Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 380 14.3%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 11.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 193 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,663
I'm late to this thread but I gave up on catching up. I have one question--is she honest about anything? She claimed to be a size 22 (which, no--I'm a 20 and about her height and I've probably got at least 100 pounds before I'll be her size) and tried doing whatever it took to perpetuate this. She scammed HER OWN FANS out of their money with those stupid, crazy expensive T-shirts. She Photoshops almost everything. Her book was 99% made up or stories someone else experienced that she claimed.
 
I'm late to this thread but I gave up on catching up. I have one question--is she honest about anything? She claimed to be a size 22 (which, no--I'm a 20 and about her height and I've probably got at least 100 pounds before I'll be her size) and tried doing whatever it took to perpetuate this. She scammed HER OWN FANS out of their money with those stupid, crazy expensive T-shirts. She Photoshops almost everything. Her book was 99% made up or stories someone else experienced that she claimed.
I'm particularly fond of the lie she used to tell about Nick being a "millionaire businessman", before he moved to the States. Her calves used to bleat about how she snagged a supa sexay fit manly man who was uber rich, so all your arguments are invalid.

Turns out he was a fat poor unemployed midget artfag mostly interested in having sex with men and a Green Card, though he enjoys feeding up plump women.


EDIT: newspaper copy where her agency and / or publicist at the time re-used the phrase "Australian businessman Nick Holliday". Nick has never owned a business, and needed to have a garage sale of his art crap to fund his plane ticket to reach his meal ticket in Los Angeles.
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I really doubt that story is actually true at all, she just desperately needed a new situation to make her look like a strong, powerful woman who doesn’t care about the haters.

Nah; in this one case I do believe her. I live in Europe and if you're fat your name is gonna be "dickie" (dick means fat in German) or straight up "fatty" When describing someone who is plus sized, regardless of hair or skin colour or any other distinguishing factor, people say "dickie Frau"
 
I'm late to this thread but I gave up on catching up. I have one question--is she honest about anything?

Avoiding the arm chair diagnosis here and just saying: no, she is never honest about anything. You may find a seed of truth in some eventss but it's always warped to sell whatever lie she desperately needs to push her image.

I keep bringing up the domestic abuse charity scam because it truly emphasizes what a horrible human being this is: She used her status as a survivor and appealed to her fans sense of kindness with the promise that they were contributing to help other victims. She exploited the suffering domestic abuse victims to line her own pockets
 
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She exploited the suffering domestic abuse victims to line her own pockets
And only coughed up a donation after 2-3 years of a grassroots campaign to expose her. Now she can claim she made a donation - of $1000. After making a profit of around $150,000 on the shirts and telling people buying them meant donating to a domestic violence charity.
 
And only coughed up a donation after 2-3 years of a grassroots campaign to expose her. Now she can claim she made a donation - of $1000. After making a profit of around $150,000 on the shirts and telling people buying them meant donating to a domestic violence charity.
Yeah, that's ridiculous. There is zero reason she shouldn't have donated the whole profit if she's making as much as she claims.
 
Nah; in this one case I do believe her. I live in Europe and if you're fat your name is gonna be "dickie" (dick means fat in German) or straight up "fatty" When describing someone who is plus sized, regardless of hair or skin colour or any other distinguishing factor, people say "dickie Frau"

That's not really correct German... if anything "dicke Frau" but that's a weird mix of a cutesy ("dick") and a very formal term ("Frau").
(edit: on second thought, I could very well imagine a kindergardener asking about "die dicke Frau da drüben" - the fat lady over there - but beyond that age group it starts to get weird.)

In my experience a woman is going to be called a "fette Sau" (fat sow), a guy a "Fettsack" (fat bag) and a child possibly a "Dickerchen" (little fatty) (tbh I feel like the last is somewhat antiquated/mostly literary as an insult at this point; more likely to be used as a term of endearment, e.g. towards Kurt Tucholsky).
 
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TL/DR
Outside of the US, nobody gives a fuck about your feelings if you are fat or behave oddly. When people get older, they stop caring altogether and will gladly talk shit about you.

The English do it entirely with eyebrows. The entire room has assessed, discussed and dissected you and found you wanting and nobody has opened their gob.
 
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The day before the election, Tess participated in an event titled "Telethon for America", where C and D list 'celebs' came to work the phone lines for a get out the vote effort. Oh, and Tess was there.

And boy oh boy, did her Z-list, no-name, fat ass stand out. You see, while everyone else showed up in casual clothing, no makeup or hair done, ready to sit in a garage and do regular work at a political phone bank, Tess decided this was an opportunity to shine.

So she showed up like a drag queen going out the club: hair extensions teased up to the max, overfilled and over lined lips, slutty dress, multiple pairs of fake eyelashes, and all the Spanx she could squeeze into.

The other attendees (see Tess shoved into the far corner - note the difference in her clothing and appearance compared to others):
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And this is what Tess looked like:
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She was livestreaming, and clearly had an assistant shooting her, so people would see her next to more famous people. No one else was using this is as self promotion, but Tess wanted to name drop and pose:
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She hired a crew to prepare for this like is was a fucking red carpet event:
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And tried to squeeze her way into photos, looking utterly desperate as well as massively out of place in more ways than one:
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I'm sure Jane Fonda, workout queen of the 80s and long time political activist, was thoroughly impressed that you used this opportunity to squelch around in your overdone outfit, hair and makeup, and pretend to work. She was thinking exactly what we were thinking: what a fat, lazy, self-serving cow.
 
