Doomfist
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2019
After my ex tried to gouge out my eyes, I dumped her and didn't go down a methamphetamine spiral sucking off bikers for hotshots.
GOTEEEEEEMMMMM.
GOTEEEEEEMMMMM.
Tell us about that time you got sweet sweet revenge on someone - Post your best revenge story
- Thread starter W00K #17
- Start date
Tampon Head
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2018
One fucktard in my French class sat in front of me and had rancid breath. This was enough for him to land on my shit list. We were tasked to complete some translating exercise and he's brainless so he asks me if he can copy my answers. I oblige and freely let him copy my sheet. I felt like being a jackass so I filled all the answers in Spanish instead of French because the languages look similar to the untrained eye. He doesn't realize that the entire worksheet was copied in Spanish, but he still turns it in and summarily gets a 0. I had enough time to edit all my answers and receive an A. He calls me out for being dumb, but I show him my grade and he says that I tricked him (no shit).
Teacher didn't really care and she got a good laugh out of it. Was an interesting high school memory.
Teacher didn't really care and she got a good laugh out of it. Was an interesting high school memory.
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
One time I was at a party with this guy who had a history of showing up at parties he wasn’t invited to and stealing booze. When I went on a beer run, I picked up some prune juice. I poured most of it into a pint glass, with a couple of dribbles in two other glasses. My friends and I waited in the kitchen. When said booze thief came in, we told him that we’d just done the “Prune Juice Challenge” and Mike had pussied out. Booze thief, eager to prove that he was as capable of downing a pint of prune juice as anybody, took up the challenge. This did mean that one of the bathrooms was out of action for the rest of the party.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2013
My parents brought me into this gay world so I’ve gotten back at them by being The living embodiment of disappointment for 21 years.
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2018
My brother was trying to be a /fit/ faggot while looking like a malnourished twink. He has this nasty habit of taking (and subsequently breaking) shit that doesn't belong to him.
Well, he snuck into my room while I was taking care of the dog, took my laptop, & it. I was working on an assignment for school that was due the next day so needless to say I was fucking furious. Worst part is, he didn't even apologize then said it was already broken when he got it. Fucking twat. This is something he has done since we were little kids so high school aged me wasn't fucking tolerating it anymore. A list of shit he's broken of mine over the years because I let him " borrow " it or he took without asking:
So I did what any other sensible person would and slowly added a tablespoon of salt into the gigantic jug of protein powder he had until he noticed it. When he started complaining about it, I told him it was salty because I put my bf's semen in it.
He threw up everywhere.
Never touched my shit again without asking.
Well, he snuck into my room while I was taking care of the dog, took my laptop, & it. I was working on an assignment for school that was due the next day so needless to say I was fucking furious. Worst part is, he didn't even apologize then said it was already broken when he got it. Fucking twat. This is something he has done since we were little kids so high school aged me wasn't fucking tolerating it anymore. A list of shit he's broken of mine over the years because I let him " borrow " it or he took without asking:
- Gameboy
- Gameboy Color
- Nintendo DS
- at least 4 PS games
- 2 laptops (this was the 2nd one)
- A $200 headset I got as a gift
- A glass sculpted flower our uncle made me
- A piggybank (which had $150 in it)
- An airplane I carved out of wood
- Various other toys I had from when I was a small child
So I did what any other sensible person would and slowly added a tablespoon of salt into the gigantic jug of protein powder he had until he noticed it. When he started complaining about it, I told him it was salty because I put my bf's semen in it.
He threw up everywhere.
Never touched my shit again without asking.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2014
Fuck, I would of just killed the stupid fuck after all of that.
You have the patient of a saint.
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2018
I've thought about.
A lot.
But unfortunately, there's this stupid law that says murder is bad even if the person had it coming for being a gigantic piece of shit for 20+ years and is still going strong.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2014
do it anyway fgtI've thought about.
A lot.
