r/polyamory

[sperginity]

'I'm not being a bad parent right poly echo chamber???? RIGHT????'

Bitch. You're ignoring your child in favour of your husband and yours bangbuddy. She's confusing and hurting this kid and her family is absolutely right. It's going to fuck up this poor girl. There is a big difference in normal jealousy between siblings and jealousy over an adult that was brought into their home and is taking time away from them.

That girl seems like she's on the verge of puberty (if she's not, its going to be 10x worse when she is). It's a time when family dynamics send all kinds of messages to kids about their future as a woman/man. Polygamous relationships mess girls up really badly. Every female in that house (mom, girlfriend, daughter) is trying to get emotionally close to the man and none of them get to. In a woke household, it might be enough to make a predisposed youth troon out.

 

[Big Nasty]

My experiences with a polyamorous woman (no, not that kind of experiences):

Back when I was in high school, there was this girl who went to a different high school but sometimes showed up at mine to... yeah... play board games.

She was called "Fish" because she smelled bad. She was tall, lanky and had greasy hair and bad acne. From what I heard, she came from a somewhat strange family, where the dad and her brother were apparently OK guys but she, her sister and their mom were wackos who really disliked washing themselves.

Fast forward to some 8 years after I've graduated high school. Fish shows up in my new home town and starts working at this bar that I'm a regular at. She has turned into one hefty mama and grown a gigantic horse ass. She has lost the bad smell and most of the acne though.

Fish kinda keeps her distance from me, even though I know here from "before". After a while, I hear from these guys I know that she's hitting pretty heavily on them, despite being married to a bald beardo of guy. The I start hearing all sorts of weird things: Apparently Fish and Bald Beardo are involved in the polyamory/swingers scene in another town.

After about 6 months, shit hits the fan and Fish is fired from the bar because it is discovered that she's stolen about $5000 worth of money from the safe. She appears in court and tries to plead temporary insanity by claiming that she had a miscarriage at the time. Eventually, she pleads guilty to theft, but a lesser amount than what had actually been stolen. The bar decides not to take it to a higher court and she is formally banned for life.

After this she has a kid with Baldo Beardo, then divorces him. She starts trolling dating sites, playing up the "single mom in need of a man" angle. She also has a "dating blog" where she reviews dates and speaks ill of those who don't measure up to her standards.

I haven't checked in a while, but she used to have a fairly active social media presence. You see, she's has been into LARPing for a long time and if you search for (Fish's actual first name) + LARP, one of the top results is a pic of Fish dressed up as a classy half-orc prostitute or whatever. She's tried her hand at modelling, so there is quite an assortment of pics available on the net where she looks like absolute trash.

To sum it all up: She's bangable, if you are into chunky asses, greasy hair and broads who will shit talk you after you've boned them.

For those of you who were wondering what this chick looked like, take a look at the pics in the LagoonaBlue thread. She basically has her looks, but ginger and with bigger tits.

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

Sounds like the little kid needs to learn about compersion and stuff that jealousy deep down inside like a good metamour.

This might be the first mother/child or father/child relationship destroyed by polyamory, instead of the usual Boyfriend/Girlfriend or Husband/Wife relationship.

Speaking in general not necessarily poly sense, I believe that children should have little to no say if their parent(s) date and who they date. The parent definitely should listen kids objections out. Not only can this itself sort the situation out (kids just needing to went/figure out their feelings), there might be side to their new sweetie that they haven’t seen or their time management needs reworking. Generally a parent just need be mindful that their dating won’t hurt their kids. For example by disturbing already existing social bonds, like dating their kids’ teacher, coach or friends (creepy but as long as they are of legal age).

That to be said if a parent wants move in with their new honeybun and kids live with that parent, then kids should have almost full veto power. If a kid is being just bratty or is moving out soon anyway, then maybe parent should override but otherwise kids should have right not to live with an adult stranger. Kids especially need their home be place to rest and vent safely. Just to be clear, I’m not talking just about boy/girlfriends but also taking care of sickly grandma for rest of her life, taking in financially unstable friend indefinitely or just a new creepy roommate. If the kids have to deal with them daily then their concerns should have very heavy weight because unlike adults kids can’t just leave (it might even be illegal).

This case it should be pretty clear that the daughter’s needs should be above Sally being there. The parents don’t have to break up with her (just being realistic, at least the wife seems to be soooo into poly) but Sally should find her own place. The daughter should have her parents being mainly her parents when they are at home, rather than balancing out parent and Sally’s sweetheart roles. Quite frankly sounds like there is no time when the mother, the father and the daughter spend time alone without Sally. They tried out poly living but it wasn’t working out for the kid, so they should go back what was working (assuming just dating was working).

