DSP: "I have to visit CT and see sick parents in 2019" - most dramatic event of all of 2019 so far

[Raven'sChild]

D$P is taking tomorrow off to "get travel supplies". What exactly are 'travel supplies'? My money is on Khet insisting she needs new clothes as well as 'Winter Wear' ( Ski jacket/ trendy cold weather coat/coats, pants, shoes, socks, thermal underwear, flannel nightwear, gloves, hats, scarves, leggings...) D$P's parents may be paying for the trip, but viewer Tips are buying Khet's new Winter, Dinner and walk-about wear...and probably new suitcases to pack it all in.

 

[Kermit the Frog]

The fact that all of the money Phil raised from his marathon stream, around $1,000, went to "basic bills" and not his taxes (flat out lying to his paypigs when he thanked them for helping with his taxes), I'm going to guess that he's already secured the tax money from his parents. Remember two things: 1) Phil revealed that his parents were near death in late November/early December; 2) Right around the same time, Phil "guessed" he owed $16k in taxes and wouldn't you know, for once in his life it turns out he was exactly right (the extra thousand to the $17k total could be for paying off his tax guy he keeps talking about or how much he thinks the trip to CT is going to cost or just some extra spending money for the "travel supplies").
So he's known for a few months how much money he's needed and he's found a convenient way to go visit his parents without raising too much suspicion from his paypigs. And in true Phil fashion, he's been using both to beg for pity bucks. I at first thought this was Phil's way of trying to sneak a vacation to southern California, but now I do believe that Phil had a talk with his parents, begged them for money to pay off his taxes ("It's an advance on mah inheritance. Sound good?"), and the only reason he's going to visit them in person (to actually see Phil's tax documents in person so they know he's not bullshitting and ostensibly to meet his pet horse) is because that was the stipulation they put up. Phil had no choice but to agree, since he really needs that money. Plus, he gets to go to his favorite ghetto zoo and eat REAL, AUTHENTIC Italian food.

 

[Raven'sChild]

D$P is taking tomorrow off to "get travel supplies". What exactly are 'travel supplies'?

While trying to find where D$P said something during his last Minecraft stream as to quote it, I happened upon what one 'travel supply' item is: a copy of Breath of the Wild for the Switch as Khet is taking the Switch on the trip and wants to play that game while on the plane.

 

[actually]

So he's known for a few months how much money he's needed and he's found a convenient way to go visit his parents without raising too much suspicion from his paypigs. And in true Phil fashion, he's been using both to beg for pity bucks. I at first thought this was Phil's way of trying to sneak a vacation to southern California, but now I do believe that Phil had a talk with his parents, begged them for money to pay off his taxes ("It's an advance on mah inheritance. Sound good?"), and the only reason he's going to visit them in person (to actually see Phil's tax documents in person so they know he's not bullshitting and ostensibly to meet his pet horse) is because that was the stipulation they put up. Phil had no choice but to agree, since he really needs that money. Plus, he gets to go to his favorite ghetto zoo and eat REAL, AUTHENTIC Italian food.

Counter wildcard theory: he and Kat are going to CT to find a new place to live, and the visit to his parents is the stated reason. This is 99.9% not going to happen, but consider, as you said, that he pulled the $16k number (probably based on last year), then got $12k...and still somehow owes $17k. He's also saying that he needs $5k or he's probably sunk. So he sells the WAKhando while prices are still up, uses the profit to put a down payment on a smaller place (maybe even an actual house?!?) and pay off some of the higher interest debts (like, say, those ones he referred to being able to finish off in the next couple of years), and then he doesn't have to worry about money as much.

 

[KangarooPissSpray]

Counter wildcard theory: he and Kat are going to CT to find a new place to live, and the visit to his parents is the stated reason. This is 99.9% not going to happen, but consider, as you said, that he pulled the $16k number (probably based on last year), then got $12k...and still somehow owes $17k. He's also saying that he needs $5k or he's probably sunk. So he sells the WAKhando while prices are still up, uses the profit to put a down payment on a smaller place (maybe even an actual house?‽) and pay off some of the higher interest debts (like, say, those ones he referred to being able to finish off in the next couple of years), and then he doesn't have to worry about money as much.

