DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[BrunoMattei]

It's quite ironic that Panda (someone with fairly obvious daddy issues) ended up with Dave. I can only imagine the harsh realization that the man several years her senior has even less (most likely zero) sexual experience than her 17 year old self.

Phil is definitely that inexperienced guy that keeps changing sexual position every few minutes like in porn and just repeats bad porn dialog "Oh baby, you like don't you, yeah you nasty cockslut! ACK ACK ACK SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT! Oh baby, you're dry. ACK ACK ACK. Time to use the lube!" Then when Phil achingly bends over to grab the KY under the bed, unknowingly exposing his piles and boil-covered hairy ass she pretends she has a headache and silently cries to sleep.

 

[Meerkat Ink]

It's quite ironic that Panda (someone with fairly obvious daddy issues) ended up with Dave. I can only imagine the harsh realization that the man several years her senior has even less (most likely zero) sexual experience than her 17 year old self.

 

[Haunter]

OK, please don't just post reaction pics/music/links.

"Don't post if you have nothing to say. If anyone could write your post, it doesn't need to be made."

 

[Freshtodeath]

This is Phil "my parents may be getting ill" Burnell. Darksyde "mentally ill kids" Phil. He clearly self diagnoses other people, why not himself?

He had one video with a girl in it during the camcorder LP days. I think it was just one video and I don't think her relationship to him was discussed.

He met her at his gaming meetup. He used to attend gaming events at a recreation center back then.

@DarkSoulsPhil

I think he does have autism in some capacity, possibly low functioning. He just lucked into money which makes life as an autist much easier.

 

[flatsoda]

Can I comment to say how much I appreciate these posts you make?

You can. And I genuinely appreciate the kind words. It makes trudging through the toxic sludge, that is Darksydephil's prestreams, feel worthwhile.

Speaking of which:

*HEAVY SIGH*

12/19/18 Second Prestream Part 2 - Call Of Duty Black Ops 4 Blackout, All Deaths Are Illegitimate Stream: "You cannot do business with Phil, and come out clean on the other side." - Fred Fuchs

This fucking prestream was a fucking journey. I thought Darksydephil could not get lower than what I had posted before, but he does it. He really does it.

Spoiler: Darksydephil Looks A Gift Horse In The Mouth

[2018-12-20 03:00:41 UTC] android___x: cheer50 if emerald seven has contacted you and told you to keep him private, would you tell us that or would you tell us you havent talked to him to protect him? lol

"Uhm, basically, I'M AN HONEST GUY. If someone asked me not to VIOLATE their trust, I would not. BUT, in this case, Emerald_Seven did not contact me. Again, I have no idea who this is. Uhm, I'm assuming at this point, considering how frequently the person has come back and gifted to subs to people, that they are just a REALLY, uhm, *LIP SMACK!* either a SUPERFAN, right? Or someone who LOVES MY CONTENT! Or just a GOOD SAMARITAN, who heard about my situation and just wants to help. I DON'T KNOW! Uhm, as they say, 'You don't look a gift horse in the mouth!' *THROAT CLEAR* ALTHOUGH, I think a lot of us are kind of skeptical, because of what happened with Tutankhamunnnn, over the summer. This Guy who comes out of nowhere! AGAIN! Someone we never heard of! Comes onto the streams, starts being INSANELY GENEROUS during streams! RIGHT? The difference here, is that Tutankhamunnnn, IMMEDIATELY, when he was on the streams, you could see, he was SPAMMING EMOTES! He was saying stuff that was DERAILING STREAM CHAT! And, QUITE FRANKLY, a lot of stream regulars were upset about his presence, on the streams. Because, they were basically like, 'Every time this guy shows up, the whole stream is about HIM! Uhm, no one pays attention to the game! No one pays attention to PHIL! It's all: is this guy going to drop more money, or is he going to say something?' Because he would say things like, 'Oh, I see Phil is good now. He doesn't need any money.' Or whatever. He would say stuff like that on the stream! And, it would just, basically, DERAIL the entire stream! And then eventually, the guy just LOST HIS MIND during a stream! I have no idea what happened! Guy loses his mind, and then tells me he want's all the money back! I'm like, 'You're an IDIOT. Uh, I don't know who the hell you think you are, but NO! YOU'RE GETTING NOTHING BACK. And, you know, I don't know why you're hating on me now-' Because, he DID! He sent me all this NASTY STUFF, *MOCKING VOICE* 'OH! You're a hypocrite! And you're a piece of shit!' Basically, he sent me this INSULTING, NASTY e-mail! OUT OF NOWHERE! Uhm, and I don't know what the hell had gone on! AT ALL! You know? But, it just seemed like The Guy was a big ATTENTION HOUND! You know what I mean? He always wanted all the attention, whenever he was on a stream! Uh, this Emerald_Seven guy is the complete opposite! He has not said a WORD! He has not contacted me! He has not, you know, he has not done anything to derail the streams! IN FACT, the streams end up being great, you know, because people are ENGAGED in the content! Rather than worrying, just about, 'Oh no! Here's a guy who is now going to derail everything!' So, maybe this is just a, you know, REALLY NICE GUY?? Or- or GIRL??? We don't know! Right? *THROAT CLEAR* *LIP SMACK!* So, I'm really not going to QUESTION IT! And like I said, I'M NOT GOING TO LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH! As, ALTHOUGH, WE are all SKEPTICAL, because of what happened with TUT! This seems to be a completely different situation! Which is a great thing! Right?"

