Cultcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

[ducktales4gameboy]

That’s hilarious. He definitely booked a full body massage thinking he’d get a female, and ended up with some big muscular man rubbing him all over. Fucking amazing. The only thing that would make it funnier is if it was a black or Hispanic guy.

He’s increasingly scraping the barrel with who he can afford to pay. The other day it was a low grade insta thot, now it’s cheap massage parlours. He’ll be trawling the streets looking for poor junkies desperate for meth money by the weekend.

I never realized how much Russ reminds me of Leisure Suit Larry but the resemblance is uncanny, from the way he hits on everyone who he perceives a 9 or 10 to to way he continuously gets bait-and-switched in situations he thinks are going to end with him getting laid. The massage thing literally happens in one of the games as well.

 

[gobbogobb]

I've never had a legit massage where I was forced to take off anything. If you don't want to get naked no massage parlor is going to make you.

Russ has a case of the gays.

 

[Walking Clock]

Russ seeing a therapist made me think of Dr. Loomis in Halloween:

"I met him, 15 years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding in even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this twenty-nine-year-old man child with this blank, pale, frozen face, and... the blackest eyes - the Devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him from Taylor Swift because I realized that what was living behind that clever boy's eyes was purely and simply... ree."

 

[Damaged Goods]

what was living behind that clever boy's eyes was purely and simply... ree.

If I could I'd give you a for this sentence alone

 

[Bamanda]

I've never had a legit massage where I was forced to take off anything. If you don't want to get naked no massage parlor is going to make you.

Russ has a case of the gays.

I dunno if this is power levelling or not, so I apologise of it is.

I guess massages are similar to when a woman gets a spray tan, or professional waxing done on intimate areas. The beauticians are always really kind and put you at ease about getting naked (or almost naked) in front of a stranger. I’d imagine masseurs do the same in their environment. The guy probably said something like ‘ok just go behind the screen and take your clothes off, then pop up on the table and we’ll get started.’ There would have been plenty of opportunity to say ‘actually I was just looking for a head massage today.’

Russ just went with it in the hopes of getting a pokey bum wank off of a man while maintaining plausible deniability.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Most registered/licensed masseuses/masseurs and reputable clinics would have a client complete an intake form, like this one, prior to touching them. Whether you’re there to address physical ailments or for unambiguous relaxation, there is an expectation of the client to detail what they are seeking to achieve during that particular session and an onus on the practitioner to not stray from what was detailed.

One can assume that Russ’ form, if he completed one, looked something like this:

 

[moocow]

I love that he got a full massage but was like “he touched my bum!!!” as if the masseur just went straight for his backside and that’s all. And no way he went in for a “head massage.” He went in to get a pretty girl to touch him, got assigned a man, Russed out and asked timidly for a head massage instead and another GIRRRRL masseuse, and was given the full package he paid for by an annoyed male employee after none of the women would touch him.

Dunno why he's complaining about the massage. Head massages feel fucking fantastic, don't care who's giving them. Even with his facial paralysis, which would presumably prevent him from feeling his face being worked on, there's also the scalp and ears and neck. Feels great, man.

Having said that, I'm not sure how exactly he had trouble booking a masseuse instead of a masseur; I've always been asked when I make an appointment which gender I prefer, and they use that to figure out where to put me on the schedule. It's not even an issue and nobody's ever even given it a second thought. Then again I've never gone looking (or asking) for a handshake either. He must have been seriously creeping on the female staff to have them all refuse and send in Bruno instead.

Do we know if he's racist at all? He could always visit an Asian massage parlor if not. They tend to offer "extras."

 

[AbraCadaver]

Dunno why he's complaining about the massage. Head massages feel fucking fantastic, don't care who's giving them. Even with his facial paralysis, which would presumably prevent him from feeling his face being worked on, there's also the scalp and ears and neck. Feels great, man.

Having said that, I'm not sure how exactly he had trouble booking a masseuse instead of a masseur; I've always been asked when I make an appointment which gender I prefer, and they use that to figure out where to put me on the schedule. It's not even an issue and nobody's ever even given it a second thought. Then again I've never gone looking (or asking) for a handshake either. He must have been seriously creeping on the female staff to have them all refuse and send in Bruno instead.

Do we know if he's racist at all? He could always visit an Asian massage parlor if not. They tend to offer "extras."

You know he asked for a woman and when he showed up in his smelly suit, all the women became mysteriously too busy.

 

[moocow]

You know he asked for a woman and when he showed up in his smelly suit, all the women became mysteriously too busy.

Heh good point. And Russ being Russ, he was probably too dumb/scared (or desperate) to just say "oh, that's fine, I can just come back later or go somewhere else."

 

[slackjawjoe]

He double posted. Poor masseuse ewwww

He's trying to give his trauma lumps some TLC.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Russ edited his post, tagging the clinic.

Meet the staff.

 

[lamp shade]

Who is this Demi person

 

[Damaged Goods]

If he was so creeped out why didn't he just say something? Or get up and leave? Either he's not being truthful or he thoroughly enjoyed that butt massage.

 

[Swedishcrepes02]

Russ edited his post, tagging the clinic.

Meet the staff.

I really hope the staff sees his post and call him out on it. Something like that could be really damaging to a company.

 

[Cilleystring]

Russ edited his post, tagging the clinic.

Meet the staff.

I reckon he wanted a massage from the secretary with the big smile, but got Big Ben instead.

Who is this Demi person
View attachment 794207

She has been commenting for quite some time now. One of the few people that hasnt been blocked as she is careful to always agree with Russ. She seems to post small comments in hopes for more info about his shenanigans.

 

[TheGuyFromUtah]

Big Ben lol. He doesn't look like the type to put up with Russell's crap.

 

[Deadpool]

I guarantee you Shitlips asked for a full massage thinking he'd get a woman. The guy came in and since he's a pussy in real life he didn't say shit. Then was so ashamed that instead of keeping quiet he posted on Facebook about telling the guy no.

 

[XxxwernxxX]

Russ edited his post, tagging the clinic.

Meet the staff.

So I guess he got Ben...I didn't see a 'head massage' option anywhere on their page. And who says no to a full body massage for the same price as a trauma lump massage?

Somehow I doubt that Rusty's ass was actually 'rubbed', at least in the sense that he's trying to imply. Every full body massage that I've received has included a head massage, incidentally.

Finally, who the fuck tries to get a rub n tug at a chiropractor's office???

 

[Kosher Salt]

He double posted. Poor masseuse ewwww

LOL. Russ trying to get a cute female to massage his trauma lumps and ending up tightly clenching his ass while some dude tried to loosen his glutes is just about my favorite Russ story so far.

Russ edited his post, tagging the clinic.

Meet the staff.

I reckon he wanted a massage from the secretary with the big smile, but got Big Ben instead.

I think you're right. I definitely can't imagine him wanting a massage from any of the other staff, so he must have actually been dumb enough to think that the secretary would just hop over to massage his temples. One of those fugly old ladies could just work the desk for a while, I suppose.

 

[homewayhalf]

Russ is definitely a racist. He’s commented negatively on IG posts where women posed with their black boyfriends. He’s clean-cut (lol) and white and wears suits and they’re thugs.