Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Godzilla@1989]

Pokémon sperging.

“But if the Electoral College is won by my side in 2020 then we must keep it!”

Rotten Tomatoes sperging.

 

[MirrorNoir]

You're right and also what Blobby misses is Thunderbolts wasn't Suicide Squad and it was a once in a lifetime type book and story for Marvel it can't be replicated in print or on film. Why? Heroes Reborn was pretty bad but it had 3 good out comes the X-Men being blamed for the heroes "deaths" and the public and government then having literal Zero Tolerance for them. Two Heroes Return and revamping of Avengers and FF books which was needed and last Thunderbolts. Thunderbolts wasn't like Suicide Squad it wasn't villains forced to be good it was villains conning a hero starved world filling a void and the public eating it up and in return the villains coming to enjoy their fame and some of them legitimately turning their backs on being criminals because they like being famous heroes more it's a story about the seduction of fame. It can't happen in the books again because the heroes aren't going to "die" again in that volume for that long. It can't happen on screen because of the time restraints of film it can not be developed as it would need to be and just end up a Suicide Squad rip-off. But leave it to Bob to miss the point yet the dumb basement dwelling fat fuck will do video after video trashing Zack Snyder for not understanding comic characters.

I'd note that you COULD do the basic premise of Thunderbolts, if it was done as a super-hero send-up of the old cliché of bad guys hiding out in a town (small and semi-isolated from the rest of the world) being terrorized by even worse bad guys. The villain protagonists befriend the locals (including a good hearted young boy or girl, in this case Jolt or Speedball) and since the locals are semi-isolated from everyone else, they don't know the new arrivals evil costumed alter egos. The villain protagonists end up having to pass themselves off as heroes when the kid character finds their costumes, then get roped into driving out the even worse bad guys. But in the process, their own secret villainous past comes out but since they saved the town (and have realized that they would rather be good guys/use this moment to renounce their evil ways once and for all), they are either allowed to stay in town or end up having the town help them flee when the cops come into town to arrest them.

You could make it a period piece/Thunderbolts contemporary to Hank Pym/Wasp in the 90s (which would let them skirt the way everything has chance society-wise towards the Thunderbolt plot not working in the age of widespread internet, social media, facial recognition software, etc).

Think a super-hero version of Three Amigos or Happy, Texas.

 

[Brother Wind]

Fun fact, the SJWs outright INTENDED to overwrite the OG BOAN with the Nat Turner bio film of the same name (the director explicitly stated that he chose to name the film BOAN to ensure that people only think of his film when the name is discussed going forward).

So fun fact, I was away on business, so I completely missed this movie coming out. Came home to my Midwest town to see it in our marquee theater. Made some phone calls to find out why we had just gone full racist.

 

[Flexo]

Oh boy his takes on Captain Marvel are going to be a spectacle of mental gymnastics.

Can we PLEASE just get a new poll already, @neural and have folks vote on this rather than the endless speculation?

his alleged victim took her own life out of despair that he was acquitted.

Wait... what? Are you serious?

I mean... damn. If CBF had REALLY wanted to sell her story, that would have done it.

It can't happen in the books again because the heroes aren't going to "die" again in that volume for that long. It can't happen on screen because of the time restraints of film it can not be developed as it would need to be and just end up a Suicide Squad rip-off.

Actually, I think there was a window for this - right. now. You just had Avengers: Infinity War - we SAW a bunch of heroes die, do a Thunderbolts movie instead of Ant-man 2 or Captain Marvel. Have the villains picking up the slack and bam perfect Thunderbolts movie. You could even do a line like "Hey, I may be an evil bastard, but I'm an EARTHLING first and foremost dammit, and I ain't lettin' some purple bastard come in and mess with my territory!"

“But if the Electoral College is won by my side in 2020 then we must keep it!”

No it won't, Bob you absolute dumbass.

