Lovequest Chris and the Hooker

[Thetan]

Consider this an early Christmas present

Chris sent the attached images to Renee (someone he'd barely known a month) in the form of 2 attached text document.

The documents look to have been copy/pasted from a text conversation between Chris and a friend (whose name I've redacted ).

Anyway, enjoy!

 

[Locksnap]

She had done the weed.

 

[Datiko]

Thanks for documenting it for us Chris!

Edit: After a second time reading i noticed "I gave her a sample of the strong handed massage my mother enjoyed" Jesus Christ.

 

[Gazelle_Bro]

Thetan thank you for this birthday/Christmas gift. Always good to see these disturbing Chris things.

 

[Thetan]

My favorite bit (and perhaps the most disturbing...)

I gave her a sample of my strong-handed massage that my mother enjoyed in the past. Mia
really liked that.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Well, that sounded about as awkward as we all imagined it would be.

 

[lisaface]

I gave her a sample of my strong-handed massage that my mother enjoyed in the past.

Ewwwww.

She came and I came, but on my coming, it was only half-felt. And the semen that was mostly inside, but a smidge on the outside of the condom, confirmed it.

What?

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Did he snort hand sanitizer?

 

[EI 903]

The most disturbing part IMO was that there was semen on the outside of the condom. Even if the escort was 'fixed.'

 

[Frank Rizzo]

Well, that answers my question of whether or not Chris has ever kissed a girl. Apparently a lot of open mouthed kissin was going on between he and Mia. (The mental image of which is.....quite gross).

 

[Randall Fragg]

That poor, poor hooker.

 

[KatsuKitty]

God, I hope all the virgin spergs' heads explode reading this. A detailed account of Chris becoming a man.

Or will it be deemed fake to protect their illusion of Chris's continuing virginity?

FAKE!

 

[melty]

Not enough liquor in the world. That poor poor woman

 

[EI 903]

God, I hope all the virgin spergs' heads explode reading this. A detailed account of Chris becoming a man.

Or will it be deemed fake to protect their illusion of Chris's continuing virginity?

FAKE!

"Cultural virgin"

 

[Male Idiot]

In his own perverse way, he treated this girl better than he treated Catie. Still, poor girl.

 

[Frank Rizzo]

God, I hope all the virgin spergs' heads explode reading this. A detailed account of Chris becoming a man.

Or will it be deemed fake to protect their illusion of Chris's continuing virginity?

FAKE!

I was under the impression the weens/spergs were at peace with the fact that Chris got laid.

 

[Flowerwall]

In an effort to momentarily ignore some of the more horrifying and facepalm-inducing parts of this story, it strikes me that he appears to have spent a significant portion of his time just talking with the escort instead of spending the entire time having sex. I'm sure some degree of that could be a result of his surprisingly low sex drive (or so many have suggested), and now that he had his trophy, there was no need to go again -- but I also wonder if he just really is so desperate for people to talk to beyond Barb that he'd happily pay $150 for a conversation with a pretty girl.

 

[Ravenor]

Well that woman's a trooper.

Seriously though there is not one single thing about that whole escapade that sounded anything but awkward, an the whole massage for barb thing sent a chill up my spine, but Chris swallowed the whole act hook line an sinker.

 

[Male Idiot]

In an effort to momentarily ignore some of the more horrifying and facepalm-inducing parts of this story, it strikes me that he appears to have spent a significant portion of his time just talking with the escort instead of spending the entire time having sex. I'm sure some degree of that could be a result of his surprisingly low sex drive (or so many have suggested), and now that he had his trophy, there was no need to go again -- but I also wonder if he just really is so desperate for people to talk to beyond Barb that he'd happily pay $150 for a conversation with a pretty girl.

I think it is his weird concept about romance. He was chatting with the girl because he thought that is the proper procedure to follow for her sake, as ... dumb as that sounds.

I really hope the massage he was talking about was the shoulder rub kind....

 

[Tragi-Chan]

In his own perverse way, he treated this girl better than he treated Catie. Still, poor girl.

Well yeah. This girl was definitely going to give him china.

In an effort to momentarily ignore some of the more horrifying and facepalm-inducing parts of this story, it strikes me that he appears to have spent a significant portion of his time just talking with the escort instead of spending the entire time having sex. I'm sure some degree of that could be a result of his surprisingly low sex drive (or so many have suggested), and now that he had his trophy, there was no need to go again -- but I also wonder if he just really is so desperate for people to talk to beyond Barb that he'd happily pay $150 for a conversation with a pretty girl.

He was a virgin, past his sexual peak age-wise, and generally very unfit. I don't want to think about this too hard, but I doubt he'd have been able to make a second round within the hour.