Lovequest Leaked Catie Texts

[The Dude]

So much entitlement, holy shit. And that recent post from Skyraider where Catie flat out tells him "no, we are NOT in a relationship, stop calling me sweetheart. It's weird." and he keeps on doing it, like he can force her to love him because that's what HE wants. This is blatantly showcasing that all Chris cares about is Chris and he will manipulate, guilt trip, and nearly force himself on people to get what he wants. It's all about him.

And the "I'm royalty" shit is hilarious. If you go back far enough into anyone's genealogy you will find royalty in their family history. It's nothing special and it certainly does not entitle Chris or anyone else to sex or a relationship.

And Barb honestly thinking that a woman would try to get her nasty, vermin ridden house by using Chris is just hilarious. Hell, the idea that Barb thinks any woman would want Chris in their life is just comically delusional.

 

[Dang Dirty Troll]

In the best-case scenario a psychiatric confinement with a beautiful nurse could help him a lot.

And Chris will think the pretty nurse being nice to him means he is entitled to have her be his sweetheart, leading to Chris filing a false patient abuse claim against her when she denies him the china he feels entitled to.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

So much entitlement, holy shit. And that recent post from Skyraider where Catie flat out tells him "no, we are NOT in a relationship, stop calling me sweetheart. It's weird." and he keeps on doing it, like he can forcetly her to love him because that's what HE wants. This is blatantly showcasing that all Chris cares about is Chris and he will manipulate, guilt trip, and nearly force himself on people to get what he wants. It's all about him.

I've always been of the school that believes Chris does learn if he's taught often enough, but with this it's as if nothing has happened since Megan. Exactly the same. One consolation is that at least this time it's a fictional character getting passive-aggressive harassment.

 

[whatisthisidonteven]

When he says "near 7 inch cock" he is talking about the strap on.

 

[Eponine]

Chris: Right; we are a boy/girl and a girl friends in an open relationship.

Chris identifies as a guy still, despite all of his gender gymnastics. Good to know.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

Cripes he hasn't learned a damn thing about dealing with other people in 15 years.

I honestly believe that he is screwed beyond all help. These last years with only Barb as his companion was the final nail in his coffin

 

[Dang Dirty Troll]

Bob was possibly overreacting to a single incident. Barb overreacts to every incident.

Good point. Now that you mention it, Barb never did anything illegal (like assaulting a police officer) when Bob was alive.

 

[TheAmazingAxolotl]

"near sever incher damn cock"

Hmm, let's see.

Spoiler: duck

Guess it is near seven incher!

I was eating beef jerky when I had the misfortune of seeing this.

That's 5 inches maximum, give or take the gratuitous bend.

 

[DJAndyMD]

I lost it when he said that Snorlax said Catherine was "common" for not wanting a relationship with her son. The hell? Is she turning into a snob lately? Its like Barb suddenly turned into Hyacinth Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances (I know that sounds so dorky of a reference). Anyways, I kind of feel bad for Chris but at the same time, he sounds like an entitled brat who is still not mature enough for a relationship.

 

[Count Olaf]

Oh boy, oh boy... **pant. pant. pant...**

Thats a new one for the top right corner if you ask me.

 

[MACH-IV]

is that a birth defect or something? how does that happen?
I can think of several events in Christory that may have had something to do with it, but what is the medical terminology?
Besides just autism.

 

[The Dude]

Those texts show Chris to be an entitled child. Catie is supposed to just stay with him because he has let himself be burned by fake relationships? The way he keeps throwing up the "I have been depressed" line is pathetic, like he wants her to feel guilty. The "you just want a free house to crash" line is funny.

Like he wasn't just asking Renee to have his kid and store the hoard in her house just last month.

He DOES want her to feel guilty. That's exactly the point of guilt trips, to make the other person feel guilty enough to give you what you want.

And the whole "Mommy says you're just using me to get our house" and then Chris trying to get Renee to let them stash their garbage at her house is just so hilariously un-self aware. He's just so clueless.

 

[BillRiley]

Good point. Now that you mention it, Barb never did anything illegal (like assaulting a police officer) when Bob was alive.

Yeah. Bob's modus operandi was to accuse people of being homosexual, move to another county and file a lawsuit.

 

[MACH-IV]

I was eating beef jerky when I had the misfortune of seeing this.

That's 5 inches maximum, give or take the gratuitous bend.

He said near seven. Five is only two away from seven.

shit I just saw Hulk Hogan made the same joke already.

 

[_blank_]

I need to send Chris a nice fruit basket one of these days for all the material he just gave me for "The Real Sonichu."

If anything, this just encapsulates the fantasy life Chris has built up for himself. Part of it was obviously escapism from his terrible upbringing, but Chris has shown that despite his understanding of this fact, he has continued to live in this delusion out of convenience and fully expects the rest of the world to adhere to his delusion. He speaks to her like he expects everything to play out like an episode of "Saved By the Bell," or something with a shitty electric keyboard backing during the emotional scenes. When things don't work out like this, he gets indignant at her, like she just broke character.

