Inactive Terry A. Davis / Terrence Andrew Davis - Creator of TempleOS (formerly LoseThos/sparrowOS)

I always like to read what lolcows get prescribed because most are Americans and it's interesting to see what's prescribed on the other side of the pond, and when it comes to neuroleptics I am always in awe how psychiatrists there seem to vastly prefer the old school typical ones, like Chlorpromazine and even stuff like Trifluoperazine. Not saying they aren't effective, mind you but they are quite a bit worse in terms of adverse side effects. A lot of that old school stuff was also cited in studies about loss of grey brain matter in long-term antipsychotic usage, which basically in clear terms means that they *might* cause permanent brain damage. (Schizophrenia itself is suspected too, though - again we don't know enough) My guess is the Americans like prescribing them because they're cheaper. Trifluoperazine (but not only) for example also causes things like mydriasis (excessive dilation of the pupils) which can cause glaucoma in far-sighted people. So in other words, you can literally go blind. This is all just mentioned to make it clear how un-fun these medications are and how important it is to have a psychiatrist who is on top of his game. Then you still have health insurance Fatcat Mr. McMoneybags who loudly wonder why psychiatrists can't see their patients in Skype in order to cut down costs, it's not like a broken arm that needs actual treatment, right?!

Schizophrenia can only be managed, not cured. The management of it is difficult. The worst break is always the first when the affected don't know what's wrong with them, it's pretty much always life-changing in bad ways (homelessness, jobs get lost, studies interrupted, partners leave etc.) later ones are easier to catch and usually not as deliberating because patients actually know what's up and can often recognize the early symptoms themselves. (A voice told me to drown my pets and then cut my wrists, I did none of that but I asked my psychiatrist to see me a week sooner) Full blown psychotic breaks are always bad though, it always takes something away from the people. Many commit suicide because they know there's no cure and they often realize themselves how they deteriorated/are deteriorating with no end in sight. I feel the same probably has happened to Terry. As that youtube comment has shown, society is still not very open regarding genuinely mentally ill people. This is also the fault of all the tumblerinas and people with 3000 genders because genuinely ill people get thrown with them in the same pot by the less discerning, that's why I have no respect for "autistic" people like that commenter. (Who knowing the internet, probably has nothing besides a bad case of "I don't wanna leave my parents house and take on adult responsibilities")
 
I got introduced to Terry via Jim's video, so I only knew the broad strokes of his LoseThos/SparrowOS days. Learned quite a bit of Terry lore today.

I gotta say Freddie really pulled all the stops for this video. I can't imagine just how many hours he must've spent digging through the wayback machine, even though he had a cheat sheet on KF. The edition and music were really something too. I was about to close the video when he started playing Terry's final video. That one went right on the feels.
 
I been putting off watching this video because I remember being pretty upset when I found out Terry died. But I'm glad I ended up watching anyway because it was quite well done.
I really appreciate knudsen's unbiased take on Terry. It was a great video. But man it really hurt my heart to see the gradual decline of Terry's mental state.

F
 
They have a huge list of side effects. Sometimes they also suddenly stop working or cause health issues and then the patient needs something else.

And one of the symptoms of schizophrenia is delusions. Such as that the pills are POISON and that people are poisoning them. Whereupon they stop taking them. Christ, that foul fucking cunt needs to die.
 
Watching that video really shows how bad schizophrenia affects people. It’s honestly one of the saddest ways to go. I followed him pretty closely at first because it was a devolving mess. Later, I followed him him because of the impact schizophrenia had on him.

There is no doubt that terry was an amazingly gifted person. While his end result was a nearly useless OS, it really showed how anybody, despite everything against him, could create something so incredible. It’s awful to see how he devolved over the years. I only hope he found peace within himself and is talking with the Oracle in heaven.

I miss you, you crazy schizophrenic coder.
 
Here's an interesting comment, to his neighbors they only knew him as that guy who'd buy a 2l and a pack of cigs daily and it's backed up by the fact the guy in the "hey nigger" video saw him that way too:
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Edit: decided to look up the commenter, and found this comment they made to autism speaks.
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There are two types of autists: The ones that don't advertise it and those who do. One is more autistic than the other.

Here's an interesting comment, to his neighbors they only knew him as that guy who'd buy a 2l and a pack of cigs daily and it's backed up by the fact the guy in the "hey nigger" video saw him that way too:
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I fucking hate the pearl clutching of some of these people. It's sad to see that Fred suffers from having an insufferable audience, he seems like a chill guy who just quietly follows his principles.
 