But unfortunately, there's this stupid law that says murder is bad even if the person had it coming for being a gigantic piece of shit for 20+ years and is still going strong.
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2018
- Joined
- May 10, 2017
Bitchy roommate who refused to clean up after herself or at all. So I did. Her toothbrush was especially useful for scrubbing hard to reach places.
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2019
My mother is a mentally ill abusive woman who lied to me for over 15 years about my father beating her to ensure I'd never leave her side. She made my life hell from the age of six onward with constant lying, financial instability, affairs, a bad second marriage, and so much more. I cut her off completely and rebuilt the relationship with my dad.
One day, out of the blue, I get a text message from her stating that she's about to be kicked out of the hotel she was temporarily living in and would be homeless.
I deleted the text.
One day, out of the blue, I get a text message from her stating that she's about to be kicked out of the hotel she was temporarily living in and would be homeless.
I deleted the text.
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2017
My sister's boyfriend stole my vidya, CDs and DVDs to buy drugs. 25 years of collecting gone. I couldn't get the fucker out of my house. The police said I couldn't get a restraining order because my sister had a right to let him stay here. Since I didn't see him steal I had no proof ect ect... Needless to say I never want to deal with the police again.
I did overhear him telling someone he had sold a bunch of CDs. But I guess that wasn't enough evidence. Fuck the police. I felt unsafe here and they did nothing. I should have left right then and there. But the damage was done.
They also sold furniture without permission including expensive cherry wood tables. I don't even have dining room chairs now. When I confronted my sister about this she threw a tantrum about how she was redecorating. She wouldn't even give me any of the money she made. And I pay all the bills and buy all the food. If she hadn't been behind a door I would have smashed her skull in. I swear.
So I talked to the executor of the estate and let him know what was done to me. Now if this SSI for muh anxiety druggie loser comes back in this house the authorities will definitely be involved as the executor has to be contacted. My sister was upset. Too bad. He caused way too much trouble for me with the drugs and weird people coming over and the theft. Neighbors were gossiping and I think he stole a package from the neighbor's doorstep. He even stole from my purse multiple times. My sister our ruined our relationship over a loser who emotionally abuses her and treats her like dirt. I never want to deal with her again. Go ahead and try to marry some piece of human slime who is going around telling people you aren't even together, has cheated on you multiple times and has rumors of hanging out at bathhouses swirling around him.
They ruined this house and they ruined my life. But at least I finally got rid of my sister's boyfriend and will never have to deal with him again before I move. I thought I'd be stuck with him here until I had to go.
The only thing I regret is that I threatened to mail a copy of the police report to his father and I never did. This is a guy in his 40s who still relies on mommy and daddy to support him because the tugboat is usually gone in a week.
I did overhear him telling someone he had sold a bunch of CDs. But I guess that wasn't enough evidence. Fuck the police. I felt unsafe here and they did nothing. I should have left right then and there. But the damage was done.
They also sold furniture without permission including expensive cherry wood tables. I don't even have dining room chairs now. When I confronted my sister about this she threw a tantrum about how she was redecorating. She wouldn't even give me any of the money she made. And I pay all the bills and buy all the food. If she hadn't been behind a door I would have smashed her skull in. I swear.
So I talked to the executor of the estate and let him know what was done to me. Now if this SSI for muh anxiety druggie loser comes back in this house the authorities will definitely be involved as the executor has to be contacted. My sister was upset. Too bad. He caused way too much trouble for me with the drugs and weird people coming over and the theft. Neighbors were gossiping and I think he stole a package from the neighbor's doorstep. He even stole from my purse multiple times. My sister our ruined our relationship over a loser who emotionally abuses her and treats her like dirt. I never want to deal with her again. Go ahead and try to marry some piece of human slime who is going around telling people you aren't even together, has cheated on you multiple times and has rumors of hanging out at bathhouses swirling around him.
