Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Lucas's new video "Alhambra". He paid 80 bucks for the game he could have purchased for less. The game is in German. He brings up "Dance of the Telomeres".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u5L8gQU_mc

tonguesharingMOMENT said
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These "games" are making less and less sense... What does the soda even mean? Besides appealing to his raging diabeetus?
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Soda appeals to teenagers. If I'm remembering right, back in the days when Lucas "fed the homeless", he'd leave candy, popcorn, soda, etc. as bait along with his creeper notes with the name of his insane website. Soda to bait in teenagers..
 
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Da Dude123 said:
So, Lucas is creating a game called "The Dance of the Telomeres" it is a game where the government sets up dances for older men and younger women to hook up. They drink soda, then dance, then hookup.View attachment 607800 View attachment 607800 View attachment 607801
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This is legitimately the funniest thing I’ve ever read on this site. Hell yeah mate get the sodas flowing and those birds will be all OVER your balding ugly tackle! Does he think this is how dates work? Step one, drink soda. Step two, dance. Step three, the mating and impregnating ritual occurs.

I do enjoy the process of the game as well. One hour of Soda Distribution Tycoon, then fifteen minutes of awkward dance roleplay, then whoever draws the SUCCESSFUL EJACULATION card wins. Sounds like a right whale of a time.


E: as for why he would include sodas, maybe he thinks teens get drunk on soda the way Spongebob Squarepants gets drunk on ice cream.
 
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I would love to see Lucas on To Catch a Predator. He would walk into the bait house with his batman pantaloons and board game in one hand with soda and candy in the other. After Hansen asks him to take a seat he'll go over the text messages sent by melon head where he talks about his super sperms and making babies with the 16 yo decoy before he tries to quickly shuffle back out of the front door and is tackled by the cops hiding around the corner. Cut to him being questioned at the police station and he's crying about ageism and how he's not fucked in 7 years.
Please godbear make this happen. I've been a good kiwi this year.
 
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I would love to see the Wern join a Dungeons and Dragons gaming group, try to live out his thirsty pedophilia desires vicariously in a fantasy game, and still get denied fantasy poon from a frustrated DM.
 
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Here is the rental application Lucas would have filled out to live at Pioneer Pathway. His income needs to be double the rent to qualify. He would not have been placed there if his check did not meet that requirement. He would also have known from the start how much rent he was going to have to pay. He'll be able to cover the rent and still have money left over. So there is something else going on with him claiming to go broke paying rent etc. I don't know what else he might have said on fb, has led to people commenting under his videos, thinking he is going to be homeless.

https://pioneerhumanservices.org/sites/default/files/phs-rental-application-packet-june-2016.pdf

"
INCOME- EMPLOYMENT
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"Lack of proper documentation proving adequate income to pay rent (earnings need to be 2 times rent amount.)"
 
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Trainwreck said:
The fact that he confirms this is horrifyingly disgusting.

Lucas Werner‏ @TheOnlyWern 16h16 hours ago
What kind of intelligent designer makes shitting both satisfying and disgusting at the same time? Feels great. Smells like the worst thing imaginable. #Atheism
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He said the same about his farts. I really pity the other residents on his floor, having to put up with the stench emanating from Lucas.
 
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Dumbest idea I've heard in a while. Yeah, just pay $5 to pass that hotel on Boardwalk. Sounds like a good game.
202948EB-CD39-4D36-94E4-A1EE57FC143C.jpeg
 
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He's not taking finals? Finals are Dec 11-13. Knowing Lucas don't think we'll know his real grades.

how is school going? I am in the midst of finals week and am dying

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Lucas Werner‏ @TheOnlyWern


I ended up with a 96% in one class and another will be somewhere between 90 and 92% after this last assignment.

4:50 PM - 7 Dec 2018
 
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mothman96 said:
He's not taking finals? Finals are Dec 11-13. Knowing Lucas don't think we'll know his real grades.

how is school going? I am in the midst of finals week and am dying

Yeah, I don't believe he is doing that well at all. If he was he would be tweeting all about it. I call bullshit on that. He rarely talks about class anymore and at the end of the semester is when things get busy. It will be interesting to see if he actually ends up returning next quarter.

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Lucas Werner‏ @TheOnlyWern


I ended up with a 96% in one class and another will be somewhere between 90 and 92% after this last assignment.

4:50 PM - 7 Dec 2018
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