Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Miller]

directed by a Rian Johnson who has taken some criticism to heart

I don't think he is the type of director who can admit that he went too far in a few places. He's more like the guy who will say "I don't care, LOL" followed by a horrible laugh.

almost made me think I was watching one of his videos.

HackFraudMedia is a good alternative to Mike's Plinkett since he has lost his mojo.

 

[Tookie]

I don't think he is the type of director who can admit that he went too far in a few places. He's more like the guy who will say "I don't care, LOL" followed by a horrible laugh.

He definitely is, which is too bad because I think he has potential if he would tone it down and take some constructive criticism.

 

[That Chris Guy]

First, with Rey. The scavenger on a junk planet thing is fine. Maybe make it a more interesting one than Not-Tatooine. Ord Mantell is 100 percent canon based on its mention in ESB. The parents mystery needs a better payoff than "lol they're nobodies". We also need some kind of foreshadowing on her being force-sensitive. Little things like maybe pulling the lightsaber out of the sand in a callback to Luke pulling his saber out of the snow on Hoth. We also need a setup for why she's a decent pilot. Maybe have her flying a cobbled together Skyhopper instead of a boxy, ugly speeder bike.

I don't think it's actually necessary to hint at her being Force-sensitive personally, as doing so is much too "on the nose". It's been a while, yet I don't recall Luke or even Anakin having such moments either: Luke didn't show any promise until his session with the training droid , and Anakin was recognised by Qui-Gon Jinn and later the Jedi Council. In both cases, their abilities lie dormant until they are brought to the surface by a professional who has an innate understanding of the Force. I believe this fashion can be continued, and she does not need to have ESB-Luke levels by default.

One separate element I thought of was that if Luke was a better venerated historical figure, she could have been shown as taking a firm interest in his character, which would give her a more personal connection if she still chances upon Luke's lightsaber. It would also be an interesting contrast to have both her and Kylo being drawn to these relics of the past (In Kylo's case, the Darth Vader mask).

 

[Flexo]

Let's think about it. The Last Jedi is a symptom of a problem: that the Force Awakens didn't have a coherent vision or proper setups for its characters to begin with. I'm gonna pull out my Autism hat and outline a few ideas for how the first film could have better established the new characters and their relationships with the old ones. I'm not even gonna fall back on characters from the Old EU I so massively prefer. I'll try to preserve the starting point of each of the characters as they are at the beginning of TFA.

Partially. But part of the problem is that TLJ shit all over what TFA did set up in the first place.

First, with Rey. The scavenger on a junk planet thing is fine. Maybe make it a more interesting one than Not-Tatooine. Ord Mantell is 100 percent canon based on its mention in ESB. The parents mystery needs a better payoff than "lol they're nobodies". We also need some kind of foreshadowing on her being force-sensitive. Little things like maybe pulling the lightsaber out of the sand in a callback to Luke pulling his saber out of the snow on Hoth. We also need a setup for why she's a decent pilot. Maybe have her flying a cobbled together Skyhopper instead of a boxy, ugly speeder bike.

Then we have Finn. Since the writers are hell-bent on the First Order being representative of everything Hollywood neoliberalism hates, let's say that instead of being commanded by Captain Phasma that the stormtrooper corps is entirely staffed by male soldiers. Maybe instead of getting involved in combat- the only concept he's really known his whole life- and being appalled by it, he's about to kill Rey but instead wants to make her his waifu. So his comedy isn't "lol look at this dumbass" it's a guy completely out of his element dealing with a world he has no experience with understanding.

And how about Poe? Give the guy some scenes with his fellow pilots that establish that he's popular with them but not with high command due to taking unneccessary risks. Give him a reason for taking those unnecessary risks. Take some inspiration from Dash Rendar. At the start of the story he's no friend of the Empire due to them ruining his family after his brother crashed into some thing the Emperor owned. During the Suprosa heist he blames himself for getting some of the Bothan Y-Wing pilots killed. From here he ping pongs between depression and having a death wish, ultimately culminating in what we could interpret as him sacrificing himself during the Skyhook battle. Give us some characterization.

