The Friendzone does it exist?

I think the thought of it as an action that's somehow intentionally inflicted on innocent guys, sometimes girls, is the biggest issue with it's stereotypical negative usage.

You can only be as deep in the "friendzone" as you put yourself. I think this can take time for people to learn, but by your mid 20's you should be at or near the end of placing yourself in situations like this. ESPECIALLY if you've never had any kind of romantic or sexual involvement with the person. In that case it's more like by the time you're done high school. On two occasions in my life I got dumped by girls who then told me that they really didn't want to lose me as a friend and that I was a great guy, etcetc. Obviously since it was a one-sided decision to not be intimate anymore, there was no realistic way (for me, anyways) that being around them wouldn't be agonizing, but I tried to convince myself that I could shift my feelings for them over time to a more platonic place. Again, obviously this was a horrible idea and I spent more time with them after the breakup in the most pointless exercise in masochism I can think of, save for that it taught a valuable lesson:

I can have coffee with a friend one afternoon, we'll chat for a couple hours, part ways, and I'll go right back to my day and it won't bother me if I don't see or hear from them for another week. That's a friend. I can try to "be friends" with someone I have serious unrequited feelings for, meet for coffee, spend the whole time with them with my blood pressure up, and have it be extremely painful when they casually return to the rest of their day, and I'm left wishing we spent the whole day together, etcetc.

Now, in that case there's at least a plausible way you can delude yourself into thinking that because there was intimacy before, if you're somehow charming enough, they'll find themselves smitten all over again, or whatever, even though you're just wasting both of your time because you're not having a honest interaction.

If you're putting yourself through this and you've never so much as kissed, it's been like 10 months, etc, you're either 13 years old or a re-tard.
 
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For me, the "friendzone" has always been a place women try to put you when they want to end a sexual relationship. It always goes something like "But I still want to be friends!"

Uh-huh. That means we don't fuck anymore, right? And you want me to hang around so that you have a shoulder to cry on and give you asspats whenever your new slice of meat is "being mean to you" and you don't get your way and makes you cry and shit, right?

No thanks, I don't want you drunk dialing me at midnight to whine about him. We can't be friends anymore. Lose my number.
 
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Slappy McGherkin said:
For me, the "friendzone" has always been a place women try to put you when they want to end a sexual relationship. It always goes something like "But I still want to be friends!"

Uh-huh. That means we don't fuck anymore, right? And you want me to hang around so that you have a shoulder to cry on and give you asspats whenever your new slice of meat is "being mean to you" and you don't get your way and makes you cry and shit, right?

No thanks, I don't want you drunk dialing me at midnight to whine about him. We can't be friends anymore. Lose my number.
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Taken straight from the Nice Guy's playbook
 
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Slappy McGherkin said:
For me, the "friendzone" has always been a place women try to put you when they want to end a sexual relationship. It always goes something like "But I still want to be friends!"

Uh-huh. That means we don't fuck anymore, right? And you want me to hang around so that you have a shoulder to cry on and give you asspats whenever your new slice of meat is "being mean to you" and you don't get your way and makes you cry and shit, right?

No thanks, I don't want you drunk dialing me at midnight to whine about him. We can't be friends anymore. Lose my number.
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If you feel that way you were never friends in the first place, just fuck buddies.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but don’t make it sound like she’s a bitch for wanting to try to be your friend after the fuck buddy thing didn’t work out.
 
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In some situations, the woman (or man) DOES know what the deal is and is using their 'friend' as a emotional battery of some sort. That's a real thing and I think it's what we really mean when we say friend zone. It's deeper than unrequited affection and some people actively friendzone others so as to have a ready supply of false emotional energy. I've witnessed women AND men doing it consciously on multiple occasions.
The payoff for the desired person is not minor by any means. Ready and willing emotional support, snuggles and gifts, recommendations and assistance in school or work, help with moving, the list goes on. The desired person gets to feel good about themselves while treating the other like a tissue, balled up and discarded when their purpose has been served. Their payment? An empty implication of something that doesn't exist.
Again, both sexes engage in this shit, no matter what the meme says about yon soy boys.
 
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ProgKing of the North said:
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but don’t make it sound like she’s a bitch for wanting to try to be your friend after the fuck buddy thing didn’t work out.
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Didn't say she was a "bitch" per se, just that what it boils down to is you end up being an emotional condom for her without any benefit of the sexual relationship that you once had as very close, intimate friends. I do have friends that are women and the reason we remain friends is that neither of us has sexual desire for the other. Never really been into the "fuckbuddy" scenario because that's its own fallacy, from my experience. It starts off as "we can just fuck and have fun," but after awhile, one party or the other starts to get romantically attached, feelings develop and get expressed, and that changes the whole nature of things. Playing the age card here a bit, but in all my years, I've had the pleasure of maybe two women that wanted sex strictly for the sake of having sex, could walk away afterwards with a kiss and I'll see ya when I see ya. So, it's not impossible to have a fuckbuddy, but the odds are it usually ends up as the first scenario I described if you're fucking on a regular basis.

The other reason the fuckbuddy scenario never really worked for me is that I WANT TO be close to or at least feel something romantic about my sexual partners. I think most "normal" people (if their is such a thing) do. It makes for a stronger sexual experience. Prostitutes/one night stands only satisfy the immediate physical need, not the emotional need.

But eh, what the hell do I know.
 
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Meh, I've been chewing on this.