Spoiler: It Takes A Village To Support Darksydephil

[2018-12-20 03:02:18 UTC] poopster420: charity50 Phil, I agree in the long term a grassroots approach is much more stable than one huge contributor. #charity

"RIGHT! And that's the thing, is, it's NOT just about ONE PERSON, showing up and saying, 'OH! Here we go! I'M THE HERO!' NO! It's about- I've always said this! Even when I started on Patreon in 2015! I always said, 'If HALF the people, WHO watch my content on YouTube-' Keep in mind, back then, I wasn't doing Live Streams like I do NOW! 'BUT, if HALF the people who watch my content on YouTube, gave A DOLLAR A MONTH, I would be *CONDESCENDING CHUCKLE* FINE! I would never to worry about YouTube ad revenue plummeting or NOTHING!' AND THAT STILL HOLDS TRUE! You know, still on YouTube, EVERY MONTH, I get a million or more VIEWS on my channel! Here on the streams- by the way, viewership is going UP AND UP, viewership's way up this month! Uhm, and people don't realize that! They just think that, 'Oh! You know, Phil can't- NOTHING can help people like Phil! Someone needs to come in and DROP A BOMB, you know, to help!' NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL! It's seriously not true! That's not the case! It's about CROWDFUNDING! Right? THAT'S HOW IT'S ALWAYS BEEN! That's how the MOST SUCCESSFUL people out there, are SUCCESSFUL! Because, of the CROWDS that come in and SUPPORT them! Not because of ONE PERSON coming in! So. *THROAT CLEAR* There You Go."

Spoiler: Darksydephil's Failing YouTube Business

[2018-12-20 03:03:46 UTC] mujtaba12321: cheer200 yes keep cheering and tipping cause youtube is basically dead now in terms of revenue for phil

"I'll be transparent with all of you! Is YouTube dead?! In regards to, making REVENUE for me? NO, not DEAD. BUT, it's nothing compared to what it used to be! I'll give you an example! YouTube used to be ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of my revenue. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT! From the years of 2011, uhm, all the way through early 2015! So for, FIVE STRAIGHT YEARS, if not LONGER, it was my ONLY source of income! And even then, when I adopted Patreon in 2015 and 2016, it wasn't until REALLY late 2016, that I actually adopted to be, kind of, a Live Streamer. And, that Twitch revenue started coming into play, into, you know, stuff that I do. SO, *LIP SMACK!* I was making so much money on YouTube, you know, that I didn't have to worry about other revenue sources! Uhm. NOW, and this is NO EXAGGERATION, what I make on YouTube, is PROBABLY, eh, eh, SOME MONTHS, less than TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT of my TOTAL INCOME! LESS THAN TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT! Okay? *FAKE LAUGH* How bad is that?! Right!"

