Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Relic 31]

Thanks for the info. Leave it to Disney to create a store/attraction based around one of the coolest fictional weapons and make it lame.

I was expecting it to at least sell maybe cheaper pre-made sabers; separate crystals, or maybe extra interchangeable parts for the saber you buy, but the store just looks so bare bones and boring.

I was either going to ask about the lightsaber store or the First Order one, but I thought the lightsaber store would be more interesting. Apparently not.

 

[Creep3r]

Thanks for the info. Leave it to Disney to create a store/attraction based around one of the coolest fictional weapons and make it lame.

I was expecting it to at least sell maybe cheaper pre-made sabers; separate crystals, or maybe extra interchangeable parts for the saber you buy, but the store just looks so bare bones and boring.

I was either going to ask about the lightsaber store or the First Order one, but I thought the lightsaber store would be more interesting. Apparently not.

There's really not a lot to say about the saber store. Only other thing I can offer is more pics of its exterior and interior.

Also the entrance to the park is really boring. I was expecting some kind of giant gate or transition area that's like an airport like the promotional material suggested, but you just walk into it like any other part of the park. Its entrance is just a regular path next to the western "Hungry Bear Restaurant" which I guess is a leftover of the old west ranch.

Behold gentlekiwis, the gateway to Star Wars.

Bonus:

"Lady please, we only just met..."

"W-Woah! Get your hand out of there! STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!"

PS: That's not a tourist, that's one of the two ladies who manages the "pet" store.

Edit:
If anyone or any lurkers are feeling grateful for my info, all I ask is that you spread it and the pics around or post them on reddit or wherever the hell it is you hang out. No credit necessary. Just spread the good word. For those of you who just got here, I posted more on page 500.

 

[nanny911]

How crazy expensive are we talking about the EU store? Is it just books or are there other things in there?

 

[Creep3r]

I forgot to mention this in my previous post, but there's porg sounds everywhere there's trees in the park. Its apparently to increase the ambience and make shit feel more alien, but all you hear is fucking porgs, along with the sounds made by those weird horse things from The Last Jedi's casino scene. There's also some kind of tauntaun noise.

How crazy expensive are we talking about the EU store? Is it just books or are there other things in there?

Might as well give you the whole lowdown. Do you want to know literally everything about this fucking store, including promo material? Do you wanna know about the clerks that runs the shop or do you already know that? Or do you want merch info and pics?

 

[nanny911]

Might as well give you the whole lowdown. Do you want to know literally everything about this fucking store, including promo material? Do you wanna know about the clerks that runs the shop or do you already know that? Or do you want merch info and pics?

That would be great, as much as you're willing to tell.

 

[neverendingmidi]

I forgot to mention this in my previous post, but there's porg sounds everywhere there's trees in the park. Its apparently to increase the ambience and make shit feel more alien, but all you hear is fucking porgs, along with the sounds made by those weird horse things from The Last Jedi's casino scene. There's also some kind of tauntaun noise.

Might as well give you the whole lowdown. Do you want to know literally everything about this fucking store, including promo material? Do you wanna know about the clerks that runs the shop or do you already know that? Or do you want merch info and pics?

Details, man! Details! How else are we going to point and laugh at the hilariously bad setting otherwise?

Note: I have been to the Harry Potter world at Universal Studios, and honestly? It was amazing. They did their best to make the Diagon Alley area look like the movie. They made the products in the stores, whether it was candy, robes, or the joke shop, look like the movie. Every nook and corner could be explored. The butterbeer even tasted good, and the Leaky Cauldron had British style food available nowhere else in the park.

What they didn't do was set it in a random continent (Africa/Asia/Australia/etc) with random characters, stores and imagery never seen or heard of before and sell generic hot dogs and chips.

Edit:
As far as Star Wars fans go, I enjoy reading SnarkWars, which lovingly does sarcastic reviews of the various media of Star Wars. Right now they're doing a recap of ROTJ, which will finish all of the movies of 1-6. This quote just had me laughing:

Meanwhile, back on a Super Star Destroyer, Vader’s getting a visit from his boss and OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. YOU. GUYS. Can I even begin to describe to you all my complete and utter JOY at THIS BITCH POPPING UP IN THE EPISODE 9 TRAILER?

