Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[CWCissey]

So, speaking of time travel...let's say someone rigs up a Kiwi Time machine. How do we prevent Lucas selling his property to the White Slavers?

We release the memes earlier and ensure the appreciation of the Prequels before Lucas sells the rights out of disappointment.

 

[A Useless Fish]

So, speaking of time travel...let's say someone rigs up a Kiwi Time machine. How do we prevent Lucas selling his property to the White Slavers?

We send a crack team of the most autistic Kiwis back to kill him, and then pretend to be him. Instead of selling to Disney, we just make our fucking own movies, letting the pent up autism flow through us and into a newer, superior franchise!

Normal people would probably think they're shit, but it really isn't like any of us could possibly do a worse job than Disney.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Apparently Bryan edit: Johnson Young end edit of the Star Wars Story Group doxed a Twitter Star Wars cynic going by the handle Ruin Johnson@RuinTheManbaby. At any rate the account is now on protected status.

https://twitter.com/Dataracer117/status/1114269854645645312

http://archive.li/0KkYL

This goes back a few days, but I didn't see it previously posted in the thread. I've also not seen the expected bunch of sperg worthy videos from the usual suspects. I guess they're all too busy getting ready for the Star Wars Celebration or something.


Protected account, don't think I can archive or link to.

I haven't really been following this, so if stuff like the guy's name and address was truly posted I've not seen it.

Edit: EVS streamed about it last night. Somehow I missed it.

 

[Creep3r]

Apparently Bryan edit: Johnson Young end edit of the Star Wars Story Group doxed a Twitter Star Wars cynic going by the handle Ruin Johnson@RuinTheManbaby. At any rate the account is now on protected status.

https://twitter.com/Dataracer117/status/1114269854645645312

http://archive.li/0KkYL

This goes back a few days, but I didn't see it previously posted in the thread. I've also not seen the expected bunch of sperg worthy videos from the usual suspects. I guess they're all too busy getting ready for the Star Wars Celebration or something.

View attachment 717287
Protected account, don't think I can archive or link to.

I haven't really been following this, so if stuff like the guy's name and address was truly posted I've not seen it.

Edit: EVS streamed about it last night. Somehow I missed it.

Lucasfilm is so fucking pathetic that they have to start doxing fans just to shut up criticism. This is far from professional behavior and its just beyond fucking sickening. I can barely muster anger, just a lot of disgust and disappointment. Its like Kennedy picked the worst people imaginable to run the story group. And all of this is only made worse by the lack of people talking about it. Hell this is scummier than what they did to StarWarsTheory.

 

[Antipathy]

Lucasfilm is so fucking pathetic that they have to start doxing fans just to shut up criticism. This is far from professional behavior and its just beyond fucking sickening. I can barely muster anger, just a lot of disgust and disappointment. Its like Kennedy picked the worst people imaginable to run the story group. And all of this is only made worse by the lack of people talking about it. Hell this is scummier than what they did to StarWarsTheory.

Wasn't StarWarsTheory the one that made that fan thing with Disney's permission, and then they basically ransomed him and forced him to monetize it for them?

 

[Red Hood]

Lucasfilm is so fucking pathetic that they have to start doxing fans just to shut up criticism. This is far from professional behavior and its just beyond fucking sickening. I can barely muster anger, just a lot of disgust and disappointment. Its like Kennedy picked the worst people imaginable to run the story group. And all of this is only made worse by the lack of people talking about it. Hell this is scummier than what they did to StarWarsTheory.

My new favorite thing about George Lucas is that he didn't dox the fanboys even at their worst.

 

[Tookie]

I hope the Knights of Ren turn out to be alternate versions of Emo Ren from different timelines which implies some ridiculous "crossover" multiverse/timeline war for the finale of IX. That would just make everything so perfect in terms of clusterfuckery

That would be so absurd it would be entertaining so it won't happen. This is JJ Abrams so we'll get some poorly defined "Jedi eater" that could very well end up being the black smoke monster from Lost. There might be some vague implication of time travel or something very Cosmic and Profound™ surrounding it but there will be no explanation beyond that because it will be another empty "mystery box" from a hack fraud.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Does this mean time travel bullshit is finally confirmed? I hope the Knights of Ren turn out to be alternate versions of Emo Ren from different timelines which implies some ridiculous "crossover" multiverse/timeline war for the finale of IX. That would just make everything so perfect in terms of clusterfuckery.

Oh god, it would be so great, we could watch the bonfires of this shitstorm for years!