Dave selling a house before the market tanks at what is most likely the height of the market?!?! Inconceivable me thinks, Not to mention it’d shoot half his narratives out of the water me thinks he’d rather live in a halfway house in Washington than move back to the mean streets of CT.

 

[Freshtodeath]

just picturing phil at airport and on the plane is pretty funny. When was last time he was in sunlight even?

 

[N0thingICanDo]

just picturing phil at airport and on the plane is pretty funny. When was last time he was in sunlight even?

April 6, 2019

Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, Washington

Departure Lobby

Katherine"Khet" St. Jean:
"Honey could you help me carry the luggage please, I need to find our tickets and the airline's counter"

Dave "DSP" Burnelli:
"Are you stoooopid? You are the one who always go to the JIM, look at my noodle arms, I can't even take my own luggage! Hold on horsie, let me go check our flight"

DSP:
"WTF man, there's an error message on the screen!!! WTF and it only blocked the information on the plane I need to get on, ME, REEEEEEEEEEEE, wtf man, the screenboard glitched AckAckAckAckAck, nothing I can do!"

Khet:
"Did you find which terminal we should board the plane on honey bun?"

DSP:
"Ugh no.......the screenboard glitched I can't see it, fucking detractors must have infiltrated the airport and dont want us to go back home to see my dying parents"

Khet:
"Then why it took you so long to come back!? You could check your phone too if the screen wasnt working!"

DSP:
"You think I didnt try you moron??? When i go to the airport website the pop-up Ad keeps popping out!"

Khet:
"You could block the Popup Ad from your phone's browser no?"

DSP:
"I am pressing the button right now, look here, look listen! (show phone), Im pressing the button dood, I COULDNT BLOCK!!!!"

Airport Overhead Announcement:
" Attention Attention, Passenger Dave Burnelli and Kat St. Jean, please report to Boarding Gate 1488 immediately, your plane bound for Conneticut will depart in FIVE MINUTES, this is the last boarding call"

Khet:
"Babe let's run now, we are at Boarding Gate 1 and we have a long way to run!"

DSP:
"Hold on dooood I cant run! I have no stamina and I dont have any items to recover stamina here, I need to ride a horse...Khet! Come back Khet, Come bacccccccccccccccckkkkkk"

"My horse is now gone........SnoooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrT"

Boarding Gate 1488

Staff:
"Hello there, you must be Miss St.Jean, congraz you barely made it, the plane is about 30 seconds away from closing the gate, please show us your boarding pass and come this way, the other passenger would unfortunately not able to make it"

Khet:
"wait my boyfriend was right behind me....................WTF Phil where did you go? Sir could you hold the gate for one more minute he shouldnt be too far behind I'll call him now"
"Honey where did you go!? The plane is about to depart! What happened?"

DSP:
"The frame rate dropped doooood! I got lagged big time, fucking treyarch! I turned the stream on to ask chat which way I should go but there were so many trolls so I had to stop, camping in the airport bathroom, and lean-in-manual ban these idiot, okay?"

 

[FamicomGorby]

Autistic theory for why DSP is so calm despite raising nowhere near enough to cover his announced taxes.

His actual plan for getting plan for getting out of debt is insurance fraud!
Specifically arson or something, I just thought of this and need it written down in the one in a million chance this actually happens.

While I don't think this would actually happen, I also wouldn't put it past Phil. Essentially I think that were Phil to torch dah house, his upcoming trip could potentially give insurance/police a plausible scenario that they might actually believe. To craft a fake story that the authorities would actually believe, Phil would need to establish this fake perpetrator's motive and opportunity. I think DSP probably at least thinks he could convince anyone that there's an internet mob out to do physical harm to him, SWATing incident, so that takes care of a potential motive. Then for opportunity he's been very conveniently and loudly specifying the exact days that he won't be in the the house, giving a potential opportunity for fake perp. As for a specific perpetrator, it's the internet, even if there were a real perp I don't know if the Police could find em.

For actually doing it, obviously he can't do since they'd see him waddling on the neighborhood security cameras. He'd need to be out of state anyway to establish his alibi. So possibly Kat knows someone shady at whatever retail store she works at and he just cuts them with a pittance.