As for the seven-inch cock thing, this did not surprise me in the least. Chris is very opportunistic and has shown time and again to go far outside the boundaries of common sense to get what he wants. It's more and more obvious he's started this whole "I am a lesbian soul" thing because he really believes this is some Tenchi Muyo/ Ranma 1/2 bullshit where he thinks if he plays the part of a lesbian, more women will immediately become attracted to him and then would not be able to pull themselves away from his member, like some porno.

My only question is... Megan, Ivy, Jackie, Kacey, Wallflower, PandoHalo, Blanca, Julie, and now Catie. He said 10 Real or Theoretical Relationships... who am I forgetting?

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I lost it when he said that Snorlax said Catherine was "common" for not wanting a relationship with her son. The hell? Is she turning into a snob lately?

Two factors in play here.
1. Nothing is ever Chris or Barb's fault.
2. Chris has nothing to offer a woman.
She needs to maintain the moral high ground somehow, but can't admit that Christian is ugly, fat, stupid, poor, smelly, has zero prospects or any of the legit reasons why women don't find him attractive - that would be admitting fault, quite possibly fault that lies with her. But by coming up with this bizarre "she's too common to appreciate royalty" thing, she turns Renee not fancying her obese transvestite son into a positive for Chris. I thought the coddling days were over, but apparently not.

 

[TheAmazingAxolotl]

He said near seven. Five is only two away from seven.

Now, don't get me wrong, I know a thing or two about dicks. And one of those things is that in terms of dick, an inch is pretty damn noticeable.

So given that an inch is longer in dick inches than in imperial inches, two dick inches is pretty much a dick cubit. It's a considerable amount of length. To say his five-inch drake is two inches longer than what it is - that's just plain wrong, because two inches makes a lot of difference on a dick. "Near" anything doesn't mean shit when discussing the dick, especially when you take and send a picture of it.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Good point. Now that you mention it, Barb never did anything illegal (like assaulting a police officer) when Bob was alive.

That we know of.

What we do know is that she got around. A LOT. And then if Cole asked about his father's real identity, to this day she probably would keep lying and say it was the wrong guy. What kind of a mother Barb is really can't be expressed more than how she lied about his own father for his entire life under her care and never felt remorse. And Chris has been shacked up with that crazy bitch for far longer since Cole literally got as fucking far away as continentally possible at 19.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

As for the seven-inch cock thing, this did not surprise me in the least. Chris is very opportunistic and has shown time and again to go far outside the boundaries of common sense to get what he wants. It's more and more obvious he's started this whole "I am a lesbian soul" thing because he really believes this is some Tenchi Muyo/ Ranma 1/2 bullshit where he thinks if he plays the part of a lesbian, more women will immediately become attracted to him and then would not be able to pull themselves away from his member, like some porno.

My only question is... Megan, Ivy, Jackie, Kacey, Wallflower, PandoHalo, Blanca, Julie, and now Catie. He said 10 Real or Theoretical Relationships... who am I forgetting?

Lori Lopez, Vanessa Hudgens, Emily, Chloe, Hannah, Faeryn, Meg Griffin, the Cherokian Hooker, Lovely Weather...

 

[FogHornCakeHorn]

Catie: Hey, why do you keep calling me 'heartthrob'?

Chris: Well, Love, I Mean the word as an endearing term of Love, and it's another good choice word in regards to Sweetheart. But moreover, and I am serious: whenever I think of you, Catherine, I feel my heart beating better and more positive.

Catie: Okaaay but you shouldn't call me sweetheart or anything.

Chris: While I do understand that you and I are in the "Friend Zone" at the moment and while, for the needs of some of our closest ones at least, I have been feeling, and still feel, the most positive and passionate of love for you from our earliest conversations and growing continuing from there. Also, I know I can not change your mind, but I am still going to feel for you soo much anyhow.

Catie: But we aren't in a relationship. I told you that when we went bowling.

Chris: Right; we are a boy/girl and a girl friends in an open relationship.

Catie: No, we aren't in a relationship. You couldn't handle the open relationship you wanted in the first place.

Chris: You can't be telling me you've never felt that way about me mutually. I remember past events, and I have learned from the mistakes. I know you care about and Love me too.

Catie: It's platonic Chris. I'm not your sweetheart or your girlfriend. We're friends, that's all.

Chris: Yeah. But I still feel for you like that anyhow.

Catie: Okay but you shouldn't call me sweetheart or anything. That's weird.

Chris: And I have and still am working a Lot for you and me; Us. And I respect your space and needs and learn from my mistakes, too!

Catie: It's just, you keep acting like we're in a relationship and we aren't. I told you several times.

Chris: Don't forget, we were over a 97% Q&A match in over a thousand on OKCupid.

Catie: Lol, Chris, an online dating site doesn't mean all that much!

Chris: It means a LOT!

Catie: It's not like it means people are destined to be together, it's just common interests and stuff. That's all.

Chris: Possibly sounding crazy, but I will Not Lose You, Catie Heart!

Catie: We're still friends though, I thought you were okay with that. I just don't want to be in a relationship with you.

This has changed my mind at first I thought Chris was being a dickhead but they have a 97% Q&A match on OKCupid, so legally in the state of autism any score above 95% on OKCupid means your married.