 

[Tanner Glass]

Speaking in general not necessarily poly sense, I believe that children should have little to no say if their parent(s) date and who they date. The parent definitely should listen kids objections out. Not only can this itself sort the situation out (kids just needing to went/figure out their feelings), there might be side to their new sweetie that they haven’t seen or their time management needs reworking. Generally a parent just need be mindful that their dating won’t hurt their kids. For example by disturbing already existing social bonds, like dating their kids’ teacher, coach or friends (creepy but as long as they are of legal age).

That to be said if a parent wants move in with their new honeybun and kids live with that parent, then kids should have almost full veto power. If a kid is being just bratty or is moving out soon anyway, then maybe parent should override but otherwise kids should have right not to live with an adult stranger. Kids especially need their home be place to rest and vent safely. Just to be clear, I’m not talking just about boy/girlfriends but also taking care of sickly grandma for rest of her life, taking in financially unstable friend indefinitely or just a new creepy roommate. If the kids have to deal with them daily then their concerns should have very heavy weight because unlike adults kids can’t just leave (it might even be illegal).

This case it should be pretty clear that the daughter’s needs should be above Sally being there. The parents don’t have to break up with her (just being realistic, at least the wife seems to be soooo into poly) but Sally should find her own place. The daughter should have her parents being mainly her parents when they are at home, rather than balancing out parent and Sally’s sweetheart roles. Quite frankly sounds like there is no time when the mother, the father and the daughter spend time alone without Sally. They tried out poly living but it wasn’t working out for the kid, so they should go back what was working (assuming just dating was working).

It's doomed either way. From the description, they're treating the child like a metamor and not a child. The solution was "I try and put them into my schedule with an extra date night". That post could have read "My 20M metamor is feeling jealous" and the solution would be exactly the same to them.

I don't think any relationship that's working very well moves into poly. It's the millennial version of "Relationship in trouble? Let's have a kid."

 

[sperginity]

This case it should be pretty clear that the daughter’s needs should be above Sally being there. The parents don’t have to break up with her (just being realistic, at least the wife seems to be soooo into poly) but Sally should find her own place. The daughter should have her parents being mainly her parents when they are at home, rather than balancing out parent and Sally’s sweetheart roles. Quite frankly sounds like there is no time when the mother, the father and the daughter spend time alone without Sally. They tried out poly living but it wasn’t working out for the kid, so they should go back what was working (assuming just dating was working).

I totally agree, but I also think that Sally being a hot young thing means the mom and dad will resent the shit out of their daughter for getting in the way. Sally would probably find some other couple to fall in love with if she had to leave this house. Things would get weird if she moved out. The core problem is that the parents were immature & self centered enough to move this new person in while they raise a kid in the first place. There's no easy answer for families where both parents don't take their parenting very seriously.
At least Mormon polygamists can tell their kids that God himself said they should have a bunch of moms. Woke lefty polyamorous people have no coherent explanation for their shitty choices outside of being horny, and they can't exactly tell their kids about that.

 

[Christopher Robin]

Their child should be taken away. Not only for subjecting it to a polyamorous relationship but also for referring to them as 'kiddo' for the entire post.

 

[AprilRains]

Clearly the 40-year-old dude needs to bang the 18-year-old girlfriend. That is the only remaining task to make this situation Springer-worthy.

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

It's doomed either way. From the description, they're treating the child like a metamor and not a child. The solution was "I try and put them into my schedule with an extra date night". That post could have read "My 20M metamor is feeling jealous" and the solution would be exactly the same to them.

I don't think any relationship that's working very well moves into poly. It's the millennial version of "Relationship in trouble? Let's have a kid."

I pretty much agree completely. Poly might workout for some rare cases but for most people it’s a doomed game. Limited resources like time, hurt feelings, STDs and just general life drama are working against the free love. I was sort of trying to come up with solution (or really just wording) that could be sold to the parents that are unwilling to give up their poly dreams.

As far as poly being the new "Relationship in trouble? Let's have a kid." you are right. I have read more than one Dan Savage advice column where he said something like your mono relationship is already over but your poly might not be (so open or leave). More often than not poly is just trying to safe the relationship without really having to figure out what’s wrong (‘couse it might be you fault or means doing icky stuff like changing habits). It’s pretty clear from how many couples only one is truly on board and how often somebody leaves with the new partner (and that relationship is suddenly mono).

I also have noticed that many poly people have this insane idea that if you try change or especially stop somebody’s behavior in anyway what so ever you are being abusive. Not only is this impossible standard as almost all communication is done to affect people’s actions and attitudes but it’s actually abusive in it self. People have to be able to affect their partners actions because some of them they will have consequences to them. There is world of different between a control freak not letting somebody have their own money and talking about ending unreasonable spending plus doing some long term budgeting. These poly people are all about my way or highway (and you should feel super guilty) and the only thing their partner can demand is more talking but only so that the partner can deal better, not actual negotiations. They for some freaking reason believe that most (even they won’t say all) poly partner have their partners well being in such high regard that all relationships rules are unnecessary and as such sign of abusive control. The most absurd part of this is that’s these same people talk how important settings and following boundaries is. I still haven’t figured what’s difference.

