- Joined
- Jun 3, 2014
We've all had to deal with it. You're on a bus, or a plane, or a train. You're minding your own business, probably playing around with your phone, when suddenly a huge warm fleshy blob which smells slightly of old cheese comes squeezing down the isle and oozes into the seat next to you.
Disgusted, you slide aside to give the blob more space, and end up cramming yourself into a six-inch area while Gargantua the Vast takes up both the seat they're in, and half of the seats on either side of them.
Many have suggested a solution to this problem. The obvious one is to not let fatties ride planes, but that's not always practical. Another solution has been suggested by making land whales buy several seats to accommodate their bulk.
I propose a different idea. Instead we should build extra large "fat only" seating. While at first glance, such an arrangement may seem like giving the lard butts what they want, but hear me out... the fat only section would quickly become a badge of shame.
It's basically the same as handicap seating, but much more shameful and gross. It would be in the worst parts of the buses, planes, and theaters. Comedians would mock it constantly, and fat people in planes and movie theaters would be restricted to certain, highly visible spaces, where people can look at them and judge them. Their friends and family would also have to make accommodations if they want to sit by their fat albatross, adding additional levels of shame upon the tubby loser.
They'd also be out of the hair of normal people, and would be effectively classified as abnormal in all areas of public society. We've been letting them feel "normal" for far too long. It's time to let them know they're freaks, incapable of associating with others in public.
So, should we make fat-only arrangements, or do you think there's too much room for shameless fatasses to abuse the idea?
Disgusted, you slide aside to give the blob more space, and end up cramming yourself into a six-inch area while Gargantua the Vast takes up both the seat they're in, and half of the seats on either side of them.
Many have suggested a solution to this problem. The obvious one is to not let fatties ride planes, but that's not always practical. Another solution has been suggested by making land whales buy several seats to accommodate their bulk.
I propose a different idea. Instead we should build extra large "fat only" seating. While at first glance, such an arrangement may seem like giving the lard butts what they want, but hear me out... the fat only section would quickly become a badge of shame.
It's basically the same as handicap seating, but much more shameful and gross. It would be in the worst parts of the buses, planes, and theaters. Comedians would mock it constantly, and fat people in planes and movie theaters would be restricted to certain, highly visible spaces, where people can look at them and judge them. Their friends and family would also have to make accommodations if they want to sit by their fat albatross, adding additional levels of shame upon the tubby loser.
They'd also be out of the hair of normal people, and would be effectively classified as abnormal in all areas of public society. We've been letting them feel "normal" for far too long. It's time to let them know they're freaks, incapable of associating with others in public.
So, should we make fat-only arrangements, or do you think there's too much room for shameless fatasses to abuse the idea?
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