The Game Oversimplification Thread - Take any game and intentionally make it sound boring

You have five dads and they are all dicks. Kill them.

You got shot by a cop. Kill him.

You get awakened at your funeral as a plan to kill off the people who thought they killed you who just so happen to be holding the funeral. Kill them.
 
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You have five dads and they are all dicks. Kill them.

You got shot by a cop. Kill him.

You get awakened at your funeral as a plan to kill off the people who thought they killed you who just so happen to be holding the funeral. Kill them.
Hitman: Codename 47, Contracts, and Blood Money.
 
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Big horde of mystical aliens ass rape Earth and the only hope is a single soldier and a time machine in egypt.
 
You go and kill the resident darkness dude and then your friend says that he put fake memories into your head to fuck with you for no reason. Then you're kicked out of the world.
 
You go and kill the resident darkness dude and then your friend says that he put fake memories into your head to fuck with you for no reason. Then you're kicked out of the world.

Klonoa: Door to Phantomile.

(:_(
 
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You hunt a serial killer via Google and defeat him in a game of Pong.
 
Man tries to save his country by recruiting an invincible man and Brazilian ninja.
 
Stuck in some dune coon city with some zombies, you jump around.
 
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