Containment Dimensional Merge tweets megathread - 1/2 - Chris is salty Merge hasn't happened: "Damn Dimension 1218’s “Reality” Limits and Shit!!!"

[Marvin]

Ah yes good ol' empathetic Chris, he who sees no problem with saying "half" or even "most" people will live. After all, if 500 million people don't make it that still leaves 6.5 billion right? Good luck in the dimensional lottery.

40% of the world population is gonna die, and this is a good thing???

Oh lol I know why Chris is describing things this way.

So, when Chris takes stock of the people he's dealt with during his life, he probably counts like 100 different people, tops.

He's got his parents, his family, a handful of pastors, his galpals from high school, the occasional nonjerk male from high school, a handful of IRL nerd/brony friends, and then a few dozen troll characters.

So Chris goes, ok: 40/100 were troll characters, so that's accurately representing the world's population of evil, right? Just scale it up to 7 billion people.

 

[Eichsterd123]

I thought his court date was in December?

Edit: Yes his court date is on the 19th of December.

Spoiler

thats just gonna get delayed

 

[Snuckening]

"Among those Left-Behind are those who Really have been mean and cruel to others in the past, and remain consistent on that, up to the point of hatred being like a fetish to them..."

Lets just be real here- he's 100% talking about this site. He might have made a handful of exceptions for a few people who have done him favors, but everyone else here is right at the top of Chris's 'people who have to die in the hedgehog apocalypse' list.

And didn't old, super-duper-straight Chris already instigate a homopocalypse in CWCville back in the day? (shit, that's like 95% of KF users dead twice already). How many apocalypses is Christine "carried away with my empathy" Chandler going to rack up in his lifetime?

 

[Eichsterd123]

I don't know about you fellows, but I'm quite excited for the merge because it'll lead to 4 possibilities.

Possibility 1:
It doesn't happen and Chris realizes that he is very ill, and likewise falls into an unrecoverable despair that will lead into the Dark Chris Saga, where drugs, abuse, and murder will occur.

Possibility 2:
It doesn't happen and Chris realizes that he is very ill, and likewise decides to change himself for the better, following through with psychiatric treatments and learning that he isn't the center of the universe, and ultimately, one step at a time, getting better.

Possibility 3:
It doesn't happen, however Chris further escapes from reality, claiming to see things that aren't there on a regular basis. This would lead to him being treated in a psychiatric facility, and hopefully getting him the mental health he desperately needs.

Possibility 4:
It does happen, and I get to have hot giant woman sex with Mount Lady, and Diane.

Either way, we all win.

possibility 3 is the most likely to happen

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

or some metaphysical thing beyond me at the moment

In that whole mountain of autistic shit, grows that tiny rose of rare honesty.

 

[ZE 021]

Oh lol I know why Chris is describing things this way.

So, when Chris takes stock of the people he's dealt with during his life, he probably counts like 100 different people, tops.

He's got his parents, his family, a handful of pastors, his galpals from high school, the occasional nonjerk male from high school, a handful of IRL nerd/brony friends, and then a few dozen troll characters.

So Chris goes, ok: 40/100 were troll characters, so that's accurately representing the world's population of evil, right? Just scale it up to 7 billion people.

Holy shit that makes perfect sense, you genius.

 

[Reeepts]

Oh lol I know why Chris is describing things this way.

So, when Chris takes stock of the people he's dealt with during his life, he probably counts like 100 different people, tops.

He's got his parents, his family, a handful of pastors, his galpals from high school, the occasional nonjerk male from high school, a handful of IRL nerd/brony friends, and then a few dozen troll characters.

So Chris goes, ok: 40/100 were troll characters, so that's accurately representing the world's population of evil, right? Just scale it up to 7 billion people.

What was the ratio that Thanos killed? I always assumed he just got this from the Marvel films or something.

 

[Marvin]

What was the ratio that Thanos killed? I always assumed he just got this from the Marvel films or something.

I don't think he's really set on any specific number.

I think he was just eyeballing his life and felt like some people were more nice to him recently (but he's still got like 20-30 trolls on the brain) so he just guessed.

He thinks that his life is a good cross section of people in general.

 

[Dr. Tremolo]

What was the ratio that Thanos killed? I always assumed he just got this from the Marvel films or something.

Exactly 50%.
I don't think Chris watches Marvel movies, he's not into it overall. Yeah he's using the Earth reality number from it but only because he stumbled upon a tweet.

 

[Blarmed&Dangerous]

Y'know, I think we're actually getting to watch in real time how someone becomes that rambling hobo on the street corner.

possibility 3 is the most likely to happen

But - and hear me out on this - giant women.

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

Exactly 50%.
I don't think Chris watches Marvel movies, he's not into it overall. Yeah he's using the Earth reality number from it but only because he stumbled upon a tweet.

