🐱 Nero dubbed ‘the original neckbeard’ after image of realistic sculpture spreads

Nero dubbed 'the original neckbeard' after image of realistic sculpture spreads

Twitter users are amazed and astonished at a realistic sculpture of Roman emperor Nero that makes the imperator look like a right-wing internet user.

www.dailydot.com

Twitter is burning, and it’s all Nero’s fault. The Roman emperor is going viral after users stumbled across an incredibly realistic sculpture of the Roman imperator, who looks more like he belongs on Reddit’s r/KotakuInAction than ruling Rome.

Early Tuesday morning, The Enthusiast author Josh Fruhlinger shared three photos showing off a hyper-realistic artistic depiction of Nero, complete with excruciatingly detailed hair, skin blemishes, a Roman nose, and an arrogant smirk. Together, Nero looks a lot like an “internet neckbeard,” or a (usually cis, straight, and white) man who spends their time complaining about women on the internet.

Observe.




It’s shockingly accurate.

“Someone made some a super lifelike nero head based on one of the most famous portrait busts of him and folks,” Fruhlinger tweeted, “i am horrified.”

The Daily Dot reached out to Fruhlinger for comment.

For the record, the sculpture is from Spanish artist Césares de Roma, who creates realistic busts of historical Roman figures. Case in point, his Nero piece might as well be a profile picture from a Comicsgate fan review-bombing Captain Marvel on Rotten Tomatoes. It’s so lifelike, it’s hard to see anything but a basement dweller in his face.

Twitter quickly took notice, dubbing Nero “the original neckbeard.”

Oh, and for the record, r/KotakuInAction is having a normal one over this. One Redditor shared an A.V. Club article on Neckbeard Nero to r/KotakuInAction, warning the site “libels gamers and people who hated the Last Jedi.” Because clearly, that’s what libel is.

“What nonsense is this? Everyone knows that Nero is a cute fuckable waifu,” one gamer replied, linking to a Google Image search of Nero Cladius from Fate/Grand Order. “Duh…”

Sometimes, the stories write themselves.

 

[Foxxo]

Okay, that hair color's bullcrap. You expect me to believe that Nero, a descendant of Augustus, was an Irish-looking ginger?

Sure, he had no soul, but I didn't think inbred Latins looked like Dacians or inbred Celts.

 

[not william stenchever]

Funnily enough though, contemporary accounts record Nero as having been out the city when the fire started, but after hearing about it immediately returned to rome and began actively and effectively coordinating relief efforts, and in the aftermath opened up his palace for those made homeless.

I think his palace included personal hunting grounds so there was plenty of space. It must have been great PR to use all the free space to house the people who just lost their homes.

 

[John Titor]

What's Latin for "m'lady"?

 

[CWCissey]

If Null was a ginger...

 

[Coldgrip]

"Twitter users are amazed and astonished at a realistic sculpture of Roman emperor Nero that makes the imperator look like a right-wing internet user."

So any "right wing internet user" is a stereotypical neckbeard?

Quality unbiased journalism.

So does this mean we're all Nero? Because I'm fine with this level of degeneracy.

 

[Keystone]

Setting aside Catparty's continued crush on Ana Valens and this absolute nadir of using any random shit to shriek about a 5 year old flamewar and using some sperg redditor making an anime joke as "proof" they are so mad, are we to qualify this latest tranny cow as either

a) cynically gaming the clickbait addicts for outrage/"LOL DUNK'D" clicks
b) desperately trying to "redeem" himself for being on the pro GG side of autism for years
c) just another mentally ill attention whore looking for validation from anyone and everyone like every other narcissist troon on the web

A and C.

Counter-reminder. Thanks to most of the sources of the alleged depravities and atrocities of emperors like Nero and Caligula coming from heavily politicised accounts written decades/centuries after their reigns by those who had an active interest in shittalking them, we cant really be sure of just how exceptional these emperors truly were.

Indeed it has been argued that just about all of their bad rep stems from both Nero and Caligula seriously pissing off the noble classes, with both being populists who actively courted the support of the plebian classes while actively and openly talking shit about the nobility and the senate, whose descendants would later go on to write the history books about how the two emperors ate babies and raped skinned dogs in the street or whatever.

Hell, even Caligula's infamous pledge to make his horse a Consul which was retold as "proof" of his madness and destructiveness towards the state was actually just him saying the senate was so goddamn incompetent that he may as well have his horse be put in charge.

Odds are they were probably not egregiously worse than their contemporary emperors in terms of morality or sanity, but since they got put on the establishment's shit list they were turned over the decades/centuries after their deaths into semi mythological figures of evil and depravity

So the counterargument is that ancient people with the equivalent of TDS managed to write the history on these rulers. Very interesting, and very easy to see considering contemporary events and the self anointed "enlightened" class still very much existing. I'd worry about the same thing happening again, except these people are cutting their dicks off and/or ruining their bodies with unnecessary hormone treatments so they aren't going to leave anyone behind to tell how terrible Orange Man was.

