9i2vpa/husband_has_come_out_as_poly/

This woman has the right idea, the comments say differently:


You could chalk it up to poly people being dumb and porn-worshiping idiots who think that relationships and sexuality are all about looking cool on the internet and not about how to be happy for the rest of your life. You could also blame it on people only willing to support same sex relationships when it looks hot to mouth breathers and porn addicts and not when it's for people accepting themselves.
The woman in the OP is normal and society would literally fucking collapse if the majority of heterosexuals were into polyamory. It isn't sustainable for a bunch of reasons, but it mostly boils down to child rearing. I'm sick of these reddit weirdos making it look like accepting polyamory is a moral imperative. They treat it like a sexual orientation when it's not, from what I can tell it's just immaturity.
 

this poor lady needs to grow a spine. "he can't choose his poly" -- no, he can absolutely choose to not fuck around. it's not "awful" to be mad when you notice that you're disproportionately invested in your marriage. fuckhead can't see far enough past his dick to know that there's no plausible reaction to asking "can i sleep with someone else" other than "what the fuck, no" followed by feelings of betrayal and rejection. he knew he could crush his wife and damage his marriage permanently, but decided this was a risk worth taking
 
this poor lady needs to grow a spine. "he can't choose his poly" -- no, he can absolutely choose to not fuck around. it's not "awful" to be mad when you notice that you're disproportionately invested in your marriage. fuckhead can't see far enough past his dick to know that there's no plausible reaction to asking "can i sleep with someone else" other than "what the fuck, no" followed by feelings of betrayal and rejection. he knew he could crush his wife and damage his marriage permanently, but decided this was a risk worth taking

Exactly. The whole "X came out as poly". No, he came out and said he wants to fuck other people.
 
this poor lady needs to grow a spine. "he can't choose his poly" -- no, he can absolutely choose to not fuck around. it's not "awful" to be mad when you notice that you're disproportionately invested in your marriage. fuckhead can't see far enough past his dick to know that there's no plausible reaction to asking "can i sleep with someone else" other than "what the fuck, no" followed by feelings of betrayal and rejection. he knew he could crush his wife and damage his marriage permanently, but decided this was a risk worth taking
The way they're trying to justify their behavior by treating it like a sexual orientation - talking about coming out of the poly closet and how they didn't choose to be this way etc - makes my eyes roll so far back into my head I can see my brain. I am so tired of every sexual deviant on the internet trying to legitimize their behavior by comparing it to homosexuality. Last time I checked, you can in fact choose to keep it in your pants. You're not born sexually promiscuous and disloyal, those are traits you acquire by being a lousy person.
 
i maintain that if you are going to compare being poly to being gay, call poly an orientation, etc., you need to do the same thing a gay man would do if he's married to a woman and comes out: get a divorce.

The woman in the OP is normal and society would literally fucking collapse if the majority of heterosexuals were into polyamory. It isn't sustainable for a bunch of reasons, but it mostly boils down to child rearing. I'm sick of these reddit weirdos making it look like accepting polyamory is a moral imperative. They treat it like a sexual orientation when it's not, from what I can tell it's just immaturity.
traditional polygamy--where one man has multiple wives and it's a 'closed relationship'--probably works out okay-ish since it's stable, but this winds up being bad later because sons wind up getting kicked out since there's not enough wives for everyone (google 'lost boys flds'). but this kind of polyamory where the parents' affections are constantly going toward new people and they're constantly bringing new people home is...not great.
 
traditional polygamy--where one man has multiple wives and it's a 'closed relationship'--probably works out okay-ish since it's stable

idk about you but my idea of “stable relationship” isn’t wealthy and powerful men marrying multiple significantly less educated women from third world countries who likely don’t have the power to say no, or a bunch of white trash women agreeing to let the same redneck fuck them because, like, god told them that was how it was supposed to be or something.
 