And then there's Snoke and Kylo. We don't have to know about Snoke that much- he can be in the background with Kylo acting as his agent. Kylo can still be Han and Leia's son. But give us some reasons he's such a bag of dicks. He's just got the Dark Side in him and is evil? We know Anakin turned to the Dark Side through a fear of loss. He grew up a slave and then became a space knight that probably had to deal with trying to keep up with Jedi that had been training longer than he had and felt like he was being judged by a different standard. Visions of his pregnant wife dying and the promise of being able to prevent it drove him over the edge. Kylo is an emo edgy guy we don't know much about. Was there a lot of marital strife between Han and Leia? Was Kylo a nice guy that got pissed off when Stacy friendzoned him for Chad? I guess we didn't know much about Vader in the OT, but considering Kylo's parents and teachers we should explore that more.

Maybe Kylo Ren is reappearing after a long period of radio silence, and that's what causes Han and Leia to take notice. Maybe instead of having Kylo kill Han as a shocker in the 3rd act, Han flies to Luke's hiding place on Leia's suggestion and reunites with his old friend to try to convince him to rejoin the rebellion and train Rey. It could have been a nice reunion for the three of them. Maybe Rey and Finn and Poe see them reminiscing and recalling their old adventures and the bonds of friendship they built. They ask Threepio "Have they always been like that?" and giving a negative response calling back to when they initially met. Hell, maybe have Artoo and Threepio as kind of revered chroniclers and storytellers instead of still being working droids.

We can still have Han die, but I feel he should die with the Millenium Falcon. How many legacy items does Rey need? She has Anakin/Luke's lightsaber. Isn't that enough of a link to the OT? As I said earlier, if you have to have Starkiller base, maybe have Han die taking down TIEs in the battle. Have Kylo shoot him down, even, but let him go down with his ship.

These are just a few spitballed ideas for how they could have worked with the concepts.

Wait... that sounds familiar...

Are you this nerd?

I saw Mortal Engines the other night, and went to check its various internet scores afterward. There's a stark contrast between it and all the recent trash shat out by Disney. It isn't a great movie, but it was better than the recent Star Wars disasters, had all the stronk womyn and token minorities, and at least made better use of them than Disney has. However, it got bad ratings across the board, and I didn't see any of the usual ferocious assmad shills.
I wonder what could possibly account for the way Disney-backed films gain unearned praise, and an army of angry shills, while similar films that are of equal or better quality do not. It is a mystery.

Mortal Engines did have some great production design. But you could tell it was from a YA novel that could use like a netflix series to explore some of its ideas rather than trying to cram everything into a movie.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like every film today is based on the first draft of the script. Nobody's taking the time to polish & refine things any more. You look up behind-the-scenes on Star Wars and Back to the Future (and more) and all of them are on record as having gone through multiple drafts of the script to get everything just right.

 

[That Chris Guy]

We know Anakin turned to the Dark Side through a fear of loss. He grew up a slave and then became a space knight that probably had to deal with trying to keep up with Jedi that had been training longer than he had and felt like he was being judged by a different standard. Visions of his pregnant wife dying and the promise of being able to prevent it drove him over the edge.

He also lost his mother - the most important person in his life until the Jedi came knocking - which further reinforces him wanting to protect Padme.

 

[Judge Holden]

He also lost his mother - the most important person in his life until the Jedi came knocking - which further reinforces him wanting to protect Padme.

Bit of a tangent but it probably would have saved on prequel trilogy plot idiocy if the tattoine arc of Phantom Menace ended with Darth Maul killing Anakin's mother in front of him, and thus giving him a halfway good reason to be giving off bad vibes to yoda and co in the jedi temple as well as explaining his obsession with becoming strong enough to protect those he loves.

 

[Flexo]

Bit of a tangent but it probably would have saved on prequel trilogy plot idiocy if the tattoine arc of Phantom Menace ended with Darth Maul killing Anakin's mother in front of him, and thus giving him a halfway good reason to be giving off bad vibes to yoda and co in the jedi temple.

Or like SFDebris pointed out: use a structure like Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade. Show Anakin forced to leave his mom when 8 (or like you suggested - have Maul kill her in front of him) for about the first 30 min of the move, then TIME SKIP to some years later and show an older Anakin beginning his journey.