Indeed, I am a total fangirl for Space Satan. Even with my ceaseless, borderline-demented devotion to the Jedi Order, I will eternally stan this wicked gremlin and his AMAZING LINES OF DIALOGUE.

I have had a very complicated relationship with the Sequel Trilogy since The Force Awakens came out for a number of reasons, but I sincerely laughed until I cried when I saw the Rise of Skywalkertrailer at Celebration this year. I am very rarely caught by surprise by Star Wars, in part because I’ve never met a spoiler I didn’t immediately read, and so having that COME OUT OF NOWHERE genuinely filled me with pure glee. I have no idea what the fuck Sidious is doing there, I have no real idea what dumbass story Star Wars is going to throw at me, but at this point the fact that Sheev is ANY part of this portion of the story is so flat-out funny to me that I’m pretty much willing to just give in and enjoy the ride at this point. (Also I am cackling at how many times over the years on this very blog I have said some variation of “nice try, Sequel Trilogy, but SIDIOUS IS ONLY BIG BAD I WILL EVER ACCEPT AND YOUR VILLAINS COULD NEVER.” I feel like JJ Abrams read this and was like “…well, she’s got a point.”)

 

[Wyzzerd]

I thought they would at least play it safe and smart with the parks since they are a large construction in their own park but no. It all just looks so bland and boring.

There are tons of star wars austists out there who would cream their pants for a chance to work on anything Disney was working on but instead they somehow found a group of people who are completely apathetic or even antagonistic to the franchise. I still don't understand how any of these choices are made.

 

[Creep3r]

That would be great, as much as you're willing to tell.

This is gonna be a doozy because this store has a lot of shit tied to it (more so than probably the rest of the park). I should also note that everything in the park is mediocre or bad, but this is the one store (and only location) that feels like it had some real effort put into it, in other words its the store I referred to as "so/so" before. First off, its called Dok-Ondar's Den of Antiquities. The store is run by an Ithorian obviously named Dok-Ondar. Here's what he looked like in promotional material.

This is what he actually looks like (also note how deceitful the comic cover is in regards to the aliens).

Promotional material said you could interact with him, give him items, and he would explain what they are. None of this turned out to be true and was just empty promises from Disney. He just sits behind a cage and occasionally talks if approached. You can show him stuff from behind the cage and he'll say a few things in Ithorese (big booming sounds) but its mostly the same shit with every item with only slight pattern changes, and with no translator device. Instead a human clerk will show up and will do the actual exchange and info. Although I give them props for actually making him sound like an Ithorian and unlike the other animatronics, he's genuinely interesting to look at. In all of the pics and footage I was sent, he was one of only 4 familiar aliens at the park. Too bad you can't even get close to the guy.

Next up is the merch. As I've said before, only one store in the park sales stuff from the OT and EU, this is that store. These "antiquities" consists of clothes, toys and knickknacks all based on stuff from past SW lore, however there's some Disney shit mixed in there, like Yellow Yoda statues of when she had tits. The toys and knickknacks here are actually the only ones at the park that are of decent or good quality, as such, they're HORRIBLY expensive! One ancient Sith Chalice said to have been used by the legendary Darth Andeddu (the first Darth in pre-Disney/EU lore) or Palpatine depending on the sales pitch (I actually asked my friend to ask one of the clerks if they had an Andeddu chalice, he suspects they didn't know who that was and were just winging it to sale the shitty cup) and it costs over 200 FUCKING DOLLARS! Meanwhile a broken bust depicting Jabba the Hutt costs 100 fucking dollars!

For girls, there's an entire section set up dedicated to Leia and Padme with items that number from 40 to +400 dollars.

Yet unsurprisingly, Luke and the other boys don't get their own shit. Palpatine and Yoda get their own little sections but Yoda's pretty meh.

But Luke's lightsaber along with those of every major jedi and sith ever in SW (along with Kylo fucking Ren) are sold in a special display case as Legacy Lightsabers at around 109 dollars each with tax, with the highest one at 200. These are of a higher quality than the shitty ones at the Lightsaber store, but my associate claims that were disappointing, and he was crazy enough to buy the Dooku one and was disappointed with the quality, claiming that its nothing compared to the one you can get at saberforge at around the same price with better materials: https://saberforge.com/products/the-count

I have more to tell, just give me a moment.