California ALONE has 55 electoral votes. The smallest possible electoral votes a state can have is a 3 minimum (montana, etc). That means it takes over 18 of the smallest states to outvote California. 18 out of 50. Nearly half. The NEXT highest state is 38 (texas) then 29 (new york and florida).

You literally just want the USA's politics to be determined by the state equivalent of the 1%.

Seriously Bob, get fucking bent with this "count as more" shit.

#SplitCalifornia

 

[RockVolnutt]

No it won't, Bob you absolute dumbass.

California ALONE has 55 electoral votes. The smallest possible electoral votes a state can have is a 3 minimum (montana, etc). That means it takes over 18 of the smallest states to outvote California. 18 out of 50. Nearly half. The NEXT highest state is 38 (texas) then 29 (new york and florida).

You literally just want the USA's politics to be determined by the state equivalent of the 1%.

Seriously Bob, get fucking bent with this "count as more" shit.

#SplitCalifornia

He just wants it because he believes it will make the Dems win forever and his superior future will totally happen. It's ironic since most of his opinions center around "the common man" being "submental", remember him using that phrase?, and yet he's shilling for a system that would lead to tyranny of the majority. The contradiction here is lost on him.

 

[Done]

Can we PLEASE just get a new poll already, @neural and have folks vote on this rather than the endless speculation?

Hit me up with your suggestions via PM and I will put them in verbatim. (I legit don't know what they would be, I stopped reading the thread a long-ass time ago)

Also I have to tell you that the speculation will continue, poll or not, until whatever movie it is gets released. Mainly because people can't stop telegraphing Bob content at all!

They have to openly salivate over his potential chimp-outs "oooh I can't wait for it, he will soooo chimp out over his hated movie succeeding, mwahahahaha!", well Bob may be an autist, but he's not completely stupid, he keeps up with his thread pretty religiously, and "I will privately chimp out about Venom to my brother Chris" is a fucking easy thing to get done, that way he gets the release and denies us the content.

We're essentially becoming his fairy godmothers, showing him his faults months in advance so he can avoid them, and the thread's been ruined because of it.

I am willing to bet that in the interval of time I didn't read here, he didn't do a single thing that is worth updating the OP for.

EDIT: Adding current poll results here for archival:

 

[Mr._Blonde]

You're right and also what Blobby misses is Thunderbolts wasn't Suicide Squad and it was a once in a lifetime type book and story for Marvel it can't be replicated in print or on film. Why? Heroes Reborn was pretty bad but it had 3 good out comes the X-Men being blamed for the heroes "deaths" and the public and government then having literal Zero Tolerance for them. Two Heroes Return and revamping of Avengers and FF books which was needed and last Thunderbolts. Thunderbolts wasn't like Suicide Squad it wasn't villains forced to be good it was villains conning a hero starved world filling a void and the public eating it up and in return the villains coming to enjoy their fame and some of them legitimately turning their backs on being criminals because they like being famous heroes more it's a story about the seduction of fame. It can't happen in the books again because the heroes aren't going to "die" again in that volume for that long. It can't happen on screen because of the time restraints of film it can not be developed as it would need to be and just end up a Suicide Squad rip-off. But leave it to Bob to miss the point yet the dumb basement dwelling fat fuck will do video after video trashing Zack Snyder for not understanding comic characters.

And I approve of this message. I want to add, what Blobbo thinks Disney is going to hold on to Marvel that long for that to happen? I mean it looks like MCU can go at anytime. Shit, even Captain Marvel might actually be a bomb a la The Last Jedi. I wholeheartedly agree that Thunderbolts was a once in a lifetime type book. How so? They had seven relaunches with different premises. All of them didn't even last.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

He just wants it because he believes it will make the Dems win forever and his superior future will totally happen. It's ironic since most of his opinions center around "the common man" being "submental", remember him using that phrase?, and yet he's shilling for a system that would lead to tyranny of the majority. The contradiction here is lost on him.

