šŸ· Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

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No creativity said:
That's the most Baffling thing about Ralph really.

He has by sheer luck managed to outlast all other Internet Bloodsport personalities as they fell one by one because of their own incompetence and inability to stop petty drama from interfering with their job. He's had a first-row seat to Kraut getting hoist by his own gay ops, Matt Mundane being caught red-handed as a flaggot and Sargon losing face, Patreon and whatever chance he ever had of becoming an actual political figure due to his inability to handle mild banter.

Not only has he learned absolutely nothing from watching these people's failures but it seems like he's going out of his way to copy every single one of their mistakes.
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He is icarus. We are Daedalus
 
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Smarty Pants said:
Just a reminder that he ate a half-eaten cheeseburger from the garbage can.
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I am going to call it now and I'm shocked no one else has noticed, we're witnessing Ralph's transition into his final form:
692733


Soon he'll be sucking dick for cheeseburgers and crawling around the floors of McDonald's for burger crumbs.

In all seriousness I hope to God he didn't eat a cheeseburger out of the garbage can. He did say he got it for free maybe an employee gave it to him because they were afraid he was going to eat them, but the way he worded it sounded more like he just stole the cheeseburger which is probably worse for someone on probation.
 
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I remember seeing a close family member rescue themselves from a hard drug addiction and turn their life around. Ever since then, I've always taken pleasure in seeing seemingly hopeless people pick up the pieces up and make something of themselves. Who doesn't love a good redemption arc? When Ralph got out of jail and started doing his show, it seemed like exactly that. Seemed like a guy who thought too much of himself had gotten knocked down royally and genuinely come out of his ordeal and better and more mature person. I remember the MundaneMatt stream, the Healstream, and even the good times on Stream.me. Seeing it all go down in flames is a major fucking bummer.

Still, I suppose disappointment is my just desserts for expecting anything good from a drunken blob of an e-celeb. Congratulations, Ralph. You managed to take a godsend of luck, a foolproof format, as well as a the praise of some of the most entertaining people on the internet, and totally capsize it all with your laziness, pettiness, and incompetence. I guess eighteen months wasn't enough to permanently check your massive fucking ego.

Also, hi everyone. I'm new here.
 
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verissimus said:
No show tonight? Are we on another hiatus?
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Brainlet Andy handed the pasture their dox on a platter with a photo he took on the roof of the hotel where they're staying. They're likely aware. Zoom has rode the pasture's coattails and is currently ordering strippers, liquor, and food in exorbitant amounts to be delivered to them. Considering the pathetic showing that was the stream last night and walph's constant observation of the pasture, here et al, he might have had a moment of clarity and decided not to stream. I stress might.
 
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Garth said:
Brainlet Andy handed the pasture their dox on a platter with a photo he took on the roof of the hotel where they're staying. They're likely aware. Zoom has rode the pasture's coattails and is currently ordering strippers, liquor, and food in exorbitant amounts to be delivered to them. Considering the pathetic showing that was the stream last night and walph's constant observation of the pasture, here et al, he might have had a moment of clarity and decided not to stream. I stress might.
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Somewhere in South beach, you can hear a southern wigger with a dolphin laugh cry out in a drunken stupor, ā€œYOU WANNA FUCKING HOLLER OVER ME I FUCKING GODDAMNā€ as his eyes strain, F5 key permanently indented into his toasterā€™s keyboard as he shakes his fists towards the monitor as a certain bovine board orders copious amounts of pizza and liquor. Upon such news, the gunt awakens to the thought of its favorite staples being shoveled into Ethanā€™s gaping maw, the nutrients it needs to grow more rotund and grotesque as it slowly co-ops control of Ethanā€™s remaining mental faculties. Ralph finally breaks his rage-fueled gaze from the screen, only to look up and see his retarded partner in crime attempting to shove various household objects in his rectum with the help of an obese Cuban, a silent yet powerful resentment grows as this retard is one of the primary sources of Ethanā€™s torment and misery at the hands of the dreaded ā€œboardsā€. Violent thoughts race through his mind as the mental sight of a Canuck that has been splattered across the pavement after taking a wonderous flight off the hotel balcony and a lifetime of incarceration give him temporary reprieve for he knows that the nightmare will end soon.
 
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