Exactly. The whole "X came out as poly". No, he came out and said he wants to fuck other people.

I agree with you, but I'll add on that the implication is even worse than that. Swingers just want to fuck other people, he wants the right to have whole ass romantic relationships with people other than the one he married.
 
idk about you but my idea of “stable relationship” isn’t wealthy and powerful men marrying multiple significantly less educated women from third world countries who likely don’t have the power to say no, or a bunch of white trash women agreeing to let the same redneck fuck them because, like, god told them that was how it was supposed to be or something.
i meant stable as in adults aren't constantly entering/leaving, sorry for not being more clear. whereas it seems like in r/polyamory a 2 year relationship is considered a long time.
 
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https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9ilu64/poly_struggles_mono_ish_husband_poly_wife/

These people really are sickeningly entitled and shortsighted
 

What a well-adjusted individual.

Just visited my therapist and she said that almost all of her clients are experiencing heightened anxiety post election. Figured I was done being scared to voice my beliefs and so I used the stuff she said about her clients as a segue to talk about my personal anxieties and feelings about anarchism. She shut me down and said she was "concerned" that I feel the way I do. Time to find a new therapist I guess.
My state's shitty laws made it super hard to get one (Tanner Note - She's referring to an abortion), plus the nearest one was an hour by bus (I had no car). Worse yet, I found out right before I was to study abroad for 6 weeks. Stuck in a country where abortions are illegal, I was 8 weeks pregnant with full blown morning sickness while simultaneously experiencing jet lag. Because I was scared of the procedure and in a different country, I was too paralyzed to act and by the time I got home I just resigned myself to keeping the baby.
(From r/latestagecapitalism, pro communism sub)I’m still stuck in the system: I have a baby, a spouse, and a teaching job. But I feel so disillusioned by all of it. I want to tell my daughter, when she’s old enough, how the world really works
 
What a well-adjusted individual.
drumpf made her wish her baby were dead
Therapy has helped a little bit, but since the election it's gotten a lot harder to not feel guilt over my "choice" to keep her.
2 years later and I still love her, but on the darker days I find myself apologizing to her.
imagine this person shaping your earliest notions of the outside world. lady, if you love your kid, don't burden her with your depressive bullshit

this next post almost invites sympathy, until you realize "doing things for herself" actually means destabilizing her family because she thinks she hasn't had enough random sex
I've also gotten lots of shit for having a kid "so early" and that my life is wasted because I haven't been traveling the world and living it up. The parenting part is easy. The shaming I get from peers is the hard part. Shaming from older folks (boomers particularly) is rough as well. They make me feel like shit for doing things for myself, and essentially tell me that losing my old identity and becoming "just a mother" is admirable and honorable...essentially the "goal" of motherhood. No thanks!
the only real misogynists i know are women who had unstable, bitter mothers like this. her kid's gonna hate her, if not all women by extension
 
The kid is a girl...is that better or worse than the kid being a boy? I feel like worse, because I can really easily see her becoming that twelve/thirteen year old girl who wears eight pounds of makeup and gets with older men she meets on the internet, 'cause momma is not gonna be raising her with healthy views on relationships.
 
She's so blatantly manipulative, too. The way it starts, it sounds like the husband is the one responsible for the poly shit, that he can't get laid and she's a victim of his rules. Then she outs herself. She's the one who started this. She's the one who can't obey the rules she agreed to. She's the one who is angry that she can't cheat on her husband all the time.
 

If all 43 pages of this thread supply any evidence, their relationship is as good as finished.

I can't help myself from diving in on these people. It always works.
I am 5'9, 300lbs
So, I have essentially been mourning this man for the better part of a year
- She's been dragging out this poly breakup for a year.
This pretty much sums up my last couple of relationships :-/
- This wasn't her only recent one sided relationship.
it nags at me that I may be doing my son (currently 6) a terrible wrong by not raising him to believe in Christianity.
- Of course there's a kid
 
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