[2018-12-20 03:10:48 UTC] kwer456: uhh from socialblade: its getting worse

"And by the way, STOP USING SOCIALBLADE. Someone just said, *MOCKING VOICE* 'OH! BUT, SOCIALBLADE!' Socialblade has NEVER ONCE EVER BEEN CORRECT! In regards to anything revenue-wise! PERIOD! And I mean that! Someone who is A TEN YEAR YOUTUBER, I used to use Socialblade! Uh, it's good for things- tracking subs and the like, it's ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE for tracking revenue! It's completely and UTTERLY FUCKING WRONG! It's never correct! You should never trust Socialblade when it comes to revenue! IT'S WRONG! Okay? BUT! YouTube went from being, 'I have enough money to pay all my bills, on YouTube revenue!' to 'I don't even have enough to pay ONE-FOURTH of my bills, with YouTube revenue!' That's how BAD YouTube has gotten! AND AGAIN! Is it a symptom of the website changing? YES. It's a symptom of them, changing things, corporately, Behind The Scenes, to be a site that- this, this, this BIG site, uh, that's very different from what it originally was meant to be! It's a symptom of them turning their entire business TOXIC, through AUTOMATION! Uhm, there's a million reasons why! And that's why, I don't want to be there anymore! Uh, you know, if, IT'S an archive of MY SHIT, and it's not somewhere I want to ACTIVELY make CONTENT for, because I just don't want to be a part of it anymore! You know? *THROAT CLEAR*"

Spoiler: DSP Answers A Paypigs Cheer With POSITIVE VIBES

[2018-12-20 03:09:09 UTC] android___x: cheer50 i think emerald seven wants you to marry kat so he is trying to help you get your finances fixed so you can pull the trigger!!! plus yes, that is why we are concerned after tut

" Android, LET'S RELAX! *READS PART OF THE CHEER IN A MOCKING VOICE, BECAUSE HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR HIS PAYING SUPPORTERS* Okay, ENOUGH OF THIS! *MUTTERING* I don't know what hell you're talking about!"

Spoiler: More Tut Talk

[2018-12-20 03:12:51 UTC] hunterissocool2: charity199 if emerald is doing exactly what Kingtut did isn’t there worry that the same result might occur. History does repeat itself #charity

"SEE! That's the thing! It's not! It's, like, it's DIFFERENT! It's VERY DIFFERENT, from what Tut did! Tut! From the day that Tut showed up, and started dropping CHEER BOMBS on stream, he was TALKING IN STREAM! He was DERAILING THE STREAM! The FIRST DAY he did it, he asked me to play Street Fight V that night, instead of something else! Right? IMMEDIATELY, he was trying to change the streams! Change the content! He was trying to get TONS of attention, for HIMSELF! *PIG SNORT* That it was all about HIM! Whenever he was here, IT WAS ALL ABOUT HIM! And, he would GOAD THE MODS, he would GOAD THE VIEWERS, he would GOAD EVERYONE! He would say STUPID SHIT! That he knows isn't allowed, and people would have to be like, 'Oh, okay, well, this guy is being SUPPORTIVE of Phil, so we'll let it slide!' Uhm, and like I said, then, on- on a WHIM, he FLIPPED! ON A WHIM! OUT OF NOWHERE! He completely FUCKING FLIPPED and changed. And became a guy who, apparently, hated my guts! Even though, he NEVER explained why! It never made any sense! What happened, LITERALLY, made ZERO SENSE! He gave NO JUSTIFICATION! NO EXPLANATION! Just, ON A WHIM! *FINGERSNAP* All of a sudden, he's arguing with mods! You know, insulting them, PHYSICALLY THREATENING one of them! Then he got banned, and then he comes to me and says, 'I want my money back!' It's like, 'Dude, you're out of your mind! You're ACTUALLY NUTS!' *GOAT LAUGH* *THROAT CLEAR* And that's the thing! THERE'S NO FAVORITISM ON MY STREAMS! I don't care if you're someone who's been watching me for ONE DAY, or, or TEN YEARS! I don't care if you're someone who NEVER, you know, CONTRIBUTED ANYTHING, or someone who has CONTRIBUTED A TON! Everyone gets treated fairly here! No one's going to get UNFAIR TREATMENT, and no one's going to get this special, uh, you know-er, uh, I DON'T WANT this stream to turn into a Good Old Boys Club! *MOCKING VOICE* 'OH! It's just US REGULARS around here! We're all SPECIAL and HAPPY! And because people CONTRIBUTED, or they're MODS, they're SPECIAL and HAPPY! And we all- THIS OUR STREAM and you guys, you know, YOU GUYS ARE JUST VISITORS! We're actually the-the-the guys who BELONG HERE!' I don't want that to ever happen! You know what I mean? Uhm, I want this stream to be somewhere- somewhere, where EVERYONE can come in and have fun, and have a chill time with me, and enjoy! AND not, turn it into a Good Old Boys Club. That's like the worst possible kind of thing, I think. Right? You know? So, There You Go! Right?"