 

[Red Hood]

He also lost his mother - the most important person in his life until the Jedi came knocking - which further reinforces him wanting to protect Padme.

I meant to add that in- that losing his mother drove him nuts enough to butcher an entire village of sand people foreshadowing his fall in a clumsy and ham handed way. So what the hell is Kylo's problem? People don't just "go bad". Please tell me Disney isn't planning a prequel trilogy to the sequel trilogy.

Partially. But part of the problem is that TLJ shit all over what TFA did set up in the first place.



Wait... that sounds familiar...

Are you this nerd?

Mortal Engines did have some great production design. But you could tell it was from a YA novel that could use like a netflix series to explore some of its ideas rather than trying to cram everything into a movie.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like every film today is based on the first draft of the script. Nobody's taking the time to polish & refine things any more. You look up behind-the-scenes on Star Wars and Back to the Future (and more) and all of them are on record as having gone through multiple drafts of the script to get everything just right.

Not my work, no, but I'm sure none of my 3am ideas are new or original.

 

[That Chris Guy]

I meant to add that in- that losing his mother drove him nuts enough to butcher an entire village of sand people foreshadowing his fall in a clumsy and ham handed way. So what the hell is Kylo's problem? People don't just "go bad". Please tell me Disney isn't planning a prequel trilogy to the sequel trilogy.

They think Luke wanting to euthanise him before he turned evil (which appears to stupidly be the catalyst anyway) was reason enough. You know, you don't just end up hating the man who tried to do it or attempt to reason with him, have to enact genocide on everyone.

 

[Iceland Heavy]

I don't think he is the type of director who can admit that he went too far in a few places. He's more like the guy who will say "I don't care, LOL" followed by a horrible laugh.

IIRC (he might have deleted it now, but I definitely remember seeing it at one point) he did tweet something like this early on right after TLJ's release, that the backlash made him wonder if he had indeed gone too far in a few places for a little bit, but the outpour of support he got from shills fans reassured him he hadn't, with the general tone being that he was wrong for thinking he'd done anything wrong in the first place. So maybe you could get some real introspection out of him if you took him out of his twitter hugbox but as long as he's in there he's got too many people telling him his shit doesn't stink.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Let's think about it. The Last Jedi is a symptom of a problem: that the Force Awakens didn't have a coherent vision or proper setups for its characters to begin with. I'm gonna pull out my Autism hat and outline a few ideas for how the first film could have better established the new characters and their relationships with the old ones. I'm not even gonna fall back on characters from the Old EU I so massively prefer. I'll try to preserve the starting point of each of the characters as they are at the beginning of TFA.

First, with Rey. The scavenger on a junk planet thing is fine. Maybe make it a more interesting one than Not-Tatooine. Ord Mantell is 100 percent canon based on its mention in ESB. The parents mystery needs a better payoff than "lol they're nobodies". We also need some kind of foreshadowing on her being force-sensitive. Little things like maybe pulling the lightsaber out of the sand in a callback to Luke pulling his saber out of the snow on Hoth. We also need a setup for why she's a decent pilot. Maybe have her flying a cobbled together Skyhopper instead of a boxy, ugly speeder bike.

Then we have Finn. Since the writers are hell-bent on the First Order being representative of everything Hollywood neoliberalism hates, let's say that instead of being commanded by Captain Phasma that the stormtrooper corps is entirely staffed by male soldiers. Maybe instead of getting involved in combat- the only concept he's really known his whole life- and being appalled by it, he's about to kill Rey but instead wants to make her his waifu. So his comedy isn't "lol look at this dumbass" it's a guy completely out of his element dealing with a world he has no experience with understanding.

And how about Poe? Give the guy some scenes with his fellow pilots that establish that he's popular with them but not with high command due to taking unneccessary risks. Give him a reason for taking those unnecessary risks. Take some inspiration from Dash Rendar. At the start of the story he's no friend of the Empire due to them ruining his family after his brother crashed into some thing the Emperor owned. During the Suprosa heist he blames himself for getting some of the Bothan Y-Wing pilots killed. From here he ping pongs between depression and having a death wish, ultimately culminating in what we could interpret as him sacrificing himself during the Skyhook battle. Give us some characterization.