Now, what would Phil's potential motive be for doing this? I think two fold, first he realizes that he can't keep streaming forever or at least it's not going to be able to get him out from under the mountain of debt he's accrued. Two, something like this would not only bring out the pity-bux from his fans but also potentially give him some brief injection of internet fame.

So I guess I called it if Phil's trip culminates in a "Detractor's burned my house down doods" saga.

 

[FreshKolbasa]

Autistic theory for why DSP is so calm despite raising nowhere near enough to cover his announced taxes.

His actual plan for getting plan for getting out of debt is insurance fraud!
Specifically arson or something, I just thought of this and need it written down in the one in a million chance this actually happens.

While I don't think this would actually happen, I also wouldn't put it past Phil. Essentially I think that were Phil to torch dah house, his upcoming trip could potentially give insurance/police a plausible scenario that they might actually believe. To craft a fake story that the authorities would actually believe, Phil would need to establish this fake perpetrator's motive and opportunity. I think DSP probably at least thinks he could convince anyone that there's an internet mob out to do physical harm to him, SWATing incident, so that takes care of a potential motive...

Now, what would Phil's potential motive be for doing this? I think two fold, first he realizes that he can't keep streaming forever or at least it's not going to be able to get him out from under the mountain of debt he's accrued. Two, something like this would not only bring out the pity-bux from his fans but also potentially give him some brief injection of internet fame.

So I guess I called it if Phil's trip culminates in a "Detractor's burned my house down doods" saga.

Its a good story, but I think the roach has dug himself into his streaming only hole and refuses to get out. Also, I don't actually know if "he can't keep streaming forever" is something that's true. The guy owes 17k in taxes, and if we were to assume he at least dropped 3k before he publicly released that number then we're looking at 20k in taxes in Washington. If he's a sole proprietor, that comes out to roughly 72k to 79k in gross income. If he's not then it's up to 100k+.

Streaming has been really good for phil. Even when he was squealing and snorting, he still earned clean 11k in March.

I don't think phil would ever do such a chad thing like commit arson. This requires actual planning and though and DSP doesn't have time because he works "6 days a week". He knows that he'll spill his spaghetti when it comes to big boy shit. But i can only wish he'd commit something so stupid.

 

[Ikas_Ando]

Autistic theory for why DSP is so calm despite raising nowhere near enough to cover his announced taxes.

His actual plan for getting plan for getting out of debt is insurance fraud!
Specifically arson or something, I just thought of this and need it written down in the one in a million chance this actually happens.

While I don't think this would actually happen, I also wouldn't put it past Phil. Essentially I think that were Phil to torch dah house, his upcoming trip could potentially give insurance/police a plausible scenario that they might actually believe. To craft a fake story that the authorities would actually believe, Phil would need to establish this fake perpetrator's motive and opportunity. I think DSP probably at least thinks he could convince anyone that there's an internet mob out to do physical harm to him, SWATing incident, so that takes care of a potential motive. Then for opportunity he's been very conveniently and loudly specifying the exact days that he won't be in the the house, giving a potential opportunity for fake perp. As for a specific perpetrator, it's the internet, even if there were a real perp I don't know if the Police could find em.

For actually doing it, obviously he can't do since they'd see him waddling on the neighborhood security cameras. He'd need to be out of state anyway to establish his alibi. So possibly Kat knows someone shady at whatever retail store she works at and he just cuts them with a pittance.

Now, what would Phil's potential motive be for doing this? I think two fold, first he realizes that he can't keep streaming forever or at least it's not going to be able to get him out from under the mountain of debt he's accrued. Two, something like this would not only bring out the pity-bux from his fans but also potentially give him some brief injection of internet fame.

So I guess I called it if Phil's trip culminates in a "Detractor's burned my house down doods" saga.

I can’t see Phillip putting himself in such risk as to commit insurance fraud, he is a pig and a roach, and extremely crafty at conning dupes out of their allowance. As a bottom feeder, he’d never take on law enforcement and insurance. I’m sure he would sell his mother’s kidney if it meant an easy 10k, but he has his con on lockdown. He probably sold Leanna to Romanian human traffickers to replace his broken Guile statue...