Spoiler: DSP Wants Somebody To Tip Him The Money To Buy A New Calendar

"So, I am going to go through, the gaming release schedule for next year. And I'm going to, GET IT UP for- Well, not 'Get it-' 'I'm going to get it up!' Wow! Sounds sexual as hell! I'm going to GET IT, uh, READY, and QUEUED UP, is what I meant to say! For the podcast, so we can go through that TOGETHER, that Monday. And see, if you guys agree with me, or if I've missed anything. And then, I have to actually order, or, or BUY a calendar to update. Because, I don't even have 2019 calendar, YET! I have to get one! But I have have NO MONEY FOR ONE! *CHUCKLE* So, WHEN I GET SOME MONEY, I actually have to get a calendar here! Uh, and put it on my wall and repopulate it with all the new games that are coming out! *THROAT CLEAR*"

Spoiler: Darksydephil's Twitch Subs Ranking

[2018-12-20 03:16:51 UTC] mujtaba12321: cheer100 hey phil you currently the top person on twitch with the most tier 3 subs with 600. the next closest is 359

"Yeah. I KNOW. I don't know how you guys even see that! Because I don't pay attention to ANY OF THAT SHIT! But, you know, I guess, what the guy figured out was, if he does Tier 3 Subs, he could give subs to people who would use them. Rather than, he'll RUN OUT out of people to sub to the channel, if he does Tier 1 Subs this way. So. *SMUG CHUCKLE* *THROAT CLEAR*"

Spoiler: DSP Has A Delusional View Regarding His Twitch Chat

[2018-12-20 03:17:49 UTC] poopster420: charity50 As a newer viewer Im thankful its not an old boys club Phil. Your community has been fun and inclusive since day 1! #charity

"YEAH! I want people to feel, like, when you come here, you can become part of a place, where we're all chill. And, where we hang out and RESPECT each other! And we have fun together! Right? *GROSS THROAT CLEARING* So, that's it! I don't want it to become, 'Oh! It's the same twenty people every stream! And, if you're not part of that group, you're not included! How dare you even say anything in stream chat! You little-' And then you get bullied and stuff! NO WAY! Not going to have that happen! Okay? *LIP SMACK!*"

Spoiler: #DSPityParty

[2018-12-20 03:17:56 UTC] hunterissocool2: charity95 damn didn’t know that was the case with tut. How fucking weird. Need to make a biopic on your life XD #charity

"Yeah, I don't know, man! *LEG SLAP* SERIOUSLY! But, you don't even have to make a biopic, because, even though I LIVE MY LIFE, I just focus on the POSITIVE FUTURE! But, there are people that focus on the NEGATIVE SHIT! And they're the ones who fucking- I'm sure there will be YEAR END VIDEOS! *MOCKING VOICE* 'THE YEAR THAT PHIL HAD!' And all the DRAMA, that they fucking focus on, that I DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT, and don't care about! You know? Uhm. *THROAT CLEAR* I'm sure they'll go through every NEGATIVE POSSIBLE THING! They won't mention ANY POSITIVES from this year! ONLY NEGATIVES!! About, 'All the BAD STUFF that happened with Phil this year! All the DRAMA!' I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! You know?"