 

[Prompt Critical]

Might as well give you the whole lowdown. Do you want to know literally everything about this fucking store, including promo material? Do you wanna know about the clerks that runs the shop or do you already know that? Or do you want merch info and pics?

Your park infodumps are informative, entertaining and horrifying in equal measure, and I appreciate the effort you're taking to collect it all in one place for easy redistribution. Please keep them coming.

 

[millais]

So the food was as dogshit and low-effort as all the preview photos have led us to believe?

 

[Creep3r]

Alright. Here we go again. The store is a lot more disappointing than promotional material implied, and by that I mean aesthetically-speaking. Promotional material showed it as being very elaborate and big but it looks quite simplistic, and as seen here:

Its pretty small. Some parts are nice but the register area is basic and small. In other words the set up feels pretty earth-typical and not as alien as early material implied.

Here's more pics of the store:

The exterior featuring a small Ithorian mural and a statue of what's claimed to be a jedi librarian (possibly the one from II). On the door are words in aurebesh that read "antiquities".

Here's another of the Ithorian with a mandalorian helmet in the background and a Sacros K-11 Blaster (Jango's disintegrator ray) from the Holiday Special and ESB.

Here's the ceiling with a stuffed wampa in the corner of the second floor which would be neat, except its inaccessible so you can't take freaking pictures with the Wampa or buy any of the crap up there.

Also some crap from Maz Katana's castle, Rogue One, a naboo officer uniform, what my associate claims to be the armor of the girl from the Rebels cartoon and tube that has what seems to be a Kouhun (the centipede creatures from Episode II).

Here's the main attraction:

The Jedi (left) and Sith (right) holocrons from EU lore. Each contains a lightsaber crystal of a legendary jedi or sith that contain a piece of their spirits. Some may contain the spirits of the monks of the Dai Bendu, an ancient Pre-Disney/EU organization that were the predecessors of the jedi and sith who used all aspects of the Force. When activated, the voice of that being will give you advice and info. When placed next to each other, the spirits within will "battle" with sounds. That's it. Each one costs 50 fucking dollars. You can buy more crystals at 12.99 each. They can be recharged via usb cables.

Here's the empire corner, the only place in the park you can get classic imperial shit. All around 20 to 400 dollars, along with some shitty sith sabers in a "bin".

Here's some rebel shit and an incorrectly painted imperial scout helmet that's yellow. Not for sale.

The two little statues on the left are 2 of the four sages of the Dwartii. The creature on the bottom is a complete mystery but it looks a bit like the condor dragon from the Ewok movies.

Some more crap that's not for sale but some of it can be bought if its below the walls. An Imperial Royal Guard helmet, a mounted baby mythosaur skull (Mandalorian symbol), a kaleesh mask (Grievous' species), Boba's helmet and weapon (the amban pulse blaster) from the Holiday Special, some bronze busts of Maul and Vader which you can actually buy and some graphs. There's also a Kaleesh banner in the top right (not pictured).

These are the "cheap" shitty lightsabers at 39.99. They come in green, red and blue.

Lightsaber crystals at 12.99 for your holocrons.

"WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD" at the bottom.

Jedi "robe" and accessories.

There are also mounted heads in the corner of the store displaying creatures from the movies, EU and Disney shit.

First off and the most recognizable one is the Tauntaun. A fitting symbol of Disney's killing and acquisition of the OT. On the bottom left is the Nexu, the infamous alien lion/tiger from Episode II's coliseum scene, a symbol of the PT getting its shit kicked in by Disney. The one in the middle is a corellian hound from the Solo movie, and around his head it says "In memory of Yay-Jacc" which doesn't make sense and doesn't exist in anything pre or post Disney, symbolic of Solo's failure I guess. The one on the bottom right looks familiar but I can't figure out what it is, it looks a bit like a Boar-wolf from the Ewok movies but its way too small, if its the boar-wolf, symbolic of the EU getting its shit fucked. And finally the one on the top left is a "kod'yok" from Solo... The sign displaying its name is upside down, symbolic of the inevitable doom of this park.

Gotta take a wee break, but there's more to tell.