As far as motive, I can’t think of anything about Phillip’s exaggerations that can be verified. No one will ever know (for now) whether he even owes a dime in taxes. His last tax con was to collect money to fly Kat back and forth and move her in. This mysterious 17k amount is probably just a slush fund for travel and retirement. This is probably a stage in his ‘long con’. He will always be in distress, he will always ask for money, BUT, he knows this con will run its course eventually.

As far as his house and CT vacation, I’d love to see Phillip get “Squatted”. Not Swatted, Squatted! Since he announced to his viewing audience that he will be out of town, it would be epic if a dozen of Seattle’s finest made Casa de’ Pig their home. Drill the locks, change them, move on in, write a false lease, and defile his loveseat (aka: masterbation station). When him and Kat arrive home they will immediately call the police, the squatters present the lease, and the police shrug and tell poor Phillip it’s a civil matter and it’s up to him to take this to court for eviction proceedings.

He would literally be homeless, without his possessions, and fubar’ed beyond belief. The eviction process would take anywhere from 3-6 months and cost thousands. Where would he go? What would he do? This chapter in Phillip’s 10 year begacy would make epic entertainment and I can’t think of a better con man to get conned.

 

[KangarooPissSpray]

I can’t see Phillip putting himself in such risk as to commit insurance fraud, he is a pig and a roach, and extremely crafty at conning dupes out of their allowance. As a bottom feeder, he’d never take on law enforcement and insurance. I’m sure he would sell his mother’s kidney if it meant an easy 10k, but he has his con on lockdown. He probably sold Leanna to Romanian human traffickers to replace his broken Guile statue...

As far as motive, I can’t think of anything about Phillip’s exaggerations that can be verified. No one will ever know (for now) whether he even owes a dime in taxes. His last tax con was to collect money to fly Kat back and forth and move her in. This mysterious 17k amount is probably just a slush fund for travel and retirement. This is probably a stage in his ‘long con’. He will always be in distress, he will always ask for money, BUT, he knows this con will run its course eventually.

As far as his house and CT vacation, I’d love to see Phillip get “Squatted”. Not Swatted, Squatted! Since he announced to his viewing audience that he will be out of town, it would be epic if a dozen of Seattle’s finest made Casa de’ Pig their home. Drill the locks, change them, move on in, write a false lease, and defile his loveseat (aka: masterbation station). When him and Kat arrive home they will immediately call the police, the squatters present the lease, and the police shrug and tell poor Phillip it’s a civil matter and it’s up to him to take this to court for eviction proceedings.

He would literally be homeless, without his possessions, and fubar’ed beyond belief. The eviction process would take anywhere from 3-6 months and cost thousands. Where would he go? What would he do? This chapter in Phillip’s 10 year begacy would make epic entertainment and I can’t think of a better con man to get conned.

Could never happen dood the place is on lock down for real security measures listed by Dave during the 4/2 night stream:
Gates (you step foot inside of them it’s a felony (lul)), cameras in the community that inform the police directly, alarm on the house that reports to the police (anyone else doubt Dave pays for alarm monitoring?), someone house sitting (scratch that going to check on it a few times), he informed all his neighbors and they will report any activity at the wakando... who’d be dumb enough to fuck with that Fort Knox level ring of security?!?! Not I sir, not I.

 

[Pargon]

Could never happen dood the place is on lock down for real security measures listed by Dave during the 4/2 night stream:
Gates (you step foot inside of them it’s a felony (lul)), cameras in the community that inform the police directly, alarm on the house that reports to the police (anyone else doubt Dave pays for alarm monitoring?), someone house sitting (scratch that going to check on it a few times), he informed all his neighbors and they will report any activity at the wakando... who’d be dumb enough to fuck with that Fort Knox level ring of security?!‽ Not I sir, not I.

Guaranteed half of those are bullshit. The idea that Phil Burnell voluntarily approached another human being in person and, whether through exchange of currency or promise of future favors, enlisted them to perform a service for him is the best joke I've heard all year. This is the same man who won't do fan meetups because he's too afraid of the detractors. Ten-to-one he's paranoid enough that he has suspicions that his neighbors know who he is.

