Bad parents can have bad children. Bad parents can have good children.
Good parents can have bad children. Good parents can have good children.
Bad children can lie and say they had bad parents when they didn’t.
Situations can fuck up one child that doesn’t affect another. A divorce can turn one child resentful and mean, and another child goes yay, double Christmas presents.
It cannot be categorically said that doing a specific thing will mess somebody up. It takes a lot of factors: the thing done, the purpose of the thing done, the personality of the child-whether they are timid , meek, resilient, sensitive, have perspective.
I’ve seen women who were sexually abused who became normal mothers, wives, workers, loving people who put it behind them. I’ve seen some become fat, sexually promiscuous and selfish. I’ve seen this duality from sisters.
I’ve seen siblings smacked and beaten, and two came out fine and wouldn’t even spank their kids, and one became an abuser.
Jeffrey Dahmer’s family was normal. John Wayne Gary’s father was abusive.
It goes on and on like this.
The point is, there are no boxes to put people in. There is no “if A happens, B will probably happen.” There are too many other factors.
We can speculate about Chantel and other cows that we know something about, but not about every fat person/addict/abuser because they might lie, they might be telling the truth, they might see things as kids that aren’t the way it was, or maybe their coping is different.
Statistics are not truth, they are used inaccurately in most cases by some group who wants to get a point across.
As for Chantel, I believe her mother did coddle her, probably because she had temper tantrums well into her teens and mom didn’t how to control it.(probably didn’t start early enough.) So she allowed Chantel the freedom to be horrible and mean and eat, and just ignored all she could.
I think Chantel probably does feel hurt by her dad and feels unloved by him. That doesn’t mean she is unloved, it just meant she didn’t get love the way she felt she deserved it. Many people realize that somebody can’t give more than they have, but Chantel and folks like her keep trying and upping the game to no avail. Some of her acting out may be to get attention, but I suspect Chantel is one of those people who sucks all the air and life out of a room, and there will never be enough attention for her. I think if she was an A list movie star, she’d still be miserable, horrible to those around her, and wanting “more.”
She hates herself, she hates her life, she still, at 35, expects somebody to change it for her. Her parents weren’t good parents but they were hardly the worst. She was clothed, housed, put up with, and fed. Boy was she fed.
Any stories she has to tell about her miserable childhood are just that-stories. Chantel lies.