DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

Status
Not open for further replies.
I don't think DSP deletes the vods so Twitch staff cannot view the stream (which btw sounds like a lame excuse, I'm sure they can view it they just don't want it widely known)

I do think DSP deletes the vods so people have to go watch them on DSPGaming after his gin o clock tweet tells everyone how fun the game is after trashing it and wishing the devs to get kicked in the nuts.

It could be a technical bit of fuckery they use in the same manner as splitting hairs between don't call it a fundraiser while referring to it as raising funds is perfectly acceptable.

Also isn't there basically a rule in place that states he's not allowed to monetize his stream content on youtube until the 24 hour time limit is up? Unless he's considered an affiliate or whatever and is allowed to bypass this rule now. I really don't pay enough attention to when he uploads.. anything at all.

You're also right of course in that he obviously wants to maxmize youtube views. Those 12 cents per video really add up dood. Sad thing is they really do though I doubt it's any of his new material that actually sustains him on that platform at all with the views he gets. It's his inability to break patterns in his daily life that forces him to start uploading right away eventhough he doesn't actually need to.

Whether a combination of any or all of the above we know for a fact there are instances he should probably be getting into trouble with Twitch and he doesn't. They just fuckin T-Pose and flail their arms about like he does. He's clearly spoken to someone on there and and has found out all about the autistic precision required to slither just within their boundaries. Can't fucking drive in a straight line in a racing game but he sure as shit can zigzag like a knifefish when it comes to dodging at minimum a suspension.
 
DtruVrlWsAc7irf.jpg

1.PNG

PS: This guy was not a troll. He actually defended Phil, a while ago.

2.PNG
 
Whether a combination of any or all of the above we know for a fact there are instances he should probably be getting into trouble with Twitch and he doesn't. They just fuckin T-Pose and flail their arms about like he does. He's clearly spoken to someone on there and and has found out all about the autistic precision required to slither just within their boundaries. Can't fucking drive in a straight line in a racing game but he sure as shit can zigzag like a knifefish when it comes to dodging at minimum a suspension.
Plot twist: Phil's partnership manager is Sidella's dad. Or another big autistic fanboy.
 
Plot twist: Phil's partnership manager is Sidella's dad. Or another big autistic fanboy.

I considered for a while that maybe Kat worked for Twitch. Would there be anything sadder than her being his fulltime babysitter online and offline as well? Yes there would.. the fact that he would go out of his way to score the real Twitch bounty - an employee that helps him skirt around the rules under the guise of true love. I'm sure it wouldn't be beneath him either to try and seek one out and lure them in with the promise of staycations and living rent free.

I do like to imagine dumb shit like this for some reason.

PS: This guy was not a troll. He actually defended Phil, a while ago.

The frailty is on another level. He truly wonders why no one can stand him when he sits there filtering and misconstruing absolutely everything as a personal attack against his good realgamer name. Like why even post anything at this point?

Please try harder.. at being anything less than an absolute faggot. :story:
 
Last edited:
I really just cannot believe how much of a fuckhead Phil is to anyone and everyone literally ALL OF THE TIME.

He truly wonders why no one can stand him when he sits there filtering and misconstruing absolutely everything as a personal attack against his good realgamer name. Like why even post anything at this point?.

You know why that is?? It's the paranoia.

Phil is at a point where he thinks that anyone and everyone is plotting against him, to stab him in the back eventually.

Him being a narcissistic shit bag is what drove the people who gave a damn about him away, but he believes he did nothing wrong, and they all left him in dust for no reason.

You watch. Once he's in his mid 40's, he'll be the senile old man looking out his "office" window looking for black helicopters with the conspiracy theory wall trying to tie it all together.

CAUSE IT WASN'T HIS FAULT
 
I genuinely don’t get why his Twitter persona is this really energetic guy who loves to stream for his fans and has poignant ideas about things. It’s pretty insane. If his face weren’t attached to the account and he never mentioned his streams or anything involving his name I would have no clue it was Phil.
He acts like he has separate fanbases between YouTube/Twitter/Twitch with zero overlap. Everyone has pointed out he will shit on a game the entire stream but then when it's time to sell it on Twitter every playthrough was a dspositive fun happy time. YouTube he doen't even bother with unless he has to specificly beg them for money.

He has deluded himself into thinking he has a bunch of fans exclusive to each platform when it's really the same thousand(generous I know) hopping between all three.
 
Some classic DSP for you guys.

Calls out of work sick because he is throwing up. Goes to get food (sick lul) and his vidja games. Pretends to be sick then gets excited about action figures and the veil goes away. Makes you wonder if he really got laid off.

Yeah, you gotta wonder if maybe someone in his office didn't see that video go up and rub their chin a little
 
Since he revealed his big financial problem, what steps exactly he made to gather more money. We should make a list...