Surprisingly enough, he has, but he doesn't quite understand them. He's more obsessed with the cartoon, whatever it's called. He likes Dr. Strange because he has magic powers and his favorite scene from Infinity War was when they were all on the space ship. He more or less likes Thor Ragnarok because of the rainbow lights(I'm assuming) because he couldn't remember who Hela was. I think the Marvel movie that stuck to him the most is Guardians of the Galaxy. He likes Peter Quill because he tells jokes that he understands.

 

[Dr. Tremolo]

Surprisingly enough, he has, but he doesn't quite understand them. He's more obsessed with the cartoon, whatever it's called. He likes Dr. Strange because he has magic powers and his favorite scene from Infinity War was when they were all on the space ship. He more or less likes Thor Ragnarok because of the rainbow lights(I'm assuming) because he couldn't remember who Hela was. I think the Marvel movie that stuck to him the most is Guardians of the Galaxy. He likes Peter Quill because he tells jokes that he understands.

I must have forgotten then. Chris doesn't have to be obsessed about literally everything he watches, that's a given. I presume that despite his sperging about different dimensions, he probably has a blurred understanding of how their universes work, given how he mixes and matches shit up.
I kinda presumed he didn't because it's very usual for Chris to add things to his shit that come from sources he's not interested in and he's taken out of context.

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

I must have forgotten then. Chris doesn't have to be obsessed about literally everything he watches, that's a given. I presume that despite his sperging about different dimensions, he probably has a blurred understanding of how their universes work, given how he mixes and matches shit up.
I kinda presumed he didn't because it's very usual for Chris to add things to his shit that come from sources he's not interested in and he's taken out of context.

To be fair, the Marvel shit probably did stem mostly from Boyd, because if anyone remembers, he kept sperging on here about Chris "ruining" DC and Marvel for him. But I think Chris relates to the cartoon version more only because it's geared towards kids and has the type of humor he understands. I think he only likes the Marvel movies because of the Infinity stones because they're over powered and magical rocks.

 

[Drawets Rednaxela]

40% of the world population is gonna die, and this is a good thing???

Not nearly enough.

 

[Lord Khaz]

He's too shortsighted and myopic to know that he is describing the worst disaster in human history. Then he apparently thinks that fights between superheroes and villains are just so much fun. There couldn't possibly be any negative consequences like collateral damage or failing to stop a supervillains plot. Even if he did realize all this I don't think he'd care, because if this were anything more than a a product of his demented imagination, he'd be all set with a bunch of half-Pokemon, half-anthropomorphic hedgehogs to do his bidding and his own superpowers and all the rest of what he has described in his comics...

 

[Insert OC Here]

If Homestuck OC's are included in this ""merger"" the world is 200% going to end instantly.

 

[Charles Kinbote]

All this talk about dimensions and counterparts fills me with disgust and shame for ever having enjoyed fiction.

 

[Monolith]

If Homestuck OC's are included in this ""merger"" the world is 200% going to end instantly.

They don't have to do anything, it's just that all the added mass would collapse Earth into a black hole.

 

[Wrathcaster]

Oh lol I know why Chris is describing things this way.

So, when Chris takes stock of the people he's dealt with during his life, he probably counts like 100 different people, tops.

He's got his parents, his family, a handful of pastors, his galpals from high school, the occasional nonjerk male from high school, a handful of IRL nerd/brony friends, and then a few dozen troll characters.

So Chris goes, ok: 40/100 were troll characters, so that's accurately representing the world's population of evil, right? Just scale it up to 7 billion people.

In fairness, any decent opinion poll carried out with a nice sample size would likely return at least 40% of normie respondents reporting utter disgust with Chris.

I'm still fascinated by this concept of everyone's OCs coming to life. I wonder what would happen if another idea troll pointed him in the direction of the SCP Foundation wiki. I'd think he'd immediately take that shit at face value as real due to its clinical and "scientific" tone. I'd love to see Chris's response to the thought of eldritch abominations rampaging around and munching on Sonichus and Ponies. Or maybe he'd just say "Mhmhmmmmm, no, pony CPU goddess powers always win."

 

[Second Missing Primarch]

I wonder what would happen if another idea troll pointed him in the direction of the SCP Foundation wiki. I'd think he'd immediately take that shit at face value as real due to its clinical and "scientific" tone. I'd love to see Chris's response to the thought of eldritch abominations rampaging around and munching on Sonichus and Ponies. Or maybe he'd just say "Mhmhmmmmm, no, pony CPU goddess powers always win."

My head is now filled with visions of Sonichu and the gang locked in desperate battle with SCP-682 as it rampages through CWCville. Thank you for that.