My social security is cancelled due to suspious activty?

This particular robocall seems to be making the rounds again. Shitposting aside, the best thing to do is ignore these calls, block the numbers if you can, and poke fun at the calls here. :biggrin: (Perhaps we need a 'Share your robo/telemarketing calls' thread here.)

We get all kinds of crap calls at the workplace. If time permits and I can do so while sounding professional, I'll try to toy with a live operator during the rare instances an actual person is on the other end of the call. In response to someone claiming to be our phone company (protip: 99% of the time, it's either a reseller or third party trying to switch you to services that end up costing much more than your current bill), I told the caller, "Oh, we don't have phone service here." Without even a pause or realization I was BS'ing, the operator said, "Oh, OK," and hung up.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: The Littlest Shitlord
749696

lel
 
  • Like
Reactions: Marvin
The mother fucker was a lying bastard. I got my social security check deposit last night. I got it today because June 1 is on a Saturday so I get it early if the first is on a weekend. I got a social security check for 700 or so every month since August. I was thrown into the pysch ward a lot and diagnosed with Autism and major depression,
 
  • Informative
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: Tragi-Chan, Randy Lahey, Marvin and 2 others
Shiversblood said:
The mother fucker was a lying bastard. I got my social security check deposit last night. I got it today because June 1 is on a Saturday so I get it early if the first is on a weekend. I got a social security check for 700 or so every month since August. I was thrown into the pysch ward a lot and diagnosed with Autism and major depression,
Click to expand...
This might be the most honest thing you or anyone has ever posted on the farms. Bravo and god speed you insane bastard.
 
Okay, don't panic. Take a few breaths to calm yourself. You good? I'm going to let you in on a secret occult ritual that will solve this problem. It might sound a little crazy, but the smart people always sound crazy to the dumb people. Just don't tell anyone I told you this, ok?

You want to get one of those plastic kiddie swimming pools and five black votive candles. Fill the pool to the brim with coleslaw and arrange the candles into a pentacle surrounding the pool.

Stand on one leg in the coleslaw after lighting the candles, whistle Love and Marriage by Frank Sinatra and then invoke the name of Mammon, NOT Belial, Lucifer or Mephistopheles! It MUST be Mammon! This is crucial! Invoke Mammon's name and say "greed is good!" then hop FIVE times in the coleslaw. The ritual is then complete and your social insecurities will be absolved.

No need to thank me.
 
I dialed 911 and I said I stabbed my mom with a knife. And then I went outside and was outside on the cell phone with 911 they said dont hang up when i said the cops got there but i did anyway. I wanted those cops to shoot my ass. There was at least 5 cops they all had they guns out pointed at me. They were screaming at me and very angry. And they said, "Whats going on man, talk to me!" as they had the guns on me. i actually got spooked and put my hands up and i told them my name and they handcuffed me. i didnt actually stab my mom. i was in the pysch ward for 14 days. the longest i ever been in. I now realize how bad of a situation I put the cops in when I did that and would never do it again.
 
  • DRINK!
Reactions: 1 person
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back