DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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I thought this was established lore? Didn’t he claim he had hatchets by every window or some exceptional shit like that?

Yeah, i'm almost certain he even showed the larger axe back when he did his last house tour video.

On that note though, I still laugh at the idea that Phil thinks he's gonna scare off armed robbers with an axe. Hell, he'd probably cripple himself before he even finished winding up for the swing.
 
Yeah, i'm almost certain he even showed the larger axe back when he did his last house tour video.

On that note though, I still laugh at the idea that Phil thinks he's gonna scare off armed robbers with an axe. Hell, he'd probably cripple himself before he even finished winding up for the swing.

Thank fuck he doesn't actually own a firearm. Given his vast history with Parkinsonian aim if he was ever the victim of a home invasion he'd fire a single shot and somehow manage to kill a sleeping infant in the house across the street.
 
Let's see how his hammer and ax will stop someone with a handgun or rifle.
Thought there was some stream where he hinted at having a gun. Something along the lines of "Who says I don't have a real gun?".

If DSP ever does reveal he's bought a gun of any kind I'm gonna guess he'd go right for some premium $1000+ 1911 instead of a Hi-Point or S&W Shield.
 
Thought there was some stream where he hinted at having a gun. Something along the lines of "Who says I don't have a real gun?".

If DSP ever does reveal he's bought a gun of any kind I'm gonna guess he'd go right for some premium $1000+ 1911 instead of a Hi-Point or S&W Shield.
How dare you imply Dave have a decent taste in handguns. A little off topic but $1k for a 1911 is about mid tier when you have things like Wilson Combats for $4k+ and a cheap 1911 is going to run about $500 at the low end. I’d lul at Dave trying to meme out and buy a Desert Eagle only to find he couldn’t hold the damn thing out at arms length. I’d also lul at seeing him limp wristing a glock into a jam-o-matic.
 
Let's see how his hammer and ax will stop someone with a handgun or rifle.
Bare handed is enough. Combine Phil's reaction time with his physical strength and you get the overall threat he induces. Accidentally falling over his cables is way more dangerous. So the most important question is: Does a big axe weight more than a half filled grocery bag?
 
Bare handed is enough. Combine Phil's reaction time with his physical strength and you get the overall threat he induces. Accidentally falling over his cables is way more dangerous. So the most important question is: Does a big axe weight more than a half filled grocery bag?
The thing is the only thing I can think of that is a hammer/axe is a splitting maul, which if that’s the case is an extremely exceptional weapon to choose for self defense.

5-10lbs is the usual head weight range for a splitting maul.
708546
 
Let's see how his hammer and ax will stop someone with a handgun or rifle.

"I own two weapons"

You own two TOOLS that COULD be used as weapons, assuming you have the strength and space to swing them, and the burglar is wielding something equally stone-age to give you a fair chance. All the money he gets from his paypigs, and his first choice for home-defense is two axes, instead of one gun? I think he's done one too many Dark Souls redemption runs.
 
"I own two weapons"

You own two TOOLS that COULD be used as weapons, assuming you have the strength and space to swing them, and the burglar is wielding something equally stone-age to give you a fair chance. All the money he gets from his paypigs, and his first choice for home-defense is two axes, instead of one gun? I think he's done one too many Dark Souls redemption runs.
Ahmagahd I dahdged the knife and it hit me anyway! Sure, that's fair! Stupid asshole burglar, spaming attack like a mindless child. Uuuuuh. Uuuuuh, look at me, I'm invading your home, oouuuh. Sure you do, get outta here"
bleeds on the ground and checks Muxy
 
All the money he gets from his paypigs, and his first choice for home-defense is two axes, instead of one gun?

Level with me. You really think a man who takes weeks to type one set of numbers into a spreadsheet is going to voluntarily fill out the paperwork necessary to acquire a firearm?

I guarantee one of the factors that attracted him to his "weapon(s)" of choice was that they could be purchased online and shipped to him.
 
How dare you imply Dave have a decent taste in handguns. A little off topic but $1k for a 1911 is about mid tier when you have things like Wilson Combats for $4k+ and a cheap 1911 is going to run about $500 at the low end. I’d lul at Dave trying to meme out and buy a Desert Eagle only to find he couldn’t hold the damn thing out at arms length. I’d also lul at seeing him limp wristing a glock into a jam-o-matic.

Well I was gonna say he'd just immediately go for a 44 magnum, but those sorta max out around $1000. I assume Phil's "More Expensive is Better" attitude would shine through and price would be all that'd matter to him rather than any considerations of caliber. When all he really would need is something cheap to sit in a drawer and probably never be fired cause I can't imagine him actually going to the range to practice.
 
Well I was gonna say he'd just immediately go for a 44 magnum, but those sorta max out around $1000. I assume Phil's "More Expensive is Better" attitude would shine through and price would be all that'd matter to him rather than any considerations of caliber. When all he really would need is something cheap to sit in a drawer and probably never be fired cause I can't imagine him actually going to the range to practice.
I’d laugh hard if he went for the firepower trumps all route and got something truly exceptional like a .45-70 derringer.
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