Megathread Phil buying edgy shit megathread - Your tax dollars at work

[Positron]

This is a thread where we document the shit Phil buys to bolster his shriveled masculinity: knives, air-softs, boots, balaclava, pepper spray, edgy T-shirts, insignia, etc. Given Phil is such a consumer whore and has zero impulse control, we should have started this thread long ago.

Feb 6 2019

Feb 5 2019 (posted on the Random Update threads already)

 

[CatParty]

Bro, it’s not the gun making you look fat

 

[RI 360]

He could lose some weight if that gun put some holes into him.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

I'm surprised how clean that carpet is

 

[Coldgrip]

Such a good little capitalist whore.

 

[drtoboggan]

Cute. Spud can't even spell "wear" right. Further confirming he was special needs as a child.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

'Omg you guize, look at my new clothing haul!!!1!'

Consumerist whore to the bitter end. Most of the shallow idiots that do this kind of thing grow out of it by the age of 21 (unless you're Amberlynn), but not Phil. Still blissfully unaware of how he looks, showing off his latest purchases of the latest 'cool alternative' fashions.

Little hint for you, Phil. Politics isn't a clothing choice.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

If he really wanted to intimidate impress us he should buy a mil-spec riot/breach shield from some white cis gender male survival website.

 

[MG 620]

Money well spent. That'll show the capitalist pigs!

 

[Rupin]

What does this Xochi character look like?

 

[MG 620]

What does this Xochi character look like?

Isn't the headmate Jewish? So it's probably a jerusalem cricket, a potato bug.

Quote from Wikipedia While Jerusalem crickets are not venomous, they can emit a foul smell."

Sounds about right.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

What does this Xochi character look like?

Imagine phil with horrible painted on eyebrows and goth lipstick. I think there is a pic of him all dolled up on here if you go back far enough.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Isn't the headmate Jewish? So it's probably a jerusalem cricket, a potato bug.

Quote from Wikipedia While Jerusalem crickets are not venomous, they can emit a foul smell."

Sounds about right.

Phil once went to a fancy dress party as her. Basically just him with badly applied goffik face paint. So she looks like a fat, bald, buck-toothed, derpy-eyed pigtato.

 

[Positron]

What does this Xochi character look like?

"Xochi" is one of Phil's at least 13 headmates. This is Phil as "Xochi":

Look also at the start of the video. When cosplaying as Xochi, he paints his pig lips, draw chloa eyebrows, and maybe an inverted cross on his forehead. He also adopts the campy sassy mannerism of an aging mama-san.

https://my.mixtape.moe/mzafer.mp4

There are one or two video that he addresses the farms as Xochi but I guess these have gone down with Vidme.

 

[Le Pew]

I wish we could get some video of him wearing those ridiculous roller skates waving that knife around. Some roller derby potato death match might at least be a little entertaining, Philthy.

 

[Dentontx]

Phil had to leave the Bay Area because his Xochi drag came with a real risk of having his ass kicked on the regular by real cholas he'd meet on the Muni. Moving to lillywhite PDX at least lowers the probability of that kind of public humiliation.

What he has to worry about now is running into III%ers in the forest. I don't think your little Gerber neck knife and your $1.98 kiddie swim goggles are going to save you if that happens, Phil. It'll be Cascadian Deliverance for sure and you're slotted for the Ned Beatty role. Squeal like a pig, boy.

 

[The Dude]

There's something just terribly sad and pathetic about a grown-ass man talking about his imaginary friend buying him things. Most kids give up their imaginary playmates by the time they enter elementary school and start making real friends. I'm sure it's no coincidence that Phil still has imaginary friends because he has no real friends. Doesn't make it any less pathetic. Such a super scary super soldier!

This is one of those things where it's difficult to tell if Phil realizes that people know he's full of shit and only saying his invisible friend bought him worthless crap to avoid being called out for wasting his money when he's constantly begging to be bailed out when its time to pay rent/buy groceries/pay bills. On one hand, it's so blatantly clear that Phil is just buying this edgy shit himself and saying it's Xochi to avoid getting called out. On the other hand, Phil is fucking stupid, yet thinks he's the smartest motherfucker in the room, so he thinks other people will fall for this ridiculous bullshit because it's something Phil himself would fall for.

And Phil yet again acknowledged that he's reading what we are saying here to avoid making an ass of himself, this time in regards to wearing shit with skulls on them. Several members have been bringing up the fact that skulls are often associated with far-Right ideology, and now Phil makes a post about how he's only wearing skulls it they're accompanied by some anti-fascist slogan.

You're not fooling anyone, Phil. No one believes that your imaginary playmate is buying you clothes. You're just not worth the energy and drama of calling you out for wasting your tard welfare. And we can tell that you are reading here and using what we post to avoid alienating your Antifa Senpais with your edgy preteen skull garb. And you didn't even say thank you.

 

[GayestFurryTrash]

"Xochi" is one of Phil's at least 13 headmates. This is Phil as "Xochi":
View attachment 663512

I still think that’s my favorite picture of him just because of how his chin-neck fat looks like it’s trying to eat that hot topic choker before it strangles him.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

What does this Xochi character look like?

Fat chola junkie who gets into Wal-Mart fights is my headcanon

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

It's the smug expression that gets me. Like he's so fucking pleased with himself, his makeup and his pose, thinking he looks the most badass sexy latinx that ever latinxed...when the reality is a fat gelatinous balding blob, with wispy hair bits clinging on for dear life, the eyebrows scrawled in sharpie pen by a three-year-old kid, lipstick likewise, and a goitre so fucking massive it entirely covers a spiked leather collar. He looks like a Halloween joke, the re.tard dressed up by local kids for a cruel laugh. Yet he's deadly serious, sitting there with his smug smile and believing he looks amazing.

This photo, the bondage walrus and the video of him trying to look tough smoking and choking on it - peak Phil. We should have a 'best hits' thread or something. Just so he can never forget what an idiot he's always looked, when he's pretending to be Mr Antifa superhard Supersoldier