DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[cyberdog150]

Jesus titty-fucking Christ, this guy...

So, he's been raging at Darksiders 3 again. Here's a snippet of his shenanigans:

TL;DW => The game sucks. The game is terrible. The combat is really bad. The game was trash at the first fight already. Complains about the checkpoint system. Calls devs "complete and utter dumbasses".

Laugh laugh laugh, joke joke, rage, rage, laugh, laugh
seems like he's a fan of that format

Honestly he's never been suited to livestreaming and it's just another reason his bizness has tanked and remained stagnant save for the appeal of idiots trying to put a band aid (do they know it's Christmas in DSPLand?) on it with forced subs that get bumrushed the fuck out of there every 30 days.

Livestreaming would suggest the streamer take an interest in their audience, engage with ongoing conversation in chat and facilitate interaction by way of jumping into the topics along with them. Interaction to DSP literally means "give money" and that's his only actual understanding of the word.

Keeping in step with his fanbase would also mean he would have to pay attention and process the meaning behind the in-jokes, weird detractor idioms and care about a world outside that office. He doesn't live in reality he lives in 2012 in his head. He doesn't care about memes, he doesn't care about the drama, he doesn't care about grazydream's sexism, sidella's racism, fuckin' waifus and he doesn't care about the country he lives in enough to vote okay! - he's got a business to run, dood!

good writeup, you hit the nail on the head with him living in 2012 in his head, it's almost all he talks about.

"This is the god's honest truth, now back in 2012, i was making a lot more money. I didn't need to beg-I mean ask for tips!"

 

[Fuckyoudad]

good writeup, you hit the nail on the head with him living in 2012 in his head, it's almost all he talks about.

"This is the god's honest truth, now back in 2012, i was making a lot more money. I didn't need to beg-I mean ask for tips!"

2012 pretty much nailed him to the cross as he absolved the sins of the world with the quality khantent. Thus the worthless hoomans could bear witness to the original DSP T-pose.

Then he was risen again and jerked off on stream.

@Comma I wonder what "great exploration mechanics" means. Great.. walking? This game has great walking? Those bullshit reviews sold this game short. Time to waste 60 bucks on it. "great world design" too - as he walks through a brown videogame factory. Never seen one of those before.

 

[cyberdog150]

I honestly believe he used to enjoy video games but after playing them all day every day (except sundays dood!) he just got sick of them. in fact i think i remember him implying or hinting that he doesn't really like video games anymore, could be wrong though

 

[Comma]

Looks like another minimum wage early stream for Dave today. Cheers have been noticeably slow these past couple of days.

Timeline: 5 hours and 45 minutes (duration of the stream)

- quick and probably not completely accurate cheer-count: around 3200 bits (3 people were responsible for just over 1300 bits)
- observed tips: $10 + $10 + $12 (top tip) = $32
Total approx. haul: $64
Rough estimate of hourly income = $64 / 5.75 hours = $11.13

 

[samovski]

I honestly believe he used to enjoy video games but after playing them all day every day (except sundays dood!) he just got sick of them. in fact i think i remember him implying or hinting that he doesn't really like video games anymore, could be wrong though

He did, back when it was a hobby. As soon as this became his job he started taking it a little too serious. When it became necessity I think the hatred for games began to grow.

That and wanting to apparently be pro at every game he plays. He's driven himself half-mad with his desperation to be good at the thing he chose to do.

 

[actually]

You pretty much got it:

Unique cheerers: 26
Total cheers: 42
Final bit total is: $39.84
Average cheer: $0.95

Subs: 8 [8@$4.99, 0@$9.99, 0@$24.99, 0 gifted, 5 Twitch subs (62.50%), 6 total resubs (75.00%), 3 Twitch resubs (37.50%) ]
Known sub money is: $20.00

Twitch range is: $59.84

The $7+ difference is from Goldencolts doing a series of tooth fairy cheers overnight.

 

[Il_Duke]

Looks like another minimum wage early stream for Dave today. Cheers have been noticeably slow these past couple of days.

Timeline: 5 hours and 45 minutes (duration of the stream)
View attachment 603714

- quick and probably not completely accurate cheer-count: around 3200 bits (3 people were responsible for just over 1300 bits)
- observed tips: $10 + $10 + $12 (top tip) = $32
Total approx. haul: $64
Rough estimate of hourly income = $64 / 5.75 hours = $11.13

Hey now, $11.13 an hour, 40 hours a week, for the next 18 weeks gets him over $8,000 by April 15th. that's halfway there!