Spoiler: The Labors Of Darksydephil

"I guess we should start, huh? MORE THAN LIKELY, I will do about two hours of gameplay. So, I'll probably go until about nine-thirty-ish. Uhm. Because, I do, I have to shave and shower tonight! *TURNS ON FACECAM. LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING SLOB* I've got other shit to do tonight. My whole day, AGAIN, just like most days, is CRAZY BUSY! I finished streaming earlier. I uploaded. I got this Playstation 4 booted up and updated, because this game needed a major update, so I had to get the game updating. I ran downstairs. I had DINNER. I cleaned up after dinner. I had to take the trash out, because it's trash day! I had to make a shopping list, because Kat and I haven't shopped in NINE DAYS for groceries or anything! Because I haven't had a break! So, I had to make a big- I had to make a schedule of meals for the next week! Including what we're going to be doing for Christmas Day! And Kat had made a recipe, she found a recipe, she wants to make this next week on her day off! So, I have to find all the ingredients for that recipe! *FLAILS NOODLE ARMS* Have to make a GIANT SHOPPING LIST! Which took me, like, a long time to do! Then I had to do some more things downstairs! *FLAILS HANDS AROUND LIKE A MUPPET* THEN, IMMEDIATELY, I RAN UPSTAIRS, 'Oh, God! IT'S TIME TO GET THE STREAM READY!!' I START GETTING THE STREAM READY! AND AS I GET THE STREAM READY, I HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT! SO, THEN I HAVE TO RUN TO THE BATHROOM! TAKING A SHIT, AS THE STREAM WAS GOING! THE PRESTREAM! I HAVEN'T HAD A MOMENT TO JUST SIT DOWN AND BE LIKE, 'Oh! Let me relax for a second!' I *CONDESCENDING CHUCKLE* *LEG SLAP* don't even have time! I'm like RUNNING! *FLAILS NOODLE ARMS* Constantly: MOTION, MOTION, MOTION! So, it's like, 'GODDAMN!' So, FINALLY, HOPEFULLY, after tonight's stream ends around nine-thirty, I'LL START UPLOADING! I'LL SHAVE AND SHOWER! I'LL COME BACK! I'LL ADD VIDEOS TO PLAYLIST! Maybe, by then, it'll be, like, TEN-THIRTY, ELEVEN PM! AND THEN, MAYBE, *T-POSE* I'LL GET LIKE A HALF HOUR TO MYSELF! Before Kat comes home from work! *DROPS ARMS DRAMATICALLY* *FAKE LAUGH* Oh My God! *TAKES A SIP* This is just my whole day! My whole day is like, 'Can I get five minutes?!' NOPE! 'No Time For You!'"

 

[thebonesauce]

I could totally see Dark being closeted. His extremely over the top reactions and looking visibly uncomfortable during any scenes involving flamboyant homosexuality... It would make a lot of sense.

He absolutely clams up and squirms when fags are on screen, like that one dude from DQXI. Now, when Clementine had to suture her own laceration? He took ENTIRELY too much pleasure from that.

 

[Agentsmith]

Tonight at 10; do you know a sociopath? They are more common than you think. Tune in to see the special episode: Inside the twisted mind of a sociopath

Sweet Maria he is delusional

Yes - flatsoda - your work is much appreciated mate

 

[actually]

Spoiler: Lies

"RIGHT! And that's the thing, is, it's NOT just about ONE PERSON, showing up and saying, 'OH! Here we go! I'M THE HERO!' NO! It's about- I've always said this! Even when I started on Patreon in 2015! I always said, 'If HALF the people, WHO watch my content on YouTube-' Keep in mind, back then, I wasn't doing Live Streams like I do NOW! 'BUT, if HALF the people who watch my content on YouTube, gave A DOLLAR A MONTH, I would be *CONDESCENDING CHUCKLE* FINE! I would never to worry about YouTube ad revenue plummeting or NOTHING!' AND THAT STILL HOLDS TRUE! You know, still on YouTube, EVERY MONTH, I get a million or more VIEWS on my channel! Here on the streams- by the way, viewership is going UP AND UP, viewership's way up this month! Uhm, and people don't realize that! They just think that, 'Oh! You know, Phil can't- NOTHING can help people like Phil! Someone needs to come in and DROP A BOMB, you know, to help!' NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL! It's seriously not true! That's not the case! It's about CROWDFUNDING! Right? THAT'S HOW IT'S ALWAYS BEEN! That's how the MOST SUCCESSFUL people out there, are SUCCESSFUL! Because, of the CROWDS that come in and SUPPORT them! Not because of ONE PERSON coming in! So. *THROAT CLEAR* There You Go."

It's really interesting that he says this, because it is literally how he gets most of his money. He pretty much relies on large single cheerers and tippers to "run his business" (and I use that phrase as loosely as possible). Also, Phil, you don't get a million views a month anymore, bucko. Let that dream go.