They ruined this house and they ruined my life. But at least I finally got rid of my sister's boyfriend and will never have to deal with him again before I move. I thought I'd be stuck with him here until I had to go.
The only thing I regret is that I threatened to mail a copy of the police report to his father and I never did. This is a guy in his 40s who still relies on mommy and daddy to support him because the tugboat is usually gone in a week.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2013
My girlfriends ex boyfriend kept stalking her and doing crazy petty shit to get back at her like keying her car and trying to spread rumors about her at her workplace. I found his information online and told a gay friend of mine to write his number of the bathroom in the local gay nightclub. Fucker had so many horny drunk homos calling his house he had to change numbers.
P
PT 940
Guest
kiwifarms.net
A girl I went to school with was horrible to me. I'm talking grade school, people. Just stupid stuff like "I'm getting a perm and you're not!" and other such ridiculousness. Her mom would tell her to stop (her mom worked at the school) and she wouldn't. Lots of other people were witness to her pettiness and didn't like her. Best thing to do was keep your distance but she always started stuff anyway.
We ended up at the birthday party of a mutual friend. Mutual friend got a present from another kid that was a super fast water balloon filling-thing, which was totally awesome. The girl ended up pissing off everyone and people started throwing water balloons at her. Everyone else thought it was fun but she was mad and yelling every time she got hit. She got pelted with water balloons for a few hours. When her mom came to pick her up the girl told her what happened and her mom told her "get over it." It was so, so satisfying.
We ended up at the birthday party of a mutual friend. Mutual friend got a present from another kid that was a super fast water balloon filling-thing, which was totally awesome. The girl ended up pissing off everyone and people started throwing water balloons at her. Everyone else thought it was fun but she was mad and yelling every time she got hit. She got pelted with water balloons for a few hours. When her mom came to pick her up the girl told her what happened and her mom told her "get over it." It was so, so satisfying.
Brace yourselves in for a long one..
Back in the mid 2000s, my girlfriend at the time and I would talk over a messaging program during the day while we were working. One day she sends me this link saying "look at this stupid shit", the link led directly to an email of hers in a very popular free email service at the time. I was surprised that even happened and immediately closed it because I felt like I was invading her privacy even though she linked me to it. I was also surprised that it was so easy to access someone's email that way and it never asked me to log in.
She asked if I saw it, I told her that the link led directly into her email account and I wasn't comfortable with it. She says to me "it's okay, I have nothing to hide". Which crawled into the back of my head, because last time I heard that was when one of my parents said that to the other and turns out they were cheating, but I let it go.
Over the course of the next few weeks, shes started acting odd, making plans then cancelling them suddenly. One day we were both too busy to talk, so I called her at work asking if she wanted to meet somewhere for dinner, they told he she left early. Thought that was odd, because she would always call me when she left early to ask if I wanted to meet her somewhere. She was also telling me shit like she was gonna stay at her best friend's house on a night or two whatever, just stuff that I could pick up that she was lying. So that nothing to hide bit crawled back into my head, and I went back to my message archive one day and clicked on the link which still took me into her email and inbox.
First message I saw was unread from some dude saying he had a great time a few nights ago, happening on just one of the nights she also seemed to be staying at her friend's house. Still giving her the benefit of the doubt, I read it, yep it involved sex and wanting to see her again. Now you may be asking yourself, "wtf, why are they doing this over email?" Well, this was before everyone had a cellphone, so people still did shady shit over emails, not texting each other all the time.
I was so fucking furious, felt like a fool for being lied to and for trusting her. So I clicked reply, said something along the lines of "I think you gave me herpes. you said you were clean, don't ever fucking talk to me again." few extra choice words and hit send. Deleted his email, went into the sent folder, deleted the email I sent, then went and put his email in the block settings. If I wasn't having a good time, nobody was.