 

[Optimus Prime]

Hey now, $11.13 an hour, 40 hours a week, for the next 18 weeks gets him over $8,000 by April 15th. that's halfway there!

That's actually less than minimum wage in my area. It's a small, almost microscopic difference admittedly, but it can still be truthfully said Phil is making less money sitting on his ass whining about money and games he hates...than if he actually got a 9 to 5 job working basic retail.

 

[big ups liquid richard]

Hey now, $11.13 an hour, 40 hours a week, for the next 18 weeks gets him over $8,000 by April 15th. that's halfway there!

he wants us to remember, that 16k is in addition to his usual income. Which he refuses to say.

 

[Ahffline]

That's actually less than minimum wage in my area. It's a small, almost microscopic difference admittedly, but it can still be truthfully said Phil is making less money sitting on his ass whining about money and games he hates...than if he actually got a 9 to 5 job working basic retail.

Of all the terrible financial decisions Phil made in his youth, refusing to get an actual salaried job once he was "laid off" from his office job is the starting snowball in the avalanche of a financial disaster he now faces. He could have worked and built up his YouTube/Streaming income as a sideline. But that would have taken a work ethic and self-discipline, two things he sorely lacks.

He wants to be self-employed but enjoy the same schedule, benefits, and time commitments of a mid-level office worker with a 9-5 job. The fact that he can't is something beyond his comprehension.

His high school must have had a low, low bar for valedictorians.

 

[thebonesauce]

Of all the terrible financial decisions Phil made in his youth, refusing to get an actual salaried job once he was "laid off" from his office job is the starting snowball in the avalanche of a financial disaster he now faces. He could have worked and built up his YouTube/Streaming income as a sideline. But that would have taken a work ethic and self-discipline, two things he sorely lacks.

He wants to be self-employed but enjoy the same schedule, benefits, and time commitments of a mid-level office worker with a 9-5 job. The fact that he can't is something beyond his comprehension.

His high school must have had a low, low bar for valedictorians.

He really does treat his stream like a 9-5 job. He even gets in two 15 minute breaks. His Twitch boss must really get on him to take those breaks... We all know just how hard Phil works on a day to day basis!

I’ll just say this, it’s just a bit of :powerlevel:, but anyway...

I work in the medical field. I’ve worked in medical/surgical, I’ve delivered babies in an OB/GYN and Pediatrics rotation. I’ve worked in straight up nursing homes and assisted living facilities alike. You don’t know hard work until you’ve worked in the, “behavioral health,” department.

Every single time Dark tells us that he’s so busy and he works so hard and he’s exhausted and talking for an hour strains his voice... I seriously want to punch this mealy mouthed faggot. meanwhile in behavioral health, you have to fend off literally mentally ill people and give lots and lots of Ativan or Thorazine shots.

I would love, absolute LOVE to see Dark PP do what I do on a daily basis. He wouldn’t last an hour.

 

[Crunchy Smegma]

Of all the terrible financial decisions Phil made in his youth, refusing to get an actual salaried job once he was "laid off" from his office job is the starting snowball in the avalanche of a financial disaster he now faces. He could have worked and built up his YouTube/Streaming income as a sideline. But that would have taken a work ethic and self-discipline, two things he sorely lacks.

He wants to be self-employed but enjoy the same schedule, benefits, and time commitments of a mid-level office worker with a 9-5 job. The fact that he can't is something beyond his comprehension.

His high school must have had a low, low bar for valedictorians.

At the end of the day, Phil just wants the "prestige" of being a working-man who gets to come home after a long day of work at the office and take his shoes off. He doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that ever since he got laid off, his supposed work life is what millions of children do every day.

 

[harbinger]

He's driven himself half-mad with his desperation to be good at the thing he chose to do.

With all due respect, I believe this is incorrect. This implies he recognizes he’s not good a games. He said so himself, he believes he’s one of the best all around gamers in the country. He’s driven half-mad because game developers can’t make a good game that works. They are all broken pieces of garbage. All game mechanics are broken and bugged, except “exploration mechanics” apparently.

 

[Il_Duke]

The fastest selling video game of all time. A company with a track record of releasing online games that at least have a lot of longevity and a solid cult following. Still more than a dozen streams with over 1,000 people watching. And the defining characteristic of Phil's stream is the " well I guess we'll get started" when it all hit him at once:

- He's starting 2 days after the initial hype, so he could spend half the week making Target cashier money streaming a full price Bloodborne clone
- He made at most 3 dollars in the lead up to this 'hype, chill experience'
- Even he isn't delusional enough to pretend his biggest 'hater' doesn't have 5 times his viewership legitimately.