He is, after all, very clueless about politics.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Can we PLEASE just get a new poll already, @neural and have folks vote on this rather than the endless speculation?



Wait... what? Are you serious?

I mean... damn. If CBF had REALLY wanted to sell her story, that would have done it.



Actually, I think there was a window for this - right. now. You just had Avengers: Infinity War - we SAW a bunch of heroes die, do a Thunderbolts movie instead of Ant-man 2 or Captain Marvel. Have the villains picking up the slack and bam perfect Thunderbolts movie. You could even do a line like "Hey, I may be an evil bastard, but I'm an EARTHLING first and foremost dammit, and I ain't lettin' some purple bastard come in and mess with my territory!"



No it won't, Bob you absolute dumbass.

California ALONE has 55 electoral votes. The smallest possible electoral votes a state can have is a 3 minimum (montana, etc). That means it takes over 18 of the smallest states to outvote California. 18 out of 50. Nearly half. The NEXT highest state is 38 (texas) then 29 (new york and florida).

You literally just want the USA's politics to be determined by the state equivalent of the 1%.

Seriously Bob, get fucking bent with this "count as more" shit.

#SplitCalifornia

I've seen some speculation that Cali NY and NJ will each lose a few electoral votes each come 2020. Texas, Florida Arizona and a few others will gain. And in case you haven't figured it out, this is why California is so desperate to challenge the Trump Administrations decision to restore the Citizenship question to the Census. Cali's decline in "eligable voters aka citizens" is much worse than the raw numbers would indicate.

 

[Judge Dredd]

“You’re all unreachable and we shouldn’t even try!” I love how this guy not only thinks he actually matters, but also thinks that the best way to fix America is to declare large swaths of it, which voted for trump and contributed to him winning, are useless and he shouldn’t even bother with them. Winning strategy there, Of course these people are just too dumb to be taught according to Bob, who wanted to become a teacher at one point. It would be scary if Bob wasn’t absolutely too lazy.

I never understood this obsession SJWs have with becoming teachers, or LARPing as them by doing TEDx talks. Moviebob has shown no indication of liking kids or being interested in education beyond it being a stick to beat "dumb people" with. The closest I can think of is that it's secular version of being an Evangelical preacher or them wanting to indoctrinate the youth, but the latter sounds like a conspiracy theory and the former still doesn't really explain why.

So he wants the 2004 movie Taxi with Sega branding, or maybe a taxi theme Fast and the Furious?

I remember Bob hating the Fast and Furious movies exactly because they were nothing but over the top car stunts that appealed to the lowest common denominator.

Oh boy, where to start with this one.

The reason many people trust user reviews is because critics are often out of touch, paid off, or reviewing films based on politics. Ghostbusters 2016, Mass Effect 3, Dragon Age 2, Black Fucking Panther.

Brigading happens, but the reason it happens is that it's one of the few ways the average consumer has to make their voice heard against a major corporation. Sometimes there are brigades for bullshit reasons, but generally speaking such brigades don't stick in the long run. It's not a coincidence that those who are against user reviews and brigading are pro establishment critics and journalists who are watching themselves become obsolete in real time. Learn to code.

Bob is a Nintendo fan so he should know all this because Nintendo has famously been one of the worst offenders. They would release a shitty game like Metroid Other M or Federation Force and, when they failed to meet sales expectations due to being shit, would turn around and say "Well, since our first person football game didn't sell, that must mean Metroid is a dead franchise no one likes. Let's put this on ice and maybe dust it off a decade from now.".

 

[Someone in a Tree]

If those fist dragging mongoloids from flyover county want to earn Bob's desired respect, they better do something useful to society, like talking shit about an Adam Sandler movie or something.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

If those fist dragging mongoloids from flyover county want to earn Bob's desired respect, they better do something useful to society, like talking shit about an Adam Sandler movie or something.

Writing a book that is supposed to be about a overrated Mario game instead being about your life is a good way to get his attention.