To all of you who enjoyed this info dump of crap (especially you filthy lurkers), feel free to spread this info and these pics around anywhere you can, reddit, 4chan, whatever. That's all I ask. No credit necessary.

 

[millais]

The sign displaying its name is upside down.

How many millions of dollars did it cost them to build this theme park again?

 

[nanny911]

Alright. Here we go again. The store is a lot more disappointing than promotional material implied, and by that I mean aesthetically-speaking. Promotional material showed it as being very elaborate and big but it looks quite simplistic, and as seen here:
View attachment 778612
Its pretty small. Some parts are nice but the register area is basic and small. In other words the set up feels pretty earth-typical and not as alien as early material implied.

Here's more pics of the store:

The exterior featuring a small Ithorian mural and a statue of what's claimed to be a jedi librarian (possibly the one from II). On the door are words in aurebesh that read "antiquities".
View attachment 778616View attachment 778655

Here's another of the Ithorian with a mandalorian helmet in the background and a Sacros K-11 Blaster (Jango's disintegrator ray) from the Holiday Special and ESB.
View attachment 778628

Here's the ceiling with a stuffed wampa in the corner of the second floor which would be neat, except its inaccessible so you can't take freaking pictures with the Wampa or buy any of the crap up there.
View attachment 778643View attachment 778659
Also some crap from Maz Katana's castle, Rogue One, a naboo officer uniform, what my associate claims to be the armor of the girl from the Rebels cartoon and tube that has what seems to be a Kouhun (the centipede creatures from Episode II).

Here's the main attraction:
View attachment 778674
The Jedi (left) and Sith (right) holocrons from EU lore. Each contains a lightsaber crystal of a legendary jedi or sith that contain a piece of their spirits. Some may contain the spirits of the monks of the Dai Bendu, an ancient Pre-Disney/EU organization that were the predecessors of the jedi and sith who used all aspects of the Force. When activated, the voice of that being will give you advice and info. When placed next to each other, the spirits within will "battle" with sounds. That's it. Each one costs 50 fucking dollars. You can buy more crystals at 12.99 each. They can be recharged via usb cables.

Here's the empire corner, the only place in the park you can get classic imperial shit. All around 20 to 400 dollars, along with some shitty sith sabers in a "bin".
View attachment 778695

Here's some rebel shit and an incorrectly painted imperial scout helmet that's yellow. Not for sale.
View attachment 778699
The two little statues on the left are 2 of the four sages of the Dwartii. The creature on the bottom is a complete mystery but it looks a bit like the condor dragon from the Ewok movies.

Some more crap that's not for sale but some of it can be bought if its below the walls. An Imperial Royal Guard helmet, a mounted baby mythosaur skull (Mandalorian symbol), a kaleesh mask (Grievous' species), Boba's helmet and weapon (the amban pulse blaster) from the Holiday Special, some bronze busts of Maul and Vader which you can actually buy and some graphs. There's also a Kaleesh banner in the top right (not pictured).
View attachment 778718

These are the "cheap" shitty lightsabers at 39.99. They come in green, red and blue.
View attachment 778729

Lightsaber crystals at 12.99 for your holocrons.
View attachment 778734
"WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD" at the bottom.

Jedi "robe" and accessories.
View attachment 778741

There are also mounted heads in the corner of the store displaying creatures from the movies, EU and Disney shit.
View attachment 778748
First off and the most recognizable one is the Tauntaun. A fitting symbol of Disney's killing and acquisition of the OT. On the bottom left is the Nexu, the infamous alien lion/tiger from Episode II's coliseum scene, a symbol of the PT getting its shit kicked in by Disney. The one in the middle is a corellian hound from the Solo movie, and around his head it says "In memory of Yay-Jacc" which doesn't exist in anything pre or post Disney, symbolic of Solo's failure I guess. The one on the bottom right looks familiar but I can't figure out what it is. It looks a bit like a Boar-wolf from the Ewok movies but its way too small. And finally the one on the top left is a "kod'yok" from Solo... The sign displaying its name is upside down.

Gotta take a wee break, but there's more to tell.

To all of you who enjoyed this info dump of crap (especially you filthy lurkers), feel free to spread this info and these pics around anywhere you can, reddit, 4chan, whatever. That's all I ask. No credit necessary.

