Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Aaway]

its not about whether or not the bible permits tattoos. who the fuck cares

its about jack being a classic example of some of the worst kinds of people. those who think they can do/say anything and get away with it because "its in the bible" or because they go to church every sunday

 

[Cedric_Eff]

This nigga eats Vietnamese Pho (which he writes with a french accent over the o) from a Thai restaurant. The reason a Thai restaurant serves Pho is because Americans think all Asians are the same.
I don't have problems with making things differently from how they are in the countries they originate from, that's just cooking, but what he's making is not Pho. What makes Pho are the complex amounts of spices (coriander, star anise, cinnamon, etc) in the long simmered beef stock, and he's just using boxed chicken broth.
Says Hoisin sauce is for color and a little sweetness. Nope.
He's also using Pad Thai noodles instead of Pho noodles. This may not seem like a big difference but it's like using penne instead of spaghetti.
He proceeds to pig-splain how to eat tail-on shrimp. Very strange. Then starts coughing after he takes a sip of the chicken broth, that'll sell people on the recipe.
Also I swear he's made pho before.

There are many ways to make "Lazy Man's Pho", you can buy boullion-like soup bases in packets, in jars, hell they'll even sell you precanned Pho broth, but it requires Asian grocery stores that aren't welcome in the bible belt.

Oof, we all know Lazy Man’s Pho is Agent Orange. That’s why he was coughing.

 

[FemalePresident]

Regardless, fuck you Jack tattoos are banned by the Bible. Not that you care, given you're an asshole who thinks just believing saves you.

Well, you know Jack

 

[Adamska]

Well, you know Jack

View attachment 650751

And that's why God's blessed him with two strokes... well that and his decision to eat himself in butter mass.

 

[Kelly Bundy]

its not about whether or not the bible permits tattoos. who the fuck cares

its about jack being a classic example of some of the worst kinds of people. those who think they can do/say anything and get away with it because "its in the bible" or because they go to church every sunday

Does the bible specifically say ''don't choke your son''? No, it's fine then.

 

[AnOminous]

Does the bible specifically say ''don't choke your son''? No, it's fine then.

Jackoff can't even read the folded piece of paper that comes with some seen on TV gadget, not even the one fold of it that has English on it. You think he reads the Bible?

 

[Kelly Bundy]

Jackoff can't even read the folded piece of paper that comes with some seen on TV gadget, not even the one fold of it that has English on it. You think he reads the Bible?

You're right. His search history must be filled with ''what does the bible say about _?'' and gay porn. But with typos, thanks to stroke #2.

 

[Gladatha]

Jack still doesn't understand how keto works... but he does lift his arm for us.

When he started the video to have his little talk, I was hoping he would address the comments situations, but naturally, he didn't cos he's a coward.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

Watching a dude risk killing himself because he's too stupid to understand food groups is not delivering the schadenfreude that I had hoped. Jack is like a roach, he cannot be killed no matter how idiotically he behaves.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

No star anise.

Get it together, Jack

 

[JackDavis]

I love when he speaks, he says such dumb things. Here's some choice quotes.

"Everything is going great. My healing is going great."
"By the grace of God, it's all going to come back and I'll be back to normal."
"My eating habits off camera are 'no bread' 'no pasta' 'no potatoes' 'no rice', very ketogenic type eating."
"But on the air, on the show, I may take a bite of bread, a bite of a piece of cake, but then I give the food away."
Yeah sure Jack, you're looking as fat as ever.

 

[Long Sun]

Look you can't cheat on Keto.. that one bite can ruin Keto and Jack does it every week but what ever makes you feel better Jack

 

[Adamska]

Jack still doesn't understand how keto works... but he does lift his arm for us.

When he started the video to have his little talk, I was hoping he would address the comments situations, but naturally, he didn't cos he's a coward.

A short runthrough of this garbagefire.

1. Jack lies to you about how good his arm is; he struggles to lift it and it's clear he just expects to get full mobility without doing anything rather than go through the work for it.
2. Fat Jack then shifts into another lie about his own eating habits, pretending that he's still on the keto diet.
2b. He's such a sensitive girl of a man he wastes an 1/8th of the runtime crying about how us mean critics are wrong and he doesn't just shovel everything down his throat.
3. He again brings up the lie about himself giving the food with carbs away; but we know he just eats it off camera.
4. He finally talks about the microwavable dollar store fad sandwich he's going to eat today. This should be funny.
5. Jack is willfully ignorant on items that have carbs that allows him to keep the pointless delusion that he's dieting. 9th Commandment you fucking liar.
6. The avatar calls Jack a faggot for wasting half the video on crying before actually microwaving college food.
7. And the eggwiches have carbs. Caramelized onions and peppers give you that, and those two combined force you out of ketosis. GG Jack.
8. Jack passive aggressively insults his audience's intelligence due to his bruised and malignant ego. He will definitely start blaming them and us when he dies and the elevator goes down.
9. And they look awful; not shocking because microwaved egg is horrible, but this is more than usual.
10. Fatty just eats them. I should note he's hiding his cock-licking action this time, which may indicate he reads here and is angry we're calling him gay.
10b. If you're reading this Jack, then stop being a cunt to the menials; that's just plain unchristian.
11. Jack likes the processed nuked egg blob due to being lazy. He likes the one with even more unhealthy shit on it than the other one with the (ew) spinach. The fat jokes just write themselves.
12. Jack literally just made this video to prove he just microwaves food when not buying out and because he's still assblasted he's a greedy and hateful fraud who doesn't diet.
12b. Also a cowardly baby, no comments for you audience. Now feed Jack's ego; it's beating the hunger ghosts this round.