 

[DogEatDogFood]

This is going to happen when Bob sees Captain Marvel: I'm going for the Islamic Content option, so be warned.

Spoiler

Bob enters the cinema excited. Those sexist rolls at Rotten Tomatoes think that the movie is shit but he is going to prove them wrong by writting mean things about them online once he is at home. "I hope the movie has some female empowerment" thinks Bob bitting his lower lip. That thought was extremely satyisfing for him: it feels almost like a sexual sensation. He goes to the counter to buy the tickets and sees the title Captain Marvel writting on it. "Captain. Is that what bother those sexists. A woman being a higher position" thought Bob while he was grabbing the tickets. He put the ticket close to his face and give it a good smell. "Smells like the patriarchy dying" thinks Bob with an arousing expression on his face. Trapped in his thoughts about the movie, he almost forgot about buying some popcorn. With a lot caramel of course because those obsolete white men can't tell him about how he has to take care of his health. After all, diabetes is just a social construct. From the get go, Bob is already happy. The room is already filled with people of races and genders. It's a shame he has to share space with some obsolete white men that think they have the right to enjoy media like anyone else. He place his humanity on his seat but very uncomfortably because the bigots at the cinema never heared of fat acceptance. The screen fills the room with his light and started to run a couple of trailers but none of them was starred by a minority or a woman. "Some people never learn" thinks Bob dissapointed. Finally, the eternal wait stopped and the huge logo of Marvel appears on the screen. Bob is already excited. The movie is going to be awesome and those white trash that want to stop progress will be proven wrong. The title Captain Marvel appears....

An hour and a half has passed and the film was approaching his ending. The movie was just fine and it was just the average Marvel movie that only tried to be fun without any other pretense. Bob is really dissappointed: this should be the movie that will show everyone how wrong they were. The movie isn't filling his expectations of the masterpiece he was hoping for. Maybe he was wrong for seeing things were they're none? Maybe he should start seeing movies for their actual quality instead of their political agenda? And most importantly: maybe he shouldn't judge other people as inferior just because they have the same gender and race as him? Those thought shake Bob to his very core and he starts to put his own values into question. What he should do now that wasted his entire life in misguided superiority complex? But then, the movie gives him the answers he needed: cinema, once again and as always, saves his life and his values. A group of rednecks in a pickup truck and start to make inappropiate comments about her body. "You are lookin fine, babe" says one of the rednecks while showing his disgusting white teeth. Carol Danvers closes her fists with fury: she wasn't willing to take that abuse from those disgusting white crackers. Bob looked to the screen excited It was this moment he was waiting for? Captain Marvel concentrateq on her hands a huge beam of light and lauches it with righteous fury to the pickup truck that those inferior white scum. The truck explodes in a instant and huge ball of fire and smoke while the rednecks scream in an agonizing pain. "Get'em girl. Get em!!!" screams Bob happily. That aroused feeling from before is coming back much stonger now. And harder. Carol's job wasn't over yet. One of the wounded rednecks was still clinging to his life and crawling without legs to desesperatly ask for help. The attempts are futile nonetheless as Captain Marvel slowly approachs him to finish the job. With an expression of fear of confusion , as he can't undestand with his low intelect the goddess in front of him, the redneck begs for his life. "Wait. Wait!! I pay my reparations regualrly and haven't said the N Word in five months. I only voted for Trump once. Please have mer..." The impact of Carol's fists silence his futile fists as she starts to beat him to death in graphic detail. Bob rejoices in happiness and he gets more excited and aroused with each impact. The aroused feeling on his XXXL pants increases as he hears the screams of pain of that white scum. "Yes. YES!!!. Kill him like the inferior trash he is, Carol!!!" says Bob shaking uncontrollably on his seat. Finally, the job is done and was left of the inferior being is a disfigurated and bloody corpse while Carol Danvers looks at him with an expression of contempt and disgust. This was the most important moment of his life. The culmination of all his efforts to stop the obsoletes from stopping the inevitable march of the world to the superior future. His sentimental connection with Carol Danvers was stronger that ever before and his hard manhood reflected that in a great extent. After looking down to the human being (if you can call'em that way) whose life she has taken, silence fills the scene for a couple of seconds. Then Carol breaks it when she says the inmortal words that would be rememebered as one of the famous quotes in the history of cinema. "Fuck Donald Trump" At that moment, Bob's feelings for Carol Danvers where beyond the metaphysical tridimensional level even if his own masculine biology is expressing them in the physical realm in a notorious way. His whole life now made sense just for this very moment and this moment of poetic perfection reaches his climax when Carol Danvers looks at the audience to give this masterpiece his ending "And Bernie Sanders too" Bob couldn't hold it anymore and fills the whole theater with his load of passion and lust while he screams with all his strength to express his love for Captain Marvel. The whole audience cheers and aplauds stading up while the screen shows the hasthag #AOC2020. Bob is whappier that when he played Super Mario Bros 3. The amount of satisfaction that he has in this moment is indescreptible as he is closer to his beloved superior future now. However, some aren't willing to accept this and a white male on the first row opens his disgusting mouth "This doesn't makes any sense. Why a superhero would kill civilians in cold blood? Why they added modern politics on the movie"? A combination of anger and disgust where directed at the sexist Trump support and a flow of comestible cinema products starts to fall over him. Bob laughs at the white male trying to make his escape while cursing the crowd for allowing Trump to win. After all: some people never learn.