And then there's Snoke and Kylo. We don't have to know about Snoke that much- he can be in the background with Kylo acting as his agent. Kylo can still be Han and Leia's son. But give us some reasons he's such a bag of dicks. He's just got the Dark Side in him and is evil? We know Anakin turned to the Dark Side through a fear of loss. He grew up a slave and then became a space knight that probably had to deal with trying to keep up with Jedi that had been training longer than he had and felt like he was being judged by a different standard. Visions of his pregnant wife dying and the promise of being able to prevent it drove him over the edge. Kylo is an emo edgy guy we don't know much about. Was there a lot of marital strife between Han and Leia? Was Kylo a nice guy that got pissed off when Stacy friendzoned him for Chad? I guess we didn't know much about Vader in the OT, but considering Kylo's parents and teachers we should explore that more.

Maybe Kylo Ren is reappearing after a long period of radio silence, and that's what causes Han and Leia to take notice. Maybe instead of having Kylo kill Han as a shocker in the 3rd act, Han flies to Luke's hiding place on Leia's suggestion and reunites with his old friend to try to convince him to rejoin the rebellion and train Rey. It could have been a nice reunion for the three of them. Maybe Rey and Finn and Poe see them reminiscing and recalling their old adventures and the bonds of friendship they built. They ask Threepio "Have they always been like that?" and giving a negative response calling back to when they initially met. Hell, maybe have Artoo and Threepio as kind of revered chroniclers and storytellers instead of still being working droids.

We can still have Han die, but I feel he should die with the Millenium Falcon. How many legacy items does Rey need? She has Anakin/Luke's lightsaber. Isn't that enough of a link to the OT? As I said earlier, if you have to have Starkiller base, maybe have Han die taking down TIEs in the battle. Have Kylo shoot him down, even, but let him go down with his ship.

These are just a few spitballed ideas for how they could have worked with the concepts.

I think everything was in place to where to take the story and Force Awakens could have been excused as a pipe-laying movie (screenwriting term where shit is done just to set up the plot and characters). The problem is that they went with Rian Johnson who decided to be a contrarian faggot about the whole thing.

I forget if the point was made in part 1 or 2 but Abrams ends Force Awakens with Luke dressed exactly like a Jedi. But Johnson does the little Lightsaber gag and then immediately cuts to Luke getting out of the robes and dressing in black.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Just like the best heroes have vices that they struggle with, so to do the villains have virtues. And not just a beloved pet or child, but something at their core which shows the audience that had things been different, this character could have made a great hero.

The best villains are those that make the viewers go "I actually can relate to this to some extend". It makes for much more interesting villains and it also makes them a bigger threat. The Empire was a mighty force that would fuck your shit up in no time if you screwed up by getting caught. The First Order is a bunch of incompetent clowns and the meter maids of Canton Bight are a bigger threat than Hux and his iTroopers.
The heroes aren't heroic if the villains aren't a threat.

I forget if the point was made in part 1 or 2 but Abrams ends Force Awakens with Luke dressed exactly like a Jedi. But Johnson does the little Lightsaber gag and then immediately cuts to Luke getting out of the robes and dressing in black.

Something that I never gave much a thought, since I barely noticed it, but now that I did... it just shows how disjointed the two movies are from one another. There is no reason for Luke to randomly switch into and out of his Jedi Master robe, if this is supposed to happen within the same continuity. It's obvious that one set up the big reveal of Luke, so he'd do shit in the next movie and then someone invalidated it for no other reason than to giggle to himself like a cockmongler chanting "Subversion, subversion" to himself.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

Partially. But part of the problem is that TLJ shit all over what TFA did set up in the first place.



Wait... that sounds familiar...

Are you this nerd?

Mortal Engines did have some great production design. But you could tell it was from a YA novel that could use like a netflix series to explore some of its ideas rather than trying to cram everything into a movie.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like every film today is based on the first draft of the script. Nobody's taking the time to polish & refine things any more. You look up behind-the-scenes on Star Wars and Back to the Future (and more) and all of them are on record as having gone through multiple drafts of the script to get everything just right.