1. Doubled cheer popup minimum ammount.
2. Beg more.

Hmm... I think he did everything he could.
On the contrary, he saved up the biggest of all plans for december. As you see, he announced 4 events which shall motivate his servants to donate an exorbitant amount of good money. Of course they are always motivated to pledge in between those 4 days, so his business can be saved. Therefore, if you think about it, these events aren't very meaningful or different from his usual begging. Is it the program which could make the difference? Or is it the existence of the events themself which should remind the paypigs to donate, over and over again, until their wallets are dried up? As the wise Jim Sterling spoke: The amount of money is limited. If his minions possess the power and will to save his fatty ass, they would surely do that right away outside or without some special events. Because in fact, the special event in it's entirety already exists: GIMME MONEY OR I LOSE MY HOUSE PLEASE DO IT FAST UNTIL APRIL OHGOD PLS IT'S ALL TEVIN'S FAULT.

Let us move the curtain and review the pigroache's 4 step plan. Embrace for the face of the culprit.

upload_2018-12-5_22-41-31.png

upload_2018-12-5_22-41-39.png



upload_2018-12-5_22-44-37.png


The usual lies and blames are distracting, so let us ignore them for the moment.
Prepare yourselfs for the "Uuuuuh effort to raise funds".

(1) Indies-Marathon
(2) "Annual" wrestling-simulation fantasy matches
(3) Holiday gaming marathon
(4) Special Christmas Eve Podcast

"Four completely separate events". Let's look into it.

His time is of course limited so he might play every game just for a few hours. What exactly can you achieve in just a few hours, especially the confusing ones? The long winded ones? Not that much, so the playing of games (the washing of dishes) might be pointless.

Minecraft, finally again after 3 years. Literally everybody and his mother knows the in and outs of Minecraft, while Dave will still be blind to any possibilities. Minecraft is only as good as you are willing to plan and be creative. You need some knowledge to be as efficient as possible to create just something simple in his limited timeframe. This will be without a doubt boring and headache inducing.
If Minecraft is still considered an "indie" title is up to debate, but not for now. But factually, there are better options for an indie-game. Like, something from the current year.

Axiom Verge, a very good Metroid tribute. As he pointed out in the past, he's not a big fan of metroidvania games, a weakness clearly understood in his case. In those games you have to put 1 and 1 together, be willing to explore, and most importantly remember obscure barriers in the past. I can also just imagine how much invested he will read the story, will he skip them? Wil he read it very fast and not interested? I don't know. But for sure it will be a handholding game. Ex-ci-ting.

I Wanna Be The Guy which he will now play for the third time. Last time the hero wouldn't jump, because of his keyboard - of course. It was also very painful to watch, as he has the reaction time of a frozen gorilla. It's hard to come up with a comparison, but I can't compare Dave with Dave, you see? I don't really understand why he would torture anyone again with this shit, especially if there will be clearly no real progress. Because IWBTG isn't made for progress.

Stardew Valley which is considered a chill project. I'd say a boring project. Stardew Valley is slow, even if you know what to do. It's a good game, but this is now the fourth slow game in his list, with Axiom Verge with the possibly fastest progression and at least some action. SV is also a game which many people already know, as it was - and still is - a very popular replacement for Harvest Moon.

Sonic Dreams Collection, which is not even really a "game" but more like an internet meme. This game was probably picked to make the jokes for him, as the usual Dave is not really an insightful or funny entertainer. Prepare your anuses for "Oh mah gahd", "What's this", "What the fuuuck", "What's going on ackackack" and at some point sex jokes. There won't be much else than this.

All in all, his choices aren't very exciting, at least for me. I know every single one of them, seen them multiple times during the years, played by different people or I played them myself, multiple times. As usual Dave is way too late to jump on this specific indie-train. These games were probably already in his library; they cost money, you know?

Playing games he already played is as eventful as just playing Dark Souls for the sixtillionth time: He does what he should do as a videogame entertainer. I fail to see the special aspect of day 1.

In 2 wrestling games he creates or downloads fantasy wrestlers. If he will just let them fight or fight with them himself, who knows. "This event will take all day because it takes time to set up these matches, at least half an hour each". Sounds hardly like any fun. I also have to repeat myself: It might be some sort of special for Dave, but what he does is nothing special for most other streamers. They would just set a regular day for a fun idea, because many days are filled with fun ideas. So I fail to see the special aspect of day 2. Also, how "annual" is this? I really don't know.

Dave will be dressed up and he will be drinking that day. Because getting drunk is apparently considered as work and worth pledging to. How can you not pledge to this sober looking man?
upload_2018-12-5_23-34-33.png

He drinks gin each night, so this activity isn't really eventful. However, apparently and with LUCK the patreons will vote for the game this time, if he just doesn't make an executive decision. Of course he says people loved that marathon last year, because if Dave says people loved it, then it must be true. Everyone loves Dave, he always makes the most fun and totally not boring content.
Is that all? Yes, this is all. He plays a game, which he does 6 days a week anyway, and drinks alcohol in a costume - by the way, he's neither a children's entertainer nor a clown . Very, very, very eventful, my friends. Unfortunately I have no idea what his pol entails. Just so much: Again, I fail to see the special aspect of day 3. Other streamers would love to play games their audiences ask for.