I halfway expect Rey to enter some state of Jedi transcension, floating in a giant void of weird shapes and lights and then we see her do her "I'm acting"-face (y'know, this one) as she watches a tiny X-Wing shaped light fly through the trench of a giant sphere towards a tiny hole and then she motions her arms to make two small globes of light emitted by the X-Wing shape change course, so they enter the tiny hole and blow up the big sphere with the trench. Or, in other words, we find out Rey is the "Force" that made the Photon Torpedos enter the exhaust port of the Death Star, just as a final Fuck You towards Hamill and Luke.

It's also going to be a fucking riot to watch the movie mention things in a way that they get poorly established retroactively.
I expect them to have a scene of Kylo talking to the Knights of Ren, word for word, "I see you have returned from the mission I send you before Starkiller Base was destroyed, have you found what I told you to look for?", just so we get a poor explanation where they were.
Or the Jedi Eater, that will pop up and they will awkwardly pretend it was always part of the threat (like they poorly tie it back to Snoke or whatever).
Similarly with "The Beyond", something that has never popped up anywhere at any time, which they will now pull out of their ass and attempt to make it look relevant to the plot up till now.
And let's not forget this new hinted at McGuffin that might be a time portal space anus, that they might shove into this movie.

Most of this crap (if it turns out to be true) will blindside the shit out of people.

This is the last part of the trilogy and it has to set up things, just so the movie actually has anywhere to go. Usually, this kind of crap gets established in the first movie, is then further explored in the second, and concluded in the third, but we don't have anything like that thanks to TLJ being the movie equivalent of someone smashing a window.
The last part of the trilogy has to invent a plot from scratch and somehow tie it back to the first movie, which was invalidated (dare I say subverted?) by the second.

 

[vertexwindi]

Normal people would probably think they're shit, but it really isn't like any of us could possibly do a worse job than Disney.

I dunno, I've seen some ideas in this thread that are good enough to make me wonder why a big multi-million dollar company like Disney can't think of them.

 

[Miller]

HackFraudMedia has released his 3-hour review of TLJ.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Apparently Bryan edit: Johnson Young end edit of the Star Wars Story Group doxed a Twitter Star Wars cynic going by the handle Ruin Johnson@RuinTheManbaby. At any rate the account is now on protected status.

I screwed up here. Bryan Johnson is not in the Star Wars Story Group. He is a writer for Starwars.com. Still working for a Disney owned website, etc., but hardly as prominent a role. Sorry about that.

 

[Miller]

Yeah he's on the same level as Geek Girl Diva (who seemed ready to take pics of people at SW Celebration to dox them).

 

[Red Hood]

I screwed up here. Bryan Johnson is not in the Star Wars Story Group. He is a writer for Starwars.com. Still working for a Disney owned website, etc., but hardly as prominent a role. Sorry about that.

Not to be confused with Brian Johnson, long time singer for AC/DC. Who could probably write a better Star Wars story. Or maybe I just think Angus Young would be great as a mo-capped Austr-alien.

Yeah he's on the same level as Geek Girl Diva (who seemed ready to take pics of people at SW Celebration to dox them).

Begun, the Shill Wars have.

 

[BrunoMattei]

HackFraudMedia has released his 3-hour review of TLJ.

This was surprisingly really good. Fantastic editing and points being made.

 

[Vault Boy]

This was surprisingly really good. Fantastic editing and points being made.

Dude also did a very nice Mr. Plinkett impersonation, almost made me think I was watching on of his videos.

Oh, and that snipe at Bob Chipman at the beginning was hilarious.

 

[Flexo]

This was surprisingly really good. Fantastic editing and points being made.

I'm just glad to finally see somebody going over how rich people are NOT going to abuse animals they have invested thousands of dollars in.

That's what bugs me most about these idiots. That "teh evil bois" have to be cartoonishly evil. That they can have NO redeeming qualities about them.

That just isn't possible. Whatever else you might say about Vader, we saw that he was courageous and willing to put himself on the front lines to get shit done in the first film. Even choke a bitch out for heresy in a room full of atheists (so not caring about peer pressure). Hell, compared to Holdo even the Emperor was willing to tell his underlings his plans. From what we saw, he even respected the chain of command and wouldn't belittle a higher officer in front of the underlings.

Even Kahn from Trek was loyal, brilliant, and brave.

Just like the best heroes have vices that they struggle with, so to do the villains have virtues. And not just a beloved pet or child, but something at their core which shows the audience that had things been different, this character could have made a great hero.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Dude also did a very nice Mr. Plinkett impersonation, almost made me think I was watching on of his videos.

Oh, and that snipe at Bob Chipman at the beginning was hilarious.

I've seen quite a few video essays on Last Jedi and I think this guy may have done the best one. Previously, I thought the Plinkett and E R one's were about even with each other.

