Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[HiddenFist]

When I was in elementary school, there was this little kid who was really into collecting insects. He always carried a jar filled with various kinds of bugs he would capture while out in the field. I don't know how he did it, but one afternoon he managed to capture a tarantula hawk wasp. I didn't know its name at the time, but those things existed in my area and it was an enormous blue wasp with orange wings, so I don't know what else it could have been.

Anyway, we were all very impressed by his find, but then the dumbass teacher watching over us demanded that he let the thing go. Well, after spending several hours in a tiny jar, it was rightfully pissed off, so as soon as he opened the jar it immediately flew at him and stung him twice. You could hear his screams from across the field. Never fuck with Cazadores.

Sounds like the guy is a perfect fit for my biology teacher in high school who also collected insects and displayed them in class. Our final assignment in his class was capturing 20 different insects and he even let us go into the woods right next to the school three days in a row to do it. Which leads to my next story.

One of the guys in my class caught a shit ton of flies and kept holes in jar. He decided after the assignment was finish to open that jar into some annoying ghetto girl's backpack at the end of one of classes he had with her. She her backpack at home and the flies came out based on what she said and complained they ruined everything they got into. Apparently someone told on him what he did and he got suspended for a week and had to apologize to her.

 

[PT 940]

My high school US history teacher always smelled like tuna. Her planning period was first period so we suspected she always had breakfast during that time. I had her class second period and as soon as she let us in omg...the smell.

One time in her class one of my classmates asked if she lived through the Great Depression (which at her age it was very likely that she had.) He didn't ask to be rude, he just thought she might share some experiences of the time period with us. She told him to jump out a window. The classroom was on the second floor but he walked over and opened one of the windows and was about to jump out. She asked what he was doing and he said, "You told me to jump out the window" at which point she got mad and that he took her seriously.

Another thing people used to do was steal the remote to the TV and turn it on while she was teaching and she was always confused. It was a long time before she figured it out.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I can't remember which year it was, but my middle school English teacher had gotten skin cancer on his head (he was like in his 50s and was bald, so he always had on a hat) and it's why he came to school one day with a band-aid that everyone asked him about. So for about a week or so, there were a lot of students who wore a band-aid close to their hairlines in support of his recovery.

 

[Orange//Net]

Someone took apart a computer keyboard in high school, stole all the keys apart the ones which they put back on it and spelt "AUTISM".
We were all called into an "emergency" assembly, funnily enough they didn't care so much about the vandalism or the stolen keys but the "deeply offensive ableist language". They were never caught.

 

[Mao Hao Hao]

I remember one time in middle school someone had set off the fire alarms so everyone had to gather outside in the yard just in case there actually was a fire. The school had some mentally and physically disabled kids as well, and they must have had a class near mine as they were in the same part of the yard as my class. Well, one of the kids didn't like loud noises so was running in a panicked circle shouting and another (also disabled) kid saw this and decided to chase him whilst also barking like a dog. The teachers tried their best to calm them down, but it just became a wierd show for everyone until we got forced back inside.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Someone took apart a computer keyboard in high school, stole all the keys apart the ones which they put back on it and spelt "AUTISM".
We were all called into an "emergency" assembly, funnily enough they didn't care so much about the vandalism or the stolen keys but the "deeply offensive ableist language". They were never caught.

"deeply offensive ableist language"= Just what the condition is called, apparently.

Any doctor who has ever diagnosed an Autistic patient is Hitler.

 

[Scarboroughgirl]

at my high school there's a girl named Keila with Downs. she's very short and has a black bowlcut. as a baby she was adopted from Mexico.

anyway she's been a senior for four years and is 22 now. she;s very flirty with all the guys and thinks she's hot stuff. she claims to have had multiple boyfriends (20+), including ones in Mexico. she's had a senior page in the yearbook for a few years and last year her quote was about how she's Woody Allen's girlfriend

I've seen her flirt with every guy from seventh grade to married adult men. her mom does nothing to stop her because she;s a teacher's aid and acts like she runs the whole school

 

[Stock Image Photographer]

anyway she's been a senior for four years and is 22 now.

How is that legal?

 

[Doomfist]

Near the end of freshman year, my friend who sat behind me in pre-algebra got moved because were causing to much disruption. The class after she'd been moved, I turned around in my desk to speak to her, forgetting she wasn't there.

What was there, however, was this fat chonga bitch with hoop earrings that had her name in 'em.

So I turned around, muttered something along the lines of "Hey- oh my bad nvm", to which the response I got was her threatening to "split my shit" if I spoke to her again.

Me being the shit stirrer that I was at the time, made the gamble that she wouldn't.

Well, she did. She punched me right in the mouth.

At that point, I'm kinda lost on what to do. I'm embarrassed that she said that shit, and embarrassed I got punched, and frustrated by my own dumb code of not hitting women (at the time, violent hoes get the hands now).