Spoiler: "I don't know what busy actually is"

"I guess we should start, huh? MORE THAN LIKELY, I will do about two hours of gameplay. So, I'll probably go until about nine-thirty-ish. Uhm. Because, I do, I have to shave and shower tonight! *TURNS ON FACECAM. LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING SLOB* I've got other shit to do tonight. My whole day, AGAIN, just like most days, is CRAZY BUSY! I finished streaming earlier. I uploaded. I got this Playstation 4 booted up and updated, because this game needed a major update, so I had to get the game updating. I ran downstairs. I had DINNER. I cleaned up after dinner. I had to take the trash out, because it's trash day! I had to make a shopping list, because Kat and I haven't shopped in NINE DAYS for groceries or anything! Because I haven't had a break! So, I had to make a big- I had to make a schedule of meals for the next week! Including what we're going to be doing for Christmas Day! And Kat had made a recipe, she found a recipe, she wants to make this next week on her day off! So, I have to find all the ingredients for that recipe! *FLAILS NOODLE ARMS* Have to make a GIANT SHOPPING LIST! Which took me, like, a long time to do! Then I had to do some more things downstairs! *FLAILS HANDS AROUND LIKE A MUPPET* THEN, IMMEDIATELY, I RAN UPSTAIRS, 'Oh, God! IT'S TIME TO GET THE STREAM READY!!' I START GETTING THE STREAM READY! AND AS I GET THE STREAM READY, I HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT! SO, THEN I HAVE TO RUN TO THE BATHROOM! TAKING A SHIT, AS THE STREAM WAS GOING! THE PRESTREAM! I HAVEN'T HAD A MOMENT TO JUST SIT DOWN AND BE LIKE, 'Oh! Let me relax for a second!' I *CONDESCENDING CHUCKLE* *LEG SLAP* don't even have time! I'm like RUNNING! *FLAILS NOODLE ARMS* Constantly: MOTION, MOTION, MOTION! So, it's like, 'GODDAMN!' So, FINALLY, HOPEFULLY, after tonight's stream ends around nine-thirty, I'LL START UPLOADING! I'LL SHAVE AND SHOWER! I'LL COME BACK! I'LL ADD VIDEOS TO PLAYLIST! Maybe, by then, it'll be, like, TEN-THIRTY, ELEVEN PM! AND THEN, MAYBE, *T-POSE* I'LL GET LIKE A HALF HOUR TO MYSELF! Before Kat comes home from work! *DROPS ARMS DRAMATICALLY* *FAKE LAUGH* Oh My God! *TAKES A SIP* This is just my whole day! My whole day is like, 'Can I get five minutes?!' NOPE! 'No Time For You!'"

This is the thing that makes me want to see Phil have to get an actual job. He's so far removed from reality that he thinks turning on a PS4, "making dinner" (read: heating something up in the microwave), taking out the trash, putting dishes in the dishwasher, and making a grocery list is tough. He's also said recently that he gets up at like 8:30 AM. Now that's almost certainly bullshit, but let's pretend he's telling the truth on that. It's clear he does nothing else in the morning, so why isn't he showering and shaving then? His stream doesn't even turn on until 10:15-10:30 AM, and he doesn't talk for, what, another 30 minutes?

Phil (or your buttboy superspy), this is not a busy day. You do literally nothing outside your condo most days. You spend no time reaching out to make business connections. You don't even respond to fans on Twitter most of the time. Making and eating dinner, followed by cleaning up after yourself? That's the norm, a bare minimum. You don't even cook food most of the time. Your "making dinner" should take no more than 5 minutes. You have a dishwasher, so cleaning up after yourself should consist of little more than rinsing off the large food bits and putting that dish in the appropriate slot. Between you and Kat, I can't imagine you have to run that thing more than 2 times a week.

In short, Phil, if you actually think you're busy and aren't just trying to play at being an adult for your mostly teenage audience, that's a big yikes, man. Get help.

 

[thebonesauce]

Pictured: Darksfadil wringing his hands after shaving off his shitty goatee for 4500+ gifted subs.

I’m not the only one who really thinks nigga lookin like Gargamel right?