Ah yes.....our brave soopamoddle is truly pushing the boundaries. She's not content with one gigantic fupa, she has extra ones over her elbows, knees, cankles....

Fashion houses are scurrying to adjust their designs for this phenomenon, and the beauty it adds to the female form. God forbid that Chanel, Prada et al not have Ten-Ton bludging down the specially reinforced catwalk at their shows. Quelle horreur!
 
Oh dear.

Does she do her own slap? Cos ye gods, it's bad - brows and lips particularly. She must look absolutely ridiculous IRL. Wonder how many people think she's actually a drag blob queen?
Sometimes - she used to post to YouTube as a "professional makeup artist", lol - but not this time. She paid people to do her hair extensions up and put her slap on before going to rub her elbow fupas on people more famous than her.

You can smell the tryhard (and the overuse of fat girl body spray) through the photos.

edit: here's her old YT channel

She actually had visible cheekbones and only 1.5 chins 6 years ago; her feat was having a "thin" face whilst being a fatty, and that surprisingly lasted up until she hit her ~ 250 lbs (113 kg for non Freedom Lovers.) She's well over 300 lbs (136 kg) at this point, and she's quite short.
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In fact, you know what? Let's look at old photos of Tess, before M.ilk Model Management signed her in late 2014 and foisted her upon the general public.

This is probably from around 2009-10. This was when she was an actual size 22. She could still cross her ankles, a favorite pose at the time. In the next few years, this ability would be reduced bit by bit - first she could balance for a second while crossing the leg in the air but not on the ground; then to one leg slightly behind the other, then finally became the knee-pop-that-isn't, because no one has seen her kneecaps in years.
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These are from roughly 2012, approximately the time she became the face of the television show "Heavy", a ripoff of "My 600 lbs Life". She lacks the upper thigh and upper arm tattoos she'd get in the next few years. Her back boobs were already in place, and this was nigh on 100 lbs ago. Look at the size of her calves in the second photo; they clearly didn't edit them down and they must be gigantic at this point.
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This photographer used to work with her quite a bit when she first moved to LA from Seattle, but refused to continue after a while because of the straight ridiculous amount of editing Tess would demand. This is probably also around 2012 due to lack of tattoos, but it's hard to tell because Tess wanted to glow brighter than the sun here.
tess 2013.jpg


Ironically, Tess would pile on the pounds in the years after that "Heavy" ad was shot. These glorious shots are from 2014, before she had a team around her at all times to prevent such photos from being taken or published.

The first was taken at her "Eff Your Beauty Standards" Tour, where she sold merch at ticketed meet-and-greets with fatties. Yes, they paid money to have an opportunity to buy her $40 t-shirts, which were cheap material with an iron-on patch. Fans reported that the patch pretty much started falling apart at the first washing. The second photo is a video still the Daily Fail published, and I love it. At this point, Tess wasn't the Queen of the Fatties yet, and she still had to play second fiddle to fatty friends who were more famous than her. I believe this was filmed in early 2014, as it's before her Dolly and Divine tattoos were done.
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Nick moved from Australia to LA in late 2014, and that's when the most recent weight gain came and she reached her Final Form of ~350 lbs at 5'3". This was taken in earl 2015, shortly before her second pregnancy.
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Her face maintained its odd lack of chins and cheek fat until AFTER she birthed her second calf. She was pretty careful during that pregnancy and appeared to remain weight neutral during, which is a pretty amazing feat for an unrepentant fat. But as soon as that kid came out, she ate her way back to her previous weight, and this time, it didn't keep off her face.
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We've recently also seen evidence that the bulbous fat deposits in her upper arms and legs and drooping badly; the surface of the skin on her body is pitted, rough, and likely infected in places due to wet folds and rubbing (she wears shape wear at every event, that'll take a toll.) In short, her value as a token fatty ends when her face reflects reality; and her value at the hottest fattie for feeders and fats ends when her body and skin begins to break down under the strain. The last bastion for attention is the feeder market and private cam shows; wonder how long it'll take her to end up there - or whether she goes the WLS and skin surgery route, "changed muh life, give me a photo spread in People", etc.
 

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To say she looks like a drag queen is to insult drag queens: they at least know how to contour cheekbones. You'd think her gay husband could touch her up. Obviously Tess is never going to look good unless she puts down the fork, but this makeup tactic of making her eyes and lips look as huge as possible doesn't work at her age. It's done to create a "lolita" face, which works when you have young (and thin) features: on Tess, with her head dwarfed by her body and cottage cheese jowls, it looks crazy, particularly with her face so swollen from injectables that it looks like a blow-up doll going into anaphylactic shock.
 
@multiverse You are truly a National Treasure. And why does it always look chippy when I try to be nice? I mean it genuinely, I'm just Unfortunate generally.

At this point, anyone who books her is complicit. It's blatantly obvious the message she proclaims isn't honest and she demands more than any other model to smooth and squish and fake her way as near to "beauty standards" as she can get. And is still miles away. It would still be glorifying an unhealthy lifestyle, but if she were honest - no hair extensions, no photoshop, no shapewear - it would at least be a true representation against the norm. But as is, she's just a ludicrous caricature, a fatarse fake.

And her makeup person needs to be shot for those eyebrows. They must've been taking lessons from Beautybot - they're even worse than Big Gay Lainey's.

Ps. Just noticed. Even if the telethon were televised, she's in the shittiest spot. Back row on the right is the last place the eye is drawn, even if it's got a slapped-up hippo squelching there.
 
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