I think the best my dumb teenager brain could come up with was "that's the best you got?" then spit a little blood on her desk, to which she responded by punching me again.

Quick tangent: You guys remember those school desks you can only enter on one side of, because there's an armrest built into it? We had those.

So after being punched a 2nd time, I stood up quietly, and dumped the desk over with her fat ass in it, opening side toward the ground so that the armrest trapped her bloated body between itself and the ground.

It wasn't funny at the time because I was absolutely furious, but hindsight looking at her stubby chubby legs kicking perpendicular to the ground while she screamed bloody murder is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Also, I got suspended for a week, nothing happened to her.

 

[Count groudon]

During our 8th grade end-of-the-year trip to a local theme park, my lovable but very overweight friend got stuck in his seat in the charter bus they got for us. The first 30 minutes of the trip consisted of the local fire department having to take the seats apart to get him out. It’s one of his favorite stories to tell now that he’s slimmed down quite a bit.

 

[Broseph]

How is that legal?

Most schools will keep the "slow in the mind" kids in school for a few years after they "graduated".

 

[Scarboroughgirl]

How is that legal?

this year is her last year and then she's going to live with her mom in our town the rest of her life.

 

[PT 522]

Nothing super interesting/worthy of a full story happened to me but I have an anecdote:

One of the janitors in my elementary school was the kids' favorite because he would pick up students by the ankles and dip them headfirst into trash cans. There was always a huge crowd of children eager to get this treatment. It was weird.

 

[AnOminous]

Nothing super interesting/worthy of a full story happened to me but I have an anecdote:

One of the janitors in my elementary school was the kids' favorite because he would pick up students by the ankles and dip them headfirst into trash cans.

Beats making them grab their ankles, I suppose.

 

[PT 940]

When I was in high school one of my closest friends went to a different high school and told us this gem:

First, a little background. Where I live they do standardized testing and it takes up like two weeks of the end of the year. You have to be totally quiet the whole day, even when you're finished with your test, so naturally everyone hated it. The teachers didn't seem to like it either. Students almost always were put into groups with people they didn't usually have classes with, and with teachers they didn't have, so all of this made it even more awkward and unnecessarily difficult. So, that being said...

My friend wound up (and very surprisingly, I might add) being in a testing groups with two of his closest friends, and they spent the morning before the test goofing off and laughing way too much/loudly for the annoyed teacher to deal with. Just before the test was set to begin (which they always had rigid starting and ending times) a giant roach crawls across the floor. It's so huge that the kids who notice it just stare, no attempt made to kill it. It goes all the way across the front of the room and into the other side of the wall. My friend and his buddies start talking about how it must have lived in the school for decades, cleverly avoiding detection and being dubbed the Roach King by the other roaches. They describe to each other about how it must have smaller roaches serving and and that it wore a crown and had a small, roach-sized chalice. Their laughter has gotten out of hand.

The irritated teacher walks in and reads the script for the beginning of the test, which includes info about when the test begins and ends and what time bathroom breaks will be. My friend and his friends are still giggling, whispering to each others about the lore of the roach king. The teacher stops several times to get them to stop. He tells them if he has to stop again that they will be sent to the office. They are quiet, but not for long.

The teachers asks if anyone has questions before they begin. One of the guys raised their hand and asks, "Has this test been approved by the roach king?" The teacher was not amused, sent him to the office, and he had to do his testing away from the other students.

 

[ForgedBlades]

Nothing super interesting/worthy of a full story happened to me but I have an anecdote:

One of the janitors in my elementary school was the kids' favorite because he would pick up students by the ankles and dip them headfirst into trash cans. There was always a huge crowd of children eager to get this treatment. It was weird.

The janitor at my elementary school was the most beloved guy in the building. Great dude. He would always wear wrestling shirts and talk wrestling with us at lunch. Height of the Monday Night Wars in the 90s. Good times.

 

[bigoogabaloogas]

He always carried a jar filled with various kinds of bugs he would capture

Oh shit.
That reminded me of the days when my friends and I would go out and capture spiders, placing them in empty matchboxes, and taking them out to fight with each other by using a stick. Those were fun times

 

[Doomfist]

The janitor at my elementary school was the most beloved guy in the building. Great dude. He would always wear wrestling shirts and talk wrestling with us at lunch. Height of the Monday Night Wars in the 90s. Good times.

I had a lunch lady just like this in 4thish-5thish grade. She was a huge black woman, and an even huger The Rock fan, and I was a Stone Cold fan so we always had fun talking shit.

 

[PT 522]

I just remembered but as a kid I thought I was funny, so one time on picture day I drew a moustache on my face with a sharpie right before leaving for the shoot. A teacher in the hall saw me and sent me to the principal's office. His response was "They sent you here for what? That's crazy. Get out."

 

[DonaldJTrump]

Most schools will keep the "slow in the mind" kids in school for a few years after they "graduated".

My downs cousin was in school until 26 iirc most special needs kids stay until 19 or 21.