 

[Red Hood]

Let's think about it. The Last Jedi is a symptom of a problem: that the Force Awakens didn't have a coherent vision or proper setups for its characters to begin with. I'm gonna pull out my Autism hat and outline a few ideas for how the first film could have better established the new characters and their relationships with the old ones. I'm not even gonna fall back on characters from the Old EU I so massively prefer. I'll try to preserve the starting point of each of the characters as they are at the beginning of TFA.

First, with Rey. The scavenger on a junk planet thing is fine. Maybe make it a more interesting one than Not-Tatooine. Ord Mantell is 100 percent canon based on its mention in ESB. The parents mystery needs a better payoff than "lol they're nobodies". We also need some kind of foreshadowing on her being force-sensitive. Little things like maybe pulling the lightsaber out of the sand in a callback to Luke pulling his saber out of the snow on Hoth. We also need a setup for why she's a decent pilot. Maybe have her flying a cobbled together Skyhopper instead of a boxy, ugly speeder bike.

Then we have Finn. Since the writers are hell-bent on the First Order being representative of everything Hollywood neoliberalism hates, let's say that instead of being commanded by Captain Phasma that the stormtrooper corps is entirely staffed by male soldiers. Maybe instead of getting involved in combat- the only concept he's really known his whole life- and being appalled by it, he's about to kill Rey but instead wants to make her his waifu. So his comedy isn't "lol look at this dumbass" it's a guy completely out of his element dealing with a world he has no experience with understanding.

And how about Poe? Give the guy some scenes with his fellow pilots that establish that he's popular with them but not with high command due to taking unneccessary risks. Give him a reason for taking those unnecessary risks. Take some inspiration from Dash Rendar. At the start of the story he's no friend of the Empire due to them ruining his family after his brother crashed into some thing the Emperor owned. During the Suprosa heist he blames himself for getting some of the Bothan Y-Wing pilots killed. From here he ping pongs between depression and having a death wish, ultimately culminating in what we could interpret as him sacrificing himself during the Skyhook battle. Give us some characterization.

And then there's Snoke and Kylo. We don't have to know about Snoke that much- he can be in the background with Kylo acting as his agent. Kylo can still be Han and Leia's son. But give us some reasons he's such a bag of dicks. He's just got the Dark Side in him and is evil? We know Anakin turned to the Dark Side through a fear of loss. He grew up a slave and then became a space knight that probably had to deal with trying to keep up with Jedi that had been training longer than he had and felt like he was being judged by a different standard. Visions of his pregnant wife dying and the promise of being able to prevent it drove him over the edge. Kylo is an emo edgy guy we don't know much about. Was there a lot of marital strife between Han and Leia? Was Kylo a nice guy that got pissed off when Stacy friendzoned him for Chad? I guess we didn't know much about Vader in the OT, but considering Kylo's parents and teachers we should explore that more.

Maybe Kylo Ren is reappearing after a long period of radio silence, and that's what causes Han and Leia to take notice. Maybe instead of having Kylo kill Han as a shocker in the 3rd act, Han flies to Luke's hiding place on Leia's suggestion and reunites with his old friend to try to convince him to rejoin the rebellion and train Rey. It could have been a nice reunion for the three of them. Maybe Rey and Finn and Poe see them reminiscing and recalling their old adventures and the bonds of friendship they built. They ask Threepio "Have they always been like that?" and giving a negative response calling back to when they initially met. Hell, maybe have Artoo and Threepio as kind of revered chroniclers and storytellers instead of still being working droids.

We can still have Han die, but I feel he should die with the Millenium Falcon. How many legacy items does Rey need? She has Anakin/Luke's lightsaber. Isn't that enough of a link to the OT? As I said earlier, if you have to have Starkiller base, maybe have Han die taking down TIEs in the battle. Have Kylo shoot him down, even, but let him go down with his ship.

These are just a few spitballed ideas for how they could have worked with the concepts.

 

[Tookie]

Let's think about it. The Last Jedi is a symptom of a problem: that the Force Awakens didn't have a coherent vision or proper setups for its characters to begin with.

This is why I go easier on The Last Jedi than a lot of people. The setup was already fucked in The Force Awakens but TFA tends to get a pass because it was executed competently.

On the whole, I would rather see an Episode IX directed by a Rian Johnson who has taken some criticism to heart than whatever flashy RotJ clone we're going to get from Abrams.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

I saw Mortal Engines the other night, and went to check its various internet scores afterward. There's a stark contrast between it and all the recent trash shat out by Disney. It isn't a great movie, but it was better than the recent Star Wars disasters, had all the stronk womyn and token minorities, and at least made better use of them than Disney has. However, it got bad ratings across the board, and I didn't see any of the usual ferocious assmad shills.
I wonder what could possibly account for the way Disney-backed films gain unearned praise, and an army of angry shills, while similar films that are of equal or better quality do not. It is a mystery.