Yeah, the scenes and flow of the stories aren't tight anymore. And it's like nobody involved can even tell when a scene or whole segment of the film doesn't work. It used to be that only D-level MST3K type films had scenes that didn't make logical sense, or failed to convey what the director intended. Mortal Engines needed a whole movie just to adequately resolve the Terminator plot without turning it into a frustrating diversion from the main story.

 

[CWCissey]

Just think I should share this here. @TheImportantFart presents a hilarious Star Wars sperg.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/personal-lolcows.463/post-4546310

 

[neverendingmidi]

Just think I should share this here. @TheImportantFart presents a hilarious Star Wars sperg.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/personal-lolcows.463/post-4546310

Ah yes, the Rufus saga. That's classic.

 

[Raging Capybara]

HackFraudMedia has released his 3-hour review of TLJ.

It's a good review but too political for my tastes.

The E;R review is still the best for various reasons:

1 - It's hilarious, that's the whole point of these videos, right? The movie is garbage and we know that, so let's laugh at all this mess at least.
2 - It's short, one hour and it's done. No boring ramblings.
3 - Everybody knows he is (a nazy and) an impressively talented editor. Nobody can match his skills in editing, maybe RLM.


This Plinkett impersonator (really good one btw) spent too much time talking about feminism and all this boring shit. I almost did a facepalm when he put a fucking Jordan Peterson clip on it, C'mon, dude. But the review was funny anyway and with consistent and good criticisms, It only should be shorter and without the king of the lobsters featured on it.

My favorite part was the definition of Mary Sue by TV Tropes. I had to check it myself later to see if it was true indeed and not a montage. it's the most precise definition of Rey I have ever seen, word by word. Hilarious.

 

[DogEatDogFood]

It's a good review but too political for my tastes.

The E;R review is still the best for various reasons:

1 - It's hilarious, that's the whole point of these videos, right? The movie is garbage and we know that, so let's laugh at all this mess at least.
2 - It's short, one hour and it's done. No boring ramblings.
3 - Everybody knows he is (a nazy and) an impressively talented editor. Nobody can match his skills in editing, maybe RLM.


This Plinkett impersonator (really good one btw) spent too much time talking about feminism and all this boring shit. I almost did a facepalm when he put a fucking Jordan Peterson clip on it, C'mon, dude. But the review was funny anyway and with consistent and good criticisms, It only should be shorter and without the king of the lobsters featured on it.

My favorite part was the definition of Mary Sue by TV Tropes. I had to check it myself later to see if it was true indeed and not a montage. it's the most precise definition of Rey I have ever seen, word by word. Hilarious.

E;R for the lulz and MauLer for a deep breakdown of everything wrong with it

 

[Absolutego]

HackFraudMedia has released his 3-hour review of TLJ.

Is this seriously an entire channel dedicated to making Plinkett knockoff videos solely about Disney Star Wars because the user thinks RedLetterMedia didn't go hard enough on them?
How embarrassing!

 

[Flexo]

It's a good review but too political for my tastes.

The E;R review is still the best for various reasons:

1 - It's hilarious, that's the whole point of these videos, right? The movie is garbage and we know that, so let's laugh at all this mess at least.
2 - It's short, one hour and it's done. No boring ramblings.
3 - Everybody knows he is (a nazy and) an impressively talented editor. Nobody can match his skills in editing, maybe RLM.


This Plinkett impersonator (really good one btw) spent too much time talking about feminism and all this boring shit. I almost did a facepalm when he put a fucking Jordan Peterson clip on it, C'mon, dude. But the review was funny anyway and with consistent and good criticisms, It only should be shorter and without the king of the lobsters featured on it.

My favorite part was the definition of Mary Sue by TV Tropes. I had to check it myself later to see if it was true indeed and not a montage. it's the most precise definition of Rey I have ever seen, word by word. Hilarious.

Avoiding feminism while talking about TLJ is like analyzing a car wreck without bringing up the alcohol the driver was drinking.

It's the same problem that hinders Christian films - they get more concerned about what follows good doctrine than what makes a good story. TLJ is exactly the same, just with a different religion.

 

[Miller]

Is this seriously an entire channel dedicated to making Plinkett knockoff videos solely about Disney Star Wars because the user thinks RedLetterMedia didn't go hard enough on them?
How embarrassing!

So far he has been doing a better job than RLM.