Dear Lord...I know we've talking about this for months, but every picture of the merch you post CONTINUES to amaze by how cheap it looks! Those Jedi robes look like WalMart costumes and that Imperial Guard's helmet...it's obviously made out of cheap plastic. The sad thing is I've seen homemade costumes that look amazing, like in the movies. I will continue to be horrified at how sloppy and actively careless this park is.

Also, the fact that the OT and PT stuff is grouped with the EU stuff make me wonder if Disney is going to brand the OT and PT non-canon and replace in the near future.

 

[Creep3r]

How many millions of dollars did it cost them to build this theme park again?

Around 1.4 billion+ EACH for both the Florida and California versions, which are the same. Combined, a total of around 2.8 billion.

Would've been cheaper just to make one park in Florida. And why waste money on two identical parks anyway? They could've made California Jakku (sequel focued) and Florida Tatooine (pre-Disney focused).

 

[XYZpdq]

God, everything about Galaxy's Edge sounds horrible. What a misfire in every way imaginable.

Bob Iger is definitely to blame here. For a while now, he's been wanting to change far too many things about the Disney parks. He has the mentality that "people won't go to an attraction if it isn't attached to any franchise in pop culture," which is ludicrous.

Iger probably has future plans to get rid of things like Soarin', the Haunted Mansion, and Space Mountain somewhere down the road.

Soarin' kinda sucks.

Alright. Here we go again. The store is a lot more disappointing than promotional material implied, and by that I mean aesthetically-speaking. Promotional material showed it as being very elaborate and big but it looks quite simplistic, and as seen here:
View attachment 778612
Its pretty small. Some parts are nice but the register area is basic and small. In other words the set up feels pretty earth-typical and not as alien as early material implied.

Here's more pics of the store:

The exterior featuring a small Ithorian mural and a statue of what's claimed to be a jedi librarian (possibly the one from II). On the door are words in aurebesh that read "antiquities".
View attachment 778616View attachment 778655

Here's another of the Ithorian with a mandalorian helmet in the background and a Sacros K-11 Blaster (Jango's disintegrator ray) from the Holiday Special and ESB.
View attachment 778628

Here's the ceiling with a stuffed wampa in the corner of the second floor which would be neat, except its inaccessible so you can't take freaking pictures with the Wampa or buy any of the crap up there.
View attachment 778643View attachment 778659
Also some crap from Maz Katana's castle, Rogue One, a naboo officer uniform, what my associate claims to be the armor of the girl from the Rebels cartoon and tube that has what seems to be a Kouhun (the centipede creatures from Episode II).

Here's the main attraction:
View attachment 778674
The Jedi (left) and Sith (right) holocrons from EU lore. Each contains a lightsaber crystal of a legendary jedi or sith that contain a piece of their spirits. Some may contain the spirits of the monks of the Dai Bendu, an ancient Pre-Disney/EU organization that were the predecessors of the jedi and sith who used all aspects of the Force. When activated, the voice of that being will give you advice and info. When placed next to each other, the spirits within will "battle" with sounds. That's it. Each one costs 50 fucking dollars. You can buy more crystals at 12.99 each. They can be recharged via usb cables.

Here's the empire corner, the only place in the park you can get classic imperial shit. All around 20 to 400 dollars, along with some shitty sith sabers in a "bin".
View attachment 778695

Here's some rebel shit and an incorrectly painted imperial scout helmet that's yellow. Not for sale.
View attachment 778699
The two little statues on the left are 2 of the four sages of the Dwartii. The creature on the bottom is a complete mystery but it looks a bit like the condor dragon from the Ewok movies.

Some more crap that's not for sale but some of it can be bought if its below the walls. An Imperial Royal Guard helmet, a mounted baby mythosaur skull (Mandalorian symbol), a kaleesh mask (Grievous' species), Boba's helmet and weapon (the amban pulse blaster) from the Holiday Special, some bronze busts of Maul and Vader which you can actually buy and some graphs. There's also a Kaleesh banner in the top right (not pictured).
View attachment 778718

These are the "cheap" shitty lightsabers at 39.99. They come in green, red and blue.
View attachment 778729

Lightsaber crystals at 12.99 for your holocrons.
View attachment 778734
"WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD" at the bottom.

