Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[Clockwork_PurBle]

A couple years back, my college went on strike. During the last week of it a friend of mine was talking with some other students in a group chat and offhandedly mentioned that someone should organize a protest. Long and short of it was that within the next few hours, he'd gone from bystander to unwilling organizer of a relatively large-scale riot. I was on campus that day to abuse the empty facilities and get some work done, and when I got there I had the pleasure of watching the front entrance get completely blocked by enraged sjw-types standing outside in -20 degree Celsius weather.

What were they protesting? Pronouns?

 

[Lucifer's Rectum]

What were they protesting? Pronouns?

Well, to quote their group post (my buddy ended up sending it to me) they wanted to "show the college that they weren't happy with how they were being treated", as if they were more special than any of the other students that were missing classes cause of a strike.

 

[Muncie Anderson]

Sounds to me like the principal was hot, tired and sick of everyone's BS, too. Might have also been a hollow threat just to get through the day, too. I know one time my principal stooped to eat lunch in the cafeteria with us one day and stood up mid-meal and shouted how she would rather eat in a barn, also seemed a bit much.

Oh, I experienced something like that too, in a different school when I was in second grade. One of the teachers watching us blew a gasket at lunch because there were too many kids chewing with mouths open. Lunch was interrupted for a five minute tirade about "decent table manners" and that anyone from here on caught not having their mouths closed while chewing was going to be in "big trouble". I think there's a time and place to educate kids about what they should and shouldn't do at the table, and it shouldn't be taught by some stressed out teacher who just hit her breaking point in the lunchroom.

This was also the same group of teachers and school employees who would, when we were getting a little too loud in the cafeteria, switch off the lights and order everyone to put their heads down on the table while they went off on a room full of little kids who were doing nothing more than just being kids.

 

[Coolio55]

One time I found a folded piece of paper on the floor. I picked it up and inside was a crude drawing of a girl with pigtails. Here's where it got interesting though. She was wearing a miniskirt and had 2 massive penises. One of them she bent up to her mouth and was drinking the spunk out of.

The worst part was that I left it out on a desk in my house and my mother thought I had drawn it. She didn't believe I found it at school.

 

[PT 940]

Oh, I experienced something like that too, in a different school when I was in second grade. One of the teachers watching us blew a gasket at lunch because there were too many kids chewing with mouths open. Lunch was interrupted for a five minute tirade about "decent table manners" and that anyone from here on caught not having their mouths closed while chewing was going to be in "big trouble". I think there's a time and place to educate kids about what they should and shouldn't do at the table, and it shouldn't be taught by some stressed out teacher who just hit her breaking point in the lunchroom.

This was also the same group of teachers and school employees who would, when we were getting a little too loud in the cafeteria, switch off the lights and order everyone to put their heads down on the table while they went off on a room full of little kids who were doing nothing more than just being kids.

Turning the lights off for a mid-lunch time out was customary at my school as well. It sucked. I definitely think that manners are important but maybe teach kids about it a different time and remind them about it at lunch later instead of trying to teach it then. Lunch at my school was only 20 minutes so letting us doing anything other than eat and talk seemed especially cruel.

 

[Rick Pratt]

I once saw someone drink washing up liquid in my horticulture class back in secondary school, while fairy liquid has a nice smell to it I wouldn't drink it.

 

[UE 558]

There was one time I met a guy on my first week of Community College, let’s call him “Sonicman”. Sonicman was a lanky, tall, Bengali-American majoring in acting. He was confirmed autistic by both himself and his mom and he LOOOOOVED Sonic. As in, the first time I met him and pointed out that Live and Learn was playing on his ipod, he gave me a cringy spiel about how Yuji Naka was a genius and how Sonic was amazing. Man himself was a nice guy, he was just a big autist who REEEEEALLY loved Sanic.

 

[TungstenCarbide]

When I was in middle school, our PE teacher had to go on sick leave (she was over 60, that fucking woman was a piece of steel, but one day her knees just gave up), so for a few month we had a substitute, I'll call him Sam, a young male teacher that took sports very seriously. One of my friends fell in love with him, she was like a lovesick puppy, but nobody thought twice about that infatuation. Then she comes to me and she's like: "Hey Tungsten, do your parents check your mail?" and I asked her why. She confessed that she wanted to write to Sam, who had just finished his work at our school. He apparently gave her his address and everything. I told her that I wouldn't do that for her and to ask somebody else. In another occasion I heard her tell another friend that she continued meeting Sam, and that he wanted to pursue a relationship with her, but not when he was still married ad she was a minor. I still think about it now, but I don't understand if she was living an elaborate fantasy (girl was weird, after all), or if she was being groomed by a pedo.