 

[Draza]

It's really interesting that he says this, because it is literally how he gets most of his money. He pretty much relies on large single cheerers and tippers to "run his business" (and I use that phrase as loosely as possible). Also, Phil, you don't get a million views a month anymore, bucko. Let that dream go.



This is the thing that makes me want to see Phil have to get an actual job. He's so far removed from reality that he thinks turning on a PS4, "making dinner" (read: heating something up in the microwave), taking out the trash, putting dishes in the dishwasher, and making a grocery list is tough. He's also said recently that he gets up at like 8:30 AM. Now that's almost certainly bullshit, but let's pretend he's telling the truth on that. It's clear he does nothing else in the morning, so why isn't he showering and shaving then? His stream doesn't even turn on until 10:15-10:30 AM, and he doesn't talk for, what, another 30 minutes?

Phil (or your buttboy superspy), this is not a busy day. You do literally nothing outside your condo most days. You spend no time reaching out to make business connections. You don't even respond to fans on Twitter most of the time. Making and eating dinner, followed by cleaning up after yourself? That's the norm, a bare minimum. You don't even cook food most of the time. Your "making dinner" should take no more than 5 minutes. You have a dishwasher, so cleaning up after yourself should consist of little more than rinsing off the large food bits and putting that dish in the appropriate slot. Between you and Kat, I can't imagine you have to run that thing more than 2 times a week.

In short, Phil, if you actually think you're busy and aren't just trying to play at being an adult for your mostly teenage audience, that's a big yikes, man. Get help.

He delusionally belives that his ineptness and incomptence when doing daily normal tasks (showering,cooking,cleaning, good sleep schedule,etc.), that majority of people can do just fine, a sense of "work" or effort him. As you and many other people pointed it out for him for years, it is simply not the case. He's just a lazy moron who can't function like a grown adult and do simple tasks with out fucking up (ex. DSP Tries It Ramen Noodles). It obvious that he actually needs help becoming a functioning normal adult who can properly take care of himself and his home, but due to his anti-social behavior, stuborness to not change, and inability to take any form of legitimate criticism he's stuck in his delusional fantasy of a "hard working" person. It also looks that Kat is make things any better, since she's either enabling his lies or doing nothing to stop it.

 

[PenskeMaterial]

Speaking of Dark and females, does anyone remember Evvie? She did a playthrough of Earth Defence Force with Dave back in 2011, and was never heard from again.

Since this was a few months before Phil flaunted Panda Lee, and around the time they were talking to each other, I wonder if she was just a work friend he convinced/fooled into doing a playthrough with him, or was Evvie a backup serious adult female in case things didn't work out with Leanna, or vice versa.

After all, The Chad of Hate has to have a trophy female to show off.

This is the playthrough - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioHhgwYKkOA

 

[WeeblesWobble]

*snip*

Seriously, thank you for all of this.


As for Phil, it didn't take long for him to tell his fans that Emerald's contributions are useless (I NEED MONEY NOW!!) and to shit on Tut. It boggles my mind how unappreciative this man is towards people who give him large sums of money. I've seen streamers get 5 bucks and lose their shit because they were so thankful. Maximillian got a rather large donation and was trying to give it back because he didn't want to take that type of money from someone, the guy had to insist that he took it. Phil pockets the money and asks why there isn't more. He is the living equivalent of the homeless people in Soutpark. Put some change in their cup and they keep asking as if you never gave them anything.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

Let me ask you a question in all earnestness and good faith: do you think he cares that anyone, anywhere, takes umbrage with how obvious his greed is? Do you think he'd persist for as long as he has if he was losing sleep over how many people have called him out?

Do you know why he even mentions them, ever? The same reason any SJW tumblrite beggar does: to rally people to his cause and give them a common enemy to hurt. And what's the best way to piss off a bunch of anonymous detractors? To help their target succeed and thrive. Phil doesn't care about anyone else except Phil, and that includes the people who rile him up. They might get his blood pressure to rise a bit but he's not sparing them a single moment's thought.

Yes I think he does, his ego is fragile and he can’t take being made a clown.

Go call him greedy on twitter or in his chat and see how fast he insults and bans you. He’s obviously going to beg for more easy bucks but he doesn’t want people calling him out on it, and it clearly hurts his ego or image of himself when it’s said to varying degree.

 

[OneDaySon]

In summary, I think Panda and Kat were Phil's only girlfriends.