Bon leaves the theater mentally and physically satisfyied. Now he'll get to his basment, open his computer and share with the rest of the world his satisfaction. Those working class scum will have to face the wrath of the minorities that they have opressed all this time. "Looks like Oscars 2020 have a winner for best movie" says Bob with an smug expresion on his face. His faith on the superior future was reassured once more.

Spoiler

I don't know what i'm doing with my life

 

[The tired cat]

Meh, I've read worse shit

 

[DogEatDogFood]

Meh, I've read worse shit

It wasn't much of ambitious project in relation of levels of what the fuck with shit of the "Dipper goes to Taco Bell" style because I focused my efforts in getting the main character's mentality right. His very exceptional mentality

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I wish I could change my vote to Islamic content, but I have a possible scenario for what would happen if Bob saw Captain Marvel.


Bob would likely overhype it and treat it as a major step forward to women representation in genre films while in reality it is just a mediocre superhero movie. He'd also try to say the movie has some meta-narrative of the Skrulls representing the white supremacists/russians infiltrating our society to divide us, and wank on about how this movie represents Trump's America. He'd also then declare it for an Oscar and then get angry about other movies that could possibly pose a threat to Captain Marvel.

 

[TVB]

It wasn't much of ambitious project in relation of levels of what the fuck with shit of the "Dipper goes to Taco Bell" style because I focused my efforts in getting the main character's mentality right. His very exceptional mentality

Ehh, at least it ain't as bad as say... Between Friends.

 

[Cool kitties club]

I wish I could change my vote to Islamic content, but I have a possible scenario for what would happen if Bob saw Captain Marvel.


Bob would likely overhype it and treat it as a major step forward to women representation in genre films while in reality it is just a mediocre superhero movie. He'd also try to say the movie has some meta-narrative of the Skrulls representing the white supremacists/russians infiltrating our society to divide us, and wank on about how this movie represents Trump's America. He'd also then declare it for an Oscar and then get angry about other movies that could possibly pose a threat to Captain Marvel.

But would it be deeper then Black Panther?

 

[Doctor of Autism]

But would it be deeper then Black Panther?

It depends if Bob puts woman or black people higher on priorities.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

I predict that Bob’s going to call Captain Marvel a new groundbreaking era for MCU and for superhero films in general, ignoring Wonder Woman of course. Plus, he’ll white Knight it the same way he did with Last Jedi.