 

[edibleBulimia]

Some kid punched me in the computer lab and when we were in the way to the Principal’s office, we realized we had a lot in common. We developed a friendship kinda quickly, as we both had annoying siblings, both liked Naruto and loved rock and roll.
We had to part ways and stopped talking. I still think about him sometimes.

 

[Berserker Armor]

im about to graduate (yay class of 2019 whatever). here is a few high lights.

my art teacher told me to look at her and i looked up and she was holding a piece of paper with a ok hand on it. she looked at me and said "i got you!". she then spent the rest of the day doing it to people.

my home ec teacher lets me do whatever i want since she learned that i am the only senior who can cook after a kid in my period almost set the mircowave on fire. so now i keep kool aid in her fridge.

i hit a girl in the head with a sharpie when she kept asking for one despite being able to get one from the art closet and my art teacher just told me "nice shot"

i took many naps in the art closet.

before christmas break my friend chopped up a candy cane at lunch and snorted it. later in the day he had a nose bleed and i watched him walk down the hall with his shirt over his face without his shirt on, he stopped and gave me a thumbs up with a shit eating grin. i was more confused as to why he took his shirt off. then again. i dont question much with him.

around the same time he also stole a camera from the STEM room and was telling people the photos were "for the year book" and there was a photo of me glaring in the background at lunch and he told me it would be the one photo i would have in the year book. none of the photos really made it. there was also one of me flipping the camera off so.

same friend got busted for minecraft crimes aka sending more people the long chain email of the cracked minecraft download. some freshmen got ahold of it and the STEM teacher went off on him.

my brother almost got the STEM teacher in trouble by along with my cousin putting "bush did 9/11" and "virginity rocks" on the projector on the ceiling without him knowing. his bosses saw it but he doesnt know it was them.

my math teacher openly let us roast a girl in my class who wouldn't shut up about her prison boyfriend. i kept laughing at her and she wants to fight but the same day she broke her hand on a locker door.

there was a boujee fight on my bus one morning. we had to get on another bus due to our bus being late. a girl from my bus started going back and forth with a girl whos known for trying to fight every one. i was sitting with a little girl from the catholic school since the public school busses pick them up for the catholic school in my town. the fight broke out while we were on the road to the school. the little girl next to me went from singing church music to crying her eyes out. my brother was in the seat behind me and the fight got into his seat. the girl was getting her ass BEAT so bad that her nose was bloody. the girl was jumping on the seat and kicking her in the face while someone held her back. my brother legit pushed the girl back so the bleeding girl could move. the fight almost went into my seat (note: still had a screaming lil girl with me and both girls were minors so legally i could not hit them even tho i wanted to.) and i had to push them away as i already had all of my body guarding the little girl in my seat. the girls brother then ran up to my brother and tried to fight him. "dont touch my fucking sister." isnt a very good thing to say when your sister was beating up on a girl. my brother later found blood on his hoodie. told me he might get aids.

a girl who was into my brother for a while got her car searched at school because someone said she had beer in her trunk.

i publicly exposed a football player for trying to get me to do his homework, asked him for money if he wanted me to do it so and then 3 weeks later he got suspended from wrestling and basketball because of his grades. he stopped after i asked him for money and his mom took his jeep so.

my english teacher legit speaks in riddles. i am somehow have a A+ in her class. everyone else is failing. its the end of the year and im still getting asked to help people.

a fake lesbian killed the LGBT club before it even started and is now a social outcast among all the of the gays in my school. its funny. she looks like a cave man.

 

[hambeerlyingnreed]

@berserkerarmor

What's the story behind the cavewoman getting the LGBT club shut down? It sounds interesting!

 

[tasty humane burger]

I remember one time in primary school we were painting and because I was about 7, and kids do weird things, I put my hand in the water we used to clean our brushes because my hand felt hot and the water looked nice.

The water splashed on another kids painting, I mentioned her in another thread but she was the 'golden girl' who got away with everything because her mother taught at our partnered high school.

So she started fake crying that I 'ruined' her painting. And someone 'told' on me for putting my hands in the water. I think if I went to any sane primary school (and not the backwards hovel that was my school) I would have got made to apologise and told off for being silly. Nah, here I got told to go to the front of the class to get yelled at, had my painting ripped up and put in the bin and got made to clean all the painting stuff.

Being a little kid, I was very upset and the teacher just yelled at me even more for feeling sorry for myself. I literally did nothing.