It's funny in a cosmic sense when you think about it. There's no shortage of soy guzzlers kvetching about Trump. Millenia ago there were (potentially) nobles in robes kvetching so hard over Nero/Caligula that they gave themselves Nero Derangement Disorder -- or Caligula Derangement Disorder. Time truly is a fuckin' circle.

 

[UE 558]

When do we learn that Caligula was a zoosadist who ran around in an ancient fursuit?

 

[Tomboy Respecter]

Nero was a fucking Chad though

Raped his cousin and step-brother, Britannicus (i.e. the rightful ruler of the Roman Empire after Claudius died) before murdering him via poison in a feast
Became Emperor after (((Agrippina))) laid the way for him to come to power
Married his sister Octavia
Killed his mother because you can't trust Big titied Jewesses
Hated Ocatvia's guts and told her to kill herself (which he forced her to do)
Married a thot, Poppea Sabinus, and got her pregnant before he kicked the shit out of her and killed her and the baby
Was the top in two gay relationships, one with a castrated dude and the other with a Greek
All the while quelling the Anglo menace in the form of Boudica and putting the Jews in their place

Literally none of that is neckbeard-tier.

 

[Some Manajerk]

Alternatively, the reason no emperors lasted long after a certain point is two words: Praetorian Guard.

 

[Marchesa of the Vast]

Alternatively, the reason no emperors lasted long after a certain point is two words: Praetorian Guard.

Not true actually. The longest sitting (as referring to it as 'ruling' is inaccurate) emperor was in the West in the 5th century. Look at people like Diocletian who retired, Constantine who lasted a few decades, and Theodossius the Great also last a few decades. The influence of the Praetorian was at its height during the crisis of the third century.

 

[The Assyrian]

Even Ana Valens marvels at how predictable her articles are.

I'm just happy that someone named Valens is getting paid to write about ancient Rome.

 

[Marchesa of the Vast]

A and C.


So the counterargument is that ancient people with the equivalent of TDS managed to write the history on these rulers. Very interesting, and very easy to see considering contemporary events and the self anointed "enlightened" class still very much existing. I'd worry about the same thing happening again, except these people are cutting their dicks off and/or ruining their bodies with unnecessary hormone treatments so they aren't going to leave anyone behind to tell how terrible Orange Man was.

It's funny in a cosmic sense when you think about it. There's no shortage of soy guzzlers kvetching about Trump. Millenia ago there were (potentially) nobles in robes kvetching so hard over Nero/Caligula that they gave themselves Nero Derangement Disorder -- or Caligula Derangement Disorder. Time truly is a fuckin' circle.

Most of the histories in Rome were written by the patrician class. The classic example is the emperor Domitian. Modern takes are that he was a better than average emperor who ruled well, just unfortunate that he stood against the power of the super elites. Nero is regarded somewhat similarly to my knowledge. Popular with the populace, but had a great many powerful enemies.

 

[Stoneheart]

When do we learn that Caligula was a zoosadist who ran around in an ancient fursuit?

Im pretty sure some retard already wrote that hitpiece...
Caligula was a great man! We was a man of the People, He took money from the corrupt and build cool stuff for the poor and the gods with it.
Killing Senators isnt bad and Incitatus would have been the best consul in roman history.

 

[GreenJacket]

I remember calling Nero a neckbeard in my Latin class 5 years ago.

 

[ZehnBoat]

for those who don't want to read up on what's going on
OH NO GUY HAD FACIAL HAIR AND WAS A WHITE MALE, I GOT DUH TRUMPZ PTSD IN ME DIES A GREAT ARTIST!!!

that's basically it

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

Nero also fed Christians to lions, so now this shit makes even more sense

M'Latona.

 

[Bazaine]

This is very well-executed from a technical perspective, I'd love to see some more of these (this wonderfully vivid bust of Caracalla is crying out for this kind of treatment in particular).

Would definitely have to disagree on some points of interpretation though -- I suspect he's come out rather too dishevelled-looking. He's recorded as being meticulous about his hairstyle (which was viewed as fashionable and copied by his supporters):

He did not take the least trouble to dress in an appropriate fashion, but always had his hair set in rows of curls...

and indeed that sculptural head clearly shows it as thick and wavy rather than thin and lank as the 3D rendering makes it. The beard is neater-looking in the original as well.

Okay, that hair color's bullcrap. You expect me to believe that Nero, a descendant of Augustus, was an Irish-looking ginger?

Sure, he had no soul, but I didn't think inbred Latins looked like Dacians or inbred Celts.

Correct! Suetonius gives his hair colour as "subflavo" which I've seen translated variously as "light blond" and "blondish".

 

[deodorant]

Guys I'm pretty sure if Caligula was around today he'd be a 10th wave eco-cyber facist femenist

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

Guys I'm pretty sure if Caligula was around today he'd be a 10th wave eco-cyber facist femenist

Yeah but he'd also ban fatties from his orgies.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

nero wouldve loved watching anime and my little pony tbh