2019-04-10 DSP Got Married - Replacing the Gorilla Munch mascot put us on the bad timeline.

[Flabba Wabba Jabba]

The marriage won't last. They have no work/life balance and uneasy finances. Dsp is at peak of his income. Even if they inherit like 300k that won't last if they have kids or something. Just being realistic here. When streaming ends? Dsp wont be able to pay the bills. He has no idea how tough the job market is. I bet it is really tough in seattle too.

And what's even funnier is that I have no doubt in my mind that Phil reads all of this, and he knows how fucked he is but just won't accept the fact that he's in such a shit situation because of his own retardation. And then he'll read about how Khet will just divorce his ass when his parents get buried and blame us, the detractors, for causing his marriage to collapse...

 

[N0thingICanDo]

This entire scam trip can be perfectly summarized in 1 sentence by what DSP said in his "return from trip podcast"



"Um....I'll be very honest with you about why I lied......."

 

[Flabba Wabba Jabba]

This entire scam trip can be perfectly summarized in 1 sentence by what DSP said in his "return from trip podcast"



"Um....I'll be very honest with you about why I lied......."

Calling it DSP will commit suicide this year on camera 1 week after his parents die. I'm fucking calling it.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Calling it DSP will commit suicide this year on camera 1 week after his parents die. I'm fucking calling it.

... After the sum total of his full adult inheritance is a single dog-eared paperback copy of "Live Rich, Die Broke".

 

[Adamska]

... After the sum total of his full adult inheritance is a single dog-eared paperback copy of "Live Rich, Die Broke".

Nahh... it's that Wolverine Toy again. The one he screeched about not getting immediately since he had to wait a few months extra to get it. They saved it all that time as a final "Grow up Son" moment.

 

[DuckSucker]

... After the sum total of his full adult inheritance is a single dog-eared paperback copy of "Live Rich, Die Broke".

I mean hey if you dont want kids and youre burning out, I guess thats cool... His problem is that he isnt living rich, he's living extravagantly with just a bunch of dumb shit to show for it. It's not like he's traveling Europe with his wife or anything. He wont lie dying alone at least remembering his wife and the experiences and adventures they had, it's just a bunch of shit and excuses about how he cant go to the grocery store because a fan may be a detractor in disguise trying to kill him and take his bits.

He's not the prodigal son spending his parents money on worthwhile shit; he's just sort of spending it in some benign attempt at keeping up with what he feels like the Joneses are, as other youtubers and streamers. Dudes the epitome of throwing his money around and pretending he has status and roles and shit.

Hell the dude doesnt even eat well, it's overpriced Schwanns shit and TV dinners. Produce that goes bad because he cant or wont cook and neither will she or she's busy; A library of movies, games, music, consumable media he doesnt even care about because of his alcoholic anhedonia. He doesnt really have any taste for or of any of the shit he consumes, be it media or life--he's spending money living but he isnt really living. Dude's life has been and is the epitome of treading water and Im not even sure it's entirely because of finances or bills or anything. Dude's living just to die, not even in a flash of glory but just burn out.

 

[Funko Pops NFT collector]

I mean hey if you dont want kids and youre burning out, I guess thats cool... His problem is that he isnt living rich, he's living extravagantly with just a bunch of dumb shit to show for it. It's not like he's traveling Europe with his wife or anything. He wont lie dying alone at least remembering his wife and the experiences and adventures they had, it's just a bunch of shit and excuses about how he cant go to the grocery store because a fan may be a detractor in disguise trying to kill him and take his bits.

He's not the prodigal son spending his parents money on worthwhile shit; he's just sort of spending it in some benign attempt at keeping up with what he feels like the Joneses are, as other youtubers and streamers. Dudes the epitome of throwing his money around and pretending he has status and roles and shit.

Hell the dude doesnt even eat well, it's overpriced Schwanns shit and TV dinners. Produce that goes bad because he cant or wont cook and neither will she or she's busy; A library of movies, games, music, consumable media he doesnt even care about because of his alcoholic anhedonia. He doesnt really have any taste for or of any of the shit he consumes, be it media or life--he's spending money living but he isnt really living. Dude's life has been and is the epitome of treading water and Im not even sure it's entirely because of finances or bills or anything. Dude's living just to die, not even in a flash of glory but just burn out.

