Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Yes, please more photos and infodump. I am very curious to see what they weren't able to do with 2.8 billion dollars
Fine. Here's more pics.
But before I do, someone finally uploaded a vid of the inside of the store.
It doesn't show much, but its something.

Now on to more Dok merch.

Did you ever think to yourself and say "gee, I wonder if yellow Yoda was hot once. Did she have tits?" and if she was and did, do you want a tiny statue of her? Well now's your chance to own a mini statue of the pirate queen along with a fancy sun crown thingy!
779020


Here are some expensive busts of famous jedis. All over 60 dollars.
779033


Here are some sith relics, along with all four statues of the Dwartii sages. Snoke is also there.
779036


More sith merch along with sith symbols, sith patches, sith tomes and the emblem of the sith empire from The Old Republic era. At the bottom right corner is the 20 dollar cup of Malgus and a bust of Darth Maul. Also a Sith Holocron, a 200 dollar sith chalice in the middle and sith crystals.
779037


More jedi merch. Jedi mug with jedi symbol for 20 dollaridoos. A shitty jedi text from the tree in TLJ. A jedi holocron. Patches and symbols of the jedi throughout the ages. Jedi gear set. A "Yoda illuminator". Ancient lightsabers. The mask is of a Jedi Temple Guard from Filoni Wars who wield yellow lightsabers. Their crystals can be bought at Dok's store but yellow crystals are not available at the lightsaber school/store.
779040


Another shot of the broken Jabba mural. Again, it costs 100 dollars.
779056


Another mural depicting jedis. Around $100 too.
779063


Leia and Padme busts with art. Expensive.
779064


As said before, the rest of the park doesn't sell pre-Disney clothes. You can only get them at Dok's place. Here we have the Leia outfit from before along a Palpatine ensemble with cane and a Yoda outfit.
779066


Here's a belt clip for your lightsaber (6 years or up). Priced at only 15 dollaridoos.
779067


Two legacy lightsabers up close.
779069


Did you ever hear the Tragedy of IG-88 the Fucked? Its not a story Disney would tell you... until now. Ever wonder what happened to IG-88 under Disney canon since his life got retconned? Well its pretty much the same as in pre-Disney lore but with less action. Boba fucked his shit up somehow, left him for scrap on Bespin, IG transferred his AI elsewhere, his AI infiltrated the Death Star II and planned to start the droid revolution again, but the imperial droid R2-Q5 screwed him over once again but sooner. Difference is this time IG-88 somehow popped up again without explanation 34 years later where he was sent to track down the Millennium Falcon, which led him to Batuu/Galaxy's Edge where he met his end once again for good this time at the hands of an "unknown hunter". He is now rusting away on the second floor of a building nextdoor to Dok's house.
779030

Rust in Peace. @Flexo you just gonna sit there and let this stand you piece of metal crap?

Among these is Thrawn's badge. Maul's bust (again). Grievous' head. A twi'lek kalikori (a twilek family heirloom from Disney's Rebels named after the first twilek settlement on the holy planet Tython from pre-Disney lore). And finally the one set of items that are what made me decide this store was the only remotely decent thing in this whole shitty park, a complete set of Dejarik (holochess) pieces that look better than any of the awful toys at the park.
779071

Featuring all 8: a Kintan Strider, a Savrip, a Ghhhk, a Klor slug, a Houjix, a Monnok, an Ngok and the mighty boogeymen of Alderaan: the Molators. They're not as detailed as the custom shit you can get online, but its sad to think that these are the only things in this park that can inspire any real positive emotion out of me.

That about covers all the merch in Dok's store. All that's left to talk about concerning this store is Dok and the store's "backstory" if anyone wants that shit. If not I'll move onto another store, but just so you know, its all further downhill from here.
 
Last edited:
Geez, this park looks lame as hell. I could sort of get behind the high prices if they went all out and had incorporated elements from planets like Tatooine or Coruscant, but they just went for something utterly bland. This shit was really the best they could come up with?
 
Geez, this park looks lame as hell. I could sort of get behind the high prices if they went all out and had incorporated elements from planets like Tatooine or Coruscant, but they just went for something utterly bland. This shit was really the best they could come up with?
Its bad, but I'm more bothered by the lack of aliens and meet&greets. Most of the actors and merchants in the park really don't take their roles seriously except for the First Order and Resistance guys. I mean there aren't even any shitty Disney aliens about. Who knows, maybe they'll bring them out tomorrow... or not. And the only meet&greets anyone could find was Kylo Ren, nu-troopers, Rey, Chewbacca and some chick in a video from a Galaxy's Edge book no one read. There's one other "sort of" meet and greet. But I'd rather not reveal him until later when its relevant, you and others might actually like him though, I think.

Reminder:
All that's left to talk about concerning Dok's store is Dok and the store's "backstory" if anyone wants that shit. If not I'll move onto another store, but just so you know, its all further downhill from here.
 
Another store, this is fascinating.
Kay then.
I'm also interested in the shitty overpriced food.
I'll follow up with food then. Guess I'll start with the m;lk stand. Already mentioned this before but I'll just repeat what should already be known for any newcomers to the thread. To repeat, the Blue/Green m;lk is not m;lk or a m;lk shake. Its more like a frozen fruitpop shake with a mixture of rice, coconut and soy m;lk. My associate says the blue one tastes "okay" but the green one is "a little bleh", but he's disappointed cuz he went in hoping to taste m;lk rather than soy juice. The green m;lk is actually yellow. One cup of "m;lk" costs $8.61.

