If you want the RPGiest RPGs I'd go for either Planescape Torment or Fallout 2. They're a bit earlier than what you're looking for, but I've yet to play any other RPG that comes anywhere near those two games. Fallout 2 ruined the genre for me because it was the only game I played where the developers pretty much thought of everything. You could talk your way past all situations, extort people, drive them to suicide. Hell, you can literally kill kids and sell your friends into slavery in between becoming a pornstar and a boxing champ. The devs were so fucking anal that your dialog/ speech options change depending on your charisma, intelligence and sobriety level.
P.S. I'll give another +1 to both Arcanum and Deus Ex. Arcanum was made by some of the same people that worked on Fallout 2 and also has amazing amounts of freedom. IIRC it even had a day and night cycle. I remember having to break into shops at night while the owners where asleep.