I think the biggest giveaway was Leanna and how he shoved her in everything and for Kat and Leanna he always says "My girlfriend" before their names. During both their early days too he made sure to mention them all the time and brag about how he has a girlfriend. It was very "My first girlfriend" kind of deal with Leanna. The way he tried to make everyone jealous. Reminded me of like a 13 year old bragging to his friends about how he has a girlfriend and they've kissed and everything! Even made out! It was that kind of show off behaviour that you have when you have your first girlfriend. Remember how Phil practically stalked Kat with a camera for the first few days and posted shit on instagram until Kat blatantly told him to stop?

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

I think the biggest giveaway was Leanna and how he shoved her in everything and for Kat and Leanna he always says "My girlfriend" before their names. During both their early days too he made sure to mention them all the time and brag about how he has a girlfriend. It was very "My first girlfriend" kind of deal with Leanna. The way he tried to make everyone jealous. Reminded me of like a 13 year old bragging to his friends about how he has a girlfriend and they've kissed and everything! Even made out! It was that kind of show off behaviour that you have when you have your first girlfriend. Remember how Phil practically stalked Kat with a camera for the first few days and posted shit on instagram until Kat blatantly told him to stop?

Of course Leanna was his first girlfriend, we’ve never heard stories about him moving across the country or flying out another girl before her.

 

[rizlajizzla]

Do you guys know who Fred West is? He and his wifey killed a bunch of girls and some of their own kids and were sincerely despicable. I was snuggled up my gout relieving orthopedic loveseat yesterday with my horse and hamsters, as you do, watching a documentary about these murders, incest, torture, you know, educational. It was a cold, cozy day and I had a lovely hot mug of V8 Energy Drink.

At some point in this doc, this serial killer is confessing, or even bragging and I heard him say a phrase, and I know down in the dark corners of my cold heart we will eventually hear Phil say something similar. He said, 'well, that's the truth, you can believe what you want but that is the truth.'

I swear to god, one day Phil will say that, if he has not already. That nigga is gonna get smacked down by literal god for gaslighting the very idea of objective truth.

I swear to god, I wish I could lie like Phil. I am sure I would get struck by lightening if I tried.

 

[Prince Lotor]

JFC of course Phil has to shit all over the estimated revenue amount shown on Social Blade, it makes him wake up in a cold sweat the thought of his paypigs figuring out how much fucking money he actually makes.
He makes it out as if Social Blade shows an exact amount of money made that it rips from your analytics. It shows an estimated range based on multiplying your raw views against a CPM range between $0.25 and $4, and it assumes your channel is monetized. For example it still shows an Estimated Ad Revenue range for StyxHexenHammer666 despite his channel not being monetized.
And since you keep running your mouth about it, you pretty clearly indicated that your current or average YouTube CPM is still a little under the $2 mark, and that is right in the middle of the range Social Blade shows you make so it actually is a correct estimate in your case.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

Tonight at 10; do you know a sociopath? They are more common than you think. Tune in to see the special episode: Inside the twisted mind of a sociopath

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Sweet Maria he is delusional

Yes - flatsoda - your work is much appreciated mate

This is my favorite victim excuse from dark. He’s not aware enough to realize that there’s a reason people go out of their way to troll/hurt him. He never thinks there’s a reason why despite plenty of people being way more popular than him they don’t see anywhere near the level of dedicated trolling he does.

But nah, obviously these people just like to make up lies about only him, the Internet just drew a name from a hat one day and he’s the unlucky name that got drawn

 

[James Smith]

Evvie was Evvie Fox.

 

[DerelictOnion]

This is my favorite victim excuse from dark. He’s not aware enough to realize that there’s a reason people go out of their way to troll/hurt him. He never thinks there’s a reason why despite plenty of people being way more popular than him they don’t see anywhere near the level of dedicated trolling he does.

But nah, obviously these people just like to make up lies about only him, the Internet just drew a name from a hat one day and he’s the unlucky name that got drawn

He rationalizes it like this: Since he posts(posted at least) all these videos showing his house, car and girlfriend the detractors and trolls became jealous of him. Its not because he is the biggest guy on twitch and youtube but because he revealed so much of his life.

Funny thing is he only did it to brag so even if this was the reason he is trolled so much it is once again his fault it came to this.