Next day I talked to her, said something like "hey, I heard you were out the other night, you and some guy were getting and handsy with each other, you cheating on me?"..she told me she wasn't, so I dumped her right there. Even if she did come clean, I was gonna dump her anyways but her lying still just pissed me off more. Sure it was shitty for me to go into her email, but in my mind at the time, I rationalized that it was okay because she had nothing to hide. Current me wouldn't had done it and tried to find out she was cheating in another more mature adult way, but I would had still found a way to burn it all to the ground.
Top the story off, I talked to her a few years later after that. She was still mad at me for dumping her for "no reason", which means she never found out how I handled the situation.
She asked if I saw it, I told her that the link led directly into her email account and I wasn't comfortable with it. She says to me "it's okay, I have nothing to hide". Which crawled into the back of my head, because last time I heard that was when one of my parents said that to the other and turns out they were cheating, but I let it go.
Over the course of the next few weeks, shes started acting odd, making plans then cancelling them suddenly. One day we were both too busy to talk, so I called her at work asking if she wanted to meet somewhere for dinner, they told he she left early. Thought that was odd, because she would always call me when she left early to ask if I wanted to meet her somewhere. She was also telling me shit like she was gonna stay at her best friend's house on a night or two whatever, just stuff that I could pick up that she was lying. So that nothing to hide bit crawled back into my head, and I went back to my message archive one day and clicked on the link which still took me into her email and inbox.
First message I saw was unread from some dude saying he had a great time a few nights ago, happening on just one of the nights she also seemed to be staying at her friend's house. Still giving her the benefit of the doubt, I read it, yep it involved sex and wanting to see her again. Now you may be asking yourself, "wtf, why are they doing this over email?" Well, this was before everyone had a cellphone, so people still did shady shit over emails, not texting each other all the time.
I was so fucking furious, felt like a fool for being lied to and for trusting her. So I clicked reply, said something along the lines of "I think you gave me herpes. you said you were clean, don't ever fucking talk to me again." few extra choice words and hit send. Deleted his email, went into the sent folder, deleted the email I sent, then went and put his email in the block settings. If I wasn't having a good time, nobody was.
Next day I talked to her, said something like "hey, I heard you were out the other night, you and some guy were getting and handsy with each other, you cheating on me?"..she told me she wasn't, so I dumped her right there. Even if she did come clean, I was gonna dump her anyways but her lying still just pissed me off more. Sure it was shitty for me to go into her email, but in my mind at the time, I rationalized that it was okay because she had nothing to hide. Current me wouldn't had done it and tried to find out she was cheating in another more mature adult way, but I would had still found a way to burn it all to the ground.
Top the story off, I talked to her a few years later after that. She was still mad at me for dumping her for "no reason", which means she never found out how I handled the situation.
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2015
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2013
This closeted gay dude said that he didn’t think I was hot so I told his whole family about his homogay ways. Nigga’s still at Jesus camp to this day.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
I sub-let a room of my old flat to a vague acquaintance who had fallen out with her own flatmates and needed somewhere to stay for a few weeks until she changed university. To cut a long story short she was a narcissistic catty bitch who made my life miserable for the two months she stayed and it was no wonder her old housemates had thrown her out.
Then she left not having paid a penny in rent.
Unfortunately for her, she had given her new uni my address for correspondence, and they sent her enrolment and student loan forms to my flat. I simply wrote "deceased" on the envelopes and returned them to sender. Apparently the resulting mess was so bad she lost her uni place, her student loan and her new flat and couldn't get any of them back for a year, so she went back to live with her parents and had to get a job as a waitress in Pizza Hut.
Swivel on it, bitch.
Then she left not having paid a penny in rent.
Unfortunately for her, she had given her new uni my address for correspondence, and they sent her enrolment and student loan forms to my flat. I simply wrote "deceased" on the envelopes and returned them to sender. Apparently the resulting mess was so bad she lost her uni place, her student loan and her new flat and couldn't get any of them back for a year, so she went back to live with her parents and had to get a job as a waitress in Pizza Hut.
Swivel on it, bitch.