I'm not sure if this has been discussed in the thread, but what do you guys think about Terry mentioning having pedophilic thoughts? Was he a pedo or were those thoughts the result of schizophrenia?
It’s a legit question. Given the pure quantity of the incidences he mentions and that he does so in the same paragraph that he confesses to murdering a CIA agent, I’m inclined to believe at least some of that stuff was misremembered. But perhaps fanboyism is clouding my judgement.
 
It’s a legit question. Given the pure quantity of the incidences he mentions and that he does so in the same paragraph that he confesses to murdering a CIA agent, I’m inclined to believe at least some of that stuff was misremembered. But perhaps fanboyism is clouding my judgement.

After watching Jim's video I'm inclined to agree. Jim read some of Terry's tweets that talked about CIA niggers sending underage girls to sexually provoke him, which makes it sound like just another delusion of his. That said I'm certainly no expert on Terry.
 
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I'm not sure if this has been discussed in the thread, but what do you guys think about Terry mentioning having pedophilic thoughts? Was he a pedo or were those thoughts the result of schizophrenia?
Honestly, I don't know and truthfully, both options are horrifying. Either Terry was a pedo who just also happened to be a schizophrenic, or a schizophrenic whose mental illness was so bad it caused him to have those awful delusions. If it's the latter, does that mean everything else he said in that rambling post was just his schizophrenia talking or did some of those things actually happen?

That's the weird and unsettling thing about that post. It seems like normally it was pretty easy to spot when what Terry was saying was just the result of his schizophrenia. The claims would be outlandish and ridiculous. However, some of the claims made in this are much more grounded (in comparison to everything else) and are disturbingly plausible.

As for him actually being a pedo, if I had to guess I'd say no. Only because I feel like he would have brought it up way more often if he was.
 
After watching Jim's video I'm inclined to agree. Jim read some of Terry's tweets that talked about CIA niggers sending underage girls to sexually provoke him, which makes it sound like just another delusion of his. That said I'm certainly no expert on Terry.

Delusions. Schizophrenia seems to love to force “bad thoughts” on people. Terry knew pedophilia was terrible so therefore his illness caused intruding thoughts or paranoia about it. Schizophrenia torments people in such cruel ways.

It’s why I hate those tumblr alters types so much. The voices Schizophrenics hear, usually, say horrible terrible things that cause stress and torment. (They night also bear the voice of god but the “bad” voices are what torments them most of the time.)

Anyone who has ever known a promising person get sacked by this dreadful disease right as their adult life began can have nothing but sympathy and goodwill for people like Terry. They got dealt a brutal, cruel hand by their own mind.
 
As for him actually being a pedo, if I had to guess I'd say no. Only because I feel like he would have brought it up way more often if he was.

When he was genuinely psychotic, he really didn't have much in the way of filter, as in the video where he just says "hey nigger" to someone walking by. If he had any tendency toward such behavior, there would have been a record of it.
 
Either Terry was a pedo who just also happened to be a schizophrenic, or a schizophrenic whose mental illness was so bad it caused him to have those awful delusions.

There's actually a form of OCD called "Pedophile OCD" (POCD) where one worries incessantly about the thought that they are a pedophile, even though they clearly aren't and have no intentions of ever harming a child. It sounds like a load of BS, but when you consider people who were sexually abused as children, it makes a lot more sense. Essentially, they're worried they will become their abusers.

Here's an explanation of the condition, and here's some more information about it. While OCD and schizophrenia are entirely different conditions, the thoughts regarding pedophilic behaviour stem from the same source -- paranoid delusions.
 
After watching Jim's video I'm inclined to agree. Jim read some of Terry's tweets that talked about CIA niggers sending underage girls to sexually provoke him, which makes it sound like just another delusion of his. That said I'm certainly no expert on Terry.
Not only that but Terry was pretty open about what he did masturbate to. He was extremely obsessed with Dianna Cowern to the point of borderline cyberstalking her, filming masturbation videos intended for her, streaming his masturbation sessions as he browsed pornhub, and fapping to photos of her face photoshopped onto some porn star.

He wouldn't be talking about the CIA sending child sex agents deepthroating 45s at the DMV to fuck with him at all if that were the case. If anything he had a fear of the CIA trying to turn him into a pedophile with child sex agents and whatnot.
 
There's actually a form of OCD called "Pedophile OCD" (POCD) where one worries incessantly about the thought that they are a pedophile, even though they clearly aren't and have no intentions of ever harming a child. It sounds like a load of BS, but when you consider people who were sexually abused as children, it makes a lot more sense. Essentially, they're worried they will become their abusers.

Here's an explanation of the condition, and here's some more information about it. While OCD and schizophrenia are entirely different conditions, the thoughts regarding pedophilic behaviour stem from the same source -- paranoid delusions.

That's interesting because in the rant I'm thinking of Terry also mentioned being sexually abused by his older brothers.
 
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