Im of the same mind as you,Phil makes a lot of money and used to make even more,but he does not spend it on things that will give him new experiences or anything worthwile,he is just spending his money on trying to maintain a lifestyle that is above his means because he is a serious adult with a serious mature adult house and mature adults have expensive things.

I think that one of the things that makes Phil a cow is how bad he is with money,I have seen estimates on this website and he makes around 100k a year and he used to make more in the golden years of youtube,Phil has made one millon dollars in the last decade,maybe more,and somehow he is still in debt for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Any normal person in his position would own a house by now and have a lots of savings to prepare for the time the fame runs out.But not our Phil,this lolcow spends his money on things like a 200 dollars trashcan for some reason(someone matched his trashcan that he showed in one video with a 200 dollar trashcan on amazon). He thinks more expensive=better and because he is an overcompensating insecure manchild he belives that spending money on expensive things makes him mature. Guess what Phil,being mature is not about what you own.

He spends all of his money,time and effort in trying to appear adult. Big house that is way too big and expensive for him? Better get into debt and buy it because real adults have big houses. Expensive home appliances and furniture? Gotta have it because real adults have that. Groceries? Mature adults dont go to walmart because thats trashy so better buy the exact same groceries for a higher price. Wife? Sure,real adults get married so he marries Kat even though she has the personality of a cardboard box and would leave him if he loses the house. But all of this does not change the fact that he is a spastic,lying,whiny,narcisistic,selfish and toxic person,Phil no matter what material possesions you migth have that does not stop you from being all the things I mentioned before,buying things will never make you mature. He spends money only on status and it does not even work because everyone thinks he is an inmature manchild.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

I think that one of the things that makes Phil a cow is how bad he is with money,I have seen estimates on this website and he makes around 100k a year and he used to make more in the golden years of youtube,Phil has made one millon dollars in the last decade,maybe more,and somehow he is still in debt for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Any normal person in his position would own a house by now and have a lots of savings to prepare for the time the fame runs out.But not our Phil,this lolcow spends his money on things like a 200 dollars trashcan for some reason(someone matched his trashcan that he showed in one video with a 200 dollar trashcan on amazon). He thinks more expensive=better and because he is an overcompensating insecure manchild he belives that spending money on expensive things makes him mature. Guess what Phil,being mature is not about what you own.

You could say that about a lot of YouTubers and online personalities though. So many of these people don't understand how to manage their income properly. Phil is yet another example.

However, I would say that it's much worse in Phil's case. Given his education and prior work in business, he's one of the few YouTubers who should have had the knowledge to manage their finances properly.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Calling it DSP will commit suicide this year on camera 1 week after his parents die. I'm fucking calling it.

He'll fail because the bullets will lag out and miss.

 

[Kosher Dill]

He'll fail because the bullets will lag out and miss.

He'll empty an entire clip into his feet and then wonder why he didn't die.

 

[Flabba Wabba Jabba]

He'll empty an entire clip into his feet and then wonder why he didn't die.

Or he'll go to blow his brains out, miss and kill Khet and live the rest of his life behind bars with Tyrell

 

[millais]

I think you guys are rather over optimistic. He may not even make it out of the gunshop, being unable to figure out how to purchase the shotgun with the flashlight.

 

[WASR96]

Phil won't buy a gun, he'll pick out something overpriced like a Kimber or someone's decked out AR-15 at the pawn shop, and then when he starts filling out the paperwork for the background check and sees they need his SSN and current address, he'll assume the guy working the gun counter is a dirty detractor who wants his info to screw him over, so he'll walk out empty handed.

Broken gun purchasing mechanics d00d! Nuffin I could do!

