r/polyamory

[Crunchy Leaf]

It's not just exhibitionism, it's also about sticking it to the normies. Same with BDSM weirdos who bring that up in public.

 

[Solzhenitsyn]

100% guaranteed this did not happen. Hits too many stereotypes: dumb prudish conservatives, hate towards millennials, OP is so amazing at his job that the restaurant fell apart while he was away for three days (but it's all good because he turned it around personally, him personally) and will crash and burn after he quit, acts like quitting a job as a restaurant manager is a heroic act on par with hiding Jews in his basement, and of course both his girlfriends are super proud of him. All it needs is Albert Einstein clapping in a corner to complete the set.

 

[scathefire]

It's not just exhibitionism, it's also about sticking it to the normies. Same with BDSM weirdos who bring that up in public.

Can we oppress these people? I am 110% on board with oppressing these people.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

Further piece of info about OP: he's a former heroin addict.

He also went to Port Neches-Groves High School (class of 2006), lives in the San Antonio area, and looks like this: https://imgur.com/gallery/5zE1K

At least according to his posts.

 

[Kosher Dill]

100% guaranteed this did not happen.

Actually, I do believe the story, minus all the Big Hero Speeches he claims to have given. What it boils down to is that he had been revolting customers and annoying his boss with his poly antics for a while, but they kinda-sorta agree to keep it professional.
Then he picked a needless fight and pulled an attitude on his boss over petty nonsense, and the boss just had had enough. And then our OP said "You can't fire me, I quit" because it makes him feel like a badass.
Notice that even in his retelling, he wasn't actually fired for the poly bullshit.

 

[TerribleIdeas™]

I didn't use it in the search. However, "serial monogamy" is something of a term of contempt, mostly used of people who keep breaking up committed relationship after committed relationship because "bored now" or they fell in love with someone else or any sort of excuse that sounds really noble and mature until you're the one hearing it; they just never technically cheated so they're not a slut and totally monogamous (and that applies to both men and women).

If someone is saying "bored now" or goes through a constant string of short-term, intense relationships, that sounds like undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, to me. That said, I'm not a psychiatric or psychological specialist, so many grains of salt to be had.

Fun post from yesterday - restaurant owner tells guy that customers know he's engaged and it makes them uncomfortable when he brings other girlfriends to work. Owner admits it's the reason he hasn't been promoted to general manager, polybro quits.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/apajg8/youre_not_being_promoted_because_you_are/

And the whole restaurant clapped. That restaurants' name? Albert Gandhi.

 

[Solzhenitsyn]

Further piece of info about OP: he's a former heroin addict.

He also went to Port Neches-Groves High School (class of 2006), lives in the San Antonio area, and looks like this: https://imgur.com/gallery/5zE1K

At least according to his posts.

Writer, musician, singer, magician and comedian? Friend to all women? And a genius restaurant manager?
Is there anything this hero can't do? (Aside from hold down a real job)

 

[Vorhtbame]

Writer, musician, singer, magician and comedian? Friend to all women? And a genius restaurant manager?
Is there anything this hero can't do? (Aside from hold down a real job)

He can't tell the truth.

 

[Hubcapdiamondstarhalo]

Fun post from yesterday - restaurant owner tells guy that customers know he's engaged and it makes them uncomfortable when he brings other girlfriends to work. Owner admits it's the reason he hasn't been promoted to general manager, polybro quits.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/apajg8/youre_not_being_promoted_because_you_are/

He forgot to mention how all of the millennials in the restuarant stood up and clapped

 

[TerribleIdeas™]

He forgot to mention how all of the millennials in the restuarant stood up and clapped

Glad I ain't the only dumbfuck that was disappointed that everyone wasn't clapping like seals on E.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Fun post from yesterday - restaurant owner tells guy that customers know he's engaged and it makes them uncomfortable when he brings other girlfriends to work. Owner admits it's the reason he hasn't been promoted to general manager, polybro quits.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/apajg8/youre_not_being_promoted_because_you_are/

I'm in love with this post because he's so full of shit.

Let's start with the premise "Manager" and compare it some of the info we already have from the post.

small high-end pizzeria in a major city in Texas

This restaurant absolutely depends on me. I completely manage the front-of-house and work an average of 60 hours per week

Just Friday, the restaurant owner and I sat down to discuss the poor operations of the restaurant in my 3 day absence (unfortunately due to a funeral for a family suicide). Needless to say, the place was pure chaos when I was gone. Terrible service, long kitchen wait times, and bad online reviews. We agreed that we were understaffed and set a plan to hire lots more people

“And the one you asked to work hostess last weekend?”