 

[Obviously Snape]

View attachment 567630

Lol, gonna get friendzoned by his wife and he's gonna be grateful for it, jfc.

 

[Rich Capitalist]

As far as poly being the new "Relationship in trouble? Let's have a kid." you are right. I have read more than one Dan Savage advice column where he said something like your mono relationship is already over but your poly might not be (so open or leave).

Savage got his cred for being the raunchy gay guy when that was edgy and reddit wasn't a thing. A lot of his advice is shittier than r/relationships

Now he writes dumb opinions and political shit in between the thing that got him popular which he was never great at to begin with. He's like Scott Adams.

 

[AnOminous]

I also have noticed that many poly people have this insane idea that if you try change or especially stop somebody’s behavior in anyway what so ever you are being abusive.

It's a good general rule that anyone whining about whatever-shaming is doing something shameful that they should be ashamed of.

 

[Dafrunk89]

"If they matter they won't mind. If they mind, they don't matter". Her kid is going to mind though. A lot. Better to kick the child out now just in case. More room for woke new-age fuckbuddies. Can't let your family to suppress your truest, deepest loves. Fuck.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

Imagine witnessing your only child have an escalating emotional crisis because of your live-in fuckbuddy, and it doesn't even register that this is a serious problem.

You know this idiot has been prioritizing her own kid dead last for the whole past year. When the poor kid runs away, fails school, or gets teen pregnant, she won't even see the connection.

 

[scathefire]

"If they matter they won't mind. If they mind, they don't matter". Her kid is going to mind though. A lot. Better to kick the child out now just in case. More room for woke new-age fuckbuddies. Can't let your family to suppress your truest, deepest loves. Fuck.

It’s one of those things where “as long as it isn’t hurting anybody” is a weak excuse because it absolutely and usually does hurt anyone involved, especially the children. Just because your personal practices aren’t hurting the world at large doesn’t mean it can’t be detrimental to yourself or your loved ones. Some things just shouldn’t be encouraged as healthy behaviors, regardless of their legality.

Polyshit to me is a symptom of this nihilistic society we’re living in.

 

[Tanner Glass]

A tale in two parts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9k4kfc/question_about_sleepovers/ (http://archive.is/2NPKj)

My partner and I have been cohabitating for 10 years. Recently we opened the relationship - Posted 16 Days Ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9olhdl/my_partner_isnt_listening/ (http://archive.is/G2qjn)

Writing this out, it feels like I should just get rid of this loser ... It's been happening like this for 6 months - Posted 9 Hours Ago

10 years dissolved in 6 months or less.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Also, a weird cross over of r/polyamory and r/nicegirls right here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9ohmhe/always_the_friend_never_more/ (http://archive.is/ns3em)

I have been actively Poly for 5 years now. I have a non-romantic husband partner of 20 years (2 years N/R) I also have a live-in boyfriend of 3 years (living together a year and a half)

Good god that husband is cucked. If you do the math, as soon as she got a boyfriend she stopped being wife to her husband and he's a glorified roommate now.

I have found myself being so Sapio-sexual that the pool of possibilities is almost nil.

You need to have a really high IQ to appreciate polyamory.

I am also sad because I really liked my new crush and well today he chose my boyfriend's friendship over me and I just feel really discouraged, like why did I do all that hard work in the first place?

Who wouldn't want to be the third guy in with a 43 year old crazy lady with a cucked husband and controlling boyfriend?

But, why would he be untrusting or controlling?

The last time he was out of town, the night/morning before he was coming home, I got super drunk and brought someone home and we had sex. This is not inherently a bad thing, but I broke 4 of our 8 agreements in the way I acted, not to mention putting myself in harms way

Oh.

 

[AprilRains]

And of course everyone validates her whore ass.

 

[knightlautrec]

A tale in two parts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9k4kfc/question_about_sleepovers/ (http://archive.is/2NPKj)


https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9olhdl/my_partner_isnt_listening/ (http://archive.is/G2qjn)


10 years dissolved in 6 months or less.

They keep saying 'New Relationship Energy thing is a bitch! It'll be fine!'. NRE is just the super special poly term for honeymoon phase I assume. That honeymoon phase is a really key bonding moment for couples usually. With a lot of physical attraction and affection building up.

It honestly sounds like this dude is already one foot out the door and this chick hasn't realised it yet.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

It's amazing how they debase the most passionate phase of a relationship, because that gets in the way of maintaining multiple low quality relationships.

 

[Olga]

Time to solve their problem: arranged marriages; divorce is crime!