On to the new info in regards to the M;lk Stand. Its just called "M;lk Stand". No crazy alien name. Its run by humans who claim it comes "fresh from the farm". The clerks tell you that blue m;lk is from farm-raised Banthas raised locally on Batuu while Siren m;lk is imported. Despite what she says, there are no banthas in the park... None you can ride or take pics with... The only banthas at the park are "baby banthas" which are just small plush toys that cost 40 fucking dollars. Here's a pic my associate took. 39.99 to be exact (with heavy tax).
779140

Only decent thing I can say about the m;lk stand is the way the m;lk is dispensed is kinda neat I guess. That's about it. Not much I can say about this m;lk stand. My associate hopes there will be aliens at the park tomorrow morning since that's one all the big number of guests are expected. Although I'm still doubtful. If there are aliens at these parks, I'm starting to ponder the possibility that maybe all the actual aliens will be at the Florida park. That has to be the case since the Disney website still lists some uniquely named aliens as running the stores... right?

Anyway here's some m;lk stand pics:

Exterior. It has some kind of moisture vaporator-like device near the front.
779153


Concept art for comparison.
779154


M;lk jugs on the ceiling. They're just there for show but its meant to look like the m;lk is coming from up there.
779177


M;lk dispenser. Closes by itself.
779155
779156


Green sloth titty m;lk up close.
779178

Its actually mucus-y yellow...

The fags at Polygon weigh in with their thoughts on the "m;lk":

779158

"W-Wow... Its... its great! Right guys...?"
When you can't get the soyboys at Polygon to do a soyface with your milk, you know you dun goofed. That about covers the Milk Stand.

Edit: Why do these shitty word filters exist?

Forgot to add this one. Its a bit old but I found it amusing.
779159

Even the usual shills seems to be having trouble swallowing the farm lore.
779160


Edit 2:
Video of a milk tasting... from a vegan bragging about the milk being vegan.
 
Last edited:
Jesus fucking Krypton.

Honestly, if you're jonesing for SW merch, you'd be better off attending a major fan convention that has a dealer's room. Probably get better prices and you'd DEFINITELY get a better selection.

This is genuinely astonishing because you'd think Disney parks would have better quality. I expected 'holograms', the occasional choreographed Jedi/Sith duel in the streets, marching Stormtrooper patrols... this just seems half assed. Like some second rate hack designed and funded it.

That remark about removing the 'Soarin' ride really rustles my jimmies. I've got serious acrophobia if I can actually perceive the height I'm at (hence, flying doesn't bother me; no point of reference). And yet Soarin' was so neat it actually suppressed the terror, and I was able to go back and do it again a day or two later.
 
jellycar said:
Wow. So expensive. Ugh. And they actually expect people to spend hundreds of dollars?View attachment 779480
Yep. Don't forget to buy your $40 dollar tiny bantha plushie.

So I already covered the M;lk Stand (and their "Banthas") which was the smallest restaurant/shop, as such it had little pictures or anything to be offered. Any particular restaurant or shop I should cover next? Or do any of you want to know something specific? Also forgot to post these shots my associate took of the entrance to Dok's store up-close.
779493

779500


As I said before. The top of the door says "Antiquities" in aurebesh. The little letters on the handle are fake aurebesh made to resemble english which just say "automatic door". Also I'll be receiving more info and shots today to see if aliens finally appear at the park since the 31st is when its open to a wider public (even though its mostly for low-tier reservations), with the worldwide opening being on June 24. Supposedly to keep the park from getting overcrowded (and to exploit customers willing to fork over extra dough for those reservations offers).
 
Last edited:
Yep. Don't forget to buy your $40 dollar tiny bantha plushie.

So I already covered the M;lk Stand (and their "Banthas") which was the smallest restaurant/shop, as such it had little pictures or anything to be offered. Any particular restaurant or shop I should cover next? Or do any of you want to know something specific? Also forgot to post these shots my associate took of the entrance to Dok's store up-close.
View attachment 779493
View attachment 779500

As I said before. The top of the door says "Antiquities" in aurebesh. The little letters on the handle are fake aurebesh made to resemble english which just say "automatic door". Also I'll be receiving more info and shots today to see if aliens finally appear at the park.
You or somebody else showed pics of the food, so seeing the restaurants would be interesting.

Or the pathetic thing they made the First Order shop into after getting rid of the toy guns it was supposed to have.
 
Has Bob Iger gone senile?

Like seriously how the fuck do you fuck up this badly?

Everything Disney's done with Star Wars has been a half assed tone deaf disaster.

Why did they even buy the franchise if they aren't going to put any effort in?

Hes the new Jeffrey Katzenberg
 
Has Bob Iger gone senile?

Like seriously how the fuck do you fuck up this badly?

Everything Disney's done with Star Wars has been a half assed tone deaf disaster.

Why did they even buy the franchise if they aren't going to put any effort in?
I know right? I'm starting to think that these people really hated Star Wars growing up.
 
Back