 

[AnOminous]

No star anise.

Get it together, Jack

If you're going to cheese it, why not just get five spice blend? It's in any grocery store.

 

[captkrisma]

Also I swear he's made pho before.

Yeah, he made pho about 7 years ago. It's strange because he includes some of the spices in this one, but he's missing the cardamom and coriander.

Also, he brings the broth to a boil and then simmers the broth for an hour, which any Vietnamese will tell you isn't good for the broth (boiling pretty much suspends impurities while simmering pushes it to the top, making it easy to skim out) and isn't nearly long enough to make pho broth (most Vietnamese I've asked say 6-10 hours is appropriate).

Jack teaches you how to make dirty and bland tasting pho:

 

[JackDavis]

Yeah, he made pho about 7 years ago.

It's not that hard finding pho noodles. He's using Thai Kitchen brand Stir-Fry Rice Noodles.

DAMNIT I MISS THIS. I miss him slapping down his fist onto food to cut it. "As thin as you can" he says, then proceeds to cut half inch slices. This was pre-stroke 2, might even be pre-stroke 1.

Man his videos used to be so much better, the stroke ruined him

 

[Aaway]

lols he's still on that "i give what i don't eat away" bullshit

the fact that he feels the need to constantly bring that up means either A. its not true or B. he reads this thread since this is the only place he can find people talking shit on him after he turned his comments off

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

A short runthrough of this garbagefire.

1. Jack lies to you about how good his arm is; he struggles to lift it and it's clear he just expects to get full mobility without doing anything rather than go through the work for it.
2. Fat Jack then shifts into another lie about his own eating habits, pretending that he's still on the keto diet.
2b. He's such a sensitive girl of a man he wastes an 1/8th of the runtime crying about how us mean critics are wrong and he doesn't just shovel everything down his throat.
3. He again brings up the lie about himself giving the food with carbs away; but we know he just eats it off camera.
4. He finally talks about the microwavable dollar store fad sandwich he's going to eat today. This should be funny.
5. Jack is willfully ignorant on items that have carbs that allows him to keep the pointless delusion that he's dieting. 9th Commandment you fucking liar.
6. The avatar calls Jack a faggot for wasting half the video on crying before actually microwaving college food.
7. And the eggwiches have carbs. Caramelized onions and peppers give you that, and those two combined force you out of ketosis. GG Jack.
8. Jack passive aggressively insults his audience's intelligence due to his bruised and malignant ego. He will definitely start blaming them and us when he dies and the elevator goes down.
9. And they look awful; not shocking because microwaved egg is horrible, but this is more than usual.
10. Fatty just eats them. I should note he's hiding his cock-licking action this time, which may indicate he reads here and is angry we're calling him gay.
10b. If you're reading this Jack, then stop being a cunt to the menials; that's just plain unchristian.
11. Jack likes the processed nuked egg blob due to being lazy. He likes the one with even more unhealthy shit on it than the other one with the (ew) spinach. The fat jokes just write themselves.
12. Jack literally just made this video to prove he just microwaves food when not buying out and because he's still assblasted he's a greedy and hateful fraud who doesn't diet.
12b. Also a cowardly baby, no comments for you audience. Now feed Jack's ego; it's beating the hunger ghosts this round.

I didn't realize keto was that strict. While it is plausible that a medical professional recommended the diet to Jack, I'm more inclined to believe that he fixates on keto because it gives him a plausible excuse (at least if you don't bother to learn how keto works, which most people don't) to shovel untold tubs of grease and pork rinds and god knows what else into his orifices, and no one is allowed to call that out because KETO FRIENDLY [tongue waggle].

Also Jack, if you are reading this, you are fat and I would not have sex with you.

 

[captkrisma]

View attachment 652093
It's not that hard finding pho noodles. He's using Thai Kitchen brand Stir-Fry Rice Noodles.
View attachment 652094
DAMNIT I MISS THIS. I miss him slapping down his fist onto food to cut it. "As thin as you can" he says, then proceeds to cut half inch slices. This was pre-stroke 2, might even be pre-stroke 1.

Man his videos used to be so much better, the stroke ruined him

There were some other cardinal sins from that video. First was the use of beef broth. While this does cut down on impurities un the soup, it's also in no way how to make pho. You use beef bones and water.

Second was the slices of meat. Not only does Jack slice the meat way too thick, he also places it under the noodles, so the meat ends up being raw. This IS Jack, however, so...par for the course?

Last is the inclusion of way too much hoisin sauce. This turns the pho into a sugary mess.

 

[Vorhtbame]

the tattoo looks like a cross between jesus and the cowardly lion from the wizard of oz

Late to this party, but...

I suspect it's one of two things. It's a reference either to Chronicles of Narnia and that's Aslan on the right, or to Christ as "the Lion of the Tribe of Judah" (whence Aslan, in turn, being a lion).