I set down my uniform and walked out

my uniform

So here is the real meat and potatoes of what the story likely really is. He claims that the restaurant's success hinges on him solely but he appears to be incredibly replaceable. He cites that for a few days when he wasn't there that the place fell apart but as anyone with management experience knows that's actually the worst thing you could say about the impact you have on your job and may as well have been a resignation letter.

- If your team is already "understaffed" and you already needed "lots more people" then obviously losing more people for 3 days is going to be more impactful regardless of who that person is. If you are in fact a "manager" and cannot after two years set and maintain an accurate projection of how many people you need in your roster, you aren't really a "manager".

- If your team is so untrained (besides being understaffed) after all of those years that "pure chaos" is what happens when you aren't there for three days, that's your fault for not training them and reflects badly on you and not them.

- If your regular schedule is "60 hours a week" you are either making tons of cash working in a very high end restaurant or you're doing a remarkably piss poor job. I'm going to feel confident that he isn't working in a very high end restaurant (because of his demonstrable lack of skills) so it means that he just isn't doing a good job.

- If your solution to the understaffing is to bring in your other side chicks and not realizing how that would be uncomfortable and potentially flammable for the restaurant, yourself, or the patrons then you are incapable of putting the business' needs before your own.

- If you for some reason can't analyze any of this, it means you're incapable of self reflection and growth which is another huge red mark against you as a "manager".
- On top of that actual managers (not just restaurant managers) don't wear a fucking uniform for fuck's sake. He's probably just a "shift lead" with the word "manage" in his title. Even in a fucking Red Robin the managers don't wear the god damn uniform and I don't think anyone has ever called that a "high end" restaurant.

This guy clearly has been doing a mediocre-to-shitty job and on no planet was ever in contention for a "General Manager" position and if he really thinks his "alternative" lifestyle is the only reason he is deluding himself. I wouldn't want him as a GM based on how he describes his job in his own words, I frankly wouldn't want him in any leadership capacity, including the one he may already be in.

EDIT - Bonus from the comments, from our intrepid hero.

The thing is, in real life I’m an asshole I don’t shy away from confrontation. It’s one of the things that makes me a good manager.

Being an asshole who seeks out confrontations is literally the opposite of what a manager is supposed to be.

the demand placed on me by the needs of the business made it impossible to have any personal life at all. My home life, my family, my relationships, my social life, my health, and my sanity all suffered greatly because my everyday was devoted to the needs of the business. The owners abused my employment. Over the years, I guess you could say I chose to integrate my personal life into my business, but I feel like I didn’t have a choice.

You didn't need to do this, 60 hours a week isn't even that much, your "fiancee" works there and your girlfriend is (allegedly) a fucking doctor so how much time could she possibly have? Everything I read makes me like this guy less and less.

 

[Amber the Hedgehog]

So here is the real meat and potatoes of what the story likely really is. He claims that the restaurant's success hinges on him solely but he appears to be incredibly replaceable. He cites that for a few days when he wasn't there that the place fell apart but as anyone with management experience knows that's actually the worst thing you could say about the impact you have on your job and may as well have been a resignation letter.

Absolutely, I have been on factory summer jobs that I didn’t see my immediate boss much outside of first day and last day. He was seeing that the projects were going accordingly and solving unexpected problems. Point of hiring good people is that you don’t have look after what they are doing since they are able to do their jobs. Seeing my boss was usually because I or somebody else had go and help to fix a problem or he was dropping off some missing tools (main reason I had to contact him). If somebody needed to be looked after beyond first day or two then they were not going to be called for an other job again. One of my bosses could easily take a day off when his wife gave birth middle of the steel factory oven cleaning/maintenance project (his actual three weeks paternity break was scheduled afterwards). That’s how you know he was good.

 

[Vorhtbame]

I'm in love with this post because he's so full of shit.

That was a good breakdown there. Have a Winner rating!

Now that you mention the obvious inflation of his value, I'm starting to get a sense that this guy may be in the scary part of Cluster B. The idea that the entire business rests on his shoulders and he's quite happy to devote most of his waking hours to his job (over his various relationships) gives off strong NPD vibes. The self-righteousness is just more of that.

The person I feel sorry for in this story is his boss.

 

[Ctrl+Alt+Rt]

It's not just exhibitionism, it's also about sticking it to the normies. Same with BDSM weirdos who bring that up in public.

They LOVE flaunting it educating the public.