If anyone set that up it'd have to be Kat, and I don't think that was a clause in her Big Boy Soulmate Agreement Form.

 

[BallBuster]

There was talk about him stating he’s paying someone to house sit. I’m calling bullshit. He’s not giving access to his home to a stranger. I’m saying he’s bluffing to try and deter any exceptional individuals from hopping that pathetic fence next to his house.

 

[KangarooPissSpray]

There was talk about him stating he’s paying someone to house sit. I’m calling bullshit. He’s not giving access to his home to a stranger. I’m saying he’s bluffing to try and deter any exceptional individuals from hopping that pathetic fence next to his house.

I’ll have to dig up a clip if I remered to get it (half away asleep ATM) but it started with him saying they would have a house sitter then after looking at chat (I assume people bringing up how he could afford that) he walked it back to saying someone would check on the place a few times during the week. Now we know Dave doesn’t have any friends, so either the demon horse has Jim coming over, what rando is Dave going to trust with his precious McMansion and all of his hoarded e-waste? I’m pressing X hard on them having someone coming by to check on the gout fortress. He really thinks his lying security flex will scare people off, this fucking guy....

 

[samovski]

I’ll have to dig up a clip if I remered to get it (half away asleep ATM) but it started with him saying they would have a house sitter then after looking at chat (I assume people bringing up how he could afford that) he walked it back to saying someone would check on the place a few times during the week. Now we know Dave doesn’t have any friends, so either the demon horse has Jim coming over, what rando is Dave going to trust with his precious McMansion and all of his hoarded e-waste? I’m pressing X hard on them having someone coming by to check on the gout fortress. He really thinks his lying security flex will scare people off, this fucking guy....

Sad/funny thing is no matter what he says if someone wants to break in they will. He attracts the autistic like a shit attracts flies. The fact he's so openly broadcasting when he's going and how long he'll be gone is madness to me, it's like he's asking to get robbed. A normal person wouldn't openly declare their house empty, someone like Dave doing it is like a open challenge. I know he can't hide that he'll be gone, but he's just so stupid I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot to lock the door.

 

[Gout of Redemption]

Sad/funny thing is no matter what he says if someone wants to break in they will. He attracts the autistic like a shit attracts flies. The fact he's so openly broadcasting when he's going and how long he'll be gone is madness to me, it's like he's asking to get robbed. A normal person wouldn't openly declare their house empty, someone like Dave doing it is like a open challenge. I know he can't hide that he'll be gone, but he's just so stupid I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot to lock the door.

Or he's hoping to get robbed to have a reason to start the next round of begging, because the Taxes saga for this year is nearing the end and DSP needs drama to have money, so him getting robbed is just the thing to carry his begging into the spring/summer

 

[BallBuster]

No one is breaking into his house. His trolls aren’t that ballsy. Wings’ trolls however wouldn’t think twice about doing some stupid shit like that. Phil is just a paranoid fuck. I’m sure the smell and mold wofting from his gout house is enough of a security protocol to keep Alogs at bay.

As for Swagginz, the Princess is a spergy little attention seeking fuck. Stop addressing it and it will go away.

 

[Sparkletor]

1. Phil lives in the middle unit. If he burned it down he would get so many additional charges. This is nonsense

2. Does Phil have an alarm system? The easiest was to see would to look at one of the dozen videos he stupidly posted that show every inch of his condo. I would think that showing every entrance, the layout, and where exactly he keeps his valuables would be a burglars dream mark.

3. Criminal trespass is not a felony in Washington. Its not even as bad as a forcible entry. Hmmm... Do we know anyone in Phil's life who was charged with forcible entry?

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

No one is breaking into his house. His trolls aren’t that ballsy.

I'm forced to attribute this fact to his Supernatural SwineLuck before I can call anyone a pussy, honestly.

 

[Stalker Sociopath]

I'm forced to attribute this fact to his Supernatural SwineLuck before I can call anyone a pussy, honestly.

If you want to have some fun with Phil order a bunch of perishable goods to his house via Amazon or something like that and make sure to include in the instructions to just leave everything at the front door. That way it will start to go rotten and his neighbors are going to start complaining LOL