 

[ZehnBoat]

Or he'll go to blow his brains out, miss and kill Khet and live the rest of his life behind bars with Tyrell

phil always go through three phases
self-inflicted misfortune
miraculous recovery
someone else gets hit in the end

he would shoot himself
kat would take him to the hospital
and despite all odds would make a complete recovery in record time
also the hospital will have a glitch and his bills will magically disappear
then some random kid who's recovering from cancer the next room down will die in his place as said cancer comes back, and goes malignant and doubles in size in 4 minutes

then phil will bitch about said kids parents on stream crying over their child saying "he had it worse" and "it's good the kid is dead"... and chat will agree

 

[Kosher Dill]

he would shoot himself
kat would take him to the hospital
and despite all odds would make a complete recovery in record time

snort All right, so there I am in the HAAAASpital, right? Haven't eaten in like 3 hours so I'm getting pretty - OK, I got a cheer from "Yu-Ric-Acid_TheKingOfGouts". Let me read this so you can see what kind of fucking MORONS watch this stream. OK? He says "Phil, why didn't Kat bring you some food in the hospital?" Because she COULDN'T, idiot! Mrs. Burnell was working overtime at the Chick-Fil-A and couldn't get out. She says Sunday afternoons are their busiest time so she has to go in and work. Enjoy your lean-in manual ban.

 

[ReentryPhantom]

snort All right, so there I am in the HAAAASpital, right? Haven't eaten in like 3 hours so I'm getting pretty - OK, I got a cheer from "Yu-Ric-Acid_TheKingOfGouts". Let me read this so you can see what kind of fucking MORONS watch this stream. OK? He says "Phil, why didn't Kat bring you some food in the hospital?" Because she COULDN'T, idiot! Mrs. Burnell was working overtime at the Chick-Fil-A and couldn't get out. She says Sunday afternoons are their busiest time so she has to go in and work. Enjoy your lean-in manual ban.

Eye_hayt_knickers just cheered and said "Phil, Chick-Fil-A isn't open on Sundays". Well maybe where you are from, they are closed Sundays but Kat goes to work every Sunday dude, you don't know what you're talking about.

 

[Wurstbrot]

then some random kid who's recovering from cancer the next room down will die in his place as said cancer comes back, and goes malignant and doubles in size in 4 minutes

then phil will bitch about said kids parents on stream crying over their child saying "he had it worse" and "it's good the kid is dead"... and chat will agree

So SNORT INTENSIFIES as you all know, yesterday I was bound in a pahkiulaah situation correlated to my current health problems. This day I NEARLY DIED, and there was nothing I could do, it was compleeeeetely out of my hands, not my fault, not your fault, and for sure not the fault of my wonderful wife Khet Burnell points in her direction.
So handclap what happn? I was in the hospital. nod pause sad look Yes. You heard me. The detractors finally got me and made me very very ill, these sick fucks who enjoy destroying my life even so it's morally illegal, they purposefully attacked my health!

- proceeds with white noise -

I was not alone in my room, can you believe it? In this modern era I had to share a room with someone else, how would I recover when there is this uuuh sick kid who literally - and I repeat - who literally had cancer and was sooo much in hurt that I couldn't even sleep. Huhu! Can you believe that? And this is what they call a modern health system.
Anyway, right this evening this cancer risen kid who won't let me sleep, I kidd you not, wait for it pauses and prepares a pose HE DIED poses huhu! Can you believe that? He died right in my room. I could not believe my eyes. I was like, uuuh, ah mah GAHD clownface.
Could you imagine this was me? What if I am this kid and died on the spot? Can you imagine a world without me and what gets lost? This could be me! These detractors nearly killed me just like this kid, you know what I mean?! You! Yes, yooouuu points at camera.
Amyway and then these doctor guys surrounded him and huuuuuuuh, you now this is just heartbreaking. I needed medical help but he got aaaall the attention. You know, he did this on purpose. Why would he die the exact night I was there? If you think this is a coincidence then FUCK YOURSELF you ignorant troll, the world is not black and white, okay? And I'm not stupid!

