Historical Lolcow General

Idi Amin is my favorite historical lolcow.

This documentary about him is one of my favorites:

This one of my favorite antics that he pulled off. During the 1970s, the United Kingdom was in a recession and Idi donates 43,000 Ugandan shillings to "rescue" the British:

This song is also pretty hilarious:
 
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Who were some lolcows from way back in the day? Or at least lolcow-like.
I can't really think of any off the top of my head.
 
registereduser said:
Nah, I definitely feel bad for Charles, too. He had all kinds of problems, but the people around him just chalked it up to him being cursed, or some stupid shit. I just find the idea of a royal family inbreeding themselves out of existence amusing, because of the elitist ideas behind their inbreeding.
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at the bottom of his wikipedia page:
"His body did not contain a single drop of blood; his heart was the size of a peppercorn; his lungs corroded; his intestines rotten and gangrenous; he had a single testicle, black as coal, and his head was full of water."
 
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I remember learning that president Lyndon Johnson had to have everything share his initials. He nicknamed his wife ladybird, hence she had the lbj initials too. He had a dog named little beagle Johnson. I think one of his daughters also has the initials lbj.

Maybe not officially "lolcow", but definite obsessive.

OH. I forgot lbj also named his weiner "jumbo", and he and Chris almost had the same 'do right before he died: http://jefffsbeardboard.yuku.com/topic/14171/Presidential-Facial-Hair
 
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John Sununu, President HW Bush's chief of staff, loved to use government transportation for stupid trips like a stamp auction and to go to the dentist in his home state:

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Al-Hakim bi-Amr Allah, a Fatmid caliph, was a horrorcow of his day. From what we know of him, he despised the game of chess and the vegetable watercress and had them both outlawed. He also demanded conversions from non-Muslims and then allowed them to switch back to their previous faith the next day. Other than than, he arbitrarily ordered executions (and often carried them out himself) and eventually became very resented by his subjects. One night he rode out into the desert and he was never seen again. They did find the donkey he had been riding and his clothes, of which had been stained with blood. The Druze venerate him for reasons that I can scarcely understand.

There was also this one Ottoman sultan, Ibrahim, who spent all of his time in his room and never wanted to come out and actually do any governing. He also had headaches a lot and frequently crashed into slumber due to stress. He was very easily manipulated by concubines and women in general.
 
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I saw someone mentioned Schettino.
I'd say Borghezio is by far the most lulzworthy Italian "vip".
He is among the ranks of a separatist party, drinks heavily, shouts racist slurs and is a tinfoil hatter.
 
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers

Gotta mention the fucking Collyers. Two toothless hoarders that got literally killed by their hoard. 140 tons of garbage with booby traps built in to catch would-be intruders. It always amazes me at how paranoid white trash hoarders are about other people wanting their garbage. Anyway, one of the brothers met his demise via one of these traps. The other was wheelchair bound and starved to death shortly after.
 
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I know I might take some heat for this, but I actually think Adolf Hitler is a lolcow in a way.

Basically, when he did get power and all that, he pushed his armies to the limits, and was basically going batshit crazy. Around the time of his eventual suicide, he was getting even more mad. Yelling at his men like it was nothing, and having his brother-in-law, Herman Fegelein, killed for deserting.
 
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RogerRabbit1988 said:
I know I might take some heat for this, but I actually think Adolf Hitler is a lolcow in a way.

Basically, when he did get power and all that, he pushed his armies to the limits, and was basically going batshit crazy. Around the time of his eventual suicide, he was getting even more mad. Yelling at his men like it was nothing, and having his brother-in-law, Herman Fegelein, killed for deserting.
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The continuing plethora of Downfall parodies kind of proves he's an LOLcow, at least now.
 
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In an effort to literally save this thread from Hitler, I give you Richard Sharpe Shaver.

The short version: in 1932, he came to believe that a malfunction in a piece of factory equipment allowed him to hear the thoughts of his coworkers. Before long, he also began hearing the thoughts of evil creatures called "Deros" who lived in a secret realm of caverns beneath the world we know. He later claimed to have been captured by these creatures and held prisoner for eight years; in actuality he was in a mental institution. Upon his release, he began writing a long essay about the Deros and their world, which was incoherent even by the very relaxed standards of paranormal conspiracy theories.

But there have always been crazy people. What made him the 1940s equivalent of a lolcow was his discovery by Raymond Palmer, editor of Amazing Stories magazine. Palmer essentially became Shaver's ghostwriter, making his ramblings coherent and then using them as material for his magazine. In the years following World War II, Shaver's work (or Palmer's rewrites) appeared in almost every issue of Amazing Stories. Readers considered the stories a hoax rather than legitimate science fiction, but Shaver allegedly believed every word he wrote.

You can go read the rest of the article (or better yet, the cited sources) for yourself. My point is, Shaver is one of the few pre-internet figures who really seems to tick all the lolcow boxes, as opposed to just being a general weirdo. In the days before any idiot could make a blog, pulp magazines were the best source of crackpot ideas and nerd grievances. Palmer used his to give a public platform to an individual who was, to put it charitably, exceptional.
 
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Everybody's favorite greasy-haired cruise ship captain lolcow was on trial today for you know, crashing that ship and killing those 32 people:
http://abcnews.go.com/International/costa-concordia-captains-shocking-statements/story?id=27303659
http://www.theguardian.com/world/20...ught-ship-close-to-shore-treat-for-passengers

Here are five of the most shocking statements the man that Italian media have dubbed "Captain Coward" made to Italy's Channel 5 News.

1. He's not happy about what happened, but others have to share the blame.

2. He actually saved lives by steering the damaged ship to shore so it wouldn't sink in deeper water.

3. He never intended to leave the ship. He accidentally fell into a lifeboat.

4. Although he was instructed to return to the ship, he couldn't because he'd have had to swim thousands of feet in icy waters.

5. Swimming back to the sinking ship would have destroyed his cell phone.

Francesco Schettino denied taking the route near Giglio island to impress a Moldovan woman he had brought to the bridge. The woman has testified the two were lovers.

He said: “I wanted to kill three birds with one stone” – pay homage to the island and a retired commander living there, give passengers another experience and do a favour for the maitre d’, who was from Giglio.​
 
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This horrorcow story...there's a lot of ground to cover for this one, but here's a Tl;dr version that gives you a sample of some major wtfery.

1930-1952 Key West, FL: Carl Tanzler/Count Carl Von Cosel managed to bullshit his way into a job at a tuberculosis hospital in Key West where he met and became obsessed with a patient named Elena Hoyos who was a couple decades his junior. He managed to also bullshit himself into taking charge of her treatment and made up treatments that somehow involved giving her gifts and proclaiming his love for her.

Despite all of this, Hoyos died of consumption and Von Cosel paid for her funeral and grave, visiting it faithfully for a couple years and installing electricity and a phone line in her mausoleum. He then exhumed her body and dragged it home in a wagon where she was kept with him for seven years. During this time, he dressed her, talked to her, and very probably had sex with her and also claimed she would come back to life in brief spurts. The townspeople had suspected all of this for a long time and eventual the sheriff and Elena's sister confirmed the rumors.

After Von Cosel was arrested, he earned the sympathy of the public and media who found his actions romantic. Charges were dismissed because nobody knew what law to charge him with breaking. He died alone in his hoard with a doll he made with Hoyos's hair and clothing.

http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/notorious/necrophiles/story_6.html
 
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