 

[Commander Keen]

Of all the terrible financial decisions Phil made in his youth, refusing to get an actual salaried job once he was "laid off" from his office job is the starting snowball in the avalanche of a financial disaster he now faces. He could have worked and built up his YouTube/Streaming income as a sideline. But that would have taken a work ethic and self-discipline, two things he sorely lacks.

He wants to be self-employed but enjoy the same schedule, benefits, and time commitments of a mid-level office worker with a 9-5 job. The fact that he can't is something beyond his comprehension.

His high school must have had a low, low bar for valedictorians.

It was. He went to a private school for athletes. One of those catholic institutions that scout big nigs to ball hard for them. Why do you think he shits on the darkies and hyped up big booty latinas? When he was raised in Connecticut? Dude was probably one of a handful of white kids in the whole school.

Edit: he says he was a “bodybuilder” when it was probably just his school mandating weight lifting during PE

 

[WeeblesWobble]

The fastest selling video game of all time. A company with a track record of releasing online games that at least have a lot of longevity and a solid cult following. Still more than a dozen streams with over 1,000 people watching. And the defining characteristic of Phil's stream is the " well I guess we'll get started" when it all hit him at once:

- He's starting 2 days after the initial hype, so he could spend half the week making Target cashier money streaming a full price Bloodborne clone
- He made at most 3 dollars in the lead up to this 'hype, chill experience'
- Even he isn't delusional enough to pretend his biggest 'hater' doesn't have 5 times his viewership legitimately.

The funny thing is that that sigh was because he was holding out during the pre stream hoping that he would get bits or cheers. Nobody was really giving him anything.

During prestream Phil says "I've already heard that detractors are planning on trolling this stream, so I'll have to mute player voices."
Cheer: How did you hear about detractors planning this? I thought you didn't keep up with detractor stuff.
Phil says: Well, I didn't but I'm not stupid.

 

[Freshtodeath]

Phil seems unusually scared of online interaction lately. Is this because of Kat's cheating scandel? Doesn't want someone to blurt it out?

 

[N0thingICanDo]

This is the character Phil crearted for RDR online based on himself

He then laughed at it saying "OMG THAT"S SO UGLY, It's like ME who just came back from Dental appointment"

You cant even make that shit up......wow.....

Immediately died

"BOOLSHEET, I shot him first and I immediately died, BOOLSHEET"

Well Phil You shot him first on the foot with a handgun and he blasted you from point blank wiith a shotgun, NOTHING YOU CAN DO right?

 

[Dragoonism]

A while ago i promised never to see Phil play a F/TPS multiplayer game again and i also claimed i was going to break it... Well i broke it!

Been watching him play RDR2 Online and Most Wanted matches, all he does is bitching about how broke the game is when ever he fucks up.

1. He gets shot in the head is not because they aim quicker and better than him, they just have better weapons.
2. Sitting in a bush is behind cover and no one should be able to shoot you.
3. Standing in a desert means you are both covered and invincible behind dust.
4. You should be allowed to run around for a long time before someone can find and shoot you.
5. Because he has auto aim on it means everyone else have it and headshots are impossible.
6. Despite losing balance and sliding down a hill you should have perfect aim.
7. People attacking you from behind just appear out of thin air.
8. Everyone have played it 2 days more than Phil and are therefore much better than him.
9. Everyone who have played RDR2 agrees with him that the controls are bad and delays.
10. You can snipe with shotguns.
11. Taking cover and move around is weird gameplay.

He played a match in a lightly wooden camp area, the next match was in a town.
Phil: "Oh, this time we are in a town, this is good! This is better than some fucking... you know random... ehhh... stupid... ehhh grass!"


Fun and chill stream with a 3rd grader?

 

[Slander Man]

This is the character Phil crearted for RDR online based on himself

He then laughed at it saying "OMG THAT"S SO UGLY, It's like ME who just came back from Dental appointment"

You cant even make that shit up......wow.....

View attachment 603975


Immediately died

"BOOLSHEET, I shot him first and I immediately died, BOOLSHEET"

Well Phil You shot him first on the foot with a handgun and he blasted you from point blank wiith a shotgun, NOTHING YOU CAN DO right?

View attachment 603978

Here he goes creating himself in a game again. Dude doesn't have a creative bone in his body. "Why would I want to put boils on his face? Ewww and liver spots?? Who would want that! Snort" Oh I dunno phil, maybe make a crazy hillbilly with no shirt, overalls, and boils on his face. Name him hillbilly Jim. It's a fucking video game based in the old west, have fun with it.

Edit: eh just now saw rdr thread so Im late on the observation. Muh bad.