-proceeds with insults and white noise-

So you probably wondered what those idiot trolls did to me. You wouldn't believe it, but I was just thinking how to solve my bills and tax problems which are CAUSED BY THE DETRACTORS as I suddenly got dizzy and fell backwards on my couch and hurt my eyeball SO MUCH. OOOOOOUUUH. This was painful! I nearly lost all my eyesight, I had a big scar, the doctors worked three nights and days to fix me!
ThirdEyeTheThird tips 50 bits and says "I can't see any scar and how can you be 1 day gone but they worked 3 days on you? ". Siiigh, of course, I knew trolls would say that. Lean in ban! You know there are people who believe anything I say anyway and then there are idiots, ack ack ack! Enjoy your ban dood.

Anyway, now, listen and hear me out. This operation drained all my reserves and now I have nothing left. For this very reason I will do a marathon this very week where you can support me to let me continue what I love. Sounds good?

Khet: Sounds good to me.

 

[killuminati]

So SNORT INTENSIFIES as you all know, yesterday I was bound in a pahkiulaah situation correlated to my current health problems. This day I NEARLY DIED, and there was nothing I could do, it was compleeeeetely out of my hands, not my fault, not your fault, and for sure not the fault of my wonderful wife Khet Burnell points in her direction.
So handclap what happn? I was in the hospital. nod pause sad look Yes. You heard me. The detractors finally got me and made me very very ill, these sick fucks who enjoy destroying my life even so it's morally illegal, they purposefully attacked my health!

- proceeds with white noise -

I was not alone in my room, can you believe it? In this modern era I had to share a room with someone else, how would I recover when there is this uuuh sick kid who literally - and I repeat - who literally had cancer and was sooo much in hurt that I couldn't even sleep. Huhu! Can you believe that? And this is what they call a modern health system.
Anyway, right this evening this cancer risen kid who won't let me sleep, I kidd you not, wait for it pauses and prepares a pose HE DIED poses huhu! Can you believe that? He died right in my room. I could not believe my eyes. I was like, uuuh, ah mah GAHD clownface.
Could you imagine this was me? What if I am this kid and died on the spot? Can you imagine a world without me and what gets lost? This could be me! These detractors nearly killed me just like this kid, you know what I mean?! You! Yes, yooouuu points at camera.
Amyway and then these doctor guys surrounded him and huuuuuuuh, you now this is just heartbreaking. I needed medical help but he got aaaall the attention. You know, he did this on purpose. Why would he die the exact night I was there? If you think this is a coincidence then FUCK YOURSELF you ignorant troll, the world is not black and white, okay? And I'm not stupid!

-proceeds with insults and white noise-

So you probably wondered what those idiot trolls did to me. You wouldn't believe it, but I was just thinking how to solve my bills and tax problems which are CAUSED BY THE DETRACTORS as I suddenly got dizzy and fell backwards on my couch and hurt my eyeball SO MUCH. OOOOOOUUUH. This was painful! I nearly lost all my eyesight, I had a big scar, the doctors worked three nights and days to fix me!
ThirdEyeTheThird tips 50 bits and says "I can't see any scar and how can you be 1 day gone but they worked 3 days on you? ". Siiigh, of course, I knew trolls would say that. Lean in ban! You know there are people who believe anything I say anyway and then there are idiots, ack ack ack! Enjoy your ban dood.

Anyway, now, listen and hear me out. This operation drained all my reserves and now I have nothing left. For this very reason I will do a marathon this very week where you can support me to let me continue what I love. Sounds good?

Khet: Sounds good to me.

I can actually visualize this entire vlog as I'm reading this. The lip smacks, the water sips; the pauses while he stares at the chat, the bummy-ass t-shirt; fucking everything.

I'm not sure who the delusional one is anymore.

 

[UngaWunga]

I wish Phil and this anthropomorphic tube of mascara he met the best, and I hope he learns that sometimes you have to crouch jump through a lot of hoops to make a relationship work.

 

[ForumGUy]

I'm not sure if anyone made this point but he basically just fucked himself by getting married, especially if she didn't give him a marriage ultimatum (marry me or I'm leaving). He just ensured her a share of 50% of the "marriages" total assets. Considering she came there with pretty much nothing, she came out on top.