Recon said:
In some situations, the woman (or man) DOES know what the deal is and is using their 'friend' as a emotional battery of some sort. That's a real thing and I think it's what we really mean when we say friend zone. It's deeper than unrequited affection and some people actively friendzone others so as to have a ready supply of false emotional energy. I've witnessed women AND men doing it consciously on multiple occasions.
The payoff for the desired person is not minor by any means. Ready and willing emotional support, snuggles and gifts, recommendations and assistance in school or work, help with moving, the list goes on. The desired person gets to feel good about themselves while treating the other like a tissue, balled up and discarded when their purpose has been served. Their payment? An empty implication of something that doesn't exist.
Again, both sexes engage in this shit, no matter what the meme says about yon soy boys.
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Seems to me part of the reason it's called the Friendzone is because it's actually a pretty large area of emotional car wrecks that covers a myriad of crappy flavors of one way love.

Sometimes it's used to laugh off the pain "hur dur, I got friendzoned. Look at me laughing at what a stupid asshole I am," and sometimes it's "you could have had this, but you chose otherwise" cause bitter/upset.
When someone is intentionally stringing you along in order to get something out of you, I would call that being used. Calling it friendzoned is kind of trivializing something very repugnant.

I've had plain old unrequited love.

I've been used as an emotional tampon (and one time source of rent money).

Very shortly after that I was forced to be the Zoner. There is nothing as awkward as addressing that particular elephant in the room because there is no way to do it without feeling vain and presumptuous if they haven't openly stated their feelings or smacked you in the face with red flags. Believe it or not, sometimes the person you're in love with can be just as self-concious as you.

"What if I'm just misreading them and I'm about to make a complete dick of myself?"

So I can understand why some people just can't bring themselves to do it. But, I would be damned if I were to turn around and inflict that same misery on someone else right after getting hurt so badly, so I decided that sometimes the best thing to do is let yourself be an awkwardly presumptuous dick. Cruel to be kind, as it were. And yes, the idea of potentially losing a friend makes it harder to get it over with, and you have to respect their decision as to whether or not they can tolerate being around you anymore.

Sometimes I still miss him.

The Friendzone sucks, but like all emotional dramas and traumas only you can really get you out of it. Sometimes what can feel like the worst moments in life spring from nothing more than an awkward situation.
 
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Work on having some irl friends before you take on the big leagues, champ
 
Friendzone is just rejection plain and simple. They aren't putting you on the back burner (unless they are a manipulative bitch), they didn't lead you on, and they aren't lying to you.

Is it possible to be friends with someone that rejects you? Of course it is, I have been friends with ex's, people who have rejected me, and such.

If a woman/man romantically/sexually likes you they will accept going out with you if they can. They will not make excuses, including the "what if our friendship fails if our relationship fails?"

Do not wait for anyone to "change their mind" because that is desperate as fuck and even a autist could figure what you're doing. They won't, and if they do then I would be suspect as to why you weren't their first choice. They aren't the only person on the planet with their personality type. Go out there and find someone else. The "friendzone" only exists because dumbasses let themselves get there in the first place and they stay in it.

It's one thing to maybe hang out with someone for a bit (and I mean a bit) just to test their personality and then asking them out, but if you go into a friendship with "i'm going to act so cool and then she will totally fall for me" and then get mad when she rejects you then it's your own damn fault. You shouldn't jump into friendships with ulterior motives anyway you asshole.

Make your attraction known from the start in a decent manner. "But now it feels awkward!" No you are making it that way. If they are making it that way then address it and compromise, and if you can't then the friendship wouldn't work out nevermind a romantic relationship.

If you don't want to be friends with someone because they rejected you, then you weren't friends in the first place. The friendzone is just a light way to reject you, and if you can't be around someone because of your feelings then just don't be around them.

Yes it is entirely possible to like someone of the opposite sex as a friend and not feel any romantic attraction towards them. There are plenty of women I would fuck, but that doesn't mean I would even consider putting them into my romantic life. Same thing with friendship. They weren't leading you on, they actually thought of you as their friend

It boggles my mind that grown men (and women) have to be told this and they still don't get it.
 
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The friendzone exists.

What dumb fucking nice-guys conveniently forget is that it exists for everyone. Now, if you wanted to get genuinely controversial about it, you could point out that women tend to handle friendzoning a LOT worse than men tend to, though if enough of these fedorajockey dipshits crop up they just might bring it all back into balance again.
 
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I suddenly know what the friendzone is, precisely and completely.

The friendzone is an asymetrical relationship proposed by someone who wants to reject romantically, but not be rejected socially.
 
Replicant Sasquatch said:
Taken straight from the Nice Guy's playbook
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What he described is the opposite of either a nice guy or a Nice Guy tm handbook. It's brutal honesty with the situation. A Nice Guy tm is the reverse; accepting the friendzone and hoping or scheming to get more out of it anyways.
 
I knew a guy who quietly had a thing for another friend of mine. She wasn't interested at all, but they'd known each other for years. If you look at it one way, he was friendzoned hard bc she never reciprocated yet kept the friendship going.

However, she has a lot of stylish and attractive female friends, and since he was part of her social circle, he got to know them. Because of the social connection, he had way more chances with hot women than he otherwise would have. He's gotten at least two different hookups (that I know of) and one relationship out of this arrangement. She doesn't really mind, because it means her friend stays around, but doesn't get too needy.
 
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