Or the "Holiday Vlahg" as he pronounces it. He just hangs around with people and talks about the holidays. Or do we know better? Possibly just a prestream in disguise with a lot of begging and blaming. So he talks, which he normally does anyway, more than he even should do. In any case, day 4 fails to meet my expectation as something special or as an event for two reasons: First, as stated, he talks in his prestream anyway. Second, he was known for entire vlogs where he talks about his life. Now because he resurrects the dead, it's special? Clearly not. A special event is something surprising. For example a fundraiser for a good organisation, and not himself - again.

So what exactly is the special event in those non-special-events? He puts up a goal on screen, with the progress he made. wow

Let me transfer my opinion right to you, Phil. An event which would make people donate and possibly save your home would be something you are literally unable to do. Not anyone else, just you. It demands you swallow your pride and ego, start to be open to opinions which aren't just parroted copies of yours. What you have to do is make an open invitation to at least your audience. A real event would include the fans you depend on during the current hot time. You have to be able to increase your charisma - you stupid fuck. Play something with them! You don't have to talk with them, just play stuff with them! Or what would really shake the earth, is when you would consider inviting everyone, detractors or fans alike. But you are sadly unable to laugh at yourself, you unfunny failed attempt of an entertainer.

This would be an event. Not your plan of isolated OLD single player games, drinking alcohol and talking about your tax problems. Get a grip, old man. It's not hard to see why people doubt your story of the hole which sucks in your money, when you won't even jump over your own shadow to save your lazy hairy ass.

His plan so far, broken down:
Pledge me money. But more than ever before! lol
A genius at work.
 
Last edited:
  • Business class Internet for personal use: $200 a month
  • Going out to eat for two people once a week: $80 a month
  • PS Vue: $50 a month
  • Netflix: $10.99 a month
  • WWE shit: $9.99 a month
Total: $350.98 a month on luxuries he doesn't need to be alive, safe, and comfortable.

He could have saved up $4,211.76 for his taxes. An entire month of tips, subs, and bits every year goes to this garbage.

EDIT:
  • Two bottles water a day: $50 a month
  • One Kickstart a day: $30 a month.
New total that could be saved: $5,171.75.
 
Last edited:
Idiot! I only answer questions when I'm tipped or bitched, ok? Both would be best. And don't forget my paytreon, that gives you tremendous power over my stream choices for the very low donation of 5 $ a month. Of course your votes will be denied or ignored by me, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Get a job
 
Stardew Valley which is considered a chill project. I'd say a boring project. Stardew Valley is slow, even if you know what to do. It's a good game, but this is now the fourth slow game in his list, with Axiom Verge with the possibly fastest progression and at least some action. Also a game which many people already know, as it was - and still is - a very popular replacement for Harvest Moon.

Or the "Holiday Vlahg" as he pronounces it. He just hangs around with people and talks about the holidays. Or do we know better? Possibly just a prestream in disguise with a lot of begging and blaming. So he talks, which he normally does anyway, more than he even should do. In any case, day 4 fails to meet my expectation as something special or as an event for two reasons: First, as stated, he talks in his prestream anyway. Second, he was known for entire vlogs where he talks about his life. Now because he resurrects the dead, it's special? Clearly not. A special event is something surprising. For example a fundraiser for a good organisation, and not himself - again.

So what exactly is the special event in those non-special-events? He puts up a goal on screen, with the progress he made. wow

Let me transfer my opinion right to you, Phil. An event which would make people donate and possibly save your home would be something you are literally unable to do. Not anyone else, just you. It demands you swallow your pride and ego, start to be open to opinions which aren't just parroted copies of yours. What you have to do is make an open invitation to at least your audience. A real event would include the fans you depend on during the current hot time. You have to be able to increase your charisma - you stupid fuck. Play something with them! You don't have to talk with them, just play stuff with them! Or what would really shake the earth, is when you would consider inviting everyone, detractors or fans alike. But you are sadly unable to laugh at yourself, you unfunny failed attempt of an entertainer.

This would be an event. Not your plan of isolated OLD single player games, drinking alcohol and talking about your tax problems. Get a grip, old man. It's not hard to see why people doubt your story of the hole which sucks in your money, when you won't even jump over your own shadow to save your lazy hairy ass.

His plan so far, broken down:
Pledge me money. But more than ever before! lol
A genius at work.

1. I actually like watching chill, relaxing streamers play Stardew Valley.

2. He LITERALLY STILL HAS A CHANNEL SPECIFICALLY FOR HIS VLOGS
 
Well i did not say "change that helped him" :biggrin:

The part that kills me is that he's not even making nominal attempts to reduce his costs--this hemming and hawing over whether to get rid of Hulu is the first thing that remotely resembles such. And he didn't even talk about potential cost-cutting measures he could theoretically take when he did his begging announcement. This whole thing is literally just "I expect you all to come up with $16k extra for me". That's insane even for Phil.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back