Jedi "robe" and accessories.
View attachment 778741

There are also mounted heads in the corner of the store displaying creatures from the movies, EU and Disney shit.
View attachment 778748
First off and the most recognizable one is the Tauntaun. A fitting symbol of Disney's killing and acquisition of the OT. On the bottom left is the Nexu, the infamous alien lion/tiger from Episode II's coliseum scene, a symbol of the PT getting its shit kicked in by Disney. The one in the middle is a corellian hound from the Solo movie, and around his head it says "In memory of Yay-Jacc" which doesn't exist in anything pre or post Disney, symbolic of Solo's failure I guess. The one on the bottom right looks familiar but I can't figure out what it is. It looks a bit like a Boar-wolf from the Ewok movies but its way too small. And finally the one on the top left is a "kod'yok" from Solo... The sign displaying its name is upside down.

Gotta take a wee break, but there's more to tell.

To all of you who enjoyed this info dump of crap (especially you filthy lurkers), feel free to spread this info and these pics around anywhere you can, reddit, 4chan, whatever. That's all I ask. No credit necessary.

So the Jedi robes you can buy, how heavy are they? They look like hilarious heat stroke may be a possibility.

 

[Creep3r]

Soarin' kinda sucks.


So the Jedi robes you can buy, how heavy are they? They look like hilarious heat stroke may be a possibility.

My associate bought one and was crazy enough to wear it. Said its made out of a "thin" material but he had to take it off after 10 minutes because he was being "baked alive" and that it was itchy. Why in blazes would you wear something like that in California? Its more like a long hoodie with a zipper than a proper robe.

Anyway I forgot to post what comes after the Hungry Bear Restaurant before to greet you in SW land.

Here is what's around the corner to greet you.

A trash can, here to welcome you to Star Wars land! There is another entrance with an arch but there was some last minute work being done on it for the ceremony so it can't be used. Supposedly it'll be ready tomorrow.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

Soarin' kinda sucks.

I disagree. Though I have only been to the one in Disney World. I don't know if it's different in Disneyland.

 

[The Reaper]

Their smiles and optimism: Gone

At least George finally got to go to the park.

 

[Creep3r]

There are also mounted heads in the corner of the store displaying creatures from the movies, EU and Disney shit.
View attachment 778748
First off and the most recognizable one is the Tauntaun. A fitting symbol of Disney's killing and acquisition of the OT. On the bottom left is the Nexu, the infamous alien lion/tiger from Episode II's coliseum scene, a symbol of the PT getting its shit kicked in by Disney. The one in the middle is a corellian hound from the Solo movie, and around his head it says "In memory of Yay-Jacc" which doesn't make sense and doesn't exist in anything pre or post Disney, symbolic of Solo's failure I guess. The one on the bottom right looks familiar but I can't figure out what it is, it looks a bit like a Boar-wolf from the Ewok movies but its way too small, if its the boar-wolf, symbolic of the EU getting its shit fucked. And finally the one on the top left is a "kod'yok" from Solo... The sign displaying its name is upside down, symbolic of the inevitable doom of this park.

Now I remember what the one on the bottom right is. Its not a wolf-boar. Its an anooba, a wolf-esque creature from Tatooine that appeared in a lot of old pre-Disney stories.

Aw Crikey! These beauts could tear the hide off a bantha in seconds!

Shitposting aside, I guess that means the wall really does cover and mount all the eras of SW. Pretty fitting symbolism. So should I continue with Dok Ondar's store or move onto something else? There's not much left to tell except the "background" of the store which has to do with Han and Greedo. Or do you all want to just see more shitty pictures?

 

[millais]

Now I remember what the one on the bottom right is. Its not a wolf-boar. Its an anooba, a wolf-esque creature from Tatooine that appeared in a lot of old pre-Disney stories.
View attachment 779004
Cute little devils. I guess that means the wall really does cover and mount all the eras of SW. Pretty fitting symbolism. So should I continue with Dok Ondar's store or move onto something else? There's not much left to tell except the "background" of the store which has to do with Han and Greedo. Or do you all want to just see more shitty pictures?

Yes, please more photos and infodump. I am very curious to see what they weren't able to do with 2.8 billion dollars