Spoiler

Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. That look of confusion wasn't a normie trying to wrap her mind around the incomprehensibly unique sex life you have – people know what a slut is – it was her trying to figure out what the hell she's supposed to say to that unwanted revelation and trying to understand why you overshared to a coworker about the rush-hour traffic in your gf's vagina, absolutely clogged and backed up end-to-end with dicks.

Here's a gem from the comments:

Spoiler

wahwahwah I'm a systemically oppressed minority! I hate shoving it in people's faces in public and then feeling like I'm on display!

By the way, have you all been posting their polycule photos here? I don't want to be lttp.

 

[SourDiesel]

wahwahwah I'm a systemically oppressed minority! I hate shoving it in people's faces in public and then feeling like I'm on display!

I've been pondering why they keep oversharing like anyone wants to know and tbh I think this is a good chunk of it, actually. They think they're an oppressed minority or something. Like, gay people come out so that later on others don't act all shocked when they find out their partners are the same sex. I legitimately think they think they need to "come out" for the same reason. They come out and then expect others to just act like this is all normal when they invite 10 partners to family dinner. Bonus round: they get to cry oppression when anyone correctly identifies them as crazy.

 

[Vorhtbame]

"I don't like dealing with creeps who think poly means I'll literally fuck anyone (including them)."

LIGHTNING ROUND!

• "I'm not allowed to anymore since the eighth time I was designated Patient Zero by the CDC."
  
• "And creep means 'someone I'd literally fuck if we shared an interest in breathing in and out'."
• "And I'm tired of parents using that definition when they ask the playground supervisors to run me off!"

And finally...

• Based on the pictures I've seen of poly types, poly means that your partner(s) will literally fuck anything.

 

[Ctrl+Alt+Rt]

Spoiler: Metamour Wants Me Dead

It's the typical unholy trinity of polyamorous marriage, nonbinary gender identity, and severe psychotic mental illness. I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear it's all ended in promises of double homicide, maybe even murder-suicide. Hey maybe they should try it, could be a fun kinky group activity for their triad!

It really amazes me that this guy genuinely hasn't a clue what to do when his gf's husband wants to murder him. Like he's really hanging on to the possibility that he could work through this and keep fucking her.

 

[tamago]

Writer, musician, singer, magician and comedian? Friend to all women? And a genius restaurant manager?
Is there anything this hero can't do? (Aside from hold down a real job)

It seems uncommon for these "poly people" to be successful in their chosen careers, or to even have a job in general. From what the majority of these posts portray, it seems like their whole life is about fucking, which could be accurate to their lives or they just don't mention having jobs in anything they post about. It just seems like in all of these posts where people talk about their poly relationship drama, nobody mentions anything job related, or anything related to financial issues they may be facing. Nobody says anything like "this is making it hard for me to do my job" or "I am worried about my finances now that this is happening".

So I'm genuinely curious - has anyone noticed a pattern with those on r/polyamory in terms of their financial/ career success? Are these people all on the level of McDonald's workers, or am I wrong and they're all disciplined in all areas other than fucking?

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

It seems uncommon for these "poly people" to be successful in their chosen careers, or to even have a job in general. From what the majority of these posts portray, it seems like their whole life is about fucking, which could be accurate to their lives or they just don't mention having jobs in anything they post about. It just seems like in all of these posts where people talk about their poly relationship drama, nobody mentions anything job related, or anything related to financial issues they may be facing. Nobody says anything like "this is making it hard for me to do my job" or "I am worried about my finances now that this is happening".

So I'm genuinely curious - has anyone noticed a pattern with those on r/polyamory in terms of their financial/ career success? Are these people all on the level of McDonald's workers, or am I wrong and they're all disciplined in all areas other than fucking?

Some of them are computer weirdos. Nerverts.

[Richard Stallman] says he has never had a monogamous sexual relationship, and he's also observed that programmers tend to favor polyamorous or non-monogamous relationships more than people in other jobs... he recognizes that the unconventional choices he has made as a software engineer are analogous to the choices he's made in his romantic life as well. "I believe in love, but not monogamy," he says plainly.

 

[scathefire]

They think they're an oppressed minority or something. Like, gay people come out so that later on others don't act all shocked when they find out their partners are the same sex. I legitimately think they think they need to "come out" for the same reason. They come out and then expect others to just act like this is all normal when they invite 10 partners to family dinner.

It kind of legitimately offends me how lightly and loosely they treat the concept of “coming out”. It’s often something you wouldn’t want to deal with unless it’s absolutely necessary.

It’s such a horrifically awkward and nerve-wracking thing to have to do over and over again with different people. I hate to see the term applied where it doesn’t belong for the purpose of self-gratification.