 

[kira-kun]

There was a kid who decided to smoke a blunt in the first floor bathroom of my high school's academics building. Apparently, a teacher or maybe another kid was going to come into the bathroom, so the guy freaks out and tosses the lit blunt into the bathroom trash full of paper towels. The trashcan immediately erupts into flame. The kid goes apeshit and runs out into the hallway screaming, "FIRE! FIRE! HOLY SHIT A FIRE!". He didn't stop to pull the fire alarm, so I assume his uninvited guest was the one to do that. The first floor hallway had filled with smoke and it was seeping into the classrooms, so the whole building was evacuated and classes were cancelled. The first floor boys' bathroom was closed for about a week while it was cleaned up.

This same genius was also arrested for lighting a blunt right outside the school's main office, where a cop is posted.

There was also the time a kid called in a bomb threat because no one thought his edgy joke was funny. He came to school dressed as a "terrorist" (not really, just in one of those Arab man dress things, but he called it a terrorist outfit). Then during one of the lunches he got a whole bunch of kids together outside and started shouting shit like, "Death to America!, Allahu Akhbar!", and shit like that. It was supposed to be a senior prank, but no one thought it was funny. Instead, the guy ended up getting suspended for being an idiot, and as "revenge" he called in a bomb threat later that day.

One of the cello players in my junior high orchestra was a methhead and would smoke the shit in the bathroom before practice.

A kid stole a sink one time, too.

We also had this one autistic kid in my science class that was always trying to walk out with shit. He'd just stick whatever it was under his shirt and try to leave, even though you could totally tell he was trying to walk off with an Erlenmeyer flask.

 

[PT 940]

The only successful senior prank that happened at my high school happened when I was not a senior - not sure if it was one person or a group (I assume a group because pranks are funnier that way) but they bought some of that "crap in a can" spray, looked like diarrhea. They sprayed it inside all of the vending machines and all over one of the staircases. It was disgusting but not gonna lie, hilarious.

 

[PL 001]

My high school principal was a weird guy, but likeable. He offered to buy my friend and I lunch (any fast food place of our choice, but still) if we helped pluck a pheasant he had shot. We agreed, wanted by to see where this was going. The dude had the carcass of the pheasant stuffed into the teacher's lounge fridge. We plucked and dressed it, and true to his word, he got us lunch.

I was a big asshole to one of my friends in middle school. Space Jam had come out, and he had told me he thought Lola Bunny was hot. I spread that all over and he got made fun of big time.

I took a writer's workshop class in college. One guy attending was the perfect stereotype of a neckbeard. Fatass, greasy skin, oily hair, smelled, even had the fedora. He thought he was smarter than everyone else taking the class, made fun of me for mentioning that Harlan Ellison was a big inspiration in my own writing. He said with no sense of self-awareness "some people enjoy filet mignon and some enjoy dollar burgers from McDonald's I see..." When it came time to present our stories to the class for criticism, his stories were all Legend of Zelda fanfiction.

 

[PT 940]

My high school principal was a weird guy, but likeable. He offered to buy my friend and I lunch (any fast food place of our choice, but still) if we helped pluck a pheasant he had shot. We agreed, wanted by to see where this was going. The dude had the carcass of the pheasant stuffed into the teacher's lounge fridge. We plucked and dressed it, and true to his word, he got us lunch.

I was a big asshole to one of my friends in middle school. Space Jam had come out, and he had told me he thought Lola Bunny was hot. I spread that all over and he got made fun of big time.

I took a writer's workshop class in college. One guy attending was the perfect stereotype of a neckbeard. Fatass, greasy skin, oily hair, smelled, even had the fedora. He thought he was smarter than everyone else taking the class, made fun of me for mentioning that Harlan Ellison was a big inspiration in my own writing. He said with no sense of self-awareness "some people enjoy filet mignon and some enjoy dollar burgers from McDonald's I see..." When it came time to present our stories to the class for criticism, his stories were all Legend of Zelda fanfiction.

What's wrong with Harlan Ellison?

Oh please tell me his fanfics were self-insert. That would really make my day.

 

[PL 001]

What's wrong with Harlan Ellison?

Oh please tell me his fanfics were self-insert. That would really make my day.

Absolutely nothing wrong with Harlan. He just wanted to look like one of those book snobs who doesn't read genre fiction.

Unfortunately I couldn't see any self inserts in his fanfic. That would have been the cherry on top as well. I just found it funny that for all his posturing and attitude towards everyone else, the best he could do was what a 14 year old would scribble down.

 

[Dick In a Drawer]

my high school had a lot of funny and fucked stories because of the crackheads, like there was a very dispropantante amount of people that were always on drugs. there was this sophomore that was dared by an upperclassman to drink bongwater for $20, he did it and ended up hospitalized from getting sick. there was this one guy that became known as the most hated guy in school for the scummiest shit and did every drug. junior year he got hopsitalized from basically oding on fentanyl and did heroin and coke in school, usually the bathrooms but he'd do lines of coke off his phone in class. senior year, pretty sure he turned 18 by then, he bragged to his ex about fucking a 13 year old girl in guatemala on vacation and sent pics to her of him and the girl together so he's a statutory rapist as well. he had, still does, a lot of anger issues and would threaten people with bb guns. there was a after party on prom night and he got beaten up by the bouncer for pulling out a bb and essentially caused the party to end.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I remember one time in primary school we were painting and because I was about 7, and kids do weird things, I put my hand in the water we used to clean our brushes because my hand felt hot and the water looked nice.

At the same age, I believe, my elementary school's lower grade would go to a dedicated upstairs art room. it wasn't used for any other purpose, and it had no carpeting, so i imagine it made it easier to clean up the messes younger kids would make doing art projects.

I can't remember what we were working on, but it involved watercolor paints. We were required to bring in an old oversized white t-shirt to wear over our uniform to protect us form spills and such. Having read some kid's book that featured a mechanic covered in grease, I proceeded to put some brown/black watercolor randomly on my art shirt just to look like said mechanic.

There was a kid who decided to smoke a blunt in the first floor bathroom of my high school's academics building. Apparently, a teacher or maybe another kid was going to come into the bathroom, so the guy freaks out and tosses the lit blunt into the bathroom trash full of paper towels. The trashcan immediately erupts into flame.

During my freshman year, I was taking a social studies course and our teacher - a rather well-loved older woman who was a very easy teacher, generous grader, and proud owner of a red sports car many students sperged about (especially the rare few that got to ride in it). One morning, she asks if anyone used one of our bathroom passes x number of days earlier. Everyone shrugs and either answers no or that they aren't sure. Apparently, someone set fire in one of the bathroom trash cans at the same time our class met, so every teacher that had a class that hour was asked to identify anyone who might have been using the bathroom at the time of the incident.

Some days later, my teacher reads her daily report - a photocopied document that had information about absences, transfers, and suspensions - and notices a student or two with a suspension code she doesn't recognize. As she would normally do when she didn't recognize a suspension code, she asked me to look it up in my handbook because it listed all the different codes used to identify reasons for suspension. As an example, I still know to this day that frequently-cited code numbers 4 and 11 were for insubordination and unexcused absence from a detention period.

When I looked up the code she gave me, I reported that it was for arson; the culprits had been presumably identified and suspended. I don't recall if she named them or not. I'm thinking she didn't as it would have been a huge privacy violation otherwise - and likely enough to get her fired. I believe she taught another 10-15 years before she finally retired - amazing because my classmates and I thought she looked old enough to be our grandmother and would retire at any time.

my brother almost got the STEM teacher in trouble by along with my cousin putting "bush did 9/11" and "virginity rocks" on the projector on the ceiling without him knowing. his bosses saw it but he doesnt know it was them.

My senior year, the physics teacher had a projector setup where there was a roll of transparent plastic that a teacher could scroll back and forth to review past notes and get more blank space. This was then displayed on a movie screen for maximum readability.

For whatever reason, I decided to go to the projector before class started and I wrote "911 is a joke" on the plastic. Later, our teacher turned on the projector to illustrate a problem. He lowered the screen and read "911 is a joke" out loud, visibly confused and totally clueless as to what it meant and why it was there for everyone to see. When someone finally told him it was the name of a song by Public Enemy, he reacted indifferently and continued with whatever he wanted to show us. He never asked who did it, and I never confessed.

 

[PT 940]

When I was in 8th grade we had a field trip really early in the school year as a "getting to know you" sort of event (even though most of us knew each other from 7th grade. It was still a very nice gesture though.) The trip was to a park close to the school. It was mostly kids stuff so everyone was just walking around, enjoying the nice weather. We still had to conform to the dress code which sucked but *shrug.

There was a group of girls, all friends, who were suspiciously absent on the day of the field trip. They were the stereotypical "bad girls." We figured they didn't want to go on the trip because it was beneath them, "kid stuff" so to speak that they were too grown up to attend. We all get to the park via the school buses and everyone is having fun. Everyone noticed, at some point, the group of girls had shown up. They were all in crop tops that showed their belly buttons, short shorts, makeup, sunglasses and purses (we were discouraged from carrying purses at school for whatever dumb reason) and eating suckers (lollipops) like it was naughty. They were walking around saying hi to everyone just to be seen, and because they hadn't shown up to school and were there on their own, they weren't required to follow the dress code and couldn't technically get in trouble. Their parents allowed them miss school to do